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Fatkraken posted:no, but then the term has been so misused as to become almost meaningless. From the movie/play, it is indeed a form of abuse where the abuser *deliberately* manipulates their victim into doubting their own sanity/memory of events. I've seen and heard it used for so many things that aren't that, generally it's some kind of psychological abuse, but not that specific (though I had to bite my tongue when a friend accused her not abusive partner of "gaslighting" during an argument in a group setting because he remembered the plot of a book slightly differently than her and had accidentally dropped a spoiler by not remembering something was revealed part way through rather than early on, she can be a bit of a drama queen when she's riled up) You should not have bitten your tongue and should've instead used the tongue to call her a moron
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Dec 6, 2018 13:40
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:Every goon should know the Pete story. It's not even that long, but every line is gold: I feel like this part should always be bolded: I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye." Pete owns.
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Dec 6, 2018 13:45
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Cat Army
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I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read.
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Dec 6, 2018 14:01
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big trivia FAIL posted:i'm teaching mine to just punch the bully right in the nose and keep punching. This is what I did with my kids. They both got in trouble but, surprise surprise, the bullying stopped.
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Dec 6, 2018 14:01
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Blade Runner posted:You should not have bitten your tongue and should've instead used the tongue to call her a moron she was already having a semi-meltdown in a sushi restaurant, she's generally fine but she can get in a flap when she thinks she's been wronged. Also it was another friend's birthday and I didn't want to spoil things more than the argument already was :/ in the end it was a storm in a teacup but it wasn't comfortable for a while
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Dec 6, 2018 14:04
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computer angel posted:I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read. It wouldn't be the first time someone spat out something they had read about relationship boundaries unaware of how it would be received by a real person
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Dec 6, 2018 14:17
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computer angel posted:I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read. I mentally start reading her voice faster and more frantically when she does the abuser stuff and it totally works as if she's been repeating some received wisdom. Fatkraken posted:storm in a teacup You did this deliberately to trigger people like me, didn't you?
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Dec 6, 2018 14:19
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computer angel posted:I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read. nah, it's probably the one i have the least trouble believing
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Dec 6, 2018 14:21
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computer angel posted:I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read. It was and is a frequent r/relationships slogan
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Dec 6, 2018 14:22
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Beachcomber posted:You did this deliberately to trigger people like me, didn't you? I didn't, am I misusing the phrase? EDIT: I checked and yeah, I guess I am, I'll stop doing that 
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Dec 6, 2018 14:28
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:It was and is a frequent r/relationships slogan Yeah fine but I think the inclusion of these obnoxiously grating woke sounding slogans in complete sentences is the perfect way to illicit support for Pete. There's not even conflict or grey area, it's just The Most Annoying Person Ever vs Pete.
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Dec 6, 2018 14:29
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They posted on Reddit
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Dec 6, 2018 14:31
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Whorelord posted:They posted on Reddit Yeah? I don't understand what you're saying. My impression is that Pete wrote the post. And its a shame because I love a swift no nonsense breakup as much as the next guy.
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Dec 6, 2018 14:33
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its better to just consider it a good parable if there isn't room for pete in your heart
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Dec 6, 2018 14:34
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I'm saying if you're having trouble believing the nost annoying person in the world posted on Reddit I don't know what to tell you
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Dec 6, 2018 14:35
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Whorelord posted:I'm saying if you're having trouble believing the nost annoying person in the world posted on Reddit I don't know what to tell you I mean we frequently debate the legitimacy of these posts. Anyway I like the idea of Pete.
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Dec 6, 2018 14:37
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computer angel posted:I feel like the Pete story is fake or was written by Pete. Only the worst strawman sjw says poo poo like "I told him ultimatums were tools of abusers". Its just such an unnatural read. You shut your mouth, no one bad mouths Pete!
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Dec 6, 2018 14:43
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It isn't the historicity of Pete that matters, it's what Pete means to you!
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Dec 6, 2018 14:47
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Whorelord posted:If you're having trouble believing the most annoying person in the world posted on Reddit I don't know what to tell you
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Dec 6, 2018 14:52
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Girlfriend (31F) mentioned she had cheated on her previous boyfriend. She also has a secret tinder.quote:She us currently living in France. I (27M) was living there with her, but am back in the US to visit my parents for December. Ahh yes, the classic 'I did a lovely thing, but it's really your fault,' defence.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:01
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My [30] girlfriend [28] cheated on me, Is that enough reason for a break up?quote:I was in a bad situation for a long time. This year was a wonderful year for me. I got a good job, I was able to save up some money to buy a decent ring for my girlfriend. I was thinking of proposing her for marriage soon. Yesterday, we were at a restaurant, we were taking pictures in her Snapchat app. Suddenly a notification came up from tinder. It threw me off guard. I demanded to check her tinder profile out and I found out that she has been cheating, she dated two guys. She confessed it and said sorry. What is it with these pathetic puddles on r/relationship_advice? Girlfriend wants a gangbang without me - wat do? Girlfriend has been cheating on me - do I still propose? Girlfriend has literally zero respect for our relationship - how much should I spend on the engagement ring? 
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Dec 6, 2018 15:07
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computer angel posted:Yeah? I don't understand what you're saying.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:09
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i like nice words
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Anne Whateley posted:agreed fwiw *looks at username*
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Dec 6, 2018 15:13
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Theophany posted:My [30] girlfriend [28] cheated on me, Is that enough reason for a break up? I mean in this case he explains it, she was legitimately good to him for a long time and earned an important place in his thoughts. That place just wasn't important to her. Dude needs to  but it will be hard for him.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:22
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what a non-cynical world we live in, where even the pete story gets called into question over 'someone can't really be that stupid and oblivious as to how bad they come off' disgusting
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Dec 6, 2018 15:24
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pete believes in you
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Dec 6, 2018 15:25
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MightyJoe36 posted:This is what I did with my kids. They both got in trouble but, surprise surprise, the bullying stopped. yeah - i mean i'd rather my kid get suspended for 3 days than spend years being abused at school
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Dec 6, 2018 15:27
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I cheated on my fat wife once so she cheated back at me
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Dec 6, 2018 15:28
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Open your heart and accept Pete into it and yours will be the kingdom of heaven.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:28
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Beachcomber posted:Is she using the term "gaslighting" correctly here? I thought it was when someone made you doubt your sanity/memory.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:38
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Tricky D posted:Open your heart and accept Pete into it and yours will be the kingdom of heaven. once you dump god like a true pete
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Dec 6, 2018 15:45
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Pete rings true since a 30 year old well adjusted person will cut a 6 month relationship if they find incompatibility.
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Dec 6, 2018 15:48
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Gaslighting pretty much exclusively means “failing to enable” these days. “My partner is telling me not to quit my well-paying position as a museum director to launch my dream small business: selling corks for the assholes of elderly incontinent dogs. Is he a gaslighting abuser?”
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Dec 6, 2018 15:49
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Really torn between being jealous of these dudes lecturing everyone about how idiots are just a Bigfoot hoax and feeling for them for when they learn about poo poo like the inevitability of death and how the universe doesn't care if things are "fair"
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Dec 6, 2018 15:50
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:Really torn between being jealous of these dudes lecturing everyone about how idiots are just a Bigfoot hoax and feeling for them for when they learn about poo poo like the inevitability of death and how the universe doesn't care if things are "fair" You are having quite an extreme reaction. Relax. I don't disagree idiots exist. I just feel like key elements of the story are really hammed up for the schadenfreude aspect. Such as texting her ex and his response basically being "oh i don't care I just wanted to gently caress you anyway". The line could have been finessed a little more. I'm not really sure how the universe not being fair is relevant?
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Dec 6, 2018 15:58
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I (19M) wanted to take my relationship with long-distance FWB (23M) to the next level, but his disturbing behavior is making me have doubtsquote:Quick background (no real names used) - I was waiting for the Battlestar Galactica bait-and-switch, but it never came
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Dec 6, 2018 16:06
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lol that lady wont survive until 30. *sees forest of red flags* *assumes its a Chinese parade*
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Dec 6, 2018 16:12
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computer angel posted:You are having quite an extreme reaction. Relax. I don't disagree idiots exist. I just feel like key elements of the story are really hammed up for the schadenfreude aspect. Such as texting her ex and his response basically being "oh i don't care I just wanted to gently caress you anyway". The line could have been finessed a little more. I'm not really sure how the universe not being fair is relevant? I'm something of an expert on hill-death and lemme tell ya I dunno if this is the one Tryke posted:I (19M) wanted to take my relationship with long-distance FWB (23M) to the next level, but his disturbing behavior is making me have doubts Is stabbing people in a fit of passion something you can still get away with if you are an artist named Gaius or is that a relic of the absinthe days
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Dec 6, 2018 16:14
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Its good enough for America's Sweetheart's husband, Jay-Z
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Dec 6, 2018 16:18
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To be fair I would expect anyone named Gaius to have a low stabbing threshold
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Dec 6, 2018 16:33
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