Elsa posted:

Yves Saint Lauren

Who What Now posted:

Well now who the hell is that?

Serephina posted:

Amongst the horrible pointless derails, this has been lost. I was 100% on board with this guy, until he casually drops the bombshell in his closing remarks. He's still taking pain meds fifteen years later. Your parents are assholes, but holy poo poo admit that that poo poo needs to end.

quote:

My [21 M] childhood best friend [20 M] is a socially awkward, mentally unstable loser. Please help me help him

First, I'd like to say that English is not my first language and I'm not a very good writer. So please ask if anything I say here is unclear

I have a friend, let's call him Peter. Me and Peter were best mates since 3rd grade until about 10th grade when I moved to a different high school. I can say that probably he’s the only “best friend” I’ve ever had—we were practically twins. We have a lot in common, mainly passion for superhero comics, video games, sci-fi films and beyond that we are both (as you probably have guessed) socially awkward. We didn’t have many friends outside each other, we couldn’t talk to girls, and he was often bullied by other kids. If you need an image of what he’s like.. than picture Michael Cera. Peter is basically the Asian version of him

I didn’t hang out with him much during high school, but about 1.5 years ago, me, Peter, and a few other friends from our old school got together and find out that we like the same kind of indie music. We started a band that’s doing pretty well at the moment and we’re very happy, but there is one “elephant in the room” that is starting to bother us. We feel that Peter is still stuck in middle school. Literally nothing has changed with him. He’s still talks about the same things, has never had a girlfriend despite multiple bizarre attempts, and he’s just.. weird. This will sound mean, but here are a few examples:

He is a constant liar and not a very good one. Worst example is when he canceled a studio session at the last minute because he said that it was his uncles birthday and he had to go to his dinner. He gave us a screenshot of a whatsapp conversation to prove it. The screenshot displayed him and his relative talking about the dinner, but in one occasion it appears that he was talking to himself. There were two box of chats that replied to each other, but are on the same side.

Can’t form his own opinion. He pretty much copies anything we say. I’ve experimented with this a few times—I say blatantly contradictory things and he agrees to both. He has no personal identity. Example: he was very “straight edge” until one day we gave him some weed about 2 years ago. Literally less than a week later his profile picture is a selfie of him smoking. And still tweets weedjokes to this day.

Poor conversational skills whatsoever. This is a bit difficult to explain. He just keeps on talking without regard of the people around him. He could talk about something he likes even though we have no idea what he’s talking about. When me and one of our friends talk about a subject that he definitely has no knowledge on, he sometimes tries to force himself in. Also, sometimes when the band is discussing things and we need him to contribute, he would often say things that have nothing to do with what we were discussing. His mind tends to wander.This is particularly painful for me, as I remember how close we were. Now, sometimes it be very hard just to look at him in the eyes when you’re having a conversation with him. He oozes awkwardness that instantly ruins good vibes.

Poor logic. He isn’t stupid but there are times when his logic fails in very absurd ways. I’ve said things that he interprets wildly wrong, even though there was little room in my words for interpretation.

Poor understanding of social norms. This isn’t the best example, but one time our band was invited to play a gig by a very big local indie label. This was huge for us. Before he performed, the leader of our band stressed to us that we shouldn’t immediately leave after the show. We should help the label guys clean up and thank them for the opportunity. This was quite obvious to most of us, unfortunately not for Peter. He left with his other friends immediately after our set. We were the opening act. He didn’t tell anyone except me.

Poor understanding of women and relationships. He has a very unrealistic, distorted view of romance that, in my opinion, a result of sappy films and music. This is hard to explain, but a the best way to put it is that.. he views himself like a main character in a film. He view woman as a completely different species.

A recent incident that I feel you all should know: we were in a coffeshop one night and we started talking about life and relationships. The conversation was dominated by Peter as he was a romantic person but never had a girlfriend himself, naturally he had many questions for us. Initially it was a very constructive discussion, he opened up a bit about his insecurities, his failures in relationships etc. and we managed to say a few things about him that we wanted to say for a long time. The discussion quickly turned sour when I brought the topic of transportation into the conversation. I simply said that he should start learning how to drive a car or the very least a motorbike. I said that there are a number of perfectly nice women who woudn’t date a guy who couldn’t drive. I feel that it will make relationships, and your life in general easier. Then suddenly he started crying. He thinks that all of his pass efforts failed because he couldn’t drive and he couldn’t accept that are so many great things about him that became irrelevant simply because he couldn’t drive. Obviously, this wasn’t my point at all. Then a few hours later, he posted some lyrics that he wrote on his social media account that basically talks about how modern love is bullshit, commercialized, and inauthentic. Reading that boiled my blood. It annoyed me that he didn’t learn anything from what I felt was a very good discourse (at least initially).

So reddit, how can I help him? It makes me sad to see him like this.

tl;dr: my friend is socially awkward, delusional man-child. How can I help him?

Elsa posted:

no one I was hoping it had enough mass to start another chain posting thing

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

We need to make your comic posts a front page feature.

Serephina posted:

Amongst the horrible pointless derails, this has been lost. I was 100% on board with this guy, until he casually drops the bombshell in his closing remarks. He's still taking pain meds fifteen years later. Your parents are assholes, but holy poo poo admit that that poo poo needs to end.

Serephina posted:

I have been enlightened, that's horrible that people need to be on pain meds for the rest of their life. Poor guy. Does many drug's effect typically diminish over prolonged use?

Pick posted:

I know a guy with bone problems who has been on Vicodin for 10 years or something and will be until he dies

empty sea posted:

I'm late to the cats talk but my sister had 5 loving cats that magically shared a gigantic, deep litter box in a curtained off closet in the house. At least over 75 lbs of litter in there. And it wasn't cleaned all that regularly.

Instead of making GBS threads and pissing everywhere they waged warfare with piles of semi-digested cat puke. Lots and lots of cat puke. My sister just left it because their food was expensive and she reasoned, "they'll just eat it again after a while."

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think I remember reading somewhere that we never really evolved 100% properly for standing upright like we do and hat, coupled with the modern lifestyle leads to a lot of lower back injuries.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think I remember reading somewhere that we never really evolved 100% properly for standing upright like we do and hat, coupled with the modern lifestyle leads to a lot of lower back injuries.

Serephina posted:

I have been enlightened, that's horrible that people need to be on pain meds for the rest of their life. Poor guy. Does many drug's effect typically diminish over prolonged use?

Tears In A Vial posted:

Khorne posted:

What the gently caress is going on here. None of this makes any sense. So he can get a job at a grocery store and make an adequate income? Why would you ever get three associates degree? Transfer your god drat credits and spend 2 years getting a bs at least. What the hell is a cybersecurity major and what employment are you going to gain from it? I'm going with "none".
This post is amazing.

Pick posted:

Men are willing sex slavers and they must be controlled before their lust costs us the freedom of the Earth.

Pick posted:

I know a guy with bone problems who has been on Vicodin for 10 years or something and will be until he dies

Khazar-khum posted:

I broke my neck and really smashed my head many years ago. I'd already had loads of concussions from falling off horses and other stunts, so now I'm your poster child for closed-skill injuries. As a result I have seizures. Oh, and a nice, spiky form of arthritis in my joints. So to get through the day without doing something illegal, I take pain meds. And now some assholes in Congress want to take away the pain meds because--well, I guess they just think people should suffer.

Pick posted:

Yves St Laurent you pleb

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Yves Saint Laurent

Tears In A Vial posted:

quote:

We've been dating for 7 months. Met at a comic store. Very similar interests.

Tonight she asked me if she should get a drastic haircut she's been wanting a while. I told her—word for word—that I think she'd be pretty either way and if she wants to get it she should go for it. She immediately went extremely cold and stopped replying to my texts. She sent the dreaded "K."One letter, full punctuation. I told her if she is going to be like that we can talk tomorrow.

What confuses me is that when I ask if I should get a different hair style or wear my beard different, she always tells me it's my body and I should do what I want.

As I was writing this, she just sent me a message right now that said she's had it beat into her from birth that she's supposed to look how the men in her life want her to look and I didn't respect her by answering the way I did and it made her feel lovely.

Did I do something wrong?

tl;dr

Girlfriend of 7 months asked if she should get a drastic haircut, I told her she'd be pretty either way and to go for it if she's been wanting for a while, then I am enemy no. 1

Tears In A Vial posted:

quote:

As I was writing this, she just sent me a message right now that said she's had it beat into her from birth that she's supposed to look how the men in her life want her to look and I didn't respect her by answering the way I did and it made her feel lovely. 

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Can I use this in my signature?

quote:

Sorry long time lurker and occiasional advice giver so it sucks to be on the other side.

I've been with "jimmy" for a little over a year. A month ago we had a huge fight because he seemed to be overly flirting with out waitress. In the end I was being too sensitive but i legitimately thought we were breaking up over it. We didn't speak for a week and I was overjoyed when he calle me.

As a gesture of how much I love him i decided to send him a very extensive bouquet of flowers. I think he actually liked them but he made some very mean jokes that verged on homophobia. I was pretty hurt so i addressed him directly and said that I didn't appreciate the jokes. He said he was sorry and that even though he wasn't sure how to receive flowers, he appreciate the gesture and that the jokes would stop.

Well not only have they not stopped, he jokes about me and the flowers when we are out with his friends. He makes snide remarks when we have the slighter disagreement (for example just now he forgot to turn at me street when he was dropping me odd and said "oh poo poo, i guess I better get 1800flowers on the line since that's what we do now.")

I told him I didn't appreciate the joke and got out of the car without kissing him. I've been direct, I've asked nicely and I don't know what else to do.

tl;dr: I bought my boyfriend flowers and he's made fun of me nearly nonstop for 3 weeks. I've tried being direct but he keeps at it. I don't know what to do and it's very hurtful.

quote:

Reddit, please help me with this. Am I crazy? Please help me get it through to him to dress warmly.

My boyfriend before I started to date him was fat. He went to the gym and got ripped. We're both university students in our second year. It's Autumn in Australia and this week we could really feel the weather shift to being cold as in Australia. My boyfriend did not want to wear a jacket because it hid his biceps today. I know they're there.

tl;dr: Boyfriend refuses to dress warmly.

I Was The Fury posted:

Oh my god

My [21F] boyfriend [19M] never wears warm clothing in the Winter/Autumn period and he gets sick constantly all because he likes his biceps.