(Thread IKs:
OwlFancier, crispix)
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Nuclear Spoon posted:the longer you spend with your hand in the cash register the more likely it is you'll get caught
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Mar 3, 2024 23:42
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 14:48 |
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isn’t “puppy smuggling” also a euphemism for wearing a sweater over large breasts? or is that just something my internet-poisoned brain has invented?
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Mar 5, 2024 12:32
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Guavanaut posted:Those are sweater puppies, I've never heard it the other way around. Although in the theme of the above, it's possible that we're both some kind of deviated prevert
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Mar 5, 2024 14:57
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Apraxin posted:me 5 mins ago: why are we spending so many posts trading kate photo conspiracy theories?!?
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Mar 10, 2024 23:39
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Jakabite posted:I mean they definitely touch up pictures all the time and that’s considered fine so it must be something egregious enough for multiple editors of the most respected (for better or worse) photographic agencies in the world to pull them.
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Mar 11, 2024 00:18
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fuctifino posted:William gets full legal immunity when his dad dies, so all he has to do is murder Charles too. 
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Mar 11, 2024 13:50
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smellmycheese posted:im gonna suggest the whole thing is relatively mundane and its simply that she has decided to divorce him and stop publlic appearances since he finally confessed to shagging the Marchioness of Cholmondley - which is a real person, and the very fact I can type the above sentence shows how utterly insane this country is.
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Mar 11, 2024 17:34
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I care for my kids every other week
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Mar 12, 2024 00:11
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I’m assuming the decision will be reversed inside a month 
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Mar 13, 2024 00:32
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bessantj posted:ChatGPT is trained on about 10,000 dad jokes. ChatGPT posted:A “dad-a-base”! 😄
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Mar 13, 2024 22:22
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I tried to do the “fill a watermelon with vodka” once when I went camping as a young ‘un but we took mushrooms and then later fell asleep and woke up to find a donkey eating the melon and our hamburgers crispix posted:it is red nose day did yous wear funny nose and head shave bath of beans for to raise money for the starving children in africa hehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe
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Mar 15, 2024 23:14
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There was also at least one academic paper trying to quantitatively assess just how biased against him the media was Journalistic transgressions in the representation of Jeremy Corbyn: From watchdog to attackdog comes to mind
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Mar 17, 2024 12:21
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Americans pronounce it “erb” and that’s all I need to know it’s wrong
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Mar 17, 2024 13:17
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smellmycheese posted:Wait until you hear how the
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Mar 17, 2024 19:43
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I don’t think my brain can accept “pardon?” as being less posh than “what?”
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Mar 17, 2024 23:30
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five news programmes broke the rules, but lucky for you we operate a “𝑛 strikes policy” where 𝑛 is always one more than the number of rule breaches
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Mar 18, 2024 12:34
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Make the same MPs go on a real TV station to list the rules they breached and apologise
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Mar 18, 2024 12:41
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T-shirt quote:quote:On refunds for the event, which some customers claim they are still to receive, he said: “I am not a scam artist, I am not a con man or anything like that. I don’t know if the guy has trouble speaking or if “The National” has editing issues but quote:“My life has been turned upside, my life is ruined,” he said. 
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Mar 18, 2024 18:55
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Jaeluni Asjil posted:ed: Note: Before being declared bankrupt there is an upfront cost payable of £680.
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Mar 18, 2024 18:58
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forkboy84 posted:Honestly at this point if they replace Sunak it just guarantees they won't have an election until January or whenever the last possible date is. With Rishi still in charge we might have gotten it before Christmas.
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Mar 19, 2024 08:10
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GAH I haven’t seen the new Twin Peaks yet, don’t ruin this for me as well 
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Mar 19, 2024 17:38
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When I lived in Chester I walked past the racecourse when the races were on once and realised even if I’d wanted to place a bet I would have been linguistically unable to do so, all the terms and jargon were so completely alien to me. Literally could not understand what the odds meant or who was supposed to win or what situation was supposed to happen, absolutely bewildering.
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Mar 19, 2024 20:51
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Sir Sidney Poitier posted:Only bet I ever did was as a group at the dog track, where we ended up for someone's stag do. The dog won, we let the stag keep the proceeds.
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Mar 20, 2024 00:11
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even worse, these will be The Good Old Days
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Mar 20, 2024 00:38
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News headline today was something about banning a group of ~SUPER STRENGTH STREET OPIOIDS~, I thought they brought in that stupid law a few years back banning all drugs by default so they didn’t have to do this anymore?
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Mar 20, 2024 09:15
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Tesseraction posted:feel this guy is just trying to make me laugh harder each time he pops up https://twitter.com/CultureCrave/status/1770270571395502409
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Mar 20, 2024 13:00
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Waiting to find out that’s actually the name and face of an old business partner he’s trying to gently caress over
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Mar 20, 2024 13:02
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Jakabite posted:I once got reprimanded at a new job for expressing that I thought a chicken bake was like a hot cumshot in food form.
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Mar 20, 2024 13:07
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The only ‘housing’ that gets built near me is “boutique student living” where students are crammed into tiny highrise boxrooms that are below spec to ever be repurposed as regular flats, but they have movie nights and housekeeping to justify enormous rents 
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Mar 21, 2024 10:34
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Tesseraction posted:I tend to buy mice and keyboards every 3-5 years as things like the cables or plastic starts to wear away.
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Mar 21, 2024 13:12
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Marmaduke! posted:Too many people caught up in living in a big city, if you just broadened your horizens you could live somewhere beautiful and affordable like...  as a housextothez posted:I've never seen a list of UK places that looked more like it was generated by AI than this. It's so weird not recognising a single one.
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Mar 21, 2024 14:35
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crispix posted:good way to kill a brand that.
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Mar 21, 2024 19:38
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Sod shopping IMO, I’m sure you’ve seen shops before. Take the opportunity to hop on a train and go see the Peak District, a genuinely beautiful part of England that looks like it’s come out of some delightful illustrated postcard
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Mar 22, 2024 01:19
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I’m sure all the flag-botherers very upset about the cross will be able to tell us the exact shade of red it should be, then? Tell me the Pantone colour code without looking it up, fucker!
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Mar 22, 2024 15:38
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Tesseraction posted:Around me tons of new housing is being built but the problem is they're still bloody expensive AND the commute is way longer.
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Mar 25, 2024 13:42
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Tesseraction posted:No! Apostrophe then S means possessive. 
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Mar 26, 2024 12:31
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Shout out to resident cyber bong lord fuctifino, your posts about medical weed got me to mention it to my partner who suffers chronic pain and she’s now looking forward to receiving a selection box of prescription weed in the post which will really help her out  Starbucks posted:I got some of those new sexy pylons near me
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Mar 26, 2024 17:04
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I don't think I've ever heard of Laurence Fox outside this thread and to be honest I don't think I'd be able to tell you what he was known for prior to being a Twitter corncob posting daily updates on how he's wrecking his life.
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Mar 28, 2024 16:33
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I’m a big boy now I’m having ice cream for breakfast gently caress you mum and dad
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Mar 29, 2024 13:07
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 14:48 |
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Starbucks posted:Do you rinse off stuff before putting it in the dishwasher? If so, don’t.  What does this achieve other than causing a blockage?
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Mar 30, 2024 10:32
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