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Subjunctive posted:Also, if you can empty a wine glass in one gulp then either you're the oral Kirk Johnson or there wasn't much in it. Look at this babby who's never downed a gallon of wine in a sitting.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:06
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:Just put your hand down your plants and plug it up. Don't want your boss thinking you're disgusting. Boss: What are you doing?! WampaLord: Well if you know of a better way to stop yourself from farting I'd love to hear it!
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Jan 24, 2017 22:08
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I occasionally can't control farts, or rather, it's painful to control them, but this is not a normal occurrence nor should it be for anyone. If holding in a fart on the reg causes physical pain you should see a doctor. Also yeah, butt cancer and other butt related issues can cause you to lose control of yourself back there.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:10
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Just a perpetually relaxed anus, the only warning you get is an ever so soft "haaaaawwhhh" sound that signals its time to vacate the area that Wampalord has farted in
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Jan 24, 2017 22:11
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MF_James posted:I occasionally can't control farts, or rather, it's painful to control them, but this is not a normal occurrence nor should it be for anyone. If holding in a fart on the reg causes physical pain you should see a doctor. The gas has to get out sometime
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Jan 24, 2017 22:12
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:Just put your hand down your plants and plug it up. Don't want your boss thinking you're disgusting. It sounds like it's time to invest in a Discretion Plug, the executive's choice for flatulence prevention. Make sure you get the model with the replaceable charcoal inserts for maximum odor stoppage.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:22
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I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time.quote:My girlfriend is Bi, and we have been dating for 2 years now. Her ex husband is dead. He died of a overdose. She had two children with him a daughter who's 4 and a son who's 3. Her son has been having these really bad nightmares lately. He normally wakes up panting from them. He keeps talking about the man in the woods chasing him.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:26
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WampaLord posted:I'm blown away. Turns out I'm defective and everyone else is just rude. Some people sneeze when they look directly up at the sun. Involuntary reflex. People are loving weird. I can't reliably stop a sneeze, mostly just minimize it. It feels way more satisfying to just go whole hog with the sneeze, though. All of these fart wizards are just talking about holding in your doom gas until there's nobody around. If you can't do that on a semi-regular basis, then I guess that's a little weird. Gaunab posted:Cheater griping about ex girlfriend with nightmares sleeping with beefcake roommate The girl with the terrible nightmares wasn't necessarily loving anyone. It's just, when you need to sleep and feeling safe and secure is the only thing that will let you do that, snuggling with Brick Meatface probably soothes some anxiety and keeps the bad dreams away. From the description of "crawling into bed with" I assume that means she'd have a nightmare and then go cuddle with Manslab Hardabs. Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Jan 24, 2017 |
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Jan 24, 2017 22:28
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time. get a larger bed if the kid's gonna be sleeping there also how do you forget a kid is there? maybe he rolls over when he is sleeping?
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Jan 24, 2017 22:33
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time. A. After the second time why didn't he sleep on Mommy's other side? B. This is where fetishes start. Demon Of The Fall posted:also how do you forget a kid is there? The same way you steal all the loving blankets without waking up. Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 24, 2017 |
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Jan 24, 2017 22:35
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time. There's so much unnecessary information in such a short post.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:36
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Cat Army
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quote:I (21/f) am frustrated with my boyfriend's (23/m) unwillingness to compromise when it comes to his hobbyRelationships Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol
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Jan 24, 2017 22:39
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Ouhei posted:There's so much unnecessary information in such a short post. You thinkin slenderman fanfiction part 1? Cuz I'm thinkin slenderman fanfiction part 1.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:39
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Mum bi, dad dead, kid troubled, gf steamroller. Got it.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:40
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Pvt.Scott posted:Look at this babby who's never downed a gallon of wine in a sitting. That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful unless you're pouring it down your throat without swallowing. In which case, check your DMs.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:40
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Subjunctive posted:That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful
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Jan 24, 2017 22:46
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Subjunctive posted:That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful unless you're pouring it down your throat without swallowing. In which case, check your DMs. Yeah, I can definitely fit a glass of wine in my mouth and one-gulp it. You just gotta relax the throat. This is not the recommended method of wine consumption! Demon Of The Fall posted:also how do you forget a kid is there? maybe he rolls over when he is sleeping? I sleep like a gator eats. Don't worry, the video is cute. It involves a baby death swamp lizard and a hot dog.  Yawgmoth posted:Pvt. Scott is a pelican IRL. 
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Jan 24, 2017 22:49
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La Brea Carpet posted:Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol Tell him that as long as he's buying figures instead of paying rent, anything he buys belongs to the parents to do with what they please. I hope they have a dog.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:50
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La Brea Carpet posted:Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol The people who collect funko pops to begin with are bizarre and weird, non poseable figures all done in the same style and made out of the cheapest poo poo imaginable, for way too much money? Dumb. I cannot imagine having 500 of them and getting so defensive about getting rid of any that it could potentially destroy a relationship. At least the Beanie Babies people were operating on the delusion that their obsessive collecting was going to send their kids to college
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Jan 24, 2017 22:51
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Beachcomber posted:The same way you steal all the loving blankets without waking up. The way you typed this, it sounds like Demon has done it to you every night.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:52
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Well I guess I would have something to say to this friend. But I am always torn about cheating when in a committed relationship. I've always said to current and past partners that if you want to sleep with someone else, let's talk about it first - and, surprise, it has come up. With no other information, you can only speculate that she was enjoying the flirtation (who doesn't), and possibly missing that in her committed relationship. Surprise, every time I've had that conversation with a partner, it is because through circumstance, work or laziness we've settled into humdrum ritual conversations/activities even if the sex is regular, and stopped dating, sexting/flirting, and doing special stuff together. I am in a four years-and-counting committed relationship and my girlfriend and I still flirt constantly over text and snapchat, dress up and go on a date a couple times a month (we live together) and surprise each other with little gifts and whatnot. I guess don't be surprised if people seek out the thrill of being courted if you're too lazy to make them feel special. Again, speculation but it is so loving common for both genders.
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Jan 24, 2017 22:52
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Beachcomber posted:Tell him that as long as he's buying figures instead of paying rent, anything he buys belongs to the parents to do with what they please. I hope they have a dog. Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:01
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Pvt.Scott posted:Yeah, I can definitely fit a glass of wine in my mouth and one-gulp it. You just gotta relax the throat. This is not the recommended method of wine consumption! This is probably the sort of thing I'd have learned if I'd gone to college.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:05
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La Brea Carpet posted:Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you. Better than 10 grand worth of half naked conspicuously young looking anime figures
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Jan 24, 2017 23:07
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La Brea Carpet posted:Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you. hello new fetish
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Jan 24, 2017 23:16
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A couple figurines is fine, even for an adult. I hate Funkopop, but yeah I could even tolerate a couple of those. 500 is not.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:17
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source: someone who doesn't have any figurines, unless you count the one of Auron in her parents' attic because she couldn't bear to part with her tragic highschool love for the ghost man with a sword and sad backstory
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Jan 24, 2017 23:18
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I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool. If dude's gonna torpedo his relationship over figures, they should be hyper detailed super sweet stuff at least. Like those samurai Star Wars things.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:23
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I forget who it was that described Funko Pops as Precious Moments dolls for nerds, but they are the most correct person.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:36
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One of my exes had the upstairs floor of a townhouse to himself and the long wall was covered in shelves stacked high with comics, figurines, and other childhood toys. I thought it was kind of cute at first but things turned south when I realized that he was often steering our dates to a playground (in the dark) and throwing fits if I paid attention to my friends in group settings. There were other things, I mean YIKES other things, but a 26-year-old man with a roomful of toys isn't going to be good long-term dating material.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:39
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Pvt.Scott posted:Some people sneeze when they look directly up at the sun. Involuntary reflex. People are loving weird. huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only kind of have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:40
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only half-have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight. im pretty sure this is how you know you're at least 1/16 vampire
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Jan 24, 2017 23:41
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artichoke posted:One of my exes had the upstairs floor of a townhouse to himself and the long wall was covered in shelves stacked high with comics, figurines, and other childhood toys. I thought it was kind of cute at first but things turned south when I realized that he was often steering our dates to a playground (in the dark) and throwing fits if I paid attention to my friends in group settings. There were other things, I mean YIKES other things, but a 26-year-old man with a roomful of toys isn't going to be good long-term dating material. There's a really good Metal Gear Solid fancomic about this. (  )
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Jan 24, 2017 23:41
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54 40 or gently caress posted:Better than 10 grand worth of half naked conspicuously young looking anime figures That's like four or five anime figures, tops.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:42
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool. "My wife made me get rid of my exhaustive collection of gundam FX Figurines and Master Grade models I built myself" might be a good reason to ruin a relationship, (I mean, if you were going to ruin a relationship over dumb plastic toys, at least make it a hugely expensive, rare and time consuming collection) but jesus, they literally give these things away with preorders and random poo poo boxes
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Jan 24, 2017 23:43
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La Brea Carpet posted:Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas are forced to watch
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Jan 24, 2017 23:43
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Pick posted:There's a really good Metal Gear Solid fancomic about this. ( haha what the gently caress
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Jan 24, 2017 23:44
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool. Yeah, I haven't bought any of them because they're kind of meh looking to me, but they're coming out with Tom Servo and Crow ones, so I'll probably buy those two since there's almost zero MST3K merchandise out there. Though I am glad my wife puts up with my Amiibo habit.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:46
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only kind of have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight. I wouldn't say it's un-normal. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex E: my brother looks at the sun and sneezes three times. 
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Jan 24, 2017 23:48
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TVs Ian posted:Yeah, I haven't bought any of them because they're kind of meh looking to me, but they're coming out with Tom Servo and Crow ones, so I'll probably buy those two since there's almost zero MST3K merchandise out there. Amiibos are OK at least because they have a functional purpose and they're relatively compact. Funkopops are pretty gigantic for deskbuddy toys and you can't do anything with them. They're the collectible plates of the figure world.
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Jan 24, 2017 23:51
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