13Pandora13 posted:

The key is to find a condom that has best fitment and material for you put a little bit of condom-safe lube in it before you put it on just buy little 3-packs of like 4 brands and spend a couple extra bucks for a not lovely lube jesus christ goons please wrap your dicks the world does not need more of us.

OMGVBFLOL posted:

i wouldn't buy a tube of it but it works fine for the little amount that the condom comes pre-lubed with

also dont gently caress dry pussies buy a tube of cheap water-based lube what the hell

safeway and walgreens both have store brands, it's that fuckin' common and cheap jfc

Batterypowered7 posted:

I think condoms and lube are cool and good, my dude. I was just expressing concern about the irritating qualities of spermicidal lube in particular. Dudes should just go to a urologist and have them go to town down there, just scramble them the gently caress up or whatever they do.

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

Sorry about your broken penis dude. I agree that they work and use them if you need them but wow.

OMGVBFLOL posted:

all other things being equal, breastmilk is better for hormonal, immunological, and microbiotic reasons

but

the kid's already nine months old and all the solid science to back up the above statement starts getting fuzzy around six months. if the kid's been on the boob for nine months, what benefits there are to have, have been had.

also

all other things being equal, don't fuckin' emotionally abuse your partner you idiot gently caress
i want to fire this sumbitch out a second story window what the hell

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22 year old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him. His job is a high paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident we let him take a 1 month paid leave of absence from work and he's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, out reaching to prospects for the last 2-3 weeks enough since he's come back. Our whole mgmt team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we can't just wait that long.

We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go gently caress ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.

I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my mgmt team are a bunch of asses and pricks with no hearts.

AITA?

quote:

My parents both worked a poo poo ton when I was a kid. Like 60 hours a week, each. I spent all my time in after school programs because my mom didn’t have the time to pick me up, or be a room mom, or do any of that stuff. I told my mom recently that I tucking hate her for never being there for me. She said she was sorry but then she called me sexist because my dad also wasn’t there, but my dad was doing as he should to provide and my mother did not nurture me as she should. My dad was working so much that my mom didn’t need to work too, she did it for herself instead of thinking of me and what I needed. I am not speaking to her currently because of her response. Am I the rear end in a top hat for cutting her out for her behavior?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I announced my pregnancy at my sister’s gender reveal?

Hellblazer187 posted:

Wait, someone posts in AITA and people get banned for answering the drat question? lol reddit. Imagine going to a cooking forum and asking "hey can I substitute olive oil in this recipe" and people are like "yes you can" and it's objectively true but they get banned for fulfilling the very purpose of the forum and the thread.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22 year old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him. His job is a high paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident we let him take a 1 month paid leave of absence from work and he's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, out reaching to prospects for the last 2-3 weeks enough since he's come back. Our whole mgmt team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we can't just wait that long.

We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go gently caress ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.

I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my mgmt team are a bunch of asses and pricks with no hearts.

AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA because I’m furious that my SIL tattooed my kids’ names on her body?

*edit/info for clarification: I didn’t cancel the vacation and won’t. It just makes me want to not see her.

I think it’s disturbing that my sister-in-law, who has a long-distance, limited relationship with our children, had their names tattooed on her arm. She did not ask us how we felt, just posted a picture on social media once it was done. She has no children of her own, but is still in her child-bearing years. She is not a close beloved aunt of my children- they see her once a year and talk to her briefly on holidays. They never talk about her or ask about her between those times. They like her well enough, but she likes to lecture them and attempt to parent them, so a little of her goes a long way.

She is going to expect us to all oooh and ahh about this tattoo. I have nothing nice to say. I am not flattered, I feel violated. I feel like it glorifies tattoos (something neither I or their father have, though this isn’t about tattoos in general-it’s about tattoos of my kids’ names. To each their own on tattoos). More importantly, it glorifies her relationship with our kids. She barely knows them, and doesn’t spend time with them when we do visit. On our last visit, she sent our kids to McDonalds with her friend and didn’t join them. She later used a photo the friend took of my sons eating, and posted it as if she HAD been there. It’s crazy. Instead of the cost of a tattoo (this tattoo is huge BTW), how about a plane ticket to visit the children you claim to love so much? She talks about my children taking care of her when she’s in a nursing home... why would they? They will be busy with their own families, and taking care of their parents!

I was so mad when I saw the tattoo that I told my husband I wanted to cancel our upcoming vacation to see her (and their grandparents). I have been taking my anger out on him, which is probably unfair but I feel his lack of communication with them leads to this kind of crazy. AITA because I think tattooing my kids’ names on her body is weird? Am I supposed to feel flattered? I feel like if anyone is going to tattoo my kids’ names on their body is should be me or my husband!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22 year old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him. His job is a high paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident we let him take a 1 month paid leave of absence from work and he's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, out reaching to prospects for the last 2-3 weeks enough since he's come back. Our whole mgmt team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we can't just wait that long.

We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go gently caress ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.

I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my mgmt team are a bunch of asses and pricks with no hearts.

AITA?

artsy fartsy posted:

I think this lady is the perfect amount of peeved and vindictive to just go ahead and change her children's names.

Grape posted:

Y'know what pisses me off about this one isn't even so much the firing, as the being indignant at being disrespected after firing him.
Like if they had the stones to do the lovely thing and at least take the expected reaction they'd still be the assholes, but also being all "WELL I NEVER!" just gently caress you, gently caress you.

Beachcomber posted:

That, but it also seems like no one gave him a warning. Like, a heads up that you're not doing your job and firing is being considered.

Straight White Shark posted:

Yeah, telling them "sorry about your dead folks but you gotta buck the gently caress up and get to work" is already being a hardass, firing them without a warning shot is just inhuman.

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

of all the weird digs in this thread, this is...at least top 10 weirdest

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for arguing with my dad about finding my underwear in his closet?

Xik posted:

Pretty sure this thread has given me brain worms. Reading this I thought it was going to be "dad sniffing daughters underwear", but was relieved when it was "just" another run of the mill dude trying to control what his daughter and wife wears.

13Pandora13 posted:

lol you believe the dad's cover story

Norton the First posted:

So, like, all penises aren't exactly the same? And all males don't share the same subjective experience when wearing a condom?

Weird. No, more than weird. Completely implausible.

Fatkraken posted:

quote:

Ok, so let’s say person A and person B. Person B told me that she wants to become a boy called Ben. Person A told me that person B hates being a girl. There were also lots of rumours about person B transitioning. I genuinely believed them.

A month or so later, person A makes a thing on Instagram saying ‘ship for ship’ everyone is shipping her with this random dude (Who was not person B). I wanted to spice things up and so, without thinking, I typed ‘I ship you with person B!’

Person A sent me a DM saying that person B was NOT becoming a boy, and that I was lying for attention. She also said that both her and person B were both really upset that i shopped them together. I sent 8+ messages saying that I genuinely thought she was gender-switching, and that I was really sorry. Tbh I probably sent too many sorry messages. Person A said ‘bye’ and unfollowed and blocked me, and stopped talking to me irl. I haven’t heard from person B either.

AITA?

Hellblazer187 posted:

I'm way too loving old to understand that shipping one.

quote:

The title is pretty self explanatory, but I’ll try to explain how and why. Bare with me on this....

It started about 10 years ago when I visited Thailand with my girlfriend at the time, and a lot of jokes were made about Thai massages and “happy endings”. At the time I was with a great girl and we had a great sex life. I don’t know why, but I became really curious about the taboo-ness of getting a handjob after a massage by a pretty Thai girl. Nothing happened on that trip.

Fast forward 2 years and I was in Bali with a different girlfriend. She got sick and was staying in the hospital. I was by myself and had nothing to do, and the idea of getting a happy ending popped into my head. We had gotten a few massages together and the hands on my thighs made me extremely turned on and I really liked the thrill of it. I googled it and found that many people get into cabs and ask for them to take them to an erotic massage place and wait for you until you finish (as they can be in dodgy out of the way areas).

I was nervous and picked the girl out of a line up, she took me to a hall with rooms off to the side and into a very bright room, lit with fluorescent lights. No music, no warm towels, nothing special. Not like the other couples massages we got. We haggled on the price (I paid too much, I had no idea what I was doing) and then I got naked, and proceeded to get an underwhelming massage, followed by an unenthusiastic handjob. I left there feeling dirty and ripped off, and extremely guilty. I told myself I didn’t like it.

But then for some reason, my narcissism took over and I thought “its because those girls weren’t happy there and I didn’t get to charm them. I should try again somewhere else and find happier, prettier girls”. I thought that if I found girls that found me attractive and were keen on me then it would be more fulfilling.

I also told myself that because my relationship was rocky and we fought all the time and I felt emasculated by her, it was a way for me to get back at her and feel better about myself.

From that point I was getting massages all the time. Probably once or twice a fortnight. Sometimes I would pay $60 + $50 for the service, sometimes I would get it for free, once I paid $250 for a nuru and prostate massage.

My girlfriend eventually found out from some texts and she broke up with me. I swore I would stop. But now I was single, so I could do it guilt free. So I didn’t stop getting them. I would always feel disgusting and that I wasted my money and I was a bad person. But nobody in my life knew so I didn’t have any consequences for my actions. So I kept doing it. For another 3-4 years.

Then I met my current girlfriend. She’s amazing, caring, and an absolute smoke show. There is not relationship-based reason for me to go now - our relationship is perfect, my life is much better and I am seriously happy.

But I am still addicted to getting these massages. Today I spent $153 and got a massage with a naked handjob. Whilst getting them I feel fine, even though I think about all the reasons I should be there, I just ignore it and enjoy the feeling of the girls hands on my body. The horniness takes over. But as soon as I cum, I hate myself, I hate that I do it, and I really want to stop.

I think of myself as a really nice guy, with a great life and an amazing girlfriend. I’m not unattractive, I’m fit and I am relatively successful. Life is good. But I am still addicted to them and I really don’t want to be.

Please help.

TL;DR: I got an erotic massage to spite a manipulative ex-girlfriend years ago, but now I have a great life and amazing girlfriend and I really want to stop. I hate feeling this way.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not killing a spider in the shower for my gf?

MasBrillante posted:

I like that it’s been ten years but “my manipulative ex girlfriend” is still a title-level detail.

LadyPictureShow posted:

I [27M] got an erotic massage 8 years ago to spite my manipulative ex-girlfriend [28F] of 3 years and now I’m addicted to them. I want to stop, but I don’t know how.

quote:

Don't write me off as a crazy hippie just yet! I'm a 39yo woman who owns a graphic/web design business with a good staff, so I have a lot of downtime. My sister has a wonderful 13yo who I adore and spend a lot of time with. Sister had an unexpected and complicated pregnancy, and our parents both passed away when we were teens, so they lived with me for the first 7ish years of her life, and they still have "their rooms" at my place. They live one block away.

I was briefly married, it ended very amicably. 13yo knows and loves him too. It's likely he will come back and settle down with me again, but his business took him all over the place and he felt weird being attached while being away for 6+ months at a time. I decided a long time ago that I didn't want kids, got myself fixed. I date occasionally (men & women), but it's never been a big thing for me. I love my life.

About two weeks ago, 13yo and I were sitting on the patio. She started asking questions about me, my life, etc. They ranged from "why don't you always shave your legs like mom does" and "why don't you have kids" and "when will you get married and have your own family?"

I gave her honest answers to each question that boiled down to: girl I just don't want to. That really surprised her, and she kept asking "But don't you have to?" and "But everyone else does." and "but don't other people make fun of you?"

Finally, I told her something like, "You don't always have to do what society tells you. Like yeah, you have to obey traffic laws, and don't go around being mean to people. But shaving? Nah. Getting married? Lot's of people don't! Having kids? You don't have to if you don't want to." I then spouted some hippie rear end bullshit about "Your life belongs to you and you alone, don't ever let anyone pressure you to be someone you aren't. So if you WANT to shave your legs, don't let me change your mind. But know it's your choice."

She became very contemplative about things, asked some more questions, but eventually she told me about school crushes and poo poo.

I thought the conversation was totally fine until my sister came over and yelled at me for trying to turn her kid into some "hairy lesbian" who will never give her grandkids. I tried to explain that's not at all what I did but she completely blew up at me and told me they needed a break from me. They're usually over every few days or so, but it's been quiet. I'm very sad about it, but I honestly don't feel like I did anything wrong.

Did I, though?