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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Subjunctive posted:

Also, if you can empty a wine glass in one gulp then either you're the oral Kirk Johnson or there wasn't much in it.

Look at this babby who's never downed a gallon of wine in a sitting.

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Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Just put your hand down your plants and plug it up. Don't want your boss thinking you're disgusting.

Boss: What are you doing?!

WampaLord: Well if you know of a better way to stop yourself from farting I'd love to hear it!

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

I occasionally can't control farts, or rather, it's painful to control them, but this is not a normal occurrence nor should it be for anyone. If holding in a fart on the reg causes physical pain you should see a doctor.

Also yeah, butt cancer and other butt related issues can cause you to lose control of yourself back there.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
Just a perpetually relaxed anus, the only warning you get is an ever so soft "haaaaawwhhh" sound that signals its time to vacate the area that Wampalord has farted in

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord

MF_James posted:

I occasionally can't control farts, or rather, it's painful to control them, but this is not a normal occurrence nor should it be for anyone. If holding in a fart on the reg causes physical pain you should see a doctor.

Also yeah, butt cancer and other butt related issues can cause you to lose control of yourself back there.

The gas has to get out sometime

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Just put your hand down your plants and plug it up. Don't want your boss thinking you're disgusting.

It sounds like it's time to invest in a Discretion Plug, the executive's choice for flatulence prevention. Make sure you get the model with the replaceable charcoal inserts for maximum odor stoppage.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007

:slick: :slick: :slick: :slick:
I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time.

quote:

My girlfriend is Bi, and we have been dating for 2 years now. Her ex husband is dead. He died of a overdose. She had two children with him a daughter who's 4 and a son who's 3. Her son has been having these really bad nightmares lately. He normally wakes up panting from them. He keeps talking about the man in the woods chasing him.

He's talking to someone about them and they think it has a deeper meaning of something. They did say the dreams can be very distressing so to let him come into the bed when he feels like it. He crawls into our bed. I keep rolling over on top of him because I forget him

tl;dr: need tips on remembering girlfriends son.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

WampaLord posted:

I'm blown away. Turns out I'm defective and everyone else is just rude.

Some people sneeze when they look directly up at the sun. Involuntary reflex. People are loving weird. I can't reliably stop a sneeze, mostly just minimize it. It feels way more satisfying to just go whole hog with the sneeze, though. All of these fart wizards are just talking about holding in your doom gas until there's nobody around. If you can't do that on a semi-regular basis, then I guess that's a little weird.

Gaunab posted:

Cheater griping about ex girlfriend with nightmares sleeping with beefcake roommate

The girl with the terrible nightmares wasn't necessarily loving anyone. It's just, when you need to sleep and feeling safe and secure is the only thing that will let you do that, snuggling with Brick Meatface probably soothes some anxiety and keeps the bad dreams away.

From the description of "crawling into bed with" I assume that means she'd have a nightmare and then go cuddle with Manslab Hardabs.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Jan 24, 2017

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time.

get a larger bed if the kid's gonna be sleeping there

also how do you forget a kid is there? maybe he rolls over when he is sleeping?

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time.

A. After the second time why didn't he sleep on Mommy's other side?

B. This is where fetishes start.

Demon Of The Fall posted:

also how do you forget a kid is there?

The same way you steal all the loving blankets without waking up.

Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 24, 2017

Ouhei
Oct 23, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [27F] need tips on remembering my girlfriend [26F] kid [3M]. He sleeps in her bed when he has nightmares. I always roll over on-top of him all the time.

There's so much unnecessary information in such a short post.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

quote:

I (21/f) am frustrated with my boyfriend's (23/m) unwillingness to compromise when it comes to his hobbyRelationships

I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 23. We've been dating for 2 years, but were friends long before that. We live with my parents at the moment, as I've been completing cosmetology school the past year and my boyfriend is just getting started in his career. My dad recently got a new job out of state. My boyfriend and I have decided to move along with my parents, as where they're moving has better career opportunities for both of us.

Everything is great in our relationship for the most part. He's been my best friend for years, and dating hasn't changed that. There's really one major issue in our relationship: his collecting hobby.

Long story short, my boyfriend and I are both pretty big nerds. We became friends initially over our love of comic books. Both of us collect these figures called Funko Pop figures, but my boyfriend takes it to the next level. As in, until a few days ago, his room was covered from floor to ceiling in these things. He easily has managed to amass around 500, maybe even more, in the time he's lived with my family. I've always thought he was excessive about it, but when it comes to these figures, my boyfriend has blinders on. Whenever I've tried to talk to him about curbing his collecting, he gets extremely defensive and completely shuts me down. His usual go-to defense is that it's no different from me buying makeup, but I don't see how it's the same thing when a good portion of my bedroom isn't covered in the makeup I own. Now that we're moving, I feel like it's time for him to put a hold on collecting these figures, yet I just don't see him taking the hint and stopping any time soon, especially when new ones are coming out all the time. To add to my frustration, my parents are signing paperwork to put the house up for sale this weekend, and have asked him to put most of his figures away so the real estate agent can show the room, so we've spent the last two nights packing them up and still haven't finished!

I'm feeling extremely frustrated right now. The last time I tried to broach the subject about my boyfriend cutting back for the time being, it actually started an argument, so I just dropped it altogether. While we were working last night, I suggested maybe we toss the boxes for the figures that aren't rare ones, just so we have less boxes to pack and store, and he got defensive yet again. I genuinely am not bothered by my boyfriend's hobby, just fed up with his inability to meet me halfway about it. But like I said, every time I try to bring it up, he gets defensive. If anyone has any suggestions on how I could maybe approach the subject a different way, or word it in a way that'll be less... defensive or whatever, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!

tl;dr: Boyfriend's figurine collecting hobby is getting out of control. We're in the process of moving and he doesn't seem to be cutting back any time soon, yet now isn't a great time for him to increase his collection. Any time I try to bring this up, he gets defensive. How do I talk to him about this in a way that won't make him upset?

Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Ouhei posted:

There's so much unnecessary information in such a short post.

You thinkin slenderman fanfiction part 1? Cuz I'm thinkin slenderman fanfiction part 1.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Mum bi, dad dead, kid troubled, gf steamroller.

Got it.

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Pvt.Scott posted:

Look at this babby who's never downed a gallon of wine in a sitting.

That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful unless you're pouring it down your throat without swallowing. In which case, check your DMs.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Subjunctive posted:

That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful
Pvt. Scott is a pelican IRL.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Subjunctive posted:

That's more than one gulp! A gulp is bound by the size of a mouthful unless you're pouring it down your throat without swallowing. In which case, check your DMs.

Yeah, I can definitely fit a glass of wine in my mouth and one-gulp it. You just gotta relax the throat. This is not the recommended method of wine consumption!

Demon Of The Fall posted:

also how do you forget a kid is there? maybe he rolls over when he is sleeping?

I sleep like a gator eats.

Don't worry, the video is cute. It involves a baby death swamp lizard and a hot dog. :3:

Yawgmoth posted:

Pvt. Scott is a pelican IRL.

:yeah:

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

La Brea Carpet posted:

Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol

Tell him that as long as he's buying figures instead of paying rent, anything he buys belongs to the parents to do with what they please. I hope they have a dog.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

Thought this was going to be about video games, but instead lol

The people who collect funko pops to begin with are bizarre and weird, non poseable figures all done in the same style and made out of the cheapest poo poo imaginable, for way too much money? Dumb. I cannot imagine having 500 of them and getting so defensive about getting rid of any that it could potentially destroy a relationship.

At least the Beanie Babies people were operating on the delusion that their obsessive collecting was going to send their kids to college

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Beachcomber posted:

The same way you steal all the loving blankets without waking up.

The way you typed this, it sounds like Demon has done it to you every night.

Huggybear
Jun 17, 2005

I got the jimjams

Well I guess I would have something to say to this friend. But I am always torn about cheating when in a committed relationship. I've always said to current and past partners that if you want to sleep with someone else, let's talk about it first - and, surprise, it has come up. With no other information, you can only speculate that she was enjoying the flirtation (who doesn't), and possibly missing that in her committed relationship. Surprise, every time I've had that conversation with a partner, it is because through circumstance, work or laziness we've settled into humdrum ritual conversations/activities even if the sex is regular, and stopped dating, sexting/flirting, and doing special stuff together. I am in a four years-and-counting committed relationship and my girlfriend and I still flirt constantly over text and snapchat, dress up and go on a date a couple times a month (we live together) and surprise each other with little gifts and whatnot.

I guess don't be surprised if people seek out the thrill of being courted if you're too lazy to make them feel special. Again, speculation but it is so loving common for both genders.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

Beachcomber posted:

Tell him that as long as he's buying figures instead of paying rent, anything he buys belongs to the parents to do with what they please. I hope they have a dog.

Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you.

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Pvt.Scott posted:

Yeah, I can definitely fit a glass of wine in my mouth and one-gulp it. You just gotta relax the throat. This is not the recommended method of wine consumption!

This is probably the sort of thing I'd have learned if I'd gone to college.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

La Brea Carpet posted:

Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you.

Better than 10 grand worth of half naked conspicuously young looking anime figures

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

La Brea Carpet posted:

Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas stare down at you.

hello new fetish

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
A couple figurines is fine, even for an adult. I hate Funkopop, but yeah I could even tolerate a couple of those.

500 is not.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
source: someone who doesn't have any figurines, unless you count the one of Auron in her parents' attic because she couldn't bear to part with her tragic highschool love for the ghost man with a sword and sad backstory

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool.

If dude's gonna torpedo his relationship over figures, they should be hyper detailed super sweet stuff at least. Like those samurai Star Wars things.

Stan Taylor
Oct 13, 2013

Touched Fuzzy, Got Dizzy
I forget who it was that described Funko Pops as Precious Moments dolls for nerds, but they are the most correct person.

artichoke
Sep 29, 2003

delirium tremens and caffeine
Gravy Boat 2k
One of my exes had the upstairs floor of a townhouse to himself and the long wall was covered in shelves stacked high with comics, figurines, and other childhood toys. I thought it was kind of cute at first but things turned south when I realized that he was often steering our dates to a playground (in the dark) and throwing fits if I paid attention to my friends in group settings. There were other things, I mean YIKES other things, but a 26-year-old man with a roomful of toys isn't going to be good long-term dating material.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Some people sneeze when they look directly up at the sun. Involuntary reflex. People are loving weird.

huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only kind of have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only half-have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight.

im pretty sure this is how you know you're at least 1/16 vampire

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

artichoke posted:

One of my exes had the upstairs floor of a townhouse to himself and the long wall was covered in shelves stacked high with comics, figurines, and other childhood toys. I thought it was kind of cute at first but things turned south when I realized that he was often steering our dates to a playground (in the dark) and throwing fits if I paid attention to my friends in group settings. There were other things, I mean YIKES other things, but a 26-year-old man with a roomful of toys isn't going to be good long-term dating material.

There's a really good Metal Gear Solid fancomic about this. (:nws:)

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Better than 10 grand worth of half naked conspicuously young looking anime figures

That's like four or five anime figures, tops.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool.

If dude's gonna torpedo his relationship over figures, they should be hyper detailed super sweet stuff at least. Like those samurai Star Wars things.

"My wife made me get rid of my exhaustive collection of gundam FX Figurines and Master Grade models I built myself" might be a good reason to ruin a relationship, (I mean, if you were going to ruin a relationship over dumb plastic toys, at least make it a hugely expensive, rare and time consuming collection) but jesus, they literally give these things away with preorders and random poo poo boxes

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

La Brea Carpet posted:

Just imagine trying to have sex (excuse me, have teh sexytimes) with your boyfriend while the googly eyes of 500 different Captian Americas are forced to watch

artichoke
Sep 29, 2003

delirium tremens and caffeine
Gravy Boat 2k

haha what the gently caress

TVs Ian
Jun 1, 2000

Such graceful, delicate creatures.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I got a Funko Pop figurine of Tyrion Lannister for my desk at work and it's cute and all, but I didn't know there were people obsessed with collecting hundreds of them. They aren't even that cool.

Yeah, I haven't bought any of them because they're kind of meh looking to me, but they're coming out with Tom Servo and Crow ones, so I'll probably buy those two since there's almost zero MST3K merchandise out there.

Though I am glad my wife puts up with my Amiibo habit.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

huh, I thought that was normal. It's pretty great because if I only kind of have to sneeze and it's bothering me, I can just look straight up at my phone's flashlight.

I wouldn't say it's un-normal. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex

E: my brother looks at the sun and sneezes three times. :shrug:

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Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

TVs Ian posted:

Yeah, I haven't bought any of them because they're kind of meh looking to me, but they're coming out with Tom Servo and Crow ones, so I'll probably buy those two since there's almost zero MST3K merchandise out there.

Though I am glad my wife puts up with my Amiibo habit.

Amiibos are OK at least because they have a functional purpose and they're relatively compact.

Funkopops are pretty gigantic for deskbuddy toys and you can't do anything with them. They're the collectible plates of the figure world.

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