/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

She's findomming on the side.

# ? May 31, 2018 19:52

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:12

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Kelly posted:

This isn't so salacious by r/r standards...but any guesses as to who the celebrity could be?

I (26f) am pregnant by a D/E list celebrity (20s/30sM) after just a few dates. I knew it was going nowhere but he's using his publicist and manager to talk to me and won't discuss options with me directly. I feel so alone and it's crushing me, I don't know what to do.

Super troopers 2 is coming out this summer right?

Guess car ramrod is getting a car seat.

# ? May 31, 2018 19:54

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Milotic posted:

Do you want dead kids? Cos this is how you end up with dead kids

How do I (64M) get my wife (55F) to stop sending our heroin addict son (21M) nearly a thousand dollars a month? She seems incapable of understanding how this enables him.

Yep, mom is in for a whole world of hurt and he needs to get the hell away fast. Eventually he's going to say something like "fine, your money, your kid, do what you want" and she's going to flip her poo poo when the kid ODs and try to blame him. No amount of money or "love" is worth that garbage, especially when the kid's been in and out of rehab and doesn't want to get clean.

# ? May 31, 2018 19:59

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

DreamShipWrecked posted:

Anime.

The internet is the cause. That and overpopulation, but it's mostly the internet. Anime is just a symptom.

e: oh yeah and straying further from God's light

# ? May 31, 2018 19:59

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

La Brea Carpet posted:

Super troopers 2 is coming out this summer right?

Guess car ramrod is getting a car seat.

It came out in April

# ? May 31, 2018 20:23

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Sorry about your garbage husband with broken brains:

Husband [29m] doesn't like that I [25f] breastfeed for some reason. He's very critical of everything I do with baby and I don't know how to handle it ?

quote:

u/Bugaboobaby
We have a 3 week old baby. She is by far the love of my life and I've been trying my best to be the best mother I can. But it seems like everything I'm doing I'm being judged for. My hubby doesn't like that I'm breastfeeding for some reason, he becomes very irritable and keeps badgering me to formula feed. There's no need for me to, I'm happy with what I'm doing.

When I asked him why he just says it makes him uncomfortable. I dont know if he was raised with some different values or childrearing practices but thats not how im doing things. There's always something he has to say about something I'm doing. I'm pretty sure I know how to care for baby, considering I'm also a midwife. The last thing I need is this extra stress, but I really feel like he's being a little unreasonable. Especially since he won't tell me the reason. I don't know how to talk to him about this ?

tl;dr: husband is always critical of what I do with baby and doesn't seem to like me breastfeeding. I don't know why he's acting like this or what to do.

Breast is so much less hassle than having to sterilise and make sure milk is fresh. Also healthier for the child.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

The baby is 3 weeks old, the husband is probably just freaking out over the sudden responsibility and needs a wakeup call

# ? May 31, 2018 20:32

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Maybe he wants to contribute and she's hogging the baby. Not to get all :biotruths:

, but that's pretty understandable.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:36

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

loquacius posted:

The baby is 3 weeks old, the husband is probably just freaking out over the sudden responsibility and needs a wakeup call

The being critical I can get - pretty normal to be irritable with each other with a newborn if you�re not getting much sleep and everything is new and different. But the breastfeeding thing? He�s 29. He should know better.

As a Christian, this sort of �God will provide� really annoys me. God gives us skills and the capability to make plans and contingencies. Use them:

My parents (73) want to kick my brother (45) and his family out of their house

quote:

u/yuiawta
My brother and his wife are both medical missionaries. They have spent the bulk of the last 11 years in Africa through a Christian program that places them in understaffed hospitals. They get a monthly stipend, funded by charitable donations, for living expenses. They have two kids, now 8 and 14.

From one perspective, they have put themselves through tremendous hardships to help those most in need. They have lived in rural housing without flushing toilets, home-schooled their kids while working in understaffed hospitals dealing with horrific diseases without modern medical equipment. They have built up a small church community in rural Africa from virtually nothing. And they've likely meaningfully touched more lives than most of us could ever dream of.

From another perspective, they are now in their mid-40s and they don't have a penny to their name. Nothing for the kids' college or their retirement. They live in my parents' basement when they are in the US, which they have been for about half the time the last 4-5 years. They don't pay for groceries or utilities.

My parents recently shared with me that they are kicking them out. When they're here in the US, they don't work, saying that nobody wants to hire a doctor for just a year (and that it would be sinful for them to deceive them). They instead sit around the house and continue their homeschooling of the kids. They won't say as much, but I'm pretty sure their retirement plan is inheritance, though it's hard to say whether that will be a sufficient amount.

My parents shared with me that they do not really want to kick them out. What they want is for them to both get jobs, to put their kids in the local public school, and to start to balance their faith with reality. My parents say they don't even care about them living in the house and not contributing financially, if they would just start earning and saving some money for the future.

My parents are begging me to help convince him to change his ways. I've tried in years past to talk to them about money, but the conversation turns to the true riches of the kingdom of heaven and we get nowhere. When I ask about funding for college they say God will show them the right path when the time comes. It's like we don't even speak the same language.

My mother is increasingly stressed and she tells me she is barely sleeping. She threatened to sell the house and downsize to somewhere my brother and family wouldn't be able to fit, but my brother talked her out of it (and she was bluffing anyway, she's lived in that house for decades and she doesn't want to move). She yells at him about the damage to her dishes and her furniture from his kids, but he dismisses any concerns with material possessions as trivial and meaningless.

I really want to help my parents, but I haven't the slightest clue how. My brother and his wife won't listen to us. What do you think I and my parents should do?

TL;DR: Failure-to-launch brother and his family are saving the world but not a penny for themselves. My mother wants them to either move out or get jobs, but they refuse, and are in an increasingly awkward stand-off.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:37

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

Milotic posted:

Sorry about your garbage husband with broken brains:

Husband [29m] doesn't like that I [25f] breastfeed for some reason. He's very critical of everything I do with baby and I don't know how to handle it ?

Breast is so much less hassle than having to sterilise and make sure milk is fresh. Also healthier for the child.

the irrefutable argument: "i don't know, it's just weird"

# ? May 31, 2018 20:39

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Yeah, that's why I'm leaning toward freakout, it's a totally illogical argument

# ? May 31, 2018 20:40

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

A Gofundme or whatever Christian alternative crowdfunding site inevitably exists would def give the missionary doctor home schoolers getting kicked out by their godless parents a loving load of cash

# ? May 31, 2018 20:40

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Tits are for sex not food - man who is jelly baby.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:43

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Sloth Life posted:

Tits are for sex not food - man who is jelly baby.

My money is on this. His sex titties are being used for baby food and that's fucken wierd man.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:48

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

quote:

saying that nobody wants to hire a doctor for just a year

This is total bullshit, if they are family practice / internal medicine docs which is likely based on their mission work, it would be fairly easy for them to find short term work in the US.

# ? May 31, 2018 20:49

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Small hospitals are desperate for ER coverage there's lucrative work all over.

# ? May 31, 2018 21:00

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

the irrefutable argument: "i don't know, it's just weird"

Those titties are for him only

# ? May 31, 2018 21:11

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

girl pants posted:

Those titties ~~are~~ were for him only

It does take a minute to adjust but he's a real jackass for verbalizing it or allowing it to modify his behavior in the least

# ? May 31, 2018 21:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

cross-postin�

Nckdictator posted:

RIP guy who decided to stick a bull penis up his own dick.

http://www.thomas-morris.uk/irritating-the-genitals-by-various-means/

Berth Ell Pup Enips

# ? May 31, 2018 21:14

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Before getting married everyone told him "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." He, being clever responded, "because this way I can be sure only I get the milk." It must be quite frustrating for him to find our he was wrong.

# ? May 31, 2018 21:17

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Kelly posted:

This isn't so salacious by r/r standards...but any guesses as to who the celebrity could be?

I (26f) am pregnant by a D/E list celebrity (20s/30sM) after just a few dates. I knew it was going nowhere but he's using his publicist and manager to talk to me and won't discuss options with me directly. I feel so alone and it's crushing me, I don't know what to do.

my only guesses are patrick fugit and lou taylor pucci, judging by my list of d/e list celebrity crushes

maybe matt bush?

# ? May 31, 2018 21:38

CuddleCryptid: Jan 11, 2013; Things could be going better

andrew smash posted:

This is total bullshit, if they are family practice / internal medicine docs which is likely based on their mission work, it would be fairly easy for them to find short term work in the US.

That is assuming that they are actually doctors. "Christian medical missionaries" can mean a lot of things.

# ? May 31, 2018 21:44

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

YeahTubaMike posted:

my only guesses are patrick fugit and lou taylor pucci, judging by my list of d/e list celebrity crushes

maybe matt bush?

I know he's not exactly D/E list but I really have my heart set on Michael Cera

# ? May 31, 2018 21:46

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

DreamShipWrecked posted:

That is assuming that they are actually doctors. "Christian medical missionaries" can mean a lot of things.

the post claims that they are doctors but if you want to speculate go wild i guess. Totally possible that they are part of one of the many fields of quacks who award themselves doctoral degrees and insist on being called doctor (homeopath, naturopath, chiropractor, etc) but there's no specific indication that is the case.

# ? May 31, 2018 21:51

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

andrew smash posted:

the post claims that they are doctors but if you want to speculate go wild i guess. Totally possible that they are part of one of the many fields of quacks who award themselves doctoral degrees and insist on being called doctor (homeopath, naturopath, chiropractor, etc) but there's no specific indication that is the case.

I'd put money on it being exactly this. My friends had a mormon missionary couple staying in their basement suite who claimed to be doctors and just doing some missionary work in town before going off to the 3rd world to help cure people. One was a "doctor" of chiropractic and the other a "doctor" of natural medicine. Useless quacks off to hurt countries starving for real doctors.

# ? May 31, 2018 21:54

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Kelly posted:

This isn't so salacious by r/r standards...but any guesses as to who the celebrity could be?

I (26f) am pregnant by a D/E list celebrity (20s/30sM) after just a few dates. I knew it was going nowhere but he's using his publicist and manager to talk to me and won't discuss options with me directly. I feel so alone and it's crushing me, I don't know what to do.

calling it, he is also in a movie coming out this year. favorite indie movie and high school, COME ON

oh wait his biggest release this year, NEVER MIND but a boy can dream

datajugend fucked around with this message at 22:03 on May 31, 2018

# ? May 31, 2018 21:58

CuddleCryptid: Jan 11, 2013; Things could be going better

andrew smash posted:

the post claims that they are doctors but if you want to speculate go wild i guess. Totally possible that they are part of one of the many fields of quacks who award themselves doctoral degrees and insist on being called doctor (homeopath, naturopath, chiropractor, etc) but there's no specific indication that is the case.

More I meant that they might say that they are doctors but that qualification might not fly back home, even if they are actual MDs. There are a lot of places where you can get an MD that isn't worth the paper it's printed on if you try to use it in the States or whatever.

# ? May 31, 2018 22:02

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Side note: did reddit change their copy-paste? I don't have to insert newlines anymore.

My girlfriend [23/F] is terrified of getting pregnant. I'm [41/M] really at a loss as to what to do here.

quote:

Hello Reddit,

I really need your help. Sorry for any mistakes, english is not my native language.

For a little background, I've been with my girlfriend for two years. She's younger than me as you can see from the title. My relationship with her is not the first one I've ever had as you might expect. In fact, I have two kids from a previous relationship. Even so, we get along pretty well. She is my best friend, we are very honest with each other and have very similar personalities. We have the occasional fight but nothing ever extremely bad.

When we first met, I was still living with the mother of my children, which made my girlfriend suffer. However, that has changed because I moved to a new house to reassure her that I love her and that I want to make our relationship work, no matter what. As an aside, my girlfriend wasn't the reason me and the mother of my children separated. As a matter of fact, we were already separated when I first met my girlfriend. We just chose to remain in the same house for the sake of our children.

Now the problem is my girlfriend is terrified of getting pregnant. I've told her many times how much I would love to have kids with her and her way of responding to this is always extremely bad. I'm actually starting to believe that the way she responds to this matter is to hurt me on purpose, because everytime I ask her, she looks away from me with a sad facial expression as if to hide the truth. She tells me that I already have two kids and don't have the need to get another one, how having a kid with her would be a great mistake and that she would rather be a single mother than raising a child together with another man. I am really struggling to cope with this and it's gotten to the point where I prefer to not bring this issue up. What my girlfriend doesn't understand is that I'm getting older and getting afraid that I won't be able to wait for a much longer period of time to have another baby in case she ever changes her mind.

I don't think she dislikes being in the presence of kids, because she gets along with my children and takes very good care of them, almost as if they were her own. She's also usually excited to see someone's new born or child, so I'm really at a loss as to what to do here.

TL;DR: My girlfriend is terrified of getting pregnant. She has stated that she does want a child, but would rather be a single mother than raising a child with another man.

# ? May 31, 2018 22:14

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Side note: did reddit change their copy-paste? I don't have to insert newlines anymore.

My girlfriend [23/F] is terrified of getting pregnant. I'm [41/M] really at a loss as to what to do here.

the world is rank with these shitbags

# ? May 31, 2018 22:17

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Side note: did reddit change their copy-paste? I don't have to insert newlines anymore.

My girlfriend [23/F] is terrified of getting pregnant. I'm [41/M] really at a loss as to what to do here.

RUN GIRLFRIEND RUN

# ? May 31, 2018 22:17

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Side note: did reddit change their copy-paste? I don't have to insert newlines anymore.

My girlfriend [23/F] is terrified of getting pregnant. I'm [41/M] really at a loss as to what to do here.

The daddy issues you're a stand in for really just don't work if she has kids with you

# ? May 31, 2018 22:18

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

I've told her many times how much I would love to have kids with her

What is wrong with you, man?

# ? May 31, 2018 22:21

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

is that how you can pull someone out of their daddy issues? is this the trick?

# ? May 31, 2018 22:25

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Outrail posted:

My money is on this. His sex titties are being used for baby food and that's fucken wierd man.

I knew a woman who thought this way about her own boobs. It was the most bizarre thing...then again they had anime wall scrolls or whatever.

# ? May 31, 2018 22:29

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

A lot of new moms actually get weirded out over breast feeding feeling a little too good sometimes.

# ? May 31, 2018 22:43

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Kelly posted:

This isn't so salacious by r/r standards...but any guesses as to who the celebrity could be?

I (26f) am pregnant by a D/E list celebrity (20s/30sM) after just a few dates. I knew it was going nowhere but he's using his publicist and manager to talk to me and won't discuss options with me directly. I feel so alone and it's crushing me, I don't know what to do.

For some reason my mind immediately went to Paul Dano.

# ? May 31, 2018 22:48

Darkrenown: Jul 18, 2012; please give me anything to talk about besides the fact that democrats are allowing millions of americans to be evicted from their homes

Beachcomber posted:

Maybe he wants to contribute and she's hogging the baby. Not to get all , but that's pretty understandable.

Not really, if he just wants to get in on the feeding she can pump some milk and he can bottle feed it. Hell, he could go whole hog and wear a fake boob filled with her milk. It's probably a sex jealous thing or he's worried the baby is going to damage her tits, making her less fuckable.

# ? May 31, 2018 23:28

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Leon Einstein posted:

I think the internet is just breaking homo sapiens. What's with all the incest porn too? I mean, what the gently caress.

That poo poo was popular in the Victorian era. Seriously, they were super into weird poo poo like that.

It's not the internet breaking people, it's repressive poo poo.

# ? May 31, 2018 23:31

Darkrenown: Jul 18, 2012; please give me anything to talk about besides the fact that democrats are allowing millions of americans to be evicted from their homes

Midnight Voyager posted:

That poo poo was popular in the Victorian era. Seriously, they were super into weird poo poo like that.

Huh, you have reminded me I saw a film about that:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4184252/
(she leaves her husband due to his cuck fetish)

# ? May 31, 2018 23:40

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# ? May 15, 2024 04:12

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Milotic posted:

My parents (73) want to kick my brother (45) and his family out of their house

Lol, "My brother, the doctor, with the wife who is also apparently a doctor, and who has two children, and who has spent most of the last eleven years surviving in African hovels so he can cure disease and ease the suffering of less fortunate humans, is a 'failure to launch.'"

Mom is a coward. "We totally don't want to kick him out, and it's not about the money! We're worried about his fuuuuture." Nah. You don't like his choices, and you don't like having him in the basement. Just tell it like it is. You're not obligated to support your 40-something kids if you don't want to. She also sounds pretty unstable. She's going to sell the house she's lived in for forty years or whatever, rather than tell her son to move out?

Baronjutter posted:

I'd put money on it being exactly this. My friends had a mormon missionary couple staying in their basement suite who claimed to be doctors and just doing some missionary work in town before going off to the 3rd world to help cure people. One was a "doctor" of chiropractic and the other a "doctor" of natural medicine. Useless quacks off to hurt countries starving for real doctors.

I doubt it. The poster definitely mentions that if it's the case. He had the opportunity when he told about his brother saying, "No one wants to hire a doctor for only a year." If it is something like that, it will come out in the follow-up comments. Big reveals coming late seems to be something of a Reddit tradition.

Whorelord posted:

For some reason my mind immediately went to Paul Dano.

Paul Dano who acted lead across from one of the greatest actors of any generation? I don't think he's D-list.

Broken Lizard are also not D-list, plus they're all in their fifties.

# ? May 31, 2018 23:53

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