- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Statistically speaking, there *have* to be stories of people with autism not being terrible partners. There's just gotta be
quote:Ive actually got into a habit to spell out every emotion in detail. Why I'm upset, why I'm sad, why I'm down. He can read my facial expressions and I always explain in detail the "why" but the problem is he doesn't agree with it. He has a logical way of thinking things so for him, my explanations don't fit his logic so he disagrees with it.
for him theres no reason why I should care for a baby that's not mine. He thinks its not logical because its not my problem. He doesn't have a close relationship with his family so that makes it hard for him to think that siblings help each other. He has a very straight mindset. Parents help children no matter what. Children never help out parents though because that's not their responsibility.
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May 10, 2017 23:13
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Jun 5, 2024 05:27
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Somewhere in this cold dark universe is a bright spark of love and acceptance. That somewhere is an impeccably clean kitchen where two partners recite Churchill facts over a toast breakfast (NO jam) in unison, eyes looking slightly to the left of their partner's face at a light blue wall.
I want to see this movie.
E: just so I'm not ignoring Pick's reply, I guess a half-working empathy is better than nothing?
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May 10, 2017 23:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:So... I don't know how to explain this well, but here goes. I apologize in advance for the wall of text, but it's a long story. As always, TL:DR will be at the bottom, but it's best if you read it.
I'm attending an arts college right now, and one of the girls (We'll call her 'D') in my year has shared almost all classes with me for both my first two years. We hardly talked at all in the first year of school, but since the beginning of the second year (which was about 5 months ago), we've been talking almost daily. I bum rides to and from the college off of her (I don't drive). I'm not a very sociable person at the best of times, as I have Asperger's Syndrome, and while I don't use it as an excuse or a crutch, it certainly doesn't help. It makes it difficult to control your own facial expressions and voice volume, and I often don't get social cues or hints. I've been getting better at talking to people and being liked, but it will always be tough. It doesn't help that I've never had a girlfriend (I had the opportunity in high school once, but I was too scared to try). I've never even had a close female friend.
Over the course of these 5 months, I've started to get really attached to D. I don't know if it's love or just me getting jittery around girls like I usually do. I've always been a little on edge around D, because she's a solid 9/10 on a bad day (I think so anyway, she has mild self-esteem issues), and like I said, I have very little experience talking to girls on a regular basis. I perk up when she talks, and she's always makes great conversation. She's a very smart woman who doesn't give herself enough credit. She intimidates me, yet I can't stand not being around her.
Here's the catch: She's engaged with another man (we'll call him 'M'), and she has a 3 year old daughter with him. They've been together since D was 16, so 6 years. M use to be an alcoholic, but he's worked very hard to turn his life around for her and their daughter. He's been sober for 7 months now. They broke up for the whole summer, but have been back together since college started, and M recently proposed to D.
D and I had a discussion about this weird topic about a week ago. I basically asked her out of sheer curiosity if I creep her out, or if she's getting the vibe that I'm trying to date her. I explained that if it appeared I was, it's due to the fact that I just get weird around girls and am trying to not come on too strange. I told her I really do appreciate her as a person. She comforted me and told me that she knows that I find it hard to talk to people, but that she finds me easy to talk to and that she's appreciative of my honesty. We discussed this further, and I told her that my intentions are not to 'butt in' and ruin her relationship with M. She was, again, accepting of this. To the best of my knowledge, I believe she is happy to have me remain a friend, and is glad I am not pushing it further.
I was hoping having this conversation with her would clear my thoughts and help me to just focus on school and not worry about her, but it only made it worse. I haven't been able to think about anything other than D for the last week. It's driving me mad, and I don't know what to do. One friend advised me to not talk to her about anything romantic, while another told me to just ask her and 'rip the bandaid off quickly'.
I worry that she doesn't feel the same way and that I have no chance with her. I worry even more that discussing this with her at all will freak her out and just make her not talk to me anymore. My feelings for her have definitely intensified since the beginning of the year... I'm not just thinking with my dick. I'm enamoured by her as a person. She scares me, to be honest. She's overpowering, but I miss her horribly when she's not around. I haven't seen her in person (we both are terribly busy) since our convo last week.
What the gently caress do I do?
ask her out, duh
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May 10, 2017 23:21
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Youre reading it
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May 10, 2017 23:34
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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they might as well program in a function that adds "tl;dr tl;dr i am incredibly broken" and it would work for 99% of cases anyway
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May 10, 2017 23:37
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- Gloryhold It!
- Sep 22, 2008
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Fucking
Adorable
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they might as well program in a function that adds "tl;dr tl;dr i am incredibly broken" and it would work for 99% of cases anyway
I read that as into fanfiction. Still applies.
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May 10, 2017 23:42
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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oh yeah, this is gonna go just great
My SIL [36/F] has asked me [28/M] to be a sperm donor so she can start a family with her partner [40/F]. I have no one to talk to about this.
quote:
My wife [27/F] has an older sister - Mary [36/F] - who married her long-term girlfriend "Beth" [40/F] last year. I have been married to my wife, Amelia for 2 years and together 2 years before that.
They had been considering adoption but I guess both have a desire to be biological parents. They want their kids to be at least half siblings and the easiest way to do that is to have a common biological father.
My SIL and her partner were acting weird around me for a couple of weeks. I wasn't sure what they wanted, but got the sense that they were going to ask me something. I assumed they'd need help with their taxes or moving, but not giving them my sperm.
So, recently, they hit me with it. My wife knew before hand (I'll get back to this in a second) and was sitting there in a "supportive role". They said that it was zero pressure, that they wouldn't accept an answer and just wanted to ask me something. They want me to be a sperm donor for both women. I would donate a few times and they would eventually have a family. I was very proud that they asked me and then realized that they were asking me to jizz in a cup so they could have a child. A bit odd. There is no pressure either way, but won't be hurt if I say no (yeah, right) and just wanted me to think about it.
My wife had been told a week prior (told me nothing) and didn't want to pressure me either way, so she hasn't said anything about it and is putting all the decision on me. So, I really have no one to talk to about this. I am a bit of a shy person and not really comfortable going to my parents to talk about this, or friends.
Basically, if I agree to it, there's actually a long way to go. You need to fill-out contracts and obligation forms; need to see a psychologist; you need genetic testing; you need routine blood work; you also need a fairly invasive set of medical tests.
I'm not sure I'm really up for all of the testing - wee bit of a coward.
A bigger issue is that, well, I would be a biological 'father' to at least two kids that aren't my own. Children I have with my wife would half brothers/sisters that are also their own cousins.
I asked why they chose me, and it's basically a function of my education and physical & personal attributes. They like my personality, that I'm tall, Germanic and educated. Great. No one has ever broken-down my being like that way.
I really don't know what the hell to do. I'm not even sure I could even perform in some room, I have performance anxiety (a little levity to break the tension).
Edit: I should add, I'm not necessarily uncomfortable (I'm not a fan of physical exams and blood work), and honestly, I understand how important it is for them to have a baby, so I'm really conflicted.
tl;dr: My SILs are asking me to donate sperm so that they can have two siblings that share a common father. My wife isn't really open to talking about it and I have no one to turn to. Reddit, I need your advice!
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#
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May 10, 2017 23:45
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Maximum dweebage
I [27/M] left my wallet on the plane now I have to blow off the girl I REALLY like [25/F]. HELP ME!!
This is from 500 years ago in thread time, but his updates somehow make it even better/worse.
My [27/M] friend [25/F] that I really like ghosted me. What did I do wrong? (23 hours ago. post was already deleted, but the comments say he's overreacting to her not replying for four whole hours)
Girl showing interest but really slow at texting. (22 hours ago)
My [27/M] friend [25/F] decided to invite a non mutual female friend to our dinner date at the last minute. What does this mean? Am I overthinking it?
quote:submitted 21 hours ago
So I have this friend that I've known since 2014. We were really close until we drifted apart in early 2016. We saw each other here and there at parties but it was just small talk up until recent.
So Saturday before last, we ran into each other at a festival. We were both pretty flirty and kinda physical. Long hugs, hand holding, etc. I got her number and I followed up with her last Monday. I then made a plan to have dinner with her after I got back in town Monday. She was very enthusiastic, and even texted me today asking if I was still down.
Anyways, she texted me asking what time and stuff. Then mentioned she was was bringing her friend along. I don't know this friend, although I'm pretty sure she's cool. I just find it a bit odd. It seemed like it was going to be a date. I just don't understand why she has to bring her friend. She knows I'm not sketchy because we have history. And we never had any bad blood. What does this mean? Am I thinking to far into it? Can I still turn this into something more?
I don't think she is trying to hook me up with her friend, as her first name is the same as my last name. Which would be odd. (I have a common female first name as my last). I don't know if I did something to weird her out last minute or what...
TL;DR: Made dinner plans with girl. Girl decides to invite her friend and let me know 2 hours before the date.
Did I [27/M] handle a non-date with a friend [25/F] correctly, or was I desperate?
quote:submitted 18 hours ago
So I have this friend that I've known since early 2014. We were really close, although not sexual or anything up until early 2016 when we drifted apart. We stopped hanging out around early 2016, and I don't know why, we didn't end on bad terms, we just kinda stopped hanging out. I felt like I was putting in more effort, and just gave up on putting in the effort since friendships are supposed to be a 2 way street. We would see each other here and there at parties but that is about it.
Saturday before this past one, I met her at a festival. We got along super great. We even were really flirty, and hugging each other for long periods of times, and would grasp each other's hands. I got her number again, and said that I would hit her up before I left. She seemed to be really interested. I then hit her up that following Monday saying it was good to see her at that festival. We talked for a bit, and I asked if she wanted to hang out. She then said she wanted to have dinner sometime. I said I leave for CO soon, and would hit her up when I got back.
I hit her up Monday when I got back, and we made plans to have dinner with each other tonight after work. I had left my wallet on the plane, and tried to reschedule and she made the offer to pay for me. I went ahead and accepted. I hope that Well, it wasn't until an hour before the plans that I figured out the dinner wasn't actually going to be a date, but that I was just invited to dinner that included her friend and her sister. I still agreed to go, as it's great catching up with an old friend.
The thing is, I actually want to date her, or at least try to be something more (even FWB is fine if she doesn't want anything serious). I get along with her really great and I am really attracted to her. I am worried that going along seemed really desperate and made me look weak. I was just trying to be chill, no alterior motives. However, if me going to this dinner plan made me look weak and ruin any chances I may have, I probably would have skipped.
I took an uber to see her tonight, and she dropped me back off. We didn't make any plans to see each other in the future, I just said it was good seeing her and we should hang out again.
I am just confused. Maybe she wasn't interested. Maybe she is, and just wanted to invite me to a low-pressure mini-dinner-party before actually going out on a date. I'm just not sure what's going on.
TL;DR: Female friend asked to have dinner with me. It was actually a dinner get-to-gether that I was included in with her friend and sister. I feel like I was really weak by going along anyways. Thoughts?
Counting the hours until he starts whining about being friendzoned.
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May 10, 2017 23:47
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- cyberia
- Jun 24, 2011
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Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
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There are stories of dogs doing this too. Maybe the real lesson is that humans are just wasteful
Cats will eat your body before it's even cold because they're psychopaths. Dogs will rip your jaw off because they are trying to wake you up and as they get more and more frantic they start biting your face to get a response and when you don't respond their behaviour escalates in line with their anxiety until, oops, your face is now in two pieces.
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May 10, 2017 23:48
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
she hasn't said anything about it and is putting all the decision on me
It's a trap!
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#
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May 10, 2017 23:50
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
-
To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
-
Biscuit Hider
|
This is from 500 years ago in thread time, but his updates somehow make it even better/worse.
My [27/M] friend [25/F] that I really like ghosted me. What did I do wrong? (23 hours ago. post was already deleted, but the comments say he's overreacting to her not replying for four whole hours)
Girl showing interest but really slow at texting. (22 hours ago)
My [27/M] friend [25/F] decided to invite a non mutual female friend to our dinner date at the last minute. What does this mean? Am I overthinking it?
Did I [27/M] handle a non-date with a friend [25/F] correctly, or was I desperate?
Counting the hours until he starts whining about being friendzoned.
I had completely moved on from this one.
Thank you for being steadfast.
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#
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May 10, 2017 23:52
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
-
Taco Defender
|
And now for something new.
I (20 M) broke up with my gilrfriend (22 F) of 8 months because she wanted an open relationship, friends are taking her side
quote:I made a throwaway, some of these people have reddit accounts.
A week ago my then girlfriend A asked me for an open relationship because A wanted to sleep with some a mutual friend (B). She tried explaining why she liked B and said some stupid poo poo about it being good for us. As soon as she finished talking I told her we were done. She started crying, saying she asked for a reason and wouldn't if I said no, but I told her that just wanting to be with someone else is enough of a reason to break up with her.
Two days goes by, she's trying to get me back this whole time. All my friends (including B) are asking for me to take her back, and saying they thought I was more "progressive" and "cool" about things (We're all stupid, young "enlightened" college kids). So I've been arguing with them and trying to ignore A, even telling her to get with B and leave me alone.
This might not have been the most tactful thing to do, but I decided to go on a date with a girl I met in class last semester. I normally start dating pretty quickly after ending a relationship, and get pretty flustered if I go too long without being intimate with anyone. I went on the date, and some of those friends found out.
They all got really mad at me, saying stuff like you should have just stayed with A and been in an open relationship, and they're freezing me out of the group. B in particular is upset with me for making him and A "less close"(apparently in a bid to win me back she said she wouldn't be friends with him, I told her not to bother).
Anyways, I was wondering if I could get some advice for this situation. I don't think I want to be friends with any of them, but they're in all the clubs I'm in and have the same interests as me. My only other major group of friends I have is my high school group, and we just play intramural soccer and xbox. Are there any ways of making other friends with the same interests as me if all of the friends I made in clubs are done with me?
tl;dr-My friends picked my girlfriend over me, I met all these friends in college clubs/groups. Where can I find new friends with similar interests if these clubs/groups now hate me?
Edit- Thanks to everyone telling me to stay the course. I'm pretty sure I'm done with most of these people.
Edit2- Wow thanks for all the advice everyone has given me. A lot of people are saying I might have jumped the gun on breaking up with her, and that it's natural to be attracted to other people in a relationship. That's true, but I think there's a difference between actively trying to hook up with that person and accepting it's just a crush and staying committed. I guess I could have phrased that better. I wouldn't break up with someone for just having a harmless crush on someone else. I don't think this was harmless this time though. Once again, thanks to everyone.
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#
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May 10, 2017 23:56
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- Tacky-Ass Rococco
- Sep 7, 2010
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by R. Guyovich
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That guy is wise beyond his years.
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#
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May 11, 2017 00:01
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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This is from 500 years ago in thread time, but his updates somehow make it even better/worse.
My [27/M] friend [25/F] that I really like ghosted me. What did I do wrong? (23 hours ago. post was already deleted, but the comments say he's overreacting to her not replying for four whole hours)
Girl showing interest but really slow at texting. (22 hours ago)
My [27/M] friend [25/F] decided to invite a non mutual female friend to our dinner date at the last minute. What does this mean? Am I overthinking it?
Did I [27/M] handle a non-date with a friend [25/F] correctly, or was I desperate?
Counting the hours until he starts whining about being friendzoned.
It's weird because on one hand you can tell this guy obviously realizes she's trying to make things "just friends" by shutting down any date-like implication with guests, but on the other hand he doesn't seem to understand this means she has no romantic interest in him in general.
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May 11, 2017 00:12
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- Turtlicious
- Sep 17, 2012
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Wife (31f) is accusing me (32m) of getting an erection because of our son (2 month, M)
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1d9p9d/wife_31f_is_accusing_me_32m_of_getting_an/
quote:
I am going to try and make this as short as possible.
We have been together for 8 years, married for 5.
My wife (31f) is accusing me (32m) of getting an erection because of our baby (2 month, M).
I was bouncing him on my lap while she was getting dressed. I was watching her in various stages of being unclothed and I got an erection because of this. My wife saw my erection and flipped the gently caress out. She grabbed my son and threw a book at me while screaming that I am a baby molester. She says I am sexually attracted to my son and she was going to call the police and have me arrested for molestation.
What the gently caress? I am not attracted to my son, I am attracted to her. The erection was because I was watching her get dressed. She told me to leave and never come back. So I am staying at my parents house. I have told them, and they believe me. They said they thought she has always been a little unstable. I guess she may be, I just never really noticed.
So this happened last night, and now it's morning. I haven't heard from her. She will not answer her phone and has not responded to texts/calls. What do I do? I am not a child molester/pedophile! What happens if she calls the police and has me arrested? I am scared and don't know what to do.
TL;DR - Got an erection watching wife dress while holding baby. She is accusing me of being a pedophile/molester. Scared.
Me [22/F] and my boyfriend [20/M] of 4 months, he has a specific type and it's not me at all?
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6a0zv9/me_22f_and_my_boyfriend_20m_of_4_months_he_has_a/
quote:Hi reddit.
So I know this problem is really common. My boyfriend and I are crazy about each other. We love spending time together, have a lot of similar interests, and have a ton of fun. I really feel like we're best friends and are on the same level.
However, I have some insecurity issues. I'm going to therapy currently to handle it, but it doesn't stop me from still having those feelings. I compare myself to almost all other women when I'm with him and I absolutely hate it.
He's really into anime (as am I) and I noticed that he really likes girls with the high-pitch sounding voice. I know to someone who isn't into this medium might think that people who are into lolis and the sort probably seem a bit strange but maybe you can keep an open mind. He listens to singers with that high pitched voice, and follows youtubers who have that high pitched voice (in no way is he a pedophile, please let me make that clear). Simultaneously, for women in real life, he is into blonde haired-blue eyed athletic women. I'm a brown-eyed, brown-haired, petite girl with a more deep voice (not like manly but I definitely don't have a high-pitch voice). He enjoys reading ecchi manga (lewd manga) and watching ecchi anime and also really enjoys watching porn and the like. (I also watch porn and enjoy lewd stuff)
I don't think it's bad to have a type, I don't think it's bad to watch porn, or really dig women in general. He's never treated me disrespectfully and we even joke about what he likes sometimes. But all of those combined, sometimes it puts these thoughts into my mind like, am I enough? I always feel like if I see a girl in public who's his type he'll like her more than me, or hears a girl in one of his games who has a high-pitched voice, if I see him give her attention, I start feeling not so good.
I probably sound neurotic and honestly I try my best to just dismiss those emotions when I start feeling them or let those thoughts subside but I am tired of feeling that way. I just want to be confident enough in myself to not even care.
Any advice? My boyfriend hasn't done anything wrong right? What can I do?
TL;DR: I'm insecure because my bf's type is the opposite of me and he really enjoys "lewd" media. How can I stop being so insecure?
I [26F] found lolicon (again) and hentai rape porn on my husband's [29M] phone.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4gae57/i_26f_found_lolicon_again_and_hentai_rape_porn_on/
quote:My husband and I have known each other for 10 years and have been married for 3. We have a great relationship and we have an active sex life (with some dry patches- I have a lower sex drive and I don't feel like we have sex quite as often as he would like).
One of our few problems is he's not very open about his sexual desires and he gets visibly uncomfortable/shy when I've tried to get him to open up to me. He won't talk to me about porn that he's into because he usually denies that he's interested in porn. I've brought up watching porn together, and he'll just mumble something about not being into porn and how that'd be weird. I feel like he's ashamed, and I don't know how to get him to talk to me. So...as a result, I do occasionally look through his browser history to see what he's been up to. I'm just curious because he's so guarded about this.... I know that's not really a good reason or excuse, but this is why I feel the urge to look sometimes.
I only confronted him once about something I found, and that was probably 5-6 years ago when I found lolicon in his history (lolicon is cartoon pornography of young girls). I was pretty concerned but tried to do some research before talking to him about it. I felt like I approached him as calmly and gently as I could- but he just shut down. Maybe he was mortified? I don't know. I'm sure he probably was. I tried telling him that we could work through this, and asked if he was sexually attracted to children. I told him it was OK, and that we could seek counseling and I would stand by him as long as he was willing to get help. It was a pretty uncomfortable conversation and he revealed to me some troubling personal history. He wasn't sexually abused, but as a child, he was in the room when his drunk father tried to get in bed with his older sister (who was probably a young preteen at the time). He said he wasn't attracted to children and wrote if off as a curiosity that might have stemmed from that incident when he was a kid (that's about as much as he would say). He reassured me that he's never been attracted to children.
Fast forward to earlier this afternoon. We'd had a bit of a sex dry-spell the past 2 weeks and I was curious to see if he'd been looking at porn recently (I know, I shouldn't have looked...but I did. Ugh). A few weeks ago he had looked up "lolicon" and "hentai" and "rape hentai." I'm feeling a little uneasy seeing lolicon come up again and I don't really know how to feel (more so about the lolicon). I was hoping that it wouldn't come up again and that it was just a one time thing, but it seems that it's not the case.
I feel like hentai in general is so far fetched and in the realm of fantasy that I shouldn't find it threatening or worrisome, but I just don't know. He's always interested in having sex with me and we have no issues there, so none of the porn he's been viewing has seemed to affect us at all. Should I just leave it and not bring it up? Maybe it is just a taboo curiosity...? I don't know what to do. I KNOW looking through his history isn't the right thing to be doing and it's certainly not helping us learn how to communicate about these sensitive issues. I'm just feeling kind of lost right now and don't know how to handle this (or if I should even be worried at all?).
tl;dr: Husband doesn't look at porn often, but when he does, it's lolicon/hentai/rape hentai- should I be concerned?
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#
?
May 11, 2017 00:14
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
-
Pick a number, any number
-
Pillbug
|
And now for something new.
I (20 M) broke up with my gilrfriend (22 F) of 8 months because she wanted an open relationship, friends are taking her side
Lol at the redditors saying that he might have jumped the gun. No, if you have any self respect you break up with someone when they try to open up the relationship.
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#
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May 11, 2017 00:15
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
-
Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
|
With a specific guy in mind too, I mean wth
OP posted an update and fortunately he stayed the course and is just chillin with his new slampiece, though his old friend circle is just being dramatic and posting obnoxious stuff on facebook etc. The funniest part is the mutual "friend" the gf originally wanted to bang keeps pestering the OP to tell the ex-gf to talk to him cause she dropped him like a sack of bricks when she realized his involvement imploded their relationship. The gall tho, he's like "hey guy who's relationship I helped destroy, could you talk to your ex and convince her to gently caress me".
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#
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May 11, 2017 00:25
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
-
-
Nap Ghost
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Of course the comments going "lolicon is hosed up, you should break up on that alone" are downvoted.
Wow it's almost like anime geared at men strongly promotes pedophilia.
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#
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May 11, 2017 00:46
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
-
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I have the bad habit of saying hurtful things. ...m I'm probably somewhe... I have a mensa-level IQ
women are terrible
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May 11, 2017 00:49
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- Tato
- Jun 19, 2001
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DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
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Holy crap, after all the LOL stories of married people napalming their relationships by going "open," the last thing I expected in this thread was a 20 year old dude being smart enough to see how completely full of poo poo his ex and his friend group are. What an affirming story to find in this thread, you go dude
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May 11, 2017 00:50
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- Gloryhold It!
- Sep 22, 2008
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Fucking
Adorable
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Holy crap, after all the LOL stories of married people napalming their relationships by going "open," the last thing I expected in this thread was a 20 year old dude being smart enough to see how completely full of poo poo his ex and his friend group are. What an affirming story to find in this thread, you go dude
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May 11, 2017 00:52
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Wow it's almost like anime geared at men strongly promotes pedophilia.
I went to a maid cafe in Tokyo once, I ended up getting really weirded out, chugging my beer and leaving. Their entire animetown is like, supremely hosed up. Except the giant Sega arcade. That was pretty cool
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May 11, 2017 00:56
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I went to a maid cafe in Tokyo once, I ended up getting really weirded out, chugging my beer and leaving. Their entire animetown is like, supremely hosed up. Except the giant Sega arcade. That was pretty cool
Trop and I once went to a tiny anime convention with a "maid cafe" and oh man I can't do it justice, you need Trop to tell you that story
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May 11, 2017 01:05
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- dudeness
- Mar 5, 2010
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Cat Army
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Fallen Rib
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Revenge Cheating. Is it acceptable or unacceptable? [38M]
quote:I will try to keep this post as simple as I can.
I am 38/m, my wife is 39/f
We have been married for 8 years and together for 14 years total
We have three sons together
My wife had a deep, emotional affair with another man between 2008 and 2010. The affair was very serious and there was talk of her leaving me and taking our sons to live with him. She was madly in love with this guy. She would talk to him for around 2-3 hours every single day for the better part of 2 years. He was deployed for the majority of her affair and they did not meet during the affair. We live in the Pacific Northwest and this guy is from South Carolina and was overseas for the majority of the affair so no physical contact ever happened. My wife did send him nudes and they had cyber-sex and all of that.
The other guy died in September 2010 and as a result the affair ended. I discovered everything a few months after he died and it was over. My wife and I conceived our third son right around this time and I decided to stay with her instead of divorcing for the baby.
I haven't forgiven my wife and her betrayal destroyed me. I couldn't and can't believe someone I loved could betray me in such a way.
Immediately after I found out about the emotional affair I accompanied a friend to Thailand for a work trip. I had some for pay fun while we were there and it helped me move on and try to reconcile.
That trip was repeated the past two years and I wasn't faithful to my wife during either trip. I can go into more detail if necessary but I think what happened is very obvious.
I also had a one night stand with a coworker 2 weeks ago.
My wife does seem like a changed woman and she is trying hard to be a better wife and a better mother. She was a poo poo mother and wife during her affair. We were her lowest priority during the affair and I think we all suffered. I think she does realize how wrong and evil her affair was. What I struggle with is if this guy doesn't die, odds are the affair is ongoing and consummated. Its sickening how much she loved this guy. I can't get over it.
We have young sons and staying together is truly beneficial to them. If we divorced I would be screwed over financially as well. I love seeing my sons every single day and I don't want to lose that because of their mother's affair.
I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about my cheating. I don't think I've done anything wrong and I would make the same decisions again. The affairs have helped me cope and helped me feel better about myself. I haven't told my wife and I'm sure she would be hurt by the affairs. My wife curiously enough has always been extremely jealous and insecure. So she would be wrecked if she knew I cheated.
-** My question is simple. Is revenge cheating in my situation acceptable or unacceptable?**
TL;DR My wife had a long term emotional affair that only ended because the other guy died. Since I found out I've cheated some (with prostitutes and a one night stand). Is my cheating acceptable?
and a selection of his comments of course
quote:That it may be. It was hosed long before I cheated though. The reality of the situation is a divorce will cost me greatly. I don't want one at all. I would be paying my wife and I would lose time with my sons. Its not an attractive option to me.
Our kids are happy and we don't argue much anymore. I don't want them to suffer so I can feel better. That isn't what being a parent is about.
quote:
Its a business like any other. I have no need to play white savior. The reputation that industry gets in America is so undeserved. Its actually very professional and safe. I have no qualms supporting and contributing to the industry and I will continue to do so.
quote:I actually do believe that. The market does know best. The industry is well run, professional, and fair to everyone. These women actually enjoy their work. Don't just make your assumptions based off what you hear. I'm telling you first hand. It is much better than the reputation that it has.
quote:If its not me paying, someone else will. The industry in Thailand specifically is very professional and fair to everyone. I have heard from others that there is more corruption in other countries. From what I've seen, the women involved chose to be a part of this profession and they enjoy their work and are well compensated. Its a win-win for everyone. Do some more research. A lot of what I think you are reading is just propaganda.
quote:
My wife did way more than talk. She was planning out a life with someone else and was in love with this other man. That is far more painful to your spouse than a one night stands. I respectfully, disagree with your opinion. She was wrong and maybe I am wrong, but I am no worse than her.
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May 11, 2017 01:06
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:She was wrong and maybe I am wrong, but I am no worse than her.
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May 11, 2017 01:07
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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hot take: if you're going to bang a hooker at least do it in nevada or amsterdam or someplace where they aren't literal slaves
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May 11, 2017 01:14
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Holy crap, after all the LOL stories of married people napalming their relationships by going "open," the last thing I expected in this thread was a 20 year old dude being smart enough to see how completely full of poo poo his ex and his friend group are. What an affirming story to find in this thread, you go dude
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May 11, 2017 01:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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when women do this, ... wait... hmmmm
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May 11, 2017 01:20
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 05:27
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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They don't have child hookers in Nevada tho that's why redditors go to Thailand
UGHHH IM AN EBONOPHILE 14 YEAR OLDS AREN'T CHILDREN
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May 11, 2017 01:21
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