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Theres no good outcome to "face full of cum" outside of mom looking through her rolodex and and finding the porn videographer she knows and giving the kids his business card.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 00:39 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 12:34 |
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Haifisch posted:Is it legal to make a citizens arrest when someone trespasses on my property? WA STATE https://youtube.com/watch?v=hY7eii0SoGk
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 00:46 |
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:lmao I forgot about the trip to the zoo I'm the husband's thousand yard stare as the largest gorilla in the exhibit stops immediately in front of their viewing platform and begins to squat in preparation for creaming out a single massive straining turd. My marriage is dead.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 00:46 |
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FAUXTON posted:there's almost certainly more to the story, no nurse would be like "here, take this sedative now while you're holding the baby and just call whenever you're nodding off" I'm guessing it went "finish up and call me before taking this so we can get the baby wrapped up and settled" and she was like "yeah whatever" and downed the meds either out of routine or sheer not giving a gently caress. A whole bunch of people in the r/bestoflegaladvice thread about it were talking about how they'd had similar situations, with nurses shaming them for wanting to have them take the baby to the nursery so they could sleep, despite being unable to keep themselves awake due to exhaustion. Apparently they're pushing the importance of bonding with your baby to a point where some hospitals don't even have nurseries. Also, I'm pretty sure it's against most hospitals' policies for a nurse to give meds to a patient and not make sure they take them. That might just be in hospitals I've been to though. CheesyDog posted:Mushroom trip gave me confusing insight into my sexuality -- How do I understand this? (self.sex) lmao what Haifisch posted:Is it legal to make a citizens arrest when someone trespasses on my property? WA STATE
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:00 |
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r/tifu •Posted byu/AccidentalxIncest 15 hours ago TIFU by finding out I've been accidentally dating and loving my half-sister, after taking a 23andme DNA test quote:(EDIT 2)Proof:(https://i.imgur.com/Z0zm9xi.png)
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:02 |
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Araenna posted:A whole bunch of people in the r/bestoflegaladvice thread about it were talking about how they'd had similar situations, with nurses shaming them for wanting to have them take the baby to the nursery so they could sleep, despite being unable to keep themselves awake due to exhaustion. Apparently they're pushing the importance of bonding with your baby to a point where some hospitals don't even have nurseries. This is so weird to me because I only know about hospital nurseries from American media. As far as I know this is a American / North America thing. Here you have your baby in a hospital crib right beside you because it's your drat baby and you are supposed to take care of your drat baby and get to know it and hold it and bond. (I mean to be fair with the budget cuts you just get send home even if it's your first child, but I spend a couple of days after my first child was born in a hospital facility and not once was my child not with me or the father) I always wondered about the "looking at lots of babies" in TV and movies... Sorry if this starts som kind of derail it's just so strange to me.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:12 |
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Relationshit_that_didn't_happen.txt
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:12 |
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My (16f) mom (31) doesn’t care that her boyfriend (35) kicked my dogquote:I got my dog as a Christmas present from my Dad two years ago. My Mom has been dating this guy since like last year and he already lives with us. I don’t like him at all and my dog doesn’t like him either. We like to say so it is nice to see it actually attempted. In the comments everyone is telling her to go live with her dad. The reason she never asked him before is she was afraid she could not take the dog overseas. Someone with a happy ending to a similar situation in the comments: quote:I was in practically the exact same situation 4-5 years ago. My step father abused both my mother and dog, and it in turn changed both of them. I stopped going to school so that I could stay home 24/7 to shield him, my dog is terrified of men, and will try to bite them of they come too close. It isn’t my dogs fault, and I wish I could’ve removed him from the situation sooner, it’s a situation that I constantly regret keeping myself in for so long. My dad also offered for me to come live with him, which I agreed to in secret without telling them and ran from the house with some belongings and my dog while they were away. My mother and step father were furious, but me and my dog were safe. I never had to see or hear him be hurt ever again. It’s hard, very very hard. But if I didn’t... I too would’ve almost committed murder. Believeee me did I ever contemplate it. And the stepdad or a similar rear end in a top hat who needs to get hit in the head with a bat: quote:Seems like there are lots of problems here to sort through. Why would your dad give you a dog as a christmas present when you don't live with him? That's a lovely thing to do to your mother. I'm surprised she let you keep it!
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:48 |
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La Brea Carpet posted:I [25M] am very uncomfortable with a sex fantasy my girlfriend [26F] has. I read this like 3 times before I took in that she wanted to call him racial slurs, not the other way around. What was kind of sad is now at worst funny
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:06 |
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Allow me to present to you some Dhalsim-level contortions about what yoga is: My (24 M) girlfriend (26 F) is doing sex with her yoga teacher, but insists it is "a new type of yoga" and I am wrong to be jealous. What should I do? u/Yoga_Question_2 quote:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 14 months, but it came to my attention a few weeks ago that for at least 2 months or so she has been having sex with her yoga instructor. I want my gf to stop having sex with her yoga teacher but I do not to ruin her class. Anyone have any way to just accept cheating as yoga? Xenocides fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Jan 13, 2019 |
# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:13 |
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That is a troll post but I want to believe.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:15 |
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that is like a breath freshener after that one where girl should just john wick that guy. with a pencil
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:16 |
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Kak posted:r/tifu quote:I just logged back in and didn't really expect this post to blow up. Liar.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:18 |
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sneakyfrog posted:that is like a breath freshener after that one where girl should just john wick that guy. Yeah, I felt guilty so I went on a hunt for something lighter.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:20 |
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Yeah, the 16 year old with a badly trained dog, rage issues, and a persecution complex. The very image of a reliable narrator.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:23 |
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tactlessbastard posted:Yeah, the 16 year old with a badly trained dog, rage issues, and a persecution complex. The very image of a reliable narrator. Do you also treat Pomeranians as footballs?
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:26 |
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tactlessbastard posted:Yeah, the 16 year old with a badly trained dog, rage issues, and a persecution complex. The very image of a reliable narrator. otoh he kicked an animal so gently caress that guy
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:27 |
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you dont kick dogs.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:27 |
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It's a house full of assholes. Xenocides posted:Do you also treat Pomeranians as footballs? You punch dogs, idiot
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:28 |
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sneakyfrog posted:you dont kick dogs. Yeah, we already established that you punch them Edit: damnit
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:32 |
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Should I [22/F] be the one to turn my boyfriend [24/M] into a man? A boring story about trying to get her boyfriend to do chores but the title amused me.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:42 |
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Weatherwax posted:This is so weird to me because I only know about hospital nurseries from American media. As far as I know this is a American / North America thing. Here you have your baby in a hospital crib right beside you because it's your drat baby and you are supposed to take care of your drat baby and get to know it and hold it and bond. Not everyone is capable of taking care of their baby by themselves immediately after birth, for medical reasons or otherwise. Especially if they don't have a support system with them. If the father or other family is around to help that's one thing, but plenty of people don't have that, at least not right away. The people I know who gave birth in hospitals without nurseries said it just made the whole situation even more stressful. In regards to the story, I'm assuming the lady was on a lot more drugs than just seroquel. edit: I can see how in other countries this might not be as necessary because they probably have actual parental leave available. Here in America I know plenty of fathers who literally could not take time off (or maybe a day at the most) to help take care of their newborn baby because they would get fired. Or mothers who have to go back as soon as they get out of the hospital. wizardofloneliness fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Jan 13, 2019 |
# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:48 |
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Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:Not everyone is capable of taking care of their baby by themselves immediately after birth, for medical reasons or otherwise. Especially if they don't have a support system with them. If the father or other family is around to help that's one thing, but plenty of people don't have that, at least not right away. The people I know who gave birth in hospitals without nurseries said it just made the whole situation even more stressful. Additionally, the infant is also a patient of the hospital that they have a vested interest in keeping alive. It's not like after they clean the baby off they slap it on the rear end and say 'good luck out there, champ! Hope momma there that just went through a major medical procedure is feeling spry!' weatherwax posted:Here you have your baby in a hospital crib right beside you because it's your drat baby and you are supposed to take care of your drat baby and get to know it and hold it and bond. It's like that here, too.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:57 |
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Grape posted:llllllol at the European dude a few pages ago insisting that walking around with cum on your face in front of someone's mom is totally normal in most of the first world. The what? Link please i am fone posting...
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:08 |
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:The what? Link please i am fone posting... Power Khan posted:Idk, if this was Pakistan or the US, the mom would probably start screeching or something, in the rest of the industrialized world mom wouldn't even look up and boredly say "don't get it into your eyes, sweetie"
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:23 |
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EIDE Van Hagar posted:The what? Link please i am fone posting... This person comes spends so much time consuming porn that they have begun to think everyone else lives in endless porn fantasies complete with horrible acting and everyone having a Bdsm dungeon in their basement.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:26 |
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Xenocides posted:Allow me to present to you some Dhalsim-level contortions about what yoga is: We're not really loving. He's just resetting my chi and adjusting my chakra.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:53 |
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Really though you're options are she is cheating or she is dumb enough to believe that loving is a type of yoga so there's no reason to stay.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:55 |
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Xenocides posted:Allow me to present to you some Dhalsim-level contortions about what yoga is: If you, like me, were wondering what /u/Yoga_Question (the original) was posting about, then let me assure you that it was truly as mundane as you might imagine: https://www.reddit.com/user/Yoga_Question
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:59 |
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Kak posted:r/tifu You've already popped the cork, might as well drink the wine.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 04:12 |
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There's a totally real yoga massage that basically a rub n tug for ladies Maybe that's what the yoga instructor is doing? #equality
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 04:27 |
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dudeness posted:Really though you're options are she is cheating or she is dumb enough to believe that loving is a type of yoga so there's no reason to stay. dude why do you think the positions have names like Downward Dog and Cobra? Yoga's all about fuckin'
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 04:37 |
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My [21F] husband [25M] posted to reddit about us having a threesome, then sent nude photos of us to a responder. Am I crazy to be feeling violated?quote:Hello r/relationships, I made a throwaway for this for I guess obvious reasons. I'm posting via mobile so apologies for any formatting issues. We've been together for 1.5 years, married for just under 1 month.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:00 |
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Gluten Freeman posted:My [21F] husband [25M] posted to reddit about us having a threesome, then sent nude photos of us to a responder. Am I crazy to be feeling violated? Of loving course people on reddit would read that (well 'read' it) and proposition her. Ugh.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:06 |
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dudeness posted:Really though you're options are she is cheating or she is dumb enough to believe that loving is a type of yoga so there's no reason to stay. or she’s cheating and wants to see if you’re dumb enough to believe that loving is a type of yoga
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:08 |
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My [22M] girlfriend [21F] says I don't trust her family because I won't take her luggagequote:Last month my girlfriend of one year and I went on a month long overseas holiday to Europe for a vacation and to see her family (cousins and grand-parents). She has seen them before many times but this was this first time I would have been meeting them. For the past week she had been struggling to pack everything she had needed (carrying gifts for her family). I had packed everything I needed in a smaller suitcase and still had space left over. I had offered to take anything she couldn't fit in her suitcase. The night before we left she said I needed to come down to her place in the morning to get a few items she couldn't fit. I happily agreed. A few hours later she rang me asking me if I could repack my luggage into a bigger suitcase her family had bought (for me - hoping I would use it. Without telling me). My parents weren't too keen on that and didn't like her saying I should use her suitcase. While they didn't think she may have tampered with it, they said they would prefer if I used my own suitcase. They told me they would be like that with anyone. While I'm not proud of how tactfully I delivered the opinion, the news was not received well. She said I don't trust her family at all, that this is a red flag in our relationship and she will never be able to get over it. At 3am that morning we said we were getting on the flight but we didn't know where our relationship stood.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:09 |
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Gluten Freeman posted:My [22M] girlfriend [21F] says I don't trust her family because I won't take her luggage lol what a dipshit
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:15 |
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Gluten Freeman posted:My [22M] girlfriend [21F] says I don't trust her family because I won't take her luggage These people are both crazy. The boyfriend's family is also really weird. "Relationship implodes over completely inane nonsensical argument" posts are always my favorite. My personal favorite is the one where they break up because the girl and her mom relentlessly make fun of the boyfriend for putting the milk in first when making cereal.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:21 |
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Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:These people are both crazy. The boyfriend's family is also really weird. If you put the milk in first, you should probably be sent to a reeducation camp anyway, so I feel like any means short of that is a really gentle approach.
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:28 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 12:34 |
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Gluten Freeman posted:My [22M] girlfriend [21F] says I don't trust her family because I won't take her luggage they need to stay together lest they risk contaminating anyone else with this inane bullshit
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# ? Jan 13, 2019 05:35 |