flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Nobody is that dumb. That has to be fake. Please be fake.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Nobody is that dumb. That has to be fake. Please be fake.

Pick posted:

I don't care if she could pay for it or not, "gimme" money from your predecessors is not something any person has an obligation to touch if they don't want to.

boner confessor posted:

can you blame her? the existence of her money has made complete internet strangers pop a cork about her holding out based on a reddit post. money ruins relationships

Tom Gorman posted:

I can't defend or attack either side in this story. The guy is a garbage man for feeling like he's entitled to something that isn't his, and more than likely she's either oblivious to what he's going through or doesn't want to spend resources on something she has reservations about. Money is a great thing for relationships if the two people can communicate like intelligent humans and use it to carve out a place in the world and be happy.

boner confessor posted:

all i'm saying is that it's silly to assume she would let herself live in discomfort because of financial paranoia, rather than having a particularly restrictive trust and being bad with money. like apparently she still has her own apartment, which is where the boyfriend snooped? so why not just live there

Tom Gorman posted:

No hot water sure does suck, and it's a little turd that could be easily flushed if one side or the other had the ability to step back, make some different choices and actually communicate. No hot water isn't squalor. Starving and filth is squalor. You can work full time at a McJob walking that tightrope and still end up without hot water. It's not because they're stupid, and not because someone is evil and manipulative. It's not about being okay with having someone suffer to test their mettle. I don't believe anyone thinks there is a nefarious plan in place.

Young people get scared. 24 is young, if you have your poo poo together at 24, round of applause - you are an exception. Some people grow up a lot between 17 and 24. Some people grow up very little. That time can fly by really quickly.

I can't defend or attack either side in this story. The guy is a garbage man for feeling like he's entitled to something that isn't his, and more than likely she's either oblivious to what he's going through or doesn't want to spend resources on something she has reservations about. Money is a great thing for relationships if the two people can communicate like intelligent humans and use it to carve out a place in the world and be happy.

boner confessor posted:

a 22 year old nerd who has met her family after a month of dating?

Tears In A Vial posted:

they been friends for ages

boner confessor posted:

ah, so he got a passport out of the friend zone

quote:

I am trying to think of what to buy my mother for Christmas. She is severely alcohol-dependent. She puts no effort into her appearance anymore and smokes so much that perfumes, beauty products, etc. that most people would buy their mother is just a waste. I also don't have a lot of money so it can't be too expensive. Of course, something that would encourage her to give up alcohol or tobacco would be great but she is so far gone. Basically drinking herself to death now. I have tried to help her but she just becomes very aggressive.
Thanks.

Charles Get-Out posted:

No, not really. More like a day pass.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Poor, poor dumb little idiot boy, run away. Run far away.

Me [22M]with my girlfriend [20F] of 1 month, her "intoxicating" yet unstable ex [22M] wants to hang out with her

Charles Get-Out posted:

Feelgood holiday post

What is a good christmas gift for me [23, F] to buy a severely alcohol-dependent mother[59, F] ?

Pick posted:

The stable guy is what women are told they should look for, a lot of them like the emotional rollercoaster. Except me, because I'm boring

Tom Gorman posted:

This one is easy. Since most of the incoming calories are liquid and any solids are probably heavy in fat and oil, I'd recommend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVlvnCOUqog

quote:

My [22 F] grandpa [77 M] will be alone for the first Christmas ever. How can I make it less lonely?

I've always been super close to my grandfather. He moved in with me and my mother after my grandmother died when I was 10. Since then it's always been me, my mother and my grandfather. So he became sort of my closest male figure, someone I can rely on and someone who'd do anything for me.
Christmas is not a big thing for my family but usually we'd wake up early and the three of us would open presents near the tree. Then we'd go our separate ways until dinner when we'd meet up at my Aunts for a big family dinner. It was always full of family.
But this year I couldn't get time away from work (I live 2 hours away) to come home to visit. So my mom decided to come visit me. We assumed he'd be visiting with my Aunt again, or visiting other family that lives nearby. We just recently found out that my Aunt is travelling across country to visit her daughter and now my grandfather is alone watching my Aunt's cats.
My grandfather doesn't understand technology, and we already plan to call him on Christmas. But it doesn't feel enough and I'm super sad that he will be alone/ that I can't see him. Any ideas?
tl;dr: I live 2 hours away and can't go home. My grandfather is alone on Christmas. What can I do?

Charles Get-Out posted:

Poor, poor dumb little idiot boy, run away. Run far away.

Me [22M]with my girlfriend [20F] of 1 month, her "intoxicating" yet unstable ex [22M] wants to hang out with her

quote:

When I first met my wife, she loved sex. We had sex nearly every day for the first 2-3 years of our relationship.

After marriage and after she started taking some new medication, she has become extremely frigid. Refusing to have sex no matter what I do.

Lately, all we do together is masturbate. She did this begrudgingly until I suggested trying sex toys to spice things up. So, she got a vibrator and started using that. She liked it fine, but she said it was to hard - so she got a big dildo, too.

So basically, instead of having sex I'm masturbating next to my wife who is double-teaming herself with sex toys just to make sure that she gets off.

The other day, I suggested I get a sex toy for myself. Specifically, one of those male masturbators shaped like a woman's behind. So that I can actually feel like I'm having sex and not in some kind of incredibly awkward porn video.

She said she wouldn't like that. I pointed out that she's basically gangbanging herself with sex toys and all I have is my hand. A fight ensues.

I'm really frustrated about this situation. I just want to have sex!

What would you do in this situation? I need some kind of guidance.

Virigoth posted:

I mean, I feel like 4 hours total driving to see your old rear end Grandpa who is your father figure isn't that bad of a drive....

sinking belle posted:

[Sex Toys] Wife uses vibrator and dildo - but doesn't want to have sex and doesn't want me to use a masturbator toy

Khorne posted:

What's the takeaway from this post? Relationships are the worst?

Gaunab posted:

Isn't the issue work not distance?

Khorne posted:

What's the takeaway from this post? Relationships are the worst?

Charles Get-Out posted:

Feelgood holiday post

What is a good christmas gift for me [23, F] to buy a severely alcohol-dependent mother[59, F] ?

sinking belle posted:

[Sex Toys] Wife uses vibrator and dildo - but doesn't want to have sex and doesn't want me to use a masturbator toy

Charles Get-Out posted:

Feelgood holiday post

What is a good christmas gift for me [23, F] to buy a severely alcohol-dependent mother[59, F] ?

timefly posted:

This could be my mom but she died a couple years ago at 56

monkeytennis posted:

So what did you buy her for Xmas?

504 posted:

And here I was thinking the chair derail was stupid pointless boring poo poo laden garbage.

1. ITS MORE LIKELY THAN NOT A FAKE STORY

2. MORE MORONS/CUCKS/POLYS ITT!

sinking belle posted:

[Sex Toys] Wife uses vibrator and dildo - but doesn't want to have sex and doesn't want me to use a masturbator toy

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Why on gods green earth did we need to know the masturbation toy for him was shaped like an rear end

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Maybe she grew up wealthy and this is her pilgrimage to the other side of the tracks, if you know what I mean. I did it. It was loving awful but I'm glad I did. Taught me to appreciate money and also appreciate owning a mattress.

quote:

Basically I went to a wedding of my boyfriend's oldest friend from school and got uninvited from the wedding breakfast as it was starting. My boyfriend stayed at the wedding.

EDIT: For some reason my first post was deleted, for convenience here are screenies so you can read what was there.
http://imgur.com/a/bF4HN

I hadn't expected the big reaction to my first post, and just want to say thank you to everyone who gave advice and was supportive. I was feeling super lovely when I initially posted, and after an hour of drinking wine and reading your comments I felt a lot more sane and calm. I wanted to clarify a few things that people were confused about or that weren't clear in my first post:

I'm in the UK, and our weddings are different to the way weddings are held in the US. Traditionally, there is a ceremony, the wedding "breakfast" which is a sit down three course meal (although it's called breakfast it is usually in the afternoon), followed by speeches, and then an evening reception which is like a disco. It's not uncommon for people to invite only relatives and close friends to the ceremony and breakfast, then invite lots of evening guests for the reception. However it is uncommon to invite somebody to the ceremony and reception, but not the breakfast, as then they are kind of left to entertain themselves somewhere for 6 hours. Having talked to friends and coworkers since last weekend, what happened to me was a serious no-no in terms of etiquette.
Me and Eric have been together for nearly a year and a half, we live together, and we have a pretty strong relationship. He had no past romantic connections with the bride (I'll call her Marie), which some people were asking about - they went to school together from the age of 4-10, and remained in touch as penpals/facebook friends since then. They rarely see each other in person and the wedding was the first time he would see her in about 2 years.
There was zero phone signal at the venue, we noticed this when we arrived for the ceremony and were a little annoyed as the wedding had a hashtag which we couldn't exactly tweet about with no signal. This is important later.
We didn't know this until we arrived at the wedding, but the Maid of Honour, Helen, was Eric's ex girlfriend. They were together for 3 years, and she cheated on him and dumped him. They have a lot of bad blood and do not have any contact with each other.

Okay, so on to the update.

After leaving the ceremony I got straight on the train and went back to my hometown (I was on the train when I wrote my first post). When I got home, I told my parents everything and they weren't particularly impressed, and like most of the posters here they were perplexed that Eric hadn't come with me. My mum gave me a big hug, ran me a bath and poured me a glass of wine, and I just tried to relax and forget about my day from hell. I still hadn't heard from Eric, but texted him to let him know I was home safe and would see him tomorrow. Eric texted me back at about 9pm, asking me what I meant by home (home or the air bnb that we had booked nearby to the venue). I clarified, and he said "okay, I'll see you tomorrow. love you so much x". Didn't really know what to make of it since the whole day had just been such a massive gently caress up, so I finished my wine, watched a disney movie and went to bed.

The next morning, given I still hadn't really heard from Eric at all I assumed he would be getting in at about midday, so I got up early and started wrapping Christmas presents. At 8am, I heard a key in the door and whaddayaknow it's Eric, still in his creased suit, with red eyes and looking like death. He wasn't really making sense so I made him have a shower and warm up, made coffee and decided to talk once he was looking human again. We sat down together and pieced together his side of the story.

Basically, once I had left Eric was absolutely livid with Marie. He had frozen like a deer in headlights when she was asking me to go, and was kicking himself that he hadn't done the right thing. About ten minutes after I left, Marie turned around and said "oh, actually, a few people haven't turned up. Get Vicky to come back, we have space for her now!" and Eric had tried to call me. Because there was no phone signal anywhere near the venue, he couldn't get through, and Marie pretty much immediately said "oh well never mind, she didn't want to be here anyway!" (which obviously was a pile of crap) and made Eric feel rubbish.

The meal was a very formal, sit down affair so he just kind of grinned and beared it, assuming I would be coming back in the evening. Eric was the only person mentioned in the speeches (by Marie's father) who wasn't a family member, and apparently it was clear to everyone how disappointed he was that I wasn't there to share it with him. When I texted him at about 6pm to let him know I was going home, he never received it - he was only able to text me at 9pm by hiking down the road for 5 minutes to find a signal. All the while his ex Helen was being sickly sweet, asking where I was, why didn't I want to come and enjoy the party, was I shy? Apparently with quite the evil glint in her eye like she had got exactly what she'd wanted. Neither of us knew she was the MOH until we got there, and given their bad relationship Eric was pretty pissed off that Marie had failed to mention she had such a prominent role in the wedding. Whether Helen was behind the seating error, I don't know, but if she was then Marie was just as bad in enabling it to happen.

So Eric stayed at the wedding, miserably, and went back to the air bnb afterwards alone. He barely slept, feeling angry at Marie and Helen for loving with us and at himself for not sticking up for me, and left at 4.30am to get the first train home - hence why he was back at our place so early. He wasn't really apologetic to me at all, he didn't really seem to see how it was lovely for me. He more felt like he had been insulted by the situation and let down by his oldest friend. He is cutting off Marie and doesn't want anything else to do with her.

So... yeah. That was Eric's take on the whole thing. To be honest I was pretty pissed that in all of this, he hadn't really considered how I felt, or what it had been like for me getting thrown out of the wedding. While what he had gone through was pretty crummy, he at least had been warm, dry, and well fed - the indignation of your girlfriend being removed from an event you're at isn't really as bad as being the girlfriend, getting soaked in the rain, feeling humiliated and all the rest.

So, we talked, and I laid out why I wasn't okay with what had happened and why his reaction wasn't okay. He can be a bit of a lemon sometimes and this feels like one of those times, he didn't step up to the plate, he just let the world wash over him and acted as a bystander. I'm still hurt by his actions and he still hasn't really apologised properly. I don't know if he understands that he did wrong too. But this isn't a dealbreaker for me. It's a heavy straw on the camel's back, but the camel is still standing.

We have a really lovely Christmas coming up, and after a really long autumn of working hard all I want is to go back to the happy place we were before this gently caress up, and honestly I don't want to think about it. So, I know a lot of you guys are going to drag me over hot coals for this one, but we're still together. I'm not going to break up with him over this, but it's a big dark mark on his record. As far as I'm concerned he needs to get a lot of extra credit to get a "pass" this year (to use a terrible analogy) and I expect him to step up and really try to do better from now on. It's not really an ultimatum, but I'm willing to put this behind us if he can prove to me that he's invested and trying harder in this relationship from now on. If he doesn't, then I won't be sticking around. I love him a lot but he needs to have my back, and be empathetic to what I'm going through. I'm sorry that this wasn't the victorious break up update so many of you wanted, but I want a nice happy Christmas together. I'm not ruling it out as an option if things don't improve. But I want to give him another chance to prove this relationship is worth it.

TLDR; Eric came home the next day, we talked, we're still together.

quote:

I[34F] just found out that my husband[37M] has been catfishing people online

We've been married 7 years now, together for a total of 10. My husband and I are generally pretty open with our phones, because of this, I'll often use his to look something up when mines is in the other room or dead, and vice versa.

Today, I took his phone with me when I went to the bathroom to browse reddit. While I was using it, I got a notification from Tinder telling me to "start swiping again". My heart loving stopped and I instantly felt super sick-I thought he was cheating on me, so obviously I started snooping.

When I opened up his Tinder account though, it a picture of a much younger guy that is definitely not my husband, with an entirely different name, and profile. I read through some of the conversations, and saw that he had been talking to girls, but as "Brad" and had messages asking them for their numbers. I looked through his texts then, and found convos he had with some of the girls. It looked like he would pose as "Brad" and then ask them out somewhere only to never show up...a lot of the messages he got from the girls seemed confused.

When I confronted him about it later, he admitted that he had been catfishing people on Tinder for fun. He even showed me the other account he had on it(where he poses as a girl to catfish men), and the angry and "hilarious" texts he got from people that were upset.

It was honestly so strange, he seemed to show no remorse and bragged about it, and was surprised I didn't find it as funny as he did. He even showed me texts and pointed out things like "I convinced this guy to drive 60 miles to meet up with me" and "I got this guy to spend money on concert tickets for us and never showed up", or how he convinced some girl to wait for him for 2 hours at a restaurant.

I'm honestly just super shocked. I really don't know what to make of it. I told him I wanted him to stop for now, but I'm having trouble processing it and what to say to him Reddit.

tl;dr: Found out husband has 2 tinder accounts that he uses to catfish people online, dont know how to react

boner confessor posted:

wow you are super jealous of rich people lol

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted: