- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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I know we like to bask in the glory of Big John, but did the ol' Timothy the Mouse story have pictures too?
Tragically, no.
I assume she's also sticking the spoon back into the peanut butter after eating some. Just gonna let all that mouth bacteria grow in the uncovered peanut butter.
Bold of you to assume she's using a spoon.
i know a couple who will get 2 queen bed hotel room over a single king so that one partner has a snacking bed.
Glad to know Mr. and Mrs. roast chicken and garlic mashed potatoes have managed to work things out.
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Apr 2, 2024 18:25
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May 21, 2024 08:34
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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So that's what Mr. Boop looks like.
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Apr 4, 2024 06:39
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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So was this actually someone's bare rear end, or did this woman feel threatened by sagged pants, a fashion that has been around for over three decades and is associated with gangsters and the inner city?
Probably OP got spooked because it was a nonwhite asscrack.
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Apr 14, 2024 05:13
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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This has already been deleted and none of the normal workarounds (ceddit, rareddit, wayback, etc) are working for me. Does anyone have a functional link? I want to see how crooked this towel bar is.
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Apr 14, 2024 16:35
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Lol I don't think you can just sign up for insurance after you damage your property
You can. They just won't pay lol.
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Apr 15, 2024 05:20
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Sub guy, Soup Tubes, Ketchup Rent Skit, and Sandwich Millionaire are my favorite food-based /r/relationship stories.
Party sub:
AITA because I ate more than "my share" of a 6 foot party sub last night?
quote:
What I thought would be a total non issue has ballooned into a huge problem and I'm up at 7:05 AM dealing with it. I figured while I wait for a text, I could post here to see if what I did was really that bad.
I'm a big fat rear end, there's no way around it. I love to eat which probably borders on addiction but I figure since I'm only hurting myself it's probably better to just live my life. I have some great friends although there is no doubt I'm the "harmless, funny token fat guy" of the otherwise pretty good looking group. I guess that sets the stage enough.
Last night my friend hosted UFC and I was invited. He got a 6 foot party sub. I also brought homemade wings that are sort of my specialty. Well of course people flocked to the food and I had basically one serving of the sandwich but people devoured my wings and I didn't get to have a single one. Which is totally fine that's why I brought them but maybe an hour later I was starving. I kept eyeing the sandwich and I'd say there was about 3 feet of it left. I waited an hour, then another half hour and no one had touched it (but they were still munching on chips, pretzels and what not). So I was like screw it...I took about half of what was left and ate it. Then the last half sat for another 10-15 minutes and no one said anything so ate the rest.
Well to be sure as I was swallowing the last bite the host's girlfriend asked where the sandwich was. Like I was the guilty party pretty much everyone pointed at me. I guess they'd noticed me eating the sandwich. She was furious and said that I was an incredible pig and that I had been super selfish to eat 3 feet of a sandwich. I felt so bad I tried to explain to her that I really did wait over an hour and thought people had lost interest. I also tried to explain how everyone had ate my wings and she said something along the lines of "you brought them to share Alan, if someone had eaten over half by themselves that's not loving sharing is it?"
I offered to order pizza or even go get subways and she said that it was a pathetic offer because the party sub had been from a local shop owned by her friends. I said I was sorry but the night was so tense from then on out.
I woke up this morning to several texts from my twin sisters (the host's girlfriend's best friends) saying that I had to get my poo poo under control and that everyone is really mad at me and that I embarrassed myself last night. I tried to explain to them what my mindset had been and they haven't responded.
Was I the rear end in a top hat for eating that much of the sandwich last night?
Edit: I guess I’ve been banned from responding but my inbox has 1200 notification so I can’t find out why.
To answer what seems to be the most common misconception, this wasn’t a subway party sub so definitely not 4x the size of a regular sub. This is a local place so it’s about 1.5 times the width of a regular sub. Its still a ton of food don’t get me wrong but I can down 5 subway footlongs in an afternoon easily; this is probably about equivalent to that, not 12 like some people are saying.
The themes present in the sandwich:
AITA for trying to sell my sandwich recipe to various deli's in my town?
quote:Recently I came up with what I think is a very delicious and innovative sandwich recipe. The ingredients compliment each other beautifully even though the combination is unique.
I came up with a basic business idea to generate some extra money from this sandwich. The city I live in has a lot of deli's, old school kind of places and also newer "hipster" kind of places and everything in between. I have been approaching the managers at these deli's with the following proposal:
For a one-time fee of $50 I will sell them the recipe and also conduct a training session for their staff on how to properly make the sandwich and also to educate them on the themes present in the sandwich. Then, I will take a 20% cut of the the price for each sandwich sold. (So let's say just 1 deli took my deal, and they charged $10 for my sandwich, and they only sold 10 of them per day. I'd make $140 per week ($190 the first week with my fee) and basically $560 per month. From ONE place. But to be honest I have faith my sandwich would probably sell around 40-50 per day given the volume of customers and the quality of my sandwich, so you do the math. Plus I'd be having more than one deli sell it...ka-ching!)
I have approached 11 deli managers so far and every one so far has said no, and a few of them have even acted weird or even rude to me on the matter. Twice I got into a slight argument based on the interaction. They don't seem to understand the value of my sandwich, I think maybe many of them are too proud to take on a recipe from an outsider, but I feel I am being reasonable.
When I explained to my friends what I am doing and that I intend to keep approaching deli's on this matter, many of them claimed I was being an rear end in a top hat by doing this. They think it is rude basically to ask a deli to sell my recipe and that I shouldn't fight for my dreams. I think my terms are generous and I am really only helping these deli's if they would only open their minds, if they sold my sandwich their profits would grow measurably even after I take my cut. Is it really that rude to try to sell my recipe? My friends are threatening to not go to lunch with me anymore because I have promised them I will try to sell my recipe when we do so, but all I am doing is trying to hustle. This has caused interpersonal conflict because I defend my dreams with passion, which leads to my friends accusing me of overreacting. (And yes I am passionate when I try to sway deli managers too, I even cried once, but it is with their own interest in mind not just my own.)
AITA?
quote:Maybe I am not explaining something correctly, but the clever part of my business plan is that with this method I do not have to expend any funds on things like location rental, employee wages, supplies, etc. Yes if I opened a shop I could charge more for the sandwich, but those expenses would eat into it.
With my business model I am basically selling my expertise and recipe (an intellectual property) and I do not have to make any expenses at all. My 20% might be a low fee, but it is pure profit with no deductions at all. In the end it adds up to a very nice income, particularly after I sign up a few deli's.
Now, keep in mind this is advantageous to the deli as well, this helps them. They keep 80% of the profit and they get increased customers as word of mouth spreads about their new sandwich. I am driving business to them they otherwise would not have. The income I drive to them would more than cover the extra ingredients they have to buy.
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Apr 17, 2024 06:53
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Just divorce the nerd. If they have engineer brain and have it in their head that 2 showers a week is the limit then they're already too far gone.
But she can't just pull the nail out of her head!
OP posted:Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.
Why won't anyone help her with this nail in her head?
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Apr 19, 2024 19:30
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Since Dr. Worm was already posted, the only other thing worm music calls to mind for me.
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Apr 20, 2024 08:20
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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ULPT request: How to get buried money out of backyard that isn't my property
quote:
So my friend told me that he buried some cash in a backyard of one of his parents old houses. It is no longer theirs, and he doesn't know the new occupants. I want to get the money (he told me I can have some if I can get it) but obviously can't go over there and start digging. I am pretty sure if I go tell the new owners about it (even very vaguely) they would just tell me no and then look for it themselves. Is there any way I could do this and avoid getting it taken by someone else? He remembers exactly where it is buried, and it is several thousand dollars. He was in jail when his parents left, which is why he couldn't get it.
This will end well.
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Apr 23, 2024 13:37
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Another all timer I was reminded of from the Don Draper and 5 Tequila shot one is the "unmanagement" one with the dude who turned his department into a social club and he got a new employee who was actually competent and just wanted to do good work. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
Unmanagement LW
part 1
quote:I’m writing this question based on feedback received from an exit interview.
A woman in her mid-30’s left my department after a little over a year. When giving her notice, she commented that she was taking a job closer to home (she had an hour commute each way some days) and had wanted to go back to a position closer to her original line of work. Her senior team members and I were sad to see her go.
HR sent me the results of her exit interview and wanted to discuss “the cultural problems in my department.” On the exit interview, the former employee mentioned that my staff leaves at lunch one day per week to go to a brewery for a beer run (which is true, I allow this) and she was often the only team member in the office; her fellow associates were unwilling to assist her and spent time on social media such as Snapchat, creating an exclusive environment (she was more quiet, older than the 20somethings in the position, and not as much into social media); and that interdepartmental relationships created power dynamics that ruined morale (one of my newly promoted seniors was sleeping with an associate and it wasn’t noticed by me or any other executives).
I don’t feel like this is a cultural issue; I think this was her not being a good fit for our team. I do allow my staff to go to breweries as long as they have coverage. I encourage my staff to be friends in and outside of work and I cannot monitor relationships. At no point did the employee bring this to my attention during our informal one-on-ones. She was extremely quiet and kept to herself, and she didn’t mingle with the team because of her commute and commitments she had (she’s married with a kid and had recently bought a house).
Am I in the wrong or is the former employee just out of touch with how a team of professional millenials works?
part 2
quote:I was fired today without severance. When my letter was published, I was already on suspension based on the exit interview investigation, poor management practices and complaints from other areas, none of which I believe are accurate. HR and the management team stated I had mismanaged my team and the ex-employee. I had given assignments meant for her and assigned to her by my director to other members on the team because I wanted to develop them, including my newly promoted senior. As a manager, I knew my team better. Giving special assignments to her, even though it was her role, screwed over my long term team members who would complain to me. I had also downgraded her end-of-year evaluation. I don’t think she deserved the praise she received from the sales staff, my directorand client executives. Her work just wasn’t that good to me. I thought if my team and I froze her out, she would leave. I called it un-managing.
My team found her quietness and her ability to develop sales presentations and connect with each client was very show-off-like. When she asked for help, we didn’t take it seriously because we thought she acted like she knew everything and she was making us look bad by always going above and beyond for no reason. My team and I had worked together for 5-6 years so I knew them, their work and their personalities better than anyone else so I took what they said with more seriousness. I also thought that her years of experience were irrelevant; she didn’t have anything beyond a bachelor’s degree (most of us were smart and dedicated enough to get a masters) and her experience was in a different subset of insurance.
HR and my regional vice president stated she had been hired to fill a role for a growing segment of our business and should have functioned as a team consultant. I used her as an associate so it didn’t make waves with the rest of the team. By losing her, we lost clients and leverage in the marketplace. Our sales territory couldn’t afford to lose any more business under my “mismanagement” and the HR was worried about damage to the brand name. During her employment, my director and I had several meetings on her role as she also dotted line reported to him. I had continued to be insubordinate because ex-employee, in my opinion, didn’t fit in and needed to earn her way to what my director had envisioned for her. If her role had panned out, she would have been higher up than me after two years when I had been there for five.
HR told me the brewery beer runs were against company policy and I should have stopped the SnapChats, especially those who had it on their company phones. I disagree that it was bullying because she wasn’t on Snap so if she didn’t see it, how is this bullying? I also don’t know how/if I should have monitored this with my team. My entire team was fired. The reasons for the firings included alcohol at work, even though we were physically at the brewery, inappropriate social media behavior, and not meeting the code of conduct.
I’m not sure the lesson(s) I’m supposed to learn; I feel like I was the scapegoat for a favored employee’s reason to leave. Being dedicated to your work doesn’t mean you can’t have fun at the same time. My former team and I are wondering if we can take action against ex-employee — her exit interview damaged our reputation, our team, and our careers.
part 3
quote:I wanted to provide an update. I spent August and the first half of September attending some pretty intensive therapy which was beneficial. In therapy, I learned how to deal with people who challenged me past my comfort zone. It also made me step back and realize that I don’t ever want to manage again and that my personality is not one suited for management. I also had the ability to step back and review my behavior: I was self destructive in the work place and those behaviors rubbed off on my team as my team members were younger and more impressionable. I plan to continue individual therapy.
I did get a new job. I started a new position in marketing (which is what my degreee is in). It’s a few steps above entry level in a small firm where I’ll be under more supervision. I’m excited to move on from my mistakes.
Thank you to you and your readers for your advice. While the comments were harsh, I took the time to read them a few times over throughout the course of therapy. It’s tough to hear how much people think you suck but it helped me get back on track.
I wish you and your readers the best for the remainder of 2017 and beyond. Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Apr 23, 2024
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Apr 23, 2024 22:15
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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After rereading the email correspondence it appears like this was actually a lady? I had always pictured a guy too.
Updated post accordingly. I had assumed the same. Aside from it not being mentioned in the letter, just the metatext/response from AAM, the LW's description adheres to so many of the beats of a typical horror story about techbros/lawyers/doctors/bankers/video game designers/etc boxing out a more competent woman in their office and then citing "cultural differences" when their sabotages of her career trajectory are brought to light.
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Apr 23, 2024 22:34
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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I'm a little confused about what this dude gets out of having the same conversation which is basically him just bitching with several different people in a row.
He likes to hear himself whine about mass media, has a cadre of doormats/people who will set their phone down while folding laundry and allow this to happen, and no friends or outlets to inflict his screeds on. From the description, I doubt the other members of his family do much talking during these calls.
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Apr 23, 2024 22:37
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaAF_GAc3Mk
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Apr 25, 2024 21:12
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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AITA for not wanting to continue my husband’s dead wife’s naming aesthetic?quote:
Hi all. Please tell me if I am TA or not.
I (35f) am 30 weeks pregnant. My husband Emmett (39m) was a widower when I met him and he had two kids with his wife, they are Emrys (10m) and Emersyn (8f). His late wife was named Ember and she loved the Em aesthetic so that all their names would start with Em.
Emmett and I have began discussing names, none of the names on my list start with Em. My SIL Mallory was visiting today and she said that my daughter may grow up feeling singled out and not connected to her siblings if they don’t share the Em aesthetic. I told her that Emmet and I are going to make a list of 5 names we love and we’ll let Emrys and Emersyn choose the name together. In all honestly, I am a bit uncomfortable continuing his late wife’s obsession with the aesthetic so I think my idea is lovely way for the kids to have a name connections without choosing one with Em.
Mallory told Emmett that we should name our daughter Emily, which is a name he adores. She kept pushing for me to approve until she hit a nerve and I told her that I am giving birth to MY baby, not Embers, and I want to choose a name that I love and not an aesthetic that she loved.
Emmett got quiet, put his head down, and left the room. Mallory told me that I shouldn’t have said that and that I’m a major AH for saying what I said. I told her that she should have ended the conversation the first time I tried to shut it down.
I talked to Emmett and he told me to forget it and to choose whatever name I like. He hasn’t shown any interest in continuing our discussions about names.
Reddit, AITA here?
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May 12, 2024 06:02
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May 21, 2024 08:34
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Funko poops.
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May 12, 2024 18:22
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Apr 2, 2024 18:25
