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Coaaab posted:Well, the reasonable assumption is that the guy is bigger than the girl and could more damage to her than she could do to him, especially when you mix anger into the equation It's been pointed out, but since you quoted me...that shouldn't matter really. We have absolutely no information other than a slap happened (we don't know how hard, where or what the physical makeup of either of them are), so saying anything other than it was a lovely thing to do is taking some liberties. He should definitely be seeking therapy and should cover what lead to physical violence in those sessions. Blade Runner posted:He's definitely garbage for hitting her, but acting like he's a serial abuser because he did it after she cheated on him twice is kinda silly Yeah, that's where I'm super confused at so many people continuing to blame him...it was entirely reasonable for him to break up with her and she clearly didn't care enough to not cheat on even after getting caught once.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:03
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Cat Army 
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Sagebrush posted:Is that actually enough protein for a human being for the entire day? I mean that's basically what they give you on a crappy airline yeah, nuts are super high in calories, fat, and protein. food charities use specially packaged peanut butter as an immediate food source to alleviate famine. you wouldn't want to live off it though unless you are actually starving or your guts have been afflicted by a witches curse
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Sep 4, 2019 16:04
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Ouhei posted:It's been pointed out, but since you quoted me...that shouldn't matter really. We have absolutely no information other than a slap happened (we don't know how hard, where or what the physical makeup of either of them are), so saying anything other than it was a lovely thing to do is taking some liberties. He should definitely be seeking therapy and should cover what lead to physical violence in those sessions.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:16
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La Brea Carpet posted:I want to break up with my bf because of his severe nut allergy When the best solution to saving your relationship is to spend the least amount of time as possible together it's time to end it. "Studying different majors" is irrelevant when the conversation you're having is about marriage and beyond.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:18
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Rubellavator posted:I take issue with you putting them both on the same level here. That's okay. I didn't say they were the same tier of poo poo, just going by the YTA/NAH/NTA, etc. categories. Dunno if we can meaningfully compare levels of emotional vs physical abuse from the one-sided slapper's account, though.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:19
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Dienes posted:I had sympathy until he hit her. You're a stupid rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:22
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Hobo Clown posted:When the best solution to saving your relationship is to spend the least amount of time as possible together it's time to end it. "Studying different majors" is irrelevant when the conversation you're having is about marriage and beyond. I think a big issue is that a lot of people think someone has to be in the wrong for a breakup to happen, because they mostly run on inertia and they expect that something has to come up to stop that That's why she puts the blame on him for his allergies instead of acknowledging her own more, why she can't fathom just saying "well it's lovely but we don't really have a choice, see ya", and why a lot of people stay in failing relationships with morons. Hell, it's even the big reason why a lot of people think relationship court is a thing, where "no you can't break up with me" or "well yeah I don't like them anymore but..." comes up.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:23
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gonna slice through the epistemological fog here and suggest that for our purposes we can conclude the serial cheater who used her suicide to take a final swipe at her ex is probably "the bad guy"
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Sep 4, 2019 16:25
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Pinecone Sample posted:My Husband [39M] knows about my [36F] 6 month long affair but hasn't told me. What can I do? This one is almost certainly another painful example of some wackadoo MRA jerkoff cuckold fantasy.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:26
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thatguy posted:lasagna is nothing more than slop laid down in lifts and then thrown in an oven, it's garbage food for garbage people. Also permesan and ricotta are dogshit What a sad post.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:30
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Grape posted:What a sad post. Are you kidding? It's the hot take equivalent of throwing down a glove. It's beautifully crafted to cause a screaming, stupid argument.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:33
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Lt. Danger posted:gonna slice through the epistemological fog here and suggest that for our purposes we can conclude the serial cheater who used her suicide to take a final swipe at her ex is probably "the bad guy" Ugh, I didn't even think about that, it really was one last middle finger to the guy Being an rear end in a top hat from beyond the grave
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Sep 4, 2019 16:33
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Dienes posted:I had sympathy until he hit her. I know right, she dodged a bullet getting out when she did.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:35
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I dont like to judge people who have had the emotional equivalent of having a train run over them not once, but twice, for not responding perfectly. I think reducing what happened to just him being angry and hitting her is bullshit and ignorant of the context. If he had confessed to beating her or if it were a frequent thing in their relationship I'd probably be calling him just as lovely. As it stands, hes probably going to need lots of therapy and hes probably going to have severe trust issues. Domestic abuse is wrong but I have an extremely hard time qualifying what he did as abuse when hes so clearly the one being abused here.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:37
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Care and Feeding - My Friend Equates Her Stepmom Experience With My Natural Motherhood and It Drives Me Crazyquote:Dear Care and Feeding, quote:Dear JaRM,
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Sep 4, 2019 16:39
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Dear Prudence and Dear Wendy - My friend is getting married just for the bachelor party!quote:My friend is getting married, and I am worried that he doesn’t grasp the magnitude of the commitment he’s making. He’s Greek, so his attitude on marriage may not be the same as mine, but of even greater concern is the possibility that he’s only going through with it because he wants us to throw him a bachelor party. My friend has always loved a guys’ night out—”bro time,” as he calls it—and as many of the guys in our friend group have married or entered serious relationships, these parties happen less frequently. The rest of us are comfortable inviting our wives and girlfriends for a night on the town, but he wants it to be all guys. Bachelor parties are one of the only times he gets his way, and he loves them. He’s down for anything; strippers, cocaine, grab-rear end, you name it. And he’s always pressing his friends on when they’re going to get married because he wants another party. He’s running out of single friends, so it almost seems like he took the plunge and got engaged just because it was the only way to bring about another bachelor party. I actually asked him directly if this was the case, and he said it was “honestly a big part” of the decision. I worry that this is bound to be a disaster. Will he even want to go through with the wedding after the bachelor party? Even worse, will he want a divorce after a few years without an all-guy blowout so he can have another one? I feel like maybe I should explain this to his fiancée, but I worry that it wouldn’t be my place. She’s trying to finish school, and I worry that a shock like this might throw her completely off course. What should I do? Prudie: quote:I think you have plenty to talk about with your friend here without bringing his Greekness into it, so let’s go ahead and set that particular topic to the side for now. Are you comfortable with a strippers-and-cocaine, anything-goes bachelor party? If so, fine; if not, talk to him about why you won’t be able to make an appearance. If you’re really close with him and you’re this concerned that he’s only marrying this woman so he can have a blowout all-boys party, ask him about it before you worry about trying to talk to his fiancée. But these are questions you should be asking him first, not her. Wendy: quote:It absolutely is not your place to tell Chris’ fiancée that you suspect Chris only wants to marry her so he can have a bachelor party. The truth is, it isn’t even necessarily the bachelor party Chris wants; he simply wants some “bro time.” For the love of God, give your friend some bro time. It’s nice that all the guys in your friend group are happy inviting their wives and girlfriends to always join in the planned get-togethers, but it would also be nice for all of you to have some guys-only get-togethers once or twice a year. Have a drat bro weekend in Vegas or Miami once a year. If that’s too much, pick a night to go out locally and hit the town. Plan the kind of bachelor party all of you might want (or at least that Chris might want), tell everyone when and where to show up, no significant others allowed, call it Chris’ birthday party, and everyone is responsible for paying his own way plus Chris’ expenses. Tell him next year and every year after that he should organize his own birthday party, and he can plan whatever he wants to do with his bros (no significant others allowed). All you bros will show up for him and you’ll enjoy your time together and you’ll also be reminded why you only need to do this once or twice a year and you’ll feel a renewed gratitude for your life and Chris will be satisfied in his bro time for another six to twelve months and it will be great for everyone, no sham marriage — or divorce needed. (And, obviously, no one in the friend group should do something he’s uncomfortable with, whether that be strip clubs, cocaine, or getting married).
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Sep 4, 2019 16:40
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Dear Wendy - My Bio Family Doesn’t Accept My Lesbian Stepmotherquote:I grew up as an only child of a single mother in a tight-knit and somewhat conservative community in Michigan. My mother was a gold-digger, irresponsible, and kinda slutty. Don’t get me wrong; I loved her. She took care of me the best she could and I appreciate everything she did for me, but that’s who she was: a gold-digger. She chased men with money all her life, even if they had families of their own. She wrecked many homes because she hosed the husbands. It’s actually how I came into the world; at age 25 she hosed her 57-year-old boss who was married with three teenage kids of his own. He later left his wife for her and they married briefly. They got divorced when I was three years old and she got enough money out of the divorce to get us to a nice home in a nice area. quote:You would absolutely regret cutting out the only family you have for a bunch of bigots who don’t care about you. And make no mistake about it: Your biological family on your dad’s side does not care about you. If they did, they wouldn’t require you to give up all ties to your mother, to cut out the one person who’s loved you unconditionally since she entered your life, and to “start your life over with no traces of your past.” What a bunch of bull poo poo!
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Sep 4, 2019 16:42
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La Brea Carpet posted:I want to break up with my bf because of his severe nut allergy conduct the relationship through clear plastic sheeting when you want to have children fast for 48 hours and then pass a vial of chilled semen through the aperture
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Sep 4, 2019 16:47
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VanSandman posted:Are you kidding? It's the hot take equivalent of throwing down a glove. It's beautifully crafted to cause a screaming, stupid argument. What a sad post.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:54
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cock hero flux posted:conduct the relationship through clear plastic sheeting Their child would surely die from only being able to consume nuts but also being highly allergic to nuts.
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Sep 4, 2019 16:54
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Xik posted:Ten hours to make a lasagna? Did he grow the loving wheat himself or what? Lasagna always feels like it takes a lot of time to me mainly because what it actually takes is resource management. Different layers repeating so you can't just prepare one at a time, it's a meal that takes over my kitchen and uses most of the bowls I own. And then, just as icing on the cake, I get to clean most of the bowls I own. Ricotta cheese sets like cement in about ten seconds.
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Sep 4, 2019 17:04
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thatguy posted:lasagna is nothing more than slop laid down in lifts and then thrown in an oven, it's garbage food for garbage people. Also permesan and ricotta are dogshit Go to hell  E also hitting Nazis is fine and good. Never say never when it comes to beating Nazis. Scathach fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Sep 4, 2019 |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:13
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Sunswipe posted:The ex's friends and family acting like that is understandable, but the guy's mother blaming him for breaking up with a cheat? Really sorry it's taken until now to realise his mother is garbage. Yeah, so he was "worth committing suicide over" but not "worth not loving other guys for"? Thanks mum. Ed: too many nots Runcible Cat fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Sep 4, 2019 |
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Sep 4, 2019 17:19
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Ouhei posted:It's been pointed out, but since you quoted me...that shouldn't matter really. We have absolutely no information other than a slap happened (we don't know how hard, where or what the physical makeup of either of them are), so saying anything other than it was a lovely thing to do is taking some liberties. He should definitely be seeking therapy and should cover what lead to physical violence in those sessions. Everything is still extremely raw right now and 6-12 months later things will be better, the OP will know who in his life is worth keeping around (one guy who stood up for him) and who isn't (his own mother). Like, what is the narrative later? They badmouth him that he drove her to suicide over not forgiving her repeated infidelities? There aren't many stories less likely to generate sympathy then that. I'm sure the repeated cheating won't be the lead of the story but it's hard to explain in any capacity without most normal people thinking the guy wasn't at fault.
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Sep 4, 2019 17:23
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I can't wait for the update where it turns out the parents lied about the suicide so they could say, "You sure sound glad she's not dead maybe you should get back together."
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Sep 4, 2019 17:25
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Fitzy Fitz posted:Why exactly do peanut and tree nut allergies occur together like that? The two have nothing in common. It's not about biological origin, it's about protein structure. I don't have the expertise to parse the jargon for specifics, but apparently peanuts and tree nuts are similar in that respect so if your body reacts to one of them, it's quite possible for them to react to the other one. Outside of a biological "true" allergy, there's also the cross-contact issue. The same way you don't put a tomato in a fruit salad (aside from salsa which is delicious) you are much more likely to have peanuts around tree nuts than with other legumes such as peas. A lot of folks who are allergic to one avoid the other because it takes out the most common cross-contact vector. I grew up in the 80s and 90s when awareness of allergies and how to accommodate them was just coming into the popular consciousness, and every month the allergy newsletter we got would have more warnings of candy bars doing recalls or changing their labeling because their nut-free ones were made on the same equipment as the nut ones. I avoided all nuts and chocolate back then, and though manufacturing has gotten much better in the last 30 years chocolate still smells like death to me from association.
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Sep 4, 2019 17:28
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I'm always wary of these sob stories where people talk about the meal that totally took them 10 hours to make. The most ridiculous dishes I'll ever make are more in the 3-hour range and of that 3 hours probably 2 of them are just waiting around between steps rather than actively doing something. I just can't imagine someone actively playing a Sims cooking animation for 10 hours to make loving lasagna outside of loving it up and doing it over multiple times.
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Sep 4, 2019 17:32
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cumshitter posted:I can't wait for the update where it turns out the parents lied about the suicide so they could say, "You sure sound glad she's not dead maybe you should get back together." I wouldn't be shocked if they lied to him about the content of the suicide note. Somehow they manage to blame him for the suicide and still not slap him a few times out of anger. So I actually feel bad for them. JK, they, too, are being lovely. Everyone in this story is lovely.
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Sep 4, 2019 17:56
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Some content: My (f 26) husband (m 29) is okay with our son (4) hitting me so hard I bruise. quote:I’m really upset right now because my husband is being a terrible father and a terrible husband. I love him but I really think this is ridiculous and I don’t know what to do. I [27M] talk in my sleep and my wife [25F] thinks I'm having an affair quote:My wife and I are married for 6 years. I've always talked in my sleep since I was a kid. If she tries to talk to me then I'll answer but won't be aware of it later and my answers don't always make sense. I will also start talking randomly. Sometimes about a dream I'm having, but I don't always remember the dream when I wake up so I don't always even have context for what I said when she asks me later. I've done this since I was a kid and my wife is well aware of it.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:13
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Dienes posted:I wouldn't be shocked if they lied to him about the content of the suicide note. Well he only made her kill herself once, not twice.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:16
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My (f 26) fiancé (m 28) is mad that his four year old son is calling me mommy.quote:My fiancé and I have been together three and a half years. We have a one year old son together and he has another son who lives with us. His son’s mother died not long after he was born. When I met him, his son was living with his grandmother, but she was really having trouble handling taking care of a baby. I don’t think he noticed this but I did right away. I really fell in love with this baby so I convinced him to let us take him. And I’ve raised him since then. I do everything for him just like I do for my baby. My baby has now been calling me “mama” for a couple months. And my fiancé’s son has caught on to this and has started calling me “mama” too. My fiancé is infuriated. Every time his son calls me that and he hears he snaps at him “she’s not your mother”. He tells me all the time “don’t let him call you mom”. And I don’t know what to do. It’s really confusing to my fiancé’s son and I don’t see the harm in him calling me mom. I have been his mother in every way since he was six months old. I guess I do understand why it might upset him but he’s taking it really hard. He will literally yell if he hears it. I don’t know what I should do, but I really need advice. I feel terrible. It always astonishes me how quickly men jump into another serious relationship after being widowed compared to how long it takes women. Dad really needs to  I made my stepmom cry by mentioning her dead son. quote:I(16M)take Zoloft everyday. My stepmom really hates it, every time she sees me taking it she starts ranting about how it’s a poison and I should treat my illness with “natural remedies”.  Kid is stone cold.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:18
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Slapping your partner is a bad thing. Therefore, the person who did a bad thing is 100% deserving of any and all other bad things that happen to him. You see all bad things are equal, and once you do a bad thing you deserve all other bad things, up to and including your mother blaming you for the death of the person who hurt you more than anything else in the world. We, the perfect people of this thread who have never done a bad thing, cannot ever allow ourselves any sympathy for something that has happened to a person who ever did a bad thing. So anyways is it clear whether Lasagna boyfriend made the pasta noodles from scratch as well? Still shouldn't take 10 hours but if he combined flour and water and rolled it out and cut it that's a pretty decent amount of work, and buying a lasagna maid like that at a restaurant would probably cost more than whatever watch she bought. If it's just, oh I boiled the dried noodles then lol.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:19
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Six Brown Chicks have six really good questions this week. I'm particularly fond of 1 and 2. https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1169291418269114373 https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1169291421116968962 https://twitter.com/SixBrownChicks/status/1169291423075770369
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Sep 4, 2019 18:19
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Dienes posted:Some content: What are the odds we get "UPDATE: Turned out my wife was the one having an affair"? Is it over 50% for this one?
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Sep 4, 2019 18:20
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Rubellavator posted:I dont like to judge people who have had the emotional equivalent of having a train run over them not once, but twice, for not responding perfectly. I think reducing what happened to just him being angry and hitting her is bullshit and ignorant of the context. If he had confessed to beating her or if it were a frequent thing in their relationship I'd probably be calling him just as lovely. As it stands, hes probably going to need lots of therapy and hes probably going to have severe trust issues. Domestic abuse is wrong but I have an extremely hard time qualifying what he did as abuse when hes so clearly the one being abused here. Um actually he could have easily killed her dead on the spot with a single mighty slap so it’s him that’s the bad person here. TheAardvark posted:What are the odds we get "UPDATE: Turned out my wife was the one having an affair"? Is it over 50% for this one? It’s 100%
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Sep 4, 2019 18:21
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Update on the grounded adult. quote:UPDATE: i did not have access to my phone so please excuse the delayed update. thank you for the overwhelming response to my query. Some comments were constructive and others,,,,, not so much. One person in my messages even threatened to decapitate me. I will take steps to be a better boy.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:26
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Hellblazer187 posted:Therefore, the person who did a bad thing is 100% deserving of any and all other bad things that happen to him. You see all bad things are equal, and once you do a bad thing you deserve all other bad things, up to and including your mother blaming you for the death of the person who hurt you more than anything else in the world. We, the perfect people of this thread who have never done a bad thing, cannot ever allow ourselves any sympathy for something that has happened to a person who ever did a bad thing. Its really telling when a person acts like "not hitting people even when you're really, really mad at them" is some sort of impossible, unattainable hurdle to clear in life. DemoneeHo posted:Six Brown Chicks have six really good questions this week. I'm particularly fond of 1 and 2. I'm always impressed with Six Brown Chicks' ability to reliably include twists in a 140-character tweet. Couldn't Q2 just show the cops the marks from the stun gun? Or do they not always leave dot marks?
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Sep 4, 2019 18:27
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Dienes posted:Couldn't Q2 just show the cops the marks from the stun gun? Or do they not always leave dot marks? Presumably because a stun gun leaves the same marks as a seizure.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:28
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Hellblazer187 posted:Update on the grounded adult. Worst update, what a loving invertebrate 
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Sep 4, 2019 18:29
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Dienes posted:Its really telling when a person acts like "not hitting people even when you're really, really mad at them" is some sort of impossible, unattainable hurdle to clear in life. I don't think anyone at all has said that. I think some people are saying the gravity of what happened to him is much worse than a single slap to the face, and that the single slap doesn't remove all sympathy from him. Feel free to criticize anyone who actually said the thing you're pretending I said, though.
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Sep 4, 2019 18:30
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