- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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I don’t understand slightly younger people:
I [25 M] received a Snapchat video from my ex [26 F] of her bloody and bruised butt with a caption: "my new boyfriend did this and he does me really good"
Good dick will (im)pound you.
Uh...if he made her rear end bleed, he is bad at anal sex.
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Feb 22, 2018 01:23
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 04:31
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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I'm imagining more of a spanking situation.
Then he's either doing it right...or wrong? Idk
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Feb 22, 2018 01:33
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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I'm imagining more of a spanking situation.
If it's a bdsm thing, he may have had her send it to a lot of people. Which would be doing it wrong.
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Feb 22, 2018 01:39
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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Humans are irredeemable trash
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Feb 22, 2018 01:45
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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Looking for that post I found something else. It's old so it has probably already been posted
quote:
Is my boyfriend too old fashioned to change? 21/f 42/m
Hi Reddit,
I've been dating this guy for a few months. Overall, the relationship is good. We enjoy doing similar things and, in general, we communicate very well.
However, some things are not quite right in the bedroom. My pleasure is not a priority to him. He's either a completely clueless or an extremely selfish lover. He's never given oral sex in his life and doesn't believe me when I tell him that it is a regular thing most couples do. He also refuses to finger me because he's convinced he has an HPV infection on his fingers. Yeah, he's a little paranoid. But anyway, the point is, I have never felt like he actually cared to make sure I feel pleasure. Yes, we enjoy having intercourse together but I feel like I'm missing out on the emotional experience I get when a lover is completely consumed in making me feel good. I have brought this up to him but he just doesn't seem to understand. It shouldn't be a chore, it should be an emotional experience for him as well. I enjoy giving him head not because I like the gagging sensation but because it is extremely rewarding and fulfilling for me to give him pleasure. It seems like having to ask him completely ruins it anyway. I don't want him to feel obligated to please me, I want him to want to please me. Perhaps he really is THAT clueless. He told me "I didn't know girls were that into cumming."
Another thing is, he doesn't like me initiating sex. He says it's emasculating. I tend to be very direct and more on the aggressive side. He says it's a turn off. I tried to explain to him that he should feel lucky. Most guys would love a girl who is aggressive about sex, am I right!?
Also, he is having some level of erectile dysfunction. I know I can't expect him to have the sex drive of guys my age but come on. What actually upsets me is he is reluctant to get medication to solve the problem. I guess that also hurts his manliness. I have asked him to get Cialis a bunch of times and told him I am not judging him for it. I just want to be hosed hard! Is that asking too much?! But no, his ego is more important than my sexual fulfillment.
I think part of the problem is he is inexperienced despite his age. He's a nerdy engineer who hasn't done much dating in the past decade.
Also, he's from the South and I'm from California. He grew up in a conservative area and he claims that giving oral sex was just never talked about so he assumed it's something only people on the fringe do. He still holds to his conservative ideals.
I know you are all going to tell me to break up with him but other than what I have said above, everything is really wonderful. In every other way, this is the best relationship I've had. He treats me very well outside the bedroom.
So here are my questions.
Any suggestions on how to fix this?
Have any of you older guys been helped by Cialis or Viagra?
Am I justified in making a big issue of this?
Are men in his generation weird about giving oral sex? Was it really a taboo?
Do you think he's just clueless or a closet misogynist?
Thanks for your help!
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Feb 22, 2018 01:57
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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There's something really remarkable about how a lot of very intelligent people are loving insane bastards and use their intelligence mostly to undercut and aggrieve other people.
Oh now that I'm on my home compy,
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Feb 22, 2018 02:15
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- Farmer Crack-Ass
- Jan 2, 2001
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this is me posting irl
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great story but martin random was one of the best during the fakepost era of gbs
he's the guy who also claimed to be an insider at the bush whitehouse and claimed that john ashcroft (google him) could only sleep on top of his desk wearing a full nylon body sock with a reciprocating fan blowing a soft breeze across his body
i loved the tidbit about Cheney constantly swigging some peroxide or something that made his breath absolutely heinous
My favorite detail was that Dick Cheney wore iced underwear. And Condoleeza smelled really nice.
thought it was rumsfeld with the iced underwear
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Feb 22, 2018 03:07
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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Found a star of a post from the other day:
https://twitter.com/StephMachado/status/965766695213240321
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Feb 22, 2018 03:46
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- Bogus Adventure
- Jan 11, 2017
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More like "Bulges Adventure"
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Sometimes it's best just not to take the money...
Me (28F) met a guy (older, 35-45M) in a bar and things got weird post his drunken hookup.
quote:Sit down guys, this is a doozy.
So, a couple nights ago I got yelled at by a client while on a work trip. They were mad over something my company did, not me, but I got the full force of it. I was supposed to meet a coworker out for a drink in our hotel after but she no-showed (she also got yelled at). That is in no way a part of this story, just background.
So, I’m sitting at the bar watching the Olympics with a glass of wine when “Jo” walks up. I honestly don’t remember him ever introducing himself to me or myself to him. I my first glass of red wine in front of me and he had a scotch/whiskey on the rocks in his hand. We sat at the bar BSing for a while, moved it a booth. Great chemistry, having fun, cutting up, flirting, just general letting off steam.
I had two more glasses of wine and honestly wasn’t counting how many drinks he had. I think he ordered more than me, but not sure. I paid for the one drink I bought and he closed the remainder of our tab (he offered adamantly).
We go up to his room, hookup, the sex was pretty good and I’m laying in bed after (like 5 minutes after) when he comes out of the bathroom, grabs his wallet and seriously throws several hundred dollar bills at me asking “what’s the total?”
UHHHHHH........NOT a hooker. I mean, I guess that’s a really unusual compliment. I must be at least fairly attractive and decent in bed if he really thinks I’m a hooker, but.....
I tell him I’m not a hooker. And he gets belligerent. Belligerent. Insists I take the money, demanding to know how much I cost. Blah blah blah. Eventually he has thrown $1100 at me. I’ve been getting dressed this whole time and grab the cash and run out.
THAT I could have lived with.
But I know I didn’t tell him my last name. Because I don’t even tell the men I actually go on first dates with my last name. But he found me on Facebook. He was never alone with my purse so the only thing I can figure is he asked the hotel bar the name on my credit card receipt.
His Facebook message was beyond insane. He may still be drunk, but he went on and on about how you can’t steal money from honest guys, I ripped him off, he’s going to call the cops on me. Blah blah blah. Ranting of a lunatic.
I blocked him and deactivated my account. It was only reactivated recently because I got back on bumble not too long ago. But, my question is, what the ever loving gently caress?
He’s just insane, right? I understand how looking back grabbing the cash wasn’t the best plan. But he was getting irate about me taking it and waving it in my face and getting all shouty.
The cops aren’t seriously going to entertain this as a theft case, right?
Tl;dr - drunk guy assumed I was an escort and got belligerent when I tried to leave without payment. He’s now claiming theft after tracking me down on FB
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Feb 22, 2018 04:10
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- tractor fanatic
- Sep 9, 2005
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Pillbug
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Is that some twisted george costanza thing, assuming the woman you slept with was a prostitute and then angrily doubling down when you're wrong to avoid the embarassment?
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Feb 22, 2018 05:11
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- Bogus Adventure
- Jan 11, 2017
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More like "Bulges Adventure"
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George likes his women pricey!
Here's another good one. Apparently, this woman is dating a Vulcan.
My (23f) boyfriend says love sounds too abstract for him to verbalize
quote:Helllo everyone! I'm hoping for some help on how to proceed. Apologies for any errors as I'm on mobile.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and known each other for two. We see each other 3-4 times a week usually, and have been on a couple vacations together.
He is an only child living in our city without either parents (deceased) and he really values our relationship a lot because he doesn't have many people to rely on (family-wise). He isn't super over the top romantic but definitely does like to plan cute coupley activities, includes me with his friends, spends lots of quality time with me.
One day a couple months ago, I told him I loved him and he said he likes me a lot romantically but has a hard time understanding what love is like, he sees it as being something so abstract/is generally confused about it. He also said he associates love as being full of jealousy and manipulation due to a past high school relationship that was built on that.
I'm really glad that he is caring in so many different ways that seem loving but it's a strange feeling knowing he cannot say it to me. I'm not too sure how to proceed.
tldr: my boyfriend doesn't say I love you because he claims love is too abstract for him to comprehend...although he is a great boyfriend.
While it is true that I feel some sense of attachment to you, I cannot say that I love you. Love is an emotion, and to verbalize such an abstract idea is illogical. It goes against the teachings of Surak and the IDIC. Also, my last gf was a total bitch and I loving hate her.
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Feb 22, 2018 05:33
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Given the choice between a relationship that by any measurable metric is clearing loving where my partner doesn't use the word love often and a relationship that could be described as abusive but they say I love you at the end of any interaction like some sort of tourette's compulsion I can't decide which I'd prefer.
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Feb 22, 2018 05:38
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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George likes his women pricey!
Here's another good one. Apparently, this woman is dating a Vulcan.
My (23f) boyfriend says love sounds too abstract for him to verbalize
While it is true that I feel some sense of attachment to you, I cannot say that I love you. Love is an emotion, and to verbalize such an abstract idea is illogical. It goes against the teachings of Surak and the IDIC. Also, my last gf was a total bitch and I loving hate her.
Maybe she can sit him down and explain to him that, despite the bad association from his previous girlfriend, the feelings he describes do, in fact, constitute love. She should describe to him all the concrete actions which he performs which to her indicate that he loves her. This can be fixed, I do think! 
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Feb 22, 2018 05:41
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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I'm [22 F] wondering if the restrictions I placed on my boyfriend [22 M] were to harsh
quote:Last night, my boyfriend and I were hanging out at one of his friend's apartments. One of them started telling old stories and a lot of them were centered on "how much cooler" my boyfriend used to be. The stories were focused on cocaine, one night stands, and binge drinking. There were also complaints about how he doesn't wingman for them anymore etc.
There were also stories about tinder hookups and sorority girls that made my glad I insisted we both got tested before I had sex with him. He tried to get his friends to stop and would defend me. He also would reply with "yeah, but I'm happier now" so I'm not mad at him, but I'm wondering if the rules I placed were to restrictive.
Just some backstory:
I knew of my boyfriend before we started dating. His fraternity was the only one that threw fun parties He would always be obliterated at parties when I first saw him. He had sex with multiple people on the floor of my dormitory and was notorious for being really a cool guy until he got blacked out and started doing cocaine.
I was obviously turned off by this my first two years of college. However, he joined Student Council the beginning of his junior year as the Greek life representative. He had matured quite a bit, and I got to know him and eventually made a move.
When we started dating I had three stipulations that I was absolutely clear on due to family history/preference ETC
1. I didn't want him doing cocaine or xanax at all. He was notorious for turning into an rear end in a top hat on cocaine. He did risky stupid poo poo. I told him that was a huge turn off for me. I didn't want him doing it at all. I had an uncle that lost everything and died from Cocaine addiction/Xanax overdose. My cousins and aunts lived in our guest house for most of my life as a result.
2. I didn't want him getting hammered a lot. I noticed he drank a lot when he went out junior year and I asked if he could cool that down a little bit. He didn't turn into an rear end in a top hat anymore or didn't drink to that point, but there were times he got smashed, so I asked that he not get to that point. I told him to still get drunk and have fun, but there's a difference between drunk and hosed up.
3. No girls. No wingmanning or Apps like Tinder. He got laid a lot before I met him. I told him cheating or anything that leads to cheating was a non-starter. It was fine for him to have girl friends, and talk to girls, but he knows when he's flirting, and shouldn't do it. I also told him I didn't want him wingmanning. Honestly, his some of his friend's aren't that good with girls and I don't like the idea of him talking to a girl separately while his friend gets shot down.
I'm wondering if these are too much? He hasn't complained about them once and doesn't do any of things I've asked him not to. I don't really care about much else he's his own person. I don't smoke but he's a huge stoner. We communicate a lot, and I asked him if he was happy with everything last night but, I'm still worried. He seems really happy and I'm really happy, but his friends made it seem like he pretty much sucks now.
tl;dr:
Wondering if the rules I asked my boyfriend to follow when we started dating were too much, after I hung out with his friends and they told stories about "How much cooler" he was before he started dating me.
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Feb 22, 2018 06:05
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I'm [22 F] wondering if the restrictions I placed on my boyfriend [22 M] were to harsh
These all seem like totally fine and normal things to request, why would she think this is too harsh 
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Feb 22, 2018 06:17
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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I was all ready to think her "restrictions" were going to be totally insane, but they're completely normal. How is "don't cheat on me" even considered a restriction in the first place? Well, I mean I read this thread so obviously I know, but still.
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Feb 22, 2018 06:21
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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I was all ready to think her "restrictions" were going to be totally insane, but they're completely normal. How is "don't cheat on me" even considered a restriction in the first place? Well, I mean I read this thread so obviously I know, but still.
To be somewhat fair there's some ambiguous wording there regarding the whole wingman situation that suggests her bf basically isn't allowed to have a night out with his buds without her supervision. Considering the rest of the post tho I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.
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Feb 22, 2018 06:25
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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tl;dr: Is Muta'h (temporary marriage) platonic or is it necessarily for romantic purpose?
https://shiasunniinfo.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/what-is-mutah-is-mutah-allowed-in-islam/
quote:
The temporarily married woman should, after expiry of the term (ajal), undergo ‘iddah (waiting without concluding another marriage contract) for two menstrual courses, and in case of the death of her husband for four months and ten days.
What the gently caress?
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Feb 22, 2018 07:16
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- burial
- Sep 13, 2002
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actually, that won't be necessary.
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Classy girls wait four months, eleven days.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:20
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- Galaxy Brain
- Dec 13, 2017
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by Lowtax
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Look, you can have a weird old religion with lots of dogma inspired by people rules-lawyering their sex lives thousands of years ago, or you can have a weird new religion where the founder has to build an elaborate workaround to account for how we know other planets exist now. If you want to avoid WTF poo poo you're stuck with the atheists, and they throw terrible parties.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:21
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I guess it makes me feel slightly less hopeless to know that people have been rules lawyering sex for thousands of years. Also, am atheist, throw terrible parties.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:33
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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George likes his women pricey!
Here's another good one. Apparently, this woman is dating a Vulcan.
My (23f) boyfriend says love sounds too abstract for him to verbalize
While it is true that I feel some sense of attachment to you, I cannot say that I love you. Love is an emotion, and to verbalize such an abstract idea is illogical. It goes against the teachings of Surak and the IDIC. Also, my last gf was a total bitch and I loving hate her.
Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations? That sounds like Open the Relationship to me.
The IDIC was a naked cash grab by Roddenberry
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Feb 22, 2018 07:34
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I guess it makes me feel slightly less hopeless to know that people have been rules lawyering sex for thousands of years. Also, am atheist, throw terrible parties.
really? but your lab mates told me you were a prostitute
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Feb 22, 2018 07:34
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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really? but your lab mates told me you were a prostitute
tell my lab mates to stop leaving dirty glassware in the base bath 
My (28m) husband (31m) of 6 years takes ridiculous risks while doing his "extreme" sports. Now that we have kids (2f,1m) I want it to stop. How do I do this?
quote:
u/Saileyfromnorcal
Edit: this blew up, sorry I wasn’t around to participate—an ironic twist, I skied all day with my cousin and had such fun my husband actually beat me in.
To address the most common concerns;
We have a huge life insurance policy through my husbands work, as far as I know it covers everything but I need to look into. It’s part of his job so we actually pay very small premiums on it.
I chose to be a SAHM, I do miss my career sometimes (as evidenxed by my comment) but I love spending tome with both kids, my husband works very hard to give me this. Our first was planned and we’d hoped for several years between kids but things happen and it’s a little more stressful than I’d hoped but we love both kids.
My dad adores my husband and he’s an introvert like Gregory, so he’s to bed while the rest of us are talking late into the night. My dad loves hearing about all about Greg’s adventures so he’s happy paying. Which sucks for me because my own dad is not an advocate for my desires.
Thank uou for all the advice I have some reading to do. Hopefully I can update when we get home.
So this is coming to a head because at the moment we are on a ski vacation with my family. For the most part we are having a great time and have my parents, brother and kids and my aunt and cousins and their respective kids. It's a great time.
My husband lives for this stuff but while we are being more social, he's in the lift line at 9 and he comes off the mountain at 4:30 like clockwork. He doesn't take hot chocolate breaks with us and he doesn't eat lunch with us. He will eat at the family dinner but instead of staying up telling stories and drinking wine, he goes to bead and listens to music until he falls asleep. So strike one, I'm annoyed with him being so anti social.
But the annoyance is compounded by the fact that he is doing behaviors that we have fought over many times...him not realizing he's not 19 anymore and now has kids and responsibilities. I found out last night that he made friends with a group of local kids who have been showing him the "back hills" where there are rocks and cliffs to jump off of, but this is off ski area so he has to ski down to the road and actually hitch hike back to the ski resort. I'm livid, literally seeing red, wanting to do terrible things to Him angry.
This is bad enough but we have this same fight every time we go anywhere, whether it's surfing, mountain biking, rock climbing you name it...he's always pushing it. We have this same fight almost every week night because he goes to Brazilian jiu-jitsu and comes back with his knees tweaked or face all scratched up. I'm sick of this.
In fairness to my husband he's a great dad and we had two kid much closer in age than we'd planned and he's very supportive and good at giving me breaks, but that makes his irresponsible behavior even more stark because I can't raise two small kids on my own if he kills himself flying down and mountain with no ski patrol (or surfing waves too big, etc...). And to add insult to injury, he says he can't wait to take our kids along on all his adventures as soon as they are old enough.
Like I said, I can't raise two small kids by myself. How do I get him to stop the nonsense and take his responsibilities seriously?
tl;dr: Husband is taking ridiculous risks while doing his "extreme sports" I want him to stop because among other reasons, we have small kids.
[update] I (28f) was very angry with my husband (31m) for taking extreme risks during skiing while we have two small kids. After the responses to that post and some more vacation events, I realized that I was unreasonable. I've apologized to him but reiterated my fears.
quote:
u/Saileyfromnorcal
Here is the original:
/r/relationships/comments/7yn3jg/my_28m_husband_31m_of_6_years_takes_ridiculous/
So that post totally blew up. I posted it at like 7:30 Monday morning while the family was getting ready, got zero responses and went out skiing, by lunch time it had like 200 responses and by the time I got in that evening it was over 500. By far my biggest reddit post ever (mostly DIY and crafts stuff). I spent Monday night carefully reading every single response because there was a ton of value in all of them.
One post stood out and I apologize to whoever made it that I can't mention it them by name, but essentially they said it appeared I was conflating two issues, my husband taking risks and him not being social on vacation. I guess in the interest of brevity I had left out some details, I found out about Gregory's back country skiing because he is essentially my dad's hero and my dad sat there like a star struck school girl while Gregory regaled him with tales of backcountry skiing with local teenagers and jumping off 20 foot cliffs into powder. I was deeply annoyed with Gregory because it was the first time he was social with anyone. We were on day 3 of the vacation and he had literally gone to bed at 8 every night to get up and ski. I was jealous of how much fun my brother's wife and my two cousin's spouses were so engaged with the family. So I conflated my annoyance with both him (and my dad frankly) for being anti-social and taking risks. The posts the other day really helped me realize that and I made it a point to be nicer to him.
It also helped that Monday night my cousin's husband got rip roaring drunk in our condo and started cursing up blue streak. This with kids aged 1-10 all staying in the same relatively small space. He and my cousin had a extremely embarrassing and public fight that started inside and ended outside within earshot of the entire base area "village." It made me realize that no matter how annoyed I can get with Gregory and his desire to not be social on most occasions, he will never, ever put me through that which helped me gain some perspective.
The yesterday afternoon as my cousin and her husband were getting ready to leave, he was acting like a jack rear end while driving (he was probably wickedly hung over) in the parking lot and ended up sliding right into a snow bank, giving their new Lexus some significant body damage. He got out cursing and spewing in the parking lot all while basically standing like a helpless baby screaming at my cousin that she needed to "call someone goddamnit." Gregory and my Dad very calmly dug his car out of the snow, dug up some gravel for traction and then backed his car out. It took maybe 10 minutes. It made me realize that quite possibly, all of Gregory's experience in remote places while biking, skiing, bowhunting, etc... have taught him to be relaxed and knowledgeable in a high pressure situation and he just did what had to be done. I felt very lucky and felt very sorry for cousin. I was watching this very hungover, overweight man cry in the middle of a parking lot because "that's a $6500 grill on that car!" while my very attractive and in shape husband who doesn't drink was calmly digging the entire car out.
Yesterday, morning I asked him if he would be willing to ski with me that day and he said absolutely, that he was hoping we would get at least one day together. So another strike on me for not communicating with him and assuming that he would see me as something of a "burden" to his ski day so I didn't even want to ask if he'd ski with me. We actually had a great time together and he's so experienced he actually taught me more than I probably ever would have gotten from a paid lesson.
While we were on the chairlift that day, I very calmly brought up my concerns about the back country skiing, leaving me to watch the kids (on other vacations, as I've said my mom and aunt are on "kid duty' this trip--though me and my brother's wife are watching the kids today while my mom and aunt ski) while he goes and does activities. He assured me that the back country skiing at this area was very safe but that in the future he would get all the equipment necessary (float coat, peeps) in order to reduce the risk and he said that he was sorry for leaving me to go surfing on our last trip and that he would try very hard to communicate before hand what his desires for any particular trip will be in advance and have it be a dialectic conversation with give and take vs him just assuming he can bolt off whenever the waves are big. I also said I was sorry for being so cold to him since the trip started but that I would appreciate him trying to hang out for a little longer each night. He said that it's thinly veiled secret that he can't stand my cousin's husband because he is constantly trying to "one upping" and "talking down" to Gregory for a myriad of reasons (they work in a similar field, so I guess there's something of a rivalry) and now that he's gone he will be more comfortable. So last night Gregory cooked steaks for everyone and stayed up a little later (8:30 is later right?) and chatted and seemed to have a good time. So today, since this was a planned day off for me to watch the kids, we agreed that he could meet his new friends really early so they could do some in area hiking before the lifts started and that he could stay out as late as he wanted if the snow was good.
So basically all is good, I love my husband more than words can possibly say and I'm glad we had this time together because I think while we had relatively minor problems in the grand scheme of things, we are coming out healthier and happier for it.
If I hadn't made my post Monday morning, I very well have made the rest of the vacation miserable for both of us. Thank you very much for all the all the help!
tl;dr: follow up to my post from Monday about me being angry at my husband for taking extreme risks while doing his sports. But was probably more about me being annoyed with him not being social and me not communicating with him.
Her husband is going to end up as a corpsicle on Everest lol
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Feb 22, 2018 07:59
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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Try to guess what "threatening language" the kid used that got the school so upset, keeping in mind the heavy air quotes the poster uses
son suspended from school for "threatening language"
quote:
Story:
My son (8) was suspended from school last week for using "threatening language".
As I understand, he was having a dumb conversation with his friend on the bus, likely trying to one-up each other. He said he "was going to bring a knife to school and kill everyone."
This conversation was "overheard" and that person reported it.
This conversation happened on a Tuesday afternoon. The next day he is called to the office and we get a phone call. My son is going to be suspended for one day.
Here where it starts to go awry. Mon son could stay in school for the rest of the day (Wednesday) and could take the bus home, ie we didn't have to pick him up. He was suspended for Thursday, for using "threatening language". The school has a no tolerance policy for this sort of language but since he has never been in trouble before, the suspension could happen the next day. We also need to take him for a psychiatrist evaluation. The school made the appoint for NEXT MONTH, which they will pay for if we use their doctor.
Now, part of me just wants this to end but part of me want to fight this for principle.
I don't think the school considers him a threat(they admitted as much) but have to follow through on their no-tolerance policy.
He never directly threatened anyone and the response seems heavy handed.
I need to miss a day of work and my son needs to miss a day of school to see the doctor.
I am not a fan of no-tolerance policies and want to do my part to make life difficult when schools try to enforce them, especially when they seem overreaching.
The whole ordeal just seems off to me. Either the school considers my son's dialog a threat and treat its as such or don't do anything. They shouldn't get to mix the two. It doesn't seem like the school wants to do this but they still are for some reason.
Any advice as to how to proceed? I haven't done or said anything to the school beside listened to what they had to say. I was planning to call the superintendent to at least discuss their inconsistency, but I'm also considering to tell him we aren't going to comply with the doctor evaluation.
I wonder why they'd get so upset about that kind of talk, especially now of all times 
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Feb 22, 2018 08:23
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- kru
- Oct 5, 2003
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But seriously he needs to be taking those hot cocoa breaks, my doctor recommends at least 3 a day and I'm mostly sedentary.
"Cocoa? loving LOL" screams the husband as he backflips out of the lodge window and continues down-slope
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Feb 22, 2018 08:27
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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its just to make it clearer, if the woman ends up pregnant, who the father was
extra so if he's dead and there may be an heir on the line
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Feb 22, 2018 08:29
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 04:31
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:Me [23F] with my boyfriend [23M] of 6 months, I think he's overly critical, he does notRelationships
95 points 57 comments submitted 3 years ago by maturityishard to r/relationships
UPDATE: Wow, I only wrote this 6 hours ago. Since then, we have broken up. Basically, I started crying quietly next to him while we were in bed, about to sleep, and he asked what was wrong. He acted very sweet. I told him I still felt hurt and humiliated after the conflict in front of my friend last night. He got angry and said if I couldn't deal with it, I should just go. He then had me go sleep on the couch.
Upset, I sat and cried for a bit, and heard him get up. He started taking all of my things from his house and throwing them into a cardboard box. The second I realized what he was doing, I stopped crying. I felt calm. I felt freed. I was hurt, but my CRYING made him want me gone? Then good riddance.
I actually realized as I carried my things outside that I would miss his cats more than him. I cried over the drat cats. They're so sweet.
Anyway, it was you guys who gave me the strength to walk out without a word to him. It was you guys who helped me see that I wasn't crazy, and that I was letting this guy manipulate me and make me think badly of myself. What was I thinking?
I've learned that before I get into another relationship, I need to work on my self esteem. I should never have let things get this far with a guy like that. I feel stupid and liberated at the same time, ahaha.
Thank you guys. Thank you thank you thank you. I'm going to spend a lot of time with my family and close friends this month. Also, it is my birthday today! So, I guess this is sort of a gift to myself.
Hey, guys. Throwaway in case the SO sees this.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over half a year. We get along well, have similar interests, and I feel very deeply about him. Most of our time together is great, but since the relationship began, we’ve had some small conflicts now and then, which escalated and created an argument last night. Lemme backtrack a bit, though.
So far, every issue we’ve had comes down to the same things. For him, he feels that I don’t always think before I act/speak, and this bothers him a lot. For me, I feel that he is overly harsh and critical about issues I find silly or small.
For example, a few months ago my boyfriend’s business partner was over. Boyfriend mentions that he’d like some bacon and eggs. I asked him if he’d like me to make him some, and he said no, that I’d just mess it up. I decide to make him breakfast anyway(a mistake, he asked me not to, but I wanted to be nice), and I guess my being nervous about “messing it up” became a self-fulfilling prophecy, ‘cause I didn’t cook the bacon enough. He became very sarcastic and loud, telling me how of COURSE I’d messed up, and going on and on right in front of his guest. He said things like “this could make me really sick!” and made me eat a piece to prove it was undercooked. I was very embarrassed. I brought the issue up later, saying that while I understood the frustration he felt, I felt hurt, and wished he’d be less harsh in these situations. He doesn’t see himself as being harsh, and doesn’t understand why he should take my feelings into account when I don’t do the same for him.
More and more incidents like this have occurred. Sometimes I genuinely say things without thinking, and I can understand why that angers him. But I don’t understand why his reaction is always so harsh. I feel like he overreacts, and my feelings get hurt. When I later bring up my feelings being hurt, he often gets angrier and finds a way to justify his harshness. I eventually let it go, tired of the conflict.
Last night might have been the final straw, though. The day before, I had done several things that irritated him, and he let it be known through the usual sarcasm and harsh words. I had forgotten to charge my phone, so I messaged him over skype; this became an argument about why I, at 23, was immature and could not charge my phone. I didn’t know exactly where a certain necklace he had gotten me was, but I knew it was in his house; he got mad (in front of a friend of his) and belittled me. I foregoed (forwent?) a shower with him in order to make sure I was available when someone arrived at the house; he told me my “problem solving skills were terrible” and that I could just call the person and still shower with my BF. I truly just didn’t think I had time for a shower, and didn’t really need one anyway.
After his shower, I brought up the harshness again. I told him that my feelings were hurt, that I thought he found me incompetent, and that if he felt that way he shouldn’t be with me. He started laying into me pretty hard, discussing how he felt like he had to parent me, and how immature and spoiled I was not to do things like keep my phone charged. While this conversation was going on, the guest arrived, and I thought my boyfriend would postpone the conversation until later, when things would be less awkward and when we have privacy. Instead, the guest (a close friend of mine) sat in another room while my boyfriend (loudly) told me, for about 15 minutes, the same things: I’m immature, I’m spoiled, my problem solving skills are terrible, I don’t think before I act. I was extremely embarrassed, and could barely respond to anything he said without crying. At one point I responded, “boyfriend, could we have this conversation later?”
“No, you wanted to talk about this, so we’re talking about this.”
“Talking” about this became him just going on for a long time and me just nodding and wishing it would end.
I had to ask my friend to leave afterwards, even though we had dinner plans. I was too upset after being torn apart like this, especially in front of someone I’m close to.
I don’t believe that my boyfriend is entirely wrong about me. I’ve had a very good life, and I can act selfish or spoiled. I’m still figuring out this “adulthood” thing, and have only recently graduated from college. But I don’t think I deserve to be put down over and over. He doesn’t critique, he criticizes, but I am too afraid now to bring this back up again. I’m still trying to process all of what he said to me, and I honestly would rather just bear it in silence and not make him angrier. I always try to approach conflicts with “I” statements, I try not to accuse, and I tend to stay calm and quiet. This is not how boyfriend handles things, and it’s frustrating and hurtful.
I guess I’m here to vent and ask what to do. I care about him a lot, and we generally get along, but I think that might not be enough. He also cares about me. We come from very different backgrounds; he had to become an adult very early after his mother got very sick(she has since died, his dad was not around either), whereas I’ve always been loved and provided for. Maybe the issue is a maturity barrier, I don’t know.
I notice now that I mostly detail the times he has done this in front of other people. I think this is because this is the only thing he will concede: "yeah, I can see how you would be embarrassed in front of that person." He never apologizes for hurting my feelings, however, because he feels he is in the right.
tl;dr: Boyfriend thinks I’m spoiled but criticizes me again and again, gets mad when I say he’s too harsh. Confused and hurt.
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Feb 22, 2018 08:29
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Feb 22, 2018 01:23
Cat Army 
