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I am really curious about what's happening with Loras Tyrell over at Dragonstone or Storm's End, whichever it is. There hasn't been any confirmation of whether he's alive or dead or getting it on with Renly Bartheon's shade or gods only know what else. Considering the hints that were so unsubtly dropped, it's probably getting a good pounding from Renley's ghost. In his butt. They're having gay butt-sex. This is my theory.
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Aug 19, 2011 05:06
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SharpyShuffle posted:Incredibly vain & arrogant pretty boy gets horribly scarred - every law of storytelling says he's not going to die before we get a chance to see him struggling with the ruin he's become. Until he ends up killing himself. After all, Renly wouldn't want to see him like this. "You found me beautiful once!" Its also occurred to me: I wonder how ruined a corpse has to be before an Other can turn it into a wight? We know fire 'kills' them permanently, but would an Other be able to re-animate, say, a skeleton? Because if so, I feel that the people inhabiting Winterfell when the Wall gets breached for reals will be in for an incredibly nasty surprise.
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Aug 19, 2011 13:19
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What about the Viper? Everyone knows he likes to have women and men in his bed. I haven't seen the TV show, but as it's HBO I'm sure there will be lots of people gaying it up.
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Aug 22, 2011 14:10
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Hedrigall posted:Stuff about Loras and Renly I am pretty sure that Renly's Rainbow Guard had something more to do with the fact that the rainbow is an important religious / cultural symbol in Westeros than our modern use of it for the GLBT movement. Just sayin'. The rest of it is spot-on, though.
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Aug 23, 2011 05:54
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I must say that the treatment of Loras' homosexuality in the book is pretty progressive. He's the greatest knight in the kingdom, kicks all kinds of rear end on the field,is one of the bodyguard of the King, and doesn't really mince around. He's a strong knight who happens to love Renly's lance. That whole Knight of Flowers thing even makes sense, as he's from Highgarden.Lid posted:Also don't believe Ramsay's letter at all, or that he even sent it - the letter constantly refers to Jon as "bastard" but from Theon's chapters it is apparent Ramsay, being a psychopath, hates references to Snow or bastards as it reminds him of his own low-born status. Even referring to Jon as a bastard would send him nuts. I was wondering about this myself. Reminding someone of one's bastard status does not seem Ramsay's style and I'm thinking someone else wrote it. Not Roose. Roose is far too chill for something like that.
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Aug 23, 2011 13:40
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So, um, do we have any idea of what's happening with Rickon? I don't particularly care, but it's been like three books and there's been no mention at all. I mean, what is he doing? Running around with Shaggydog trying to find Nymeria?
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Aug 24, 2011 13:46
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I'm wondering why anyone is paying attention to prophecies because prophecies are hideously unreliable and prone to misinterpretation. Also, it's transparently obvious that Shireen will be the only one who survives the imminent massacre at Castle Black and the horrors that will ensue when the Wall falls to the Others, because she's already dead. She will travel across Westeros, bringing the taint of greyscale wherever she goes until the world is covered with groaning horrors with stony limbs.
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Aug 31, 2011 02:20
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Junkenstein posted:It really doesn't sound like he's dead at all. Well no, he's just resting.
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Aug 31, 2011 13:41
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Martin Van Buren posted:Ahem its kinda obvious that Quaithe is Dany from the future, just as Jaqen H'gar is Arya from the future and Yezzan zo Qaggaz is grrm sent through an interdimensional rift. What the gently caress are you talking about, Illyrio is clearly Gurm. Illyrio will be riding Hodor. ALL NIGHT LONG. HODOR HODOR HODOR HOOOOOOODOORRRRRRRRRRR *splut*
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Sep 2, 2011 01:37
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bigmcgaffney posted:The only things he like more than football is pizza and sweaty sex at conventions, while eating pizza. Who on Earth would be desperate enough to have sex with gurm?
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Sep 9, 2011 03:03
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Azure_Horizon posted:Considering Martin's world is incredibly patriarchal and women are often put in positions where they have little to no agency, an abundance of sexual violence against men would make no sense. They're never in a position where that's possible. Men are tortured in other ways, which levels the playing field and erases whatever possible misogyny the books are trying to project. Except numerous male side characters get raped. Whoresbane committed sexual violence against male whores, one of the Golden Company makes reference to new recruits being forced to fellate veteran members (heh) of the band, and Victarion recalls the ship's septon being 'used as a woman' by other sailors.
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Sep 15, 2011 03:34
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builds character posted:So... Do we talk about delicate citrus pastries next and then how Ned would beat John in a fight but Kahl Drogo would own both of them at once or does it go rape, food, rape, swords? I think a serious discussion of the merits of lemon cake as opposed to key lime pie is in order.
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Sep 15, 2011 14:27
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Scrubber posted:Well, the Meerreenneesee Knot™ was in part that he couldn't decide what order to have people reach Dany in. The most annoying part of this, for me, is that all these characters happily assume that Dany will do whatever the hell it is they want without question. I man, she's got three goddamned dragons as is therefore probably the strongest force in the world we know of at the moment. Why would she just go "OK, I'll marry Victarion and wuv him forever and ever!"?
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Sep 20, 2011 12:34
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Rustybear posted:Also hastily shoehorned jon+dany ice n' fire targ romance puts jon and arya in direct conflict. Books end with the every major house broken and at each others throats. Hmmm. A Golden Witchbreed - Ancient Light sort of ending would be interesting.
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Sep 21, 2011 04:10
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I don't know, I read all that as she slipped some coin associated with the Faceless Men into his coin-purse and when he saw it he had a heart attack from sheer terror or something.Quantify! posted:"I must needs don my floppy ears to listen to the pleas of my people." "I am but a young girl", Dany mused aloud, "but it seems to me that the
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Sep 28, 2011 03:20
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NoneSuch posted:The real question is was Satin Jons buttboy? Satin is the unofficial catamite for everyone at Castle Black. After Moletown gets deserted the female whores are no longer available, so it falls to Satin to take up the slack. The reason everyone always refers to him as a whore in a derogatory fashion is because they hope they will draw attention away from the fact that they too hosed Satin up the butt.
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Oct 3, 2011 13:04
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ZearothK posted:She just needed a cat now that the Frey had taken her Cat. This is beautiful.
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Nov 9, 2011 05:43
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Aurubin posted:While this has been beaten to death in previous pages, GRRM really wrote himself into a corner with Slaver's Bay. To me, it's more a question of ethics than anything else. Dany freed the slaves of Astapor, Yunaki, and Meereen, but not the rest of the area. If she leaves, they'll all be re-enslaved. If she doesn't, well, there goes the plot. How can she justify leaving? Compassion would dictate her abandoning Westeros. The old woman that Jorah and Tyrion spoke with in Volantis remarked how willing the slaves are to revolt, and the Rhllor priesthood are already proclaiming her messianic properties. Whatever my origins, I'd rather have my legacy be the one who smashed the slave trade than a returned exile. I think Dany would be best off leaving someone behind to run things while she's gone. I'm not sure who she could leave behind (although Tyrion does, of course, come to mind) but whoever she left would have to be strong enough to make the people of Slaver's Bay to bow to her / his will as Daenerys' proxy. Of course, if she put the fear of God into the people of Yunkai / Astapor / Meereen with a well-placed display of dragonfire things might change. Killing the nobility in Meereen would probably help with the whole nightly murder problem, but the Bloated One clearly doesn't want her doing anything terribly sensible. Perhaps she could load a few of those refugees onto a dragon and have them lean over the side while making GBS threads their guts out with the bloody flux or white mare or whatever it's called over Yunkai and Astapor. It would probably decimate the population enough to make ruling them slightly easier.
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Nov 29, 2011 05:09
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The Bloated One will never be done. Question: who's the more obvious write-in, Magister Illyrio of Pentos or Fat Lord Manderly? I'm conflicted. On the one side, a disgusting, plotting, womanizing blob of flesh. On the other, Frey pies. Hmmm.
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Dec 21, 2012 01:42
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savinhill posted:Doran Martell is definitely a gurmacter, what with being grotesquely bloated to the point of immobility, having everyone that follows him bitching about how he hasn't done anything in years, having two of his planned, years in the making masterstrokes in a row both fail miserably, and the whole creepily peeping on underage kids frolicking about half-naked while he gorges on and obsesses about his favorite food. Seven preserve us, you're right!
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Dec 21, 2012 19:54
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Joramun posted:Dany is the Westerosi Virgin Mary and Rhaego was its Jesus — their sins were so grave, he died for them before he was even born. "He had been dead for years". He died for their sins years before his conception. drat, that's one committed saviour.
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Dec 24, 2012 14:06
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deoju posted:Edit: FWIW, I don't really think the A Skagossi are cannibals, just more like Wildlings than other Northerners. I bet stories of cannibalism started after a few cases in a particularly bad winter and they are happy to let people believe it since it keeps them away. Also I bet the stories of unicorns are really narwhals, just like real history. No, the unicorns are real but more in line with proper mythological unicorns - someone has a wolf dream in which Shaggydog is fighting a goat-like creature with one horn. They're not horses with spirally horns but more like the 'traditional' creature with the body of a deer, tail of a lion, beard like a goat's etc etc.
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Feb 6, 2017 06:00
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I always thought the poo poo-weasels were a brilliant idea, considering that I know a lot of people who treat King as bathroom reading.
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Feb 23, 2017 18:39
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I'd rather reread A Dance With Dragons than the Perrin and Faile side-plot in The Wheel of Time.
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Mar 11, 2017 03:03
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I don't think that Feast is all that awful, we do get to see Cersei's Continuous Mistake, after all.
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Mar 12, 2017 00:03
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I can say with complete honesty that it's probably my favourite part of the entire series.
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Mar 12, 2017 01:05
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I will say that I'm incredibly disappointed that the show didn't have Fat Lord Manderley. I desperately wanted to see him serving Frey pies at Ramsay Bolton's wedding, dancing, singing the sing about the Rat Cook as he serves the special guests big steaming portions of nice juicy meat pies, while somehow nobody loving connects the dots, it would have been glorious.
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Mar 12, 2017 16:31
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SaviourX posted:The actors or the viewers? The guests at the wedding who see Fat Lord Manderley bring in three suspiciously large meat pies after it's noted that three Freys are missing, while he commands the musicians to play the song about the Rat Cook which is explicitly about cannibalism, but just don't make the connection.
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Mar 13, 2017 03:52
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Sephyr posted:Thinking back, a lot of the conflict, particularly involving the Starks, feels cheap and forced, while, say, Littlefinger, the Boltons and Euron just have cheat codes enabled. Had it been a Stark to sound a magical horn and tell his bannermen he was bringing dragons into the fight, they'd likely have boiled him alive as a sorcerer. But the tradition-bound reavers will make their guy king over dragons no one has seen (Guess it's the medieval version of campaign talk. "We'll build an ice wall and make the wildness pay for it!") despite him being an exiled loon, just so there can be a new threat to keep the Tyrells from taking charge. The answer to this is that the Ironmen are whiny, stupid dipshits.
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Apr 6, 2017 16:21
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IRQ posted:Who in this series isn't really? Varys, Maester Aemon, and literally no-one else.
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Apr 6, 2017 22:57
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Cavelcade posted:Nymeria is a wolf who goes around eating Freys cause she don't give a gently caress. The Freys are cursed in the eyes of Gods and men. I honestly think the biggest disappointment of the TV show is the total lack of Frey pies. I can handle the watering-down of Cersei's Continuous Mistake and Ramsay Bolton, but the Frey pies were glorious.
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Apr 7, 2017 15:00
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TK-42-1 posted:Did you miss the scene where Arya killed Walder while he was eating his kids? How could I be satisfied with that when we could have had Fat Lord Manderley singing the song about the Rat Cook, dancing around Winterfell's great hall and serving Frey pies to the gathered Boltons and Freys at Ramsay Bolton's wedding to the faux-Arya? Christ, they even could have got the Bloated One to play him.
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Apr 8, 2017 03:08
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Fhate posted:Pretty much. But but but the sun rose in the west and set in the east!
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Jul 14, 2017 03:24
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Feels Villeneuve posted:The fact that there's any reference to wildfire under the sept at all in the books makes it very suspicious. Not even in connection with Mad King Aerys' plot to blow up the city during the rebellion? A Literal Crazy Person posted:"The traitors want my city, but I’ll give them naught but ashes. Let Robert be king over charred bones and cooked meat."
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Jul 14, 2017 18:00
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Feels Villeneuve posted:Cersei becoming the next Aerys does seem like something she could do long-term. Especially given how she reacted to burning down the Tower of the Hand. The wildfire explosion of the Tower of the Hand set off a wildfire explosion in her pants.
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Jul 15, 2017 04:42
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emanresu tnuocca posted:The only connection is that the Light Bringer is a weapon forged to fight the others and as we've learned from the show it would seem that Valyrian steel very much fits the bill. We also know for a fact that Valyrians were super into human sacrifice. Tobho Mott fails to forge valyrian steel cause he doesn't try to quench with a human heart, etc. If this were the case then Longclaw would have already started glowing during any encounter with the Others, and I don't believe it has? Good Lord, there are some insane theories about Longclaw on the Internet. Of course, there are some insane theories about literally everything pertaining to these books.
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Jul 22, 2017 14:32
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Arcsquad12 posted:I wonder what happens when an Iron Bank client defaults on a loan? It seems like everyone in the show is just borrowing freely from them with a few choice words. The bank's gotta have their own doomsday weapon or something, tucked away to punish late payments, or else the show is just making Mycroft look like an idiot for constantly backing the wrong horse. If you default on a loan with the Iron Bank then they bankroll your enemies so they can take you out, I believe.
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Aug 3, 2017 03:54
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Are we supposed to feel sorry for those terrible Dornish ladies Euron captured? Like poo poo, they murdered Myrcella in cold blood, this is a barbaric society and I felt these were reasonable consequences considering the people we're dealing with here. I mean, Dorne is, was, and will always be bullshit, Ellaria was loathsome and I'm almost glad she got a comeuppance. I was expecting another horrible rape by Ser Robert Strong and was pleasantly surprised. Cersei has always been one of my favourite characters and it's nice to still enjoy her scenes even if she never properly had her Continuous Mistake.
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Aug 3, 2017 22:43
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Why the gently caress did that wagon train have a ballista with them?
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Aug 10, 2017 02:38
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I just had so much trouble believing that one person could load it and aim it with actual success in hitting a fast-moving, distant airborne target that no-one in living memory had ever tried to shoot at before. I can believe that people might have tried using ballistae against dragons during the Targaryen civil war, but I don't think you'd have a very good success rate. They're not Discworld characters in 'Guards! Guards!', one-in-a-million chances don't pop up nine times out of ten. Edit: I will say that the Lannister army showed astounding discipline in their ranks when an actual dragon shows up and starts breathing napalm at them. Is my D&D nerd showing if I expect people (and horses) to experience dragonfear? Mad Hamish fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Aug 10, 2017 |
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Aug 10, 2017 03:19
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