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theflyingexecutive posted:Where did you come from, where did you go?
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# ? May 8, 2017 09:23 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 09:11 |
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(talking about walk-in bathtubs)learnincurve posted:Disabled and very elderly people who refuse to go into a home get them for free in the UK. Person who buys my Nan's house is getting an awesome walk in bath/shower combo. Slugworth posted:That's cool, here the elderly and disabled are given a piece of paper that says 'Go gently caress yourself'. Tiny Brontosaurus posted:After a hard-fought battle in the senate, Democrats succeeded in getting it upgraded to large-print type. Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 12:03 on May 8, 2017 |
# ? May 8, 2017 12:01 |
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docbeard posted:Broken formula in Sheet 1 this morning, circular reference in cell. This office is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.
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# ? May 8, 2017 21:29 |
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Avshalom posted:It was a lovely Friday afternoon, and Mikey had just arrived home from a long day of high School. He was 18, a junior, and wasn't really much of a popular kid. In fact, he would sometimes get made fun of at school for pretty much anything. You'd be surprised to see what it takes to become popular. Of course, there is the "Classic Cool" starter kit I myself actually used when I entered Middle School and went to high school. This kit consisted of: A plain black or blue Jansport Backpack, a single pen/pencil, 1 small 1/4th in. 3-ring binder, notebook paper, and 1 eraser. Of course, if you didn't have any of these things, you could always resort to the 1 item that levels the playing field for all the students, no matter how popular or unpopular you are; you have this, and you'll make at least 1 friend... Gum. It's a no-brainer; kids don't even like gum that much. It's the psychological illusion of breaking a well-known rule that makes chewing gum specifically at school or in class so appealing. Unfortunately for Mikey, he didn't do any of those things. He just minded his own business and did his work. He stayed away from large groups and stayed close to his own tight group of about 3 or 4 friends. Now, because today was Friday, it meant that there was a very high chance that Mom and Dad would be going out on their date tonight. They try to do it at least twice a month on Fridays, so that they can relax. They don't take Mikey with them, so it's only natural for him to assume that he was the one they needed a break from. Since the bus ran a bit late today, his mom and dad are already home. Dad is googling some places they can go tonight while mom picks out what they are both going to wear.
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# ? May 8, 2017 22:47 |
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She nails it, every time.
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:02 |
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avshalom is a phenomenon, and the punishment of humour adds to the joke
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:04 |
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15 years ago she would have been a mod for that kind of posting.
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# ? May 9, 2017 00:38 |
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Twitch posted:15 years ago she would have been a mod for that kind of posting. 70 years ago she would have been in a concentration camp. (which is bad)
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# ? May 9, 2017 00:45 |
I skipped to the end after the first paragraph. Is it some fart fetish thing?
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# ? May 9, 2017 00:45 |
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Paladinus posted:70 years ago she would have been in a concentration camp. She's Australian, not Austrian.
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# ? May 9, 2017 01:12 |
Pick posted:She's Australian, not Austrian. ok, prison camp then
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# ? May 9, 2017 01:28 |
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Machai posted:ok, prison camp then You don't need to repeat what Pick said.
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# ? May 9, 2017 02:10 |
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Machai posted:I skipped to the end after the first paragraph. Is it some fart fetish thing? Yes
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:10 |
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The probation line is like a seal of authenticity so you know it's really an avs post. A work of art, throw it on the pile with all the others.
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:33 |
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Perhaps don't joke about putting known jew and good poster Avshalom in a concentration camp.
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:39 |
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thatbastardken posted:Perhaps don't joke about putting known jew and good poster Avshalom in a concentration camp. Bad posters also don't deserve to be in Holocaust centers.
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:49 |
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Absurd Alhazred posted:Bad posters also don't deserve to be in Holocaust centers. ehhh...
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:55 |
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Hey guys, the holocaust is pretty lame to joke about.Last Chance posted:
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# ? May 9, 2017 03:56 |
You're right. I think it's about time we gas the thread.
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# ? May 9, 2017 04:06 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:That would probably be like getting your dog drunk for them though. Two animals sitting around hosed up and chilling, but unable to really communicate. Is that supposed to be a bad thing? If my dog didn't have enough vet bills from her rear end problems to begin with I'd totally try and get her drunk to see what she's like. I like avshalom, she's consistently been very entertaining, but goddamn she needs to stick to short, punchy, surreal posts. I don't have the patience to read 1000 word essays just to get to a lackluster punchline.
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# ? May 9, 2017 06:40 |
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I don't think you "get" fart fetish self insert erotica dude.
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# ? May 9, 2017 07:10 |
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i tried out a self insertion fart fetish once but i kept falling out because i was farting so hard
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# ? May 9, 2017 07:30 |
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:There are no questions left unanswered in Prometheus. The trouble is that people don't like the answers. It's funny because it's true.
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# ? May 9, 2017 07:42 |
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InequalityGodzilla posted:Is that supposed to be a bad thing? If my dog didn't have enough vet bills from her rear end problems to begin with I'd totally try and get her drunk to see what she's like. http://www.theonion.com/article/unemployed-scientists-prove-dog-likes-beer-2186
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# ? May 9, 2017 08:19 |
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Honestly, their work is vastly inferior to James Joyce.
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# ? May 9, 2017 09:42 |
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InequalityGodzilla posted:Is that supposed to be a bad thing? If my dog didn't have enough vet bills from her rear end problems to begin with I'd totally try and get her drunk to see what she's like. Morally Inept parachute account spotted.
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# ? May 9, 2017 10:41 |
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InequalityGodzilla posted:I like avshalom, she's consistently been very entertaining, but goddamn she needs to stick to short, punchy, surreal posts. I don't have the patience to read 1000 word essays just to get to a lackluster punchline. The length is part of the genius, as the medium is part of the message. People have been responding to bad posts and arguments with "*fart*" since the days of the telegraph. The internet doesn't charge per-character, allowing mutations like "*faaaaarrrrrttt*" or ascii art of the word "fart" to evolve. Full length poorly written bespoke fart fetish erotica is the ultimate expression of the idiom. You don't look at Guernica and say "I love Picasso but he needs to stick to single subjects, like the melty clock." And like all masterpieces, you have to put it into context. Read the page from the top. It's what the thread deserved. Avshalom even emits a few chivalrous warning farts when the op starts comparing the Ghost in the Shell movie to a Twinkie. Like farts themselves, you don't have to suffer through it viscerally to appreciate its perfect timing, notable length, remarkable foulness, and the victims struggle to conspicuously ignore it as they steadfastly stick to discussing the Ghost in the Shell movie and how much they probably would have liked if they had seen it.
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# ? May 9, 2017 14:55 |
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The MSJ posted:It's funny because it's true. haha, drat, I love this thing
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# ? May 9, 2017 14:56 |
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Syd Midnight posted:You don't look at Guernica and say "I love Picasso but he needs to stick to single subjects, like the melty clock." Well, no, because the painting with the melting clocks was by Salvador Dali.
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# ? May 9, 2017 15:59 |
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Jedit posted:Well, no, because the painting with the melting clocks was by Salvador Dali. True. Replace that with "melty women", then.
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# ? May 9, 2017 16:05 |
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I am literally in tears from this.
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# ? May 9, 2017 16:16 |
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The MSJ posted:It's funny because it's true. No one was asking if a character was going to act like Steve Irwin when they saw the spaceship in Alien. Sweevo posted:they also call a computer a "number witch" prefect posted:are they accepting immigrants?
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# ? May 9, 2017 17:36 |
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Jerry Cotton posted:Since when are old people wise anyway? goatsestretchgoals posted:used to be that people who lived a long time were probably cool and good
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# ? May 9, 2017 19:20 |
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Scudworth posted:if you insist on saying "cuck" at all it signals that you're a shithead syscall girl posted:what if you're literally a bird? Metal Geir Skogul posted:That's Cluck thecluckmeme posted:Yes?
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# ? May 9, 2017 19:50 |
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From the Anti Food Porn thread.ACES CURE PLANES posted:
Pastry of the Year posted:Tartarus
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# ? May 9, 2017 21:52 |
Tartarus is a pit not a volcano.
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# ? May 9, 2017 23:39 |
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Machai posted:Tartarus is a pit not a volcano. We need not look further than our very forums to find the food equivalent of an endless abyss of despair:
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# ? May 10, 2017 01:22 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:We need not look further than our very forums to find the food equivalent of an endless abyss of despair: That's only medium.
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# ? May 10, 2017 01:26 |
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Chichevache posted:That's only medium. That was always my favorite part. I guess in order of edibleness of the things pictured it would be "medium."
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# ? May 10, 2017 01:51 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 09:11 |
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swamp waste posted:Scribblehatch is interesting to me there because you can see him getting really good, probably the best technical artist of all the thread regulars, but he also thinks he's running intellectual circles around the FEMINISTS when actually he's doing sexually frustrated nerdy guy stuff so textbook that they ought to warn you about it on the health advisory screen when you start your playstation
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# ? May 10, 2017 02:46 |