DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Post a pic of you and all your v trustworthy friends imo

gentle pete posted:

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Come now, even a retard like yourself must be able to see how these things are different

Mirthless posted:

a guy at my previous workplace once poo poo himself at his desk at work

it was a regular poo poo, not diarrhea. i know this, because after he got up, he left a trail of turds on the way to the bathroom. the smell was overpowering. this was a call center with 300 people on the floor and there was nowhere you could go where you didn't smell it

he was a big ol fat guy, the slob kind of fat guy who wears sweatpants to work

Mirthless posted:

a guy at my previous workplace once poo poo himself at his desk at work

it was a regular poo poo, not diarrhea. i know this, because after he got up, he left a trail of turds on the way to the bathroom. the smell was overpowering. this was a call center with 300 people on the floor and there was nowhere you could go where you didn't smell it

he was a big ol fat guy, the slob kind of fat guy who wears sweatpants to work

quote:

I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I am being unreasonable. Do people often become so comfortable that it's too uncomfortable for the other person? Is it worth breaking up? I don't know if I can continue like this, and whenever I try to talk about my feelings, he pouts and shuts down... doesn't want to hear it.

Mr. Belding posted:

You fuckless autists are ruining the thread. Go jerkoff missionary style and stops making GBS threads the place up.

quote:

Every time she goes to get waxed there's some little comment, "well guess I need to go get waxed again, it sucks being a girl" or "you're so lucky, guys never need to wax". When she gets home she'll sit on the couch with an ice pack on her crotch and expect me to baby her since she's in pain. She once made a post on Instagram with a picture of the salon sign and something like "time for a wax, the things we do for love". So I assume all her friends are also under the impression that I'm making her wax.

The thing is I have told her REPEATEDLY that I don't give a poo poo about body hair. When the topic first came up when we started dating I told her I was just as happy either way. Every time she's brought it up I've told her it's just hair and I'm just as attracted to her either way. I've never given her the idea that she has to wax for me, I've never asked her to. Yet she still constantly acts as though I'm forcing her to wax. If she hates it so much why doesn't she just stop doing it? So far whenever she complains about it I've just reminded her that I find her sexy no matter what and she doesn't need to do it if she doesn't want to. And then she'll be like "oh you're so sweet, thank you". But then a couple days later the complaining starts again.

I'm starting to get really annoyed with it because I don't want to listen to constant complaining about something she's doing to herself. It's like she's banging her head against the wall repeatedly and then expecting me to feel bad for her that she has a headache.

tl;dr: girlfriend never stops complaining about waxing, even though I've told her a million times that I don't mind the hair. I want it to stop.

Lonely Virgil posted:

One of my former roommates would poo poo himself and then won't shower for weeks afterwards. He also blew out his knee and being on disability got a commode so he would poo poo in the commode and just leave it in grocery bags in his room during the summer. It smelled. Always paid his share of the rent and bill on time every month unlike my other roommates, so he had one good thing going for him.

He also wore sweatpants everyday, but they had a huge hole from hip to ankle.

That's my knowing someone who shat himself story, thanks for listening.

Lonely Virgil posted:

One of my former roommates would poo poo himself and then won't shower for weeks afterwards. He also blew out his knee and being on disability got a commode so he would poo poo in the commode and just leave it in grocery bags in his room during the summer. It smelled. Always paid his share of the rent and bill on time every month unlike my other roommates, so he had one good thing going for him.

He also wore sweatpants everyday, but they had a huge hole from hip to ankle.

That's my knowing someone who shat himself story, thanks for listening.

quote:

My husband (32/m) is upset that I (31/f) don't look more like a mom. Relationships
submitted 9 months ago by Whatdoesamomwear

Dan and I have been married for 3 years and 8 months ago welcomed our amazing son into the world. He was very planned and wanted and motherhood had been transformative for me. I was able to take 4 1/2 months maternity leave before going back to work. Without going into too many details, we both work white collar jobs that require professional attire. A normal work day look for me is a skirt or pair of slacks, a silk blouse, pumps or boots depending on the weather (but always with a heel because I'm 5 foot nothing), maybe a blazer if I have a big meeting. Dan wears a suit almost everyday. I also style my hair and do some makeup for work everyday. This is what I wore before our son was born and what I continue to wear.

Dan and I are pretty even in sharing parenting duties. I tend to take mornings because I'm more of a morning person that Dan. A normal morning for me starts early, short workout, shower, get baby up, get ready, get baby ready and baby off to Dan because the daycare is on Dan's way to work. I'm normally dressed at the tail end of this process but I keep my robe on over my clothes in case my son wants to give my outfit something to remember him by on our way out the door.
For the last month or so, Dan has been more irritable than normal in the morning. There have been side comments if he gets up and I'm drying my hair or getting dressed- basically if I'm not 100% focused on my son in the am. Our son is happy playing and supervised so I just chalked it up to morning moodieness but it's been getting worse.

Last night I brought it up in what I thought was a neutral, non confrontational way. Basically his answer was this: his mom was 100% a mom after her kids were born. She gained a fair amount of weight after she had kids and never tried to lose it. She wore sweatpants everyday and works a job where she wears a uniform so if she wasn't in her work uniform she was in sweats and a tshirt. She never did her hair or make up. Her entire identity was being a mom and she's shared with me how hard it was to watch her kids start their own lives. Dan thinks I don't care about our son as much as he does since I worked on losing the baby weight and still put effort into my appearance.
I feel like keeping this part of my identity actually helps me be a better mother. I love my son but I'm still me and I still have the things I like to do. Dressing wel my identity actually helps me be a better mother. I love my son but I'm still me and I still have the things I like to do. Dressing well, blowing out my hair and doing my make up are therapeutic to me. Now that being said, my son is my life and if I knew that not doing those things but guarantee him a happy healthy life I would stop immediately. I told Dan that my son and I have our morning routine and he gets lots of time and attention before I go to the office. Dan said he wasn't looking to fight but he just wanted me to think about my priorities and my time management.

Is it normal for new moms to totally sacrifice all the things you like to do? Is this a sign of something deeper I need to address with my husband?
TL;DR: my husband thinks because I take my time to get ready every morning, I'm not as good of a mother as it could be.

corn on the cop posted:

my boyfriend is an unattractive slob who poo poo himself in my car. am i being unreasonable?

Pick posted:

yeah cause you can freakin buy lactassseee

Play posted:

Despite this issue, I am a 28-year-old man who has never once poo poo his pants since babyhood. As someone else commented, it's pretty drat easy to tell the difference between a fart and a poo poo, and if you're not quite sure well then maybe that fart belongs in the toilet. I was actually laughing really hard at a few people insisting that making GBS threads your pants is a normal part of life... interesting lives you fellows lead.

Mirthless posted:

you won't be 28 forever

Zelder posted:

Jesus Christ, I'll ask because you're clearly angling at it: Mirthless, how often do you poo poo your pants

quote:

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years, living together for nearly just as long. He's a great guy and I love him a lot, there's not too much wrong with or relationship and I'm happy. But...his loving farts drive me crazy. Since we moved into our new home about a year ago, I guess he felt it was time for us to be comfortable farting around each other, and even more so, making GBS threads with the bathroom door open in mid-conversation (I put an end to that pretty loving fast). I don't mind him letting out gas if it needs to go: I don't, but that's my own preference, no big deal. But he pushes them out as often as he can, usually with his rear end propped out and a big smile on his face. It's so immature to me, I tell him to knock it off but he likes that it pushes my buttons. Now he'll do it on public too, which mortifys me. It feels like every 10 mins he lets one loose.

Even worse is he'll do it right before or right after sex. This morning he stood before me while I sat on the couch, dropped his pants to show his erection, and then let loose a bellowing, vibrating fart before asking me to kiss his dick. :T

This isn't hurting our relationship besides grossing me out and it's nothing compared to what you normally find on this sub, but any advice on how to stop him from doing this poo poo?

tl;dr: Thinking of buying a butt-plug to keep my boyfriend's farts at bay.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My [21F] boyfriend [28 M] of 2 years won't stop farting.


Lots of threads complaining about the other partner's farting habits but felt this one needed to be shared, for obvious reasons.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My [21F] boyfriend [28 M] of 2 years won't stop farting.


Lots of threads complaining about the other partner's farting habits but felt this one needed to be shared, for obvious reasons.

Zelder posted:

Jesus Christ, I'll ask because you're clearly angling at it: Mirthless, how often do you poo poo your pants

quote:

I [31/M] fell asleep as my wife [30/F] was getting ready for sex. She left me a nasty note, had a tantrum then apologized. I feel like she was really out of line. More than an apology?

My wife is a STAHM, but, to make ends meet, pay for graduate school and save some money for a trip, I'm working three jobs. Monday to Friday, I'm a manager of a business development & marketing team. I'm doing my MBA at a competitive school and in class Monday-Thursday and every other Sunday. On top of that, I work Saturday during the day as a French and German teacher to save for a vacation she wants to take and took on a consulting gig to pay for a second car we don't really need. In between, I play with our baby, help with groceries and do a ton of homework. This week was really rough, and I could barely hold on. By Saturday night, I was wrecked. I bathed our daughter, put some groceries away, made some food for tomorrow and collapsed onto the couch. My wife wanted to fool around and I obliged, but all I wanted to do was sleep.

She took a while and by the time she returned, I had fallen asleep. She let me sleep there because I woke-up the next morning with a nasty note on the couch next to me telling me how much of a doofus I am and that I was snoring when she returned which made her feel horrible and unsexy. When I went to make a pot of coffee, I found expensive clothes in the trash. These were items she had spent a lot of money on, which she had tossed into the kitchen garbage with old food and formula covered paper towel.

I went back to the note and realized there was a page 2. It went on, in great detail, about how I'm a jerk and I should pay more attention to my wife. It took to painful levels of detail just how much work she does at home, etc. That letter pissed me off. I work, on average, 100 hours a week. I have three jobs and always make time for my family.

She had gotten up early and took the baby to her mom's. I guess her mom calmed her down because she called and said I should throw the note away, salvage the undergarments and that she was sorry. I was furious. She's driving around in a new car and I perpetually have a headache and haven't slept a normal night in a year and a half. She wanted me to wait for her at home but I was so furious that I left and came to get a day's worth of work done at the library (It's my alternate Sunday where I don't have class, thankfully).

Since then, she's been blowing-up my cellphone with text messages every 30 or 40 seconds. She wants to leave her mother's house and meet for lunch or talk. She recently texted that I told grudges too long and I should just put it behind me, that she apologized and she's bound to get upset if I snub her for sex. I feel like that's the least of my concerns.

Am I making too much of this? Am I just overtired and consequently overreacting?

Tl;dr My wife got upset when I fell asleep while waiting for her (for sexy time) and she had a tantrum. She thinks I'm holding a grudge and wants me to get past it. Not sure if I'm just overtired and overreacting or if this is a real issue.

quote:

On my salary, we could easily afford everything, but it's the buying formula at Whole Foods and shopping at expensive stores instead of discount stores that gets me. Groceries will run us $410/week when we could easily spend less than $200. I mean, on an annualized basis, we spend the equivalent of a brand new Mazda.

quote:

This time last year I collapsed at my desk. Thought it was a heart attack. Sadly, it was exhaustion. Fortunately, my boss gave me a week of PTO without impacting my current account, which probably kept me from actually having a massive heart attack.

quote:

I wish she didn't tell her mother everything. Her mom left me a VM about how we need to prioritize sex. If that isn't a dose of cold water, I don't know what is.

Tolkien minority posted:

I'm mirthlesses strange obsession with sweat pants

Play posted:

some people, like myself, have a more general dairy intolerance for which lactase does nothing.

Despite this issue, I am a 28-year-old man who has never once poo poo his pants since babyhood. As someone else commented, it's pretty drat easy to tell the difference between a fart and a poo poo, and if you're not quite sure well then maybe that fart belongs in the toilet. I was actually laughing really hard at a few people insisting that making GBS threads your pants is a normal part of life... interesting lives you fellows lead.

Also, out of morbid curiosity I tried pressing on my taint to get the last of the piss out of my wiener. Obviously, it didn't work and I can't for the life of me figure out why someone would think it would. Pretty sure the urethra doesn't pass through the gooch and that centrifugal force is the best (only? way to expel the last dribbles of pee.

Yes, I am a child who is overly amused by bodily functions (obviously)

corn on the cop posted:

get off turdtown talk you disgusting cretins

corn on the cop posted:

Ratjaculation posted:

"SHAG MY DAUGHTER"

corn on the cop posted:

get off turdtown talk you disgusting cretins

Lonely Virgil posted:

Are they eating wagyu filet mignon and caviar every night?

corn on the cop posted:

get off turdtown talk you disgusting cretins

Zelder posted:

Jesus Christ, I'll ask because you're clearly angling at it: Mirthless, how often do you poo poo your pants

Mirthless posted:

gotta be hard to be wampalord's girlfriend

Mirthless posted:

gotta be hard to be wampalord's girlfriend

quote:

I don't mind him letting out gas if it needs to go: I don't, but that's my own preference, no big deal.

Mirthless posted:

it's always sweatpants

always!

on that note:


you're a bad wife and mommy if you don't swear sweatpants and let yourself go