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ArbitraryC posted:it's kind of paradoxical but in my experience the more money the women i am dating earns the less money she expects me to throw at the relationship as some sort of proof of love/affection. I've been dating a prof for a couple years now and she is the absolute chilliest person I've dated when it comes to mutual finances. ??????????????? how the gently caress does that follow?
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:44 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 21:05 |
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Psycho Society posted:where did the name pnurtis come from quote:quote:
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:45 |
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Pick posted:??????????????? how the gently caress does that follow? my implication here is the gap is actually p relevant because it was almost undoubtedly a direct contribution to the problem they were having with respect to cost of the ring.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:47 |
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I would love it if she was just loving with him the whole time
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:50 |
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ArbitraryC posted:The post mentioned it was weird that he mentioned their income gap, in my own experience income gaps actually cause big problems in relationships and things are much more simple when you're dating someone on a similar level as you. But professors make like, what, maybe $50,000 a year early in? Often less.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:54 |
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Pick posted:??????????????? how the gently caress does that follow? Women who are making enough money on their own don't consider their relationship an economic investment. Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Apr 14, 2017 |
# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:55 |
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Psycho Society posted:I would love it if she was just loving with him the whole time Maybe she is The original name from reddit (the poster here changed it) was breckin. Never go full pnurtis. GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Apr 14, 2017 |
# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:57 |
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Pick posted:But professors make like, what, maybe $50,000 a year early in? Often less.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 06:59 |
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Patrick Spens posted:Women who are making enough money on their own don't consider their relationship an economic investment. You'd be absolutely loving stupid to not consider the economic ramifications of any marriage, male or female.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:01 |
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like yeah my gf makes more than that and can easily afford a good sized house on her salary excluding my income but setting that aside I'm not sure i get your point cause 50k/yr would is like above the national household income and is obv way better than what a social worker making 3x less than their bf is pullin in.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:01 |
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Pick posted:You'd be absolutely loving stupid to not consider the economic ramifications of any marriage, male or female. You are totally missing the point of my post and his followup in the context of this discussion. Like I dunno if it's sailin above your head or you're willfully ignoring it but it's p obvious and he pretty much explicitly stated it for you.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:03 |
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ArbitraryC posted:like yeah my gf makes more than that and can easily afford a good sized house on her salary excluding my income but setting that aside I'm not sure i get your point cause 50k/yr would is like above the national household income and is obv way better than what a social worker making 3x less than their bf is pullin in. $50k/yr is below the national household income and not nearly a good enough salary to ignore a partner's earnings.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:05 |
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Pick posted:$50k/yr is below the national household income and not nearly a good enough salary to ignore a partner's earnings. The U.S. Census Bureau reported in September 2014 that: U.S. real (inflation adjusted) median household income was $51,939 in 2013 versus $51,758 in 2012, statistically unchanged.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:06 |
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ArbitraryC posted:The U.S. Census Bureau reported in September 2014 that: U.S. real (inflation adjusted) median household income was $51,939 in 2013 versus $51,758 in 2012, statistically unchanged. Does she not teach math, or just leave it at work?
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:08 |
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Pick posted:Does she not teach math, or just leave it at work? Why are you being so obstinate here? Okay so 50k is technically marginally below 51 or w/e but I already said she made more than that in the first place and this entire aside was dumb because it ignored my general point of financial independence leading towards less of a desire for financial gestures as a symbol of romance like what exact point are you trying to push here, just say it straight
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:11 |
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Pick posted:You'd be absolutely loving stupid to not consider the economic ramifications of any marriage, male or female. Yeah, but there's a difference between a relationship where you can still afford rent/mortgage in a nice part of town after a break-up, and one where you can't.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:12 |
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Patrick Spens posted:Yeah, but there's a difference between a relationship where you can still afford rent/mortgage in a nice part of town after a break-up, and one where you can't. no I think we need to argue for at least 3 pages whether parts of the country (such as where I literally live) allow you to mortgage a 4 bedroom 2.5 bathroom house for like 1.1 a month
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:14 |
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It's a predatory take, that you find women with certain set characteristics so they expect even less of you, that you don't even have to fulfill the tiny sliver of responsibility that comes with being in a relationship. You think your relationship is equal because it's your idea of a compromise point, not a compromise point from the perspective of reality.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:15 |
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Pick posted:It's a predatory take, that you find women with certain set characteristics so they expect even less of you, that you don't even have to fulfill the tiny sliver of responsibility that comes with being in a relationship. You think your relationship is equal because it's your idea of a compromise point, not a compromise point from the perspective of reality. the tiny sliver of responsibility such as spending way more than you need on a symbolic gesture rather than just using that on the honeymoon or w/e? i dunno to me it's just nice to be appreciated for cooking dinner and doin nice things rather than how much i spend on our dates.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:22 |
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there are things I provide to my relationships that aren't measured by the numerical amount of dollars I'm investing in them and I find it's common that the more my partner earns the more these things are valued. That's all I was tryin to say.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:26 |
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ArbitraryC posted:The U.S. Census Bureau reported in September 2014 that: U.S. real (inflation adjusted) median household income was $51,939 in 2013 versus $51,758 in 2012, statistically unchanged. That's household income, not individual income. It doesn't apply.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 07:52 |
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quote:My wife and I were elated to find out we are going to have a daughter! We decided to discuss names last week and gave ourselves three days to prepare our ideas. I spent a ton of time on this and even put together a presentation with each name and the reasons I liked them. I chose some important family names and some special names from literature and the arts—all of which I think would be beautiful. LOL dingus made a powerpoint about baby names.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 08:04 |
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ABORT
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 08:08 |
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People being idiots about money knows no income limit, and yeah gold diggers exist, but both of those are why you make sure you're on the same financial page as your SO before getting engaged. Otherwise you might get hitched with your equal-income partner and find out they routinely blow their paychecks on bitcoin or something. (But hey, at least they're not using your money as a substitute for love! ) And the flip side to all this is guys who get crippingly insecure if their SO makes more than them. Like this sadsack: My boyfriend [21M] recently told me [21F] he couldn't be with a woman who makes more money than him, which I already do... Is this normal? quote:Hi Reddit,
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 08:09 |
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WampaLord posted:That's household income, not individual income. It doesn't apply. we were literally talking about household income in those literal terms e: like half the point of my post was that dating someone who makes more than the national household income puts them in a convenient place of not caring that much about money within the relationship ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Apr 14, 2017 |
# ? Apr 14, 2017 08:16 |
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Haifisch posted:My boyfriend [21M] recently told me [21F] he couldn't be with a woman who makes more money than him, which I already do... Is this normal? Why do people make statements like that, and stay? Is it so they can act all put out for compromising their values? GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 09:38 on Apr 14, 2017 |
# ? Apr 14, 2017 08:17 |
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:Why do people make statements like that, and stay? yes. it's a control tactic
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 13:09 |
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"You're so lucky that I, a minimum wage worker, am willing to look past these DEALBREAKERS for you rather than date someone who conforms to my standards, like for example a homeless person."
Buzkashi fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Apr 14, 2017 |
# ? Apr 14, 2017 13:15 |
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Pick and ArbitraryC stop fighting! Pick you imply its predatory behavior for a guy to use equal income as an excuse, but I think it's even worse where there is a big difference in income and the lower earner (usually the woman) gets pressured into being financially dependent on the other partner. ArbitraryC engagement rings are like bicycles, some people absolutely must have an $8,000 bicycle while others are fine salvaging one from a dumpster. There's no 'right' or 'wrong' amount to spend assuming you're not going into debt in the process.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 13:41 |
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A lot going on here. Wife [F22] has Vaginismus and has made little effort on trying to fix it after 2 1/2 years of being married. She gets depressed if I [M25] ever bring up the idea of wanting to ever have sex. quote:We made a commitment to save sex until marriage when we were dating. We are still both virgins. The first sign of vaginismus was she was never able to put in tampons. Then when she was getting her checkup before we got married, the doctor had to stick a finger in her and she was crying from how painful it was, but the hole is easily big enough for a finger. She then didn't want to use the dilators that the doctor gave her because they hurt. She thought it would be fixed magically on our wedding night. It didn't magically work. Wife hates her own body and is too ashamed to do anything about the problem, hopes for magical fixes. Marriage doomed, so what.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:06 |
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"Yes, I can't stand being in a relationship with this person as it is, so I'm going to marry them and hopefully just change them later. That'll work." Girl is a nun, get used to it or get out imo
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:10 |
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That's a totally valid reason to divorce. She cried because of the numbing cream? Oh boy, good luck!
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:18 |
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Don't date/marry people with vaginismus
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:20 |
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Don't date/marry people with vaginismus ...who refuse to get treatment for it and are happy to just ignore it. I think that's the really important bit in the story.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:34 |
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No just don't date them period.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:35 |
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Clark Nova posted:You'd probably make more money sperging out and going all moneyball about how much to overcharge for miller lite than you would by inventing the science of titty phrenology. howwww do you double blind survey male sexual preferences. did the models wear bags for a week. "okay now on THIS dance i want you to shake the LEFT titty only. ONLY the left. if i see ANY right titty shakeage it will upset the WHOLE model trains."
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:35 |
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30 Goddamned Dicks posted:...who refuse to get treatment for it and are happy to just ignore it. I think that's the really important bit in the story.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:36 |
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Things this thread had taught me: Don't date gamers Don't date picky eaters Don't date autists Don't date bipolars Don't date Vaginismusers
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:37 |
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Humans are terrible and all interaction with/between them is pain
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:44 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 21:05 |
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Things this thread had taught me: You forgot childfree people. I mean, pretty much anyone who defines a large part of their identity by a hobby, activity or particular lifestyle choice is a lovely person to live with.
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# ? Apr 14, 2017 14:45 |