PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I hope my death is hilarious.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 14:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 06:32

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Inescapable Duck posted:

I hope my death is hilarious.

No, you should die as you lived.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 14:34

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

Three preachers are discussing how they divide up the money from the collection plate.

The first says "I drew a line down the middle of my office, and I stand in the middle and throw the money in the air, and whatever lands on the left I keep, and whatever lands on the right is for God."

The second says "I drew a 10ft circle in the middle of my office, and I throw the money up in the air and whatever lands in the circle I keep, and whatever lands outside is for God."

The last says "I take all the money, throw it up in the air and shout 'Catch, Lord!' and whatever he catches, he can keep."

CaptainJuan posted:

The last priest is a rabbi with the serial numbers filed off

Pirate Radar posted:

You remove a tattoo with a laser, not a file

# ? Apr 2, 2018 14:46

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Choco1980 posted:

So this feels vaguely uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:02

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

mind the walrus posted:

So this feels vaguely uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

You didn't see the final solution to the joke?

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:04

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

mind the walrus posted:

So this feels vaguely uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

It's a holocaust joke

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:05

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

mind the walrus posted:

So this feels vaguely uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

I think it�s because Holocaust jokes aren�t funny. The serial number part was good until someone decided to build an extended universe on top of it.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:05

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Jedit posted:

No, you should die as you lived.

With no funny jokes involving me in any way?

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:08

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

It�s a dark joke and there�s no problem with not finding it funny.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:26

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Holocaust jokes are the rare example of a joke not being "too soon" but rather "too late". There was a window that opened sometime in the 70s where enough time had passed and closed in 2016 when Nazis started actually doing stuff again.

Maybe we'll get lucky and it won't be "too soon" again

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:33

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I've got nothing against a good holocaust joke. That one just wasn't funny. The punchline is ye olde " :siren:

JEWZ N' MONEY :10bux:

" which really takes the fun out of the more novel "serial numbers filed off" barb.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 15:46

Oxxidation: Jul 22, 2007

here on the east coast we got a blinding snowstorm with 70-degree weather tomorrow

99 CENTS AMIGO posted:

Monday, it can snow a lot
Tuesday, Wednesday: rain and hot
Thursday, sun�s the only thought
It�s Friday climate change is ignored by the irresponsibly wealthy and suicidally ignorant, resulting in the devastation of hospitable conditions on the only planet known to sustain human life within our children�s lifespans.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 16:06

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

yeah actually they will posted:

If we can teach even one GBS poster to feel empathy this whole forum will have been worth it

# ? Apr 2, 2018 16:24

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

so glad to be the subject of this quote

# ? Apr 2, 2018 19:31

chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Use commas and capitalization, dickshit.

lol cry more about it grandma

anyway the 'what is lowtax pointing at' thread is v good

SniperWoreConverse posted:

chernobyl kinsman has a new favorite as of 20:46 on Apr 2, 2018

# ? Apr 2, 2018 20:43

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Conch Shell Corp posted:

I hope the retard masturbators union goes after this, i need my job

# ? Apr 3, 2018 00:31

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

MassRafTer posted:

He went on to become a wrestler

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Just off screen Popeye is carrying away Olive Oyl

# ? Apr 3, 2018 05:52

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Man, I hope Armenian genocide jokes are still okay.
And Rwandan genocide jokes.
And Cambodian genocide jokes.
And Holodomor jokes.

I might need to post some apologies on twitter is what I'm saying.
And on facebook.
And on youtube.
And on google+.
And on tinder.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 09:09

AMISH FRIED PIES: Mar 6, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Paladinus posted:

Man, I hope Armenian genocide jokes are still okay.
And Rwandan genocide jokes.
And Cambodian genocide jokes.
And Holodomor jokes.

I might need to post some apologies on twitter is what I'm saying.
And on facebook.
And on youtube.
And on google+.
And on tinder.

you forgot AIDS jokes and Holocaust jokes

POZel tov!

# ? Apr 3, 2018 09:27

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I hope someone commits genocide in this thread

# ? Apr 3, 2018 09:37

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Trans-LoafWithTail posted:

you forgot AIDS jokes and Holocaust jokes

POZel tov!

He is the AIDS joke on Tinder.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 09:40

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

Inescapable Duck posted:

I hope someone commits genocide in this thread

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 11:45

light for the lost: Apr 1, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

squeaky dick farts

# ? Apr 3, 2018 11:57

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

Bloodfart McCoy always makes me laugh when he posts. His name is a real riot.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 12:04

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Trans-LoafWithTail posted:

you forgot AIDS jokes and Holocaust jokes

POZel tov!

The Holocaust has already been discussed upthread.
And I don't do AIDS jokes, because it's a real issue that affects real people.

(I realise that the joke is very uncouth, so let me know if it's too much, and I'll 'make it disappear')

# ? Apr 3, 2018 12:05

light for the lost: Apr 1, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

too late, i saw it and will remember it when the time of your judgment arrives

# ? Apr 3, 2018 12:17

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Jared Has Aides has aged poorly in the most unexpected way.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 13:02

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Paladinus posted:

The Holocaust has already been discussed upthread.
And I don't do AIDS jokes, because it's a real issue that affects real people.

(I realise that the joke is very uncouth, so let me know if it's too much, and I'll 'make it disappear')

Too late, pal, if you edit this post I will ban you.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 13:18

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Paladinus posted:

And Holodomor jokes.

Only in D&D

# ? Apr 3, 2018 14:02

U.T. Raptor: May 11, 2010; Are you a pack of imbeciles!?

Stare-Out posted:

Mike Huckabee is trying to be a Twitter comedian and failing spectacularly.

PhazonLink posted:

He's been trying to do this for years too, you would think he would give up. Also he blocks everyone that brings up his morally inept son.

Poops Mcgoots posted:

Woah, hey, he only killed and hung a dog. He didn't have sex with it.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 03:45

Mr. Bad Guy: Jun 28, 2006

This exchange in the Memes thread got a chuckle out of me.

Randaconda posted:

MizPiz posted:

Army guy knew what he was signing up for

IncredibleIgloo posted:

He is not an Army guy.

ToyotaThong posted:

He's not a Navy pal.

The Relentless posted:

He's not an air-force fwend.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 11:48

I brought my Drake: Jul 10, 2014; These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Kevin Palpatine posted:

I injected my cat with heroin and he started playing saxophone

I haven't seen him since he went on tour in ny but at least leonard feather had some nice things to say about his playing

# ? Apr 4, 2018 16:04

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Charles Bukowski posted:

Bloodfart McCoy always makes me laugh when he posts. His name is a real riot.

same, plus when i watch old star treks and deforest kelly comes onscreen i always giggle internally and think "there he is, ol' bloodfart"

# ? Apr 4, 2018 16:59

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Elias_Maluco posted:

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Spider-Glans, Spider-Glans
Fits right into an old man's hands

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:02

Cicadas!: Oct 27, 2010

He looks so happy to be grabbing spiderdong!

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:09

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Cicadas! posted:

He looks so happy to be grabbing spiderdong!

He has learned how to shot web.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:21

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

My nephew was playing spider-man recently and his mother described it as �throwing webs� which struck me as one of the most mom phrases of all time.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 20:08

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

mind the walrus posted:

I've got nothing against a good holocaust joke. That one just wasn't funny. The punchline is ye olde " JEWZ N' MONEY " which really takes the fun out of the more novel "serial numbers filed off" barb.

You have some bad reading comprehension. The punchline is about the Nazis putting number tattoos on the Jews they captured and put in camps. The middle quote is about how they'd heard the first quoted joke (Which is simply there for in my post for context) as being the racist sentiment you're implying the entire thing is about, and which none of it actually is.

And now the post is ruined because I had to explain the joke, ya big meanie.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 22:39

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway