Blurred posted:

*George enters looking tired and dishevelled*

George: Well, I got shut in the 'Schwitz last night.
Jerry: You got shut in the 'Schwitz?
George: I got shut in the 'Schwitz, baby!
Elaine: Get OUT! How did this happen?
George: The tour guide was an early locker...
Jerry: Oh my God, he was an early locker!?
George: Sun goes down, gates get locked... he was an early locker Jerry!
Jerry: So...? How was it?
George: Let's just say I'm never showering again.
Elaine: You're never showering again...?
George: NO MORE SHOWERS FOR GEORGIE!

*Slap bass music / credits roll*

meat sweats posted:

two things I was promised as a child in the early 90s that we don't have:

"a machine that can make it sound like any singer is singing any song. you can make frank sinatra sing michael jackson songs!" yeah you could probably do something close to this in audio software now but 1) why would you want to 2) what's the difference between doing that and just hiring a vocal impersonator 3) why did the person presenting on incredible developing technology to my fourth grade class think this was going to be the technology that defined The Future?

"a small cube in a room-sized cooling system that can replace all known military strategists" which an algebra teacher who used to be in the air force insisted already existed in secret

Achmed Jones posted:

six-sided dice already exists

Platystemon posted:

mysterious frankie posted:

I'm watching Myth Of The American Sleepover. It's by the It Follows director and it's about a bunch of Ben Folds wandering around the Detroit suburbs one night. One of the Ben Folds is trying to hook up with twins, another Ben Folds is trying to find a blonde lady Ben Folds he met at the supermarket. A different lady Ben Folds with a lip ring does a dance and jumps into water. Then there's a different Ben Folds that might be gay? Hard to tell. There's a Ben Folds with curly hair, and a who gymnasium full of freshman Ben Folds having an orientation sleepover. Overall there's a vast array of Ben Folds on display, perhaps too many to take in, and that ultimately hurts the film. Near the films conclusion an amazing gun duel breaks out between two Bend Folds that can't agree if Bon Iver or Devandra Banahrt rock the hardest, saving an otherwise middle effort. 3.5/5

RandomBlue posted:

I feel like this is a dumb question, but how many Ben Folds are there?

pre-op bebop posted:

5

Schmeichy posted:

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

Reinstate WAE and bring forth the End Times.

Jeza posted:

Hero of Socialist Flavour would be a top tier username.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Whats WAE

Milo and POTUS posted:

Whats WAE

BOOTY-ADE posted:

D. Wae

Do you know?

Kitfox88 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUCm_NFpN1w

this was the only funny ugandan knuckles thing

Brute Hole Force posted:

Now I'm wondering if the Reds had hoagies, and if so what was the hero of the Soviet Union.

Kitfox88 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUCm_NFpN1w

this was the only funny ugandan knuckles thing

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I appreciate the fact that this is absolutely incomprehensible to me.

Pener Kropoopkin posted:

https://twitter.com/MarcoFlorianMED/status/1216283953814032385?s=20

Archduke Frantz Fanon posted:

Now that gadaffis dead that only means one thing BRING IT IN GUYS

*all of the different romes show up for a huge imperial quagmire*

Admiral Ray posted:

in order to succeed, you need to throw yourself at failure and miss

NotWearingPants posted:

I heard that Biden told Warren he didn't think that a wolaman cannana be electioned in a precedent.

cumshitter posted:

get hosed old man. the future is now, and it's 49 year old gay men who treat bluetooth speakers as disposable boomboxes because they dont know how to turn them off

bow out gracefully

cumshitter posted:

i dont have the heart to throw the boomboxes in the trash because i heard the batteries are made from lions and thats bad for the earth. i just put them in my fridge so i cant hear them. but whenever i open my fridge i get blasted backward by 30 boomboxes playing lizzo

Jet Jaguar posted:

Just imagining you and your wife looking at him like Willy Wonka as he starts poking at law enforcement. “No. Stop. Don’t.”

Stex T posted:

I'll be the Oompa Loompa singing a morbid song when he gets hauled to jail or shot.

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo, Here's why loving policemen is bad for you...

SatansOnion posted:

Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-doo
Harassing the cops means they’ll harass you
Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-dality
Poke at the bear and it gives you brutality

What do you do when the worms in your brain
Move you to pester again and again?
What do you get when the cops know your face
And that you don’t respect
their
space?
Lucky if they just use mace

Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-dive-o
Don’t pick a legal fight with the five-o
You’ll get hammered when you get caught
Like the Oompa Loompas surely do not!

Krispy Wafer posted:

I was listening to the audiobook of Shawshank Redemption and I figured I was safe in the drive-thru of a Wendy's with the window rolled down and then the narrator started using the N word.

There are no Black people in the book version of the Shawshank Redemption and he still had to stick that word in there.

Pastry of the Year posted:

sir this is a


hey, wait a sec

WrenP-Complete posted:

quote:

Physically, you have neither had any surgery nor suffered any injury that mutilated or harmed your genitalia, or impaired their sensitivity, or restricted the size of their opening.)

However, if you require waiting a long time before sex or waiting until after marriage, then I am not your man.

First paragraph: Gross.
Second: Huh.

Something about astrology. Here's his chart to check for compatibility, I guess.

T-man posted:

...is he trying to exclude post bottom surgery trans women?

Laserjet 4P posted:

I know the surgery is lots of work, but I didn't know they'd also remove Uranus.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Whats WAE

Varinn posted:

red guards is absolutely like two or three feds grooming mentally unstable dudes they find on the internet into terrorists

Homeless Friend posted:

Right. so about cspam.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

he never stops going

cumshitter posted:

the first cumshitter in america was sent back to britain for the crime of buggering, and then sent back to america for the crime of buggering on a british vessel during the transit

Oxxidation posted:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I removed the word from the smilies page, and also the support page, and also the legacy changelog, and also the code comments.

Somfin posted:

Goddammit radium

Sapozhnik posted:

mods please change my name to load bearing slur

Sapozhnik posted:

no

Winty posted:

Making art, solving poo poo, or just living life generates a certain Voltage across my cell membranes.

Sleeping - - then dreaming -- discharges it safely, learning something new in the process.

Doing nitrous causes it to discharge in a glorious and dangerous lighting bolt.

I really need to stop doing it.

-

At least this has taught me to look life straight in the eye while I'm destroying it.

Edit: Turns out the nerve damage was actually because I have MS. No worries guys.

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I went and checked out of curiosity, and someone got their "change my username to this" wish granted lmao

Alien Sex Manual posted:

Mods please rename me Alien Sex Manual

Plastik posted:

I went and found it so no one else has to.


The document in question is mind-rending, cannot reccommend.

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I went and checked out of curiosity, and someone got their "change my username to this" wish granted lmao

Platystemon posted:

Their old username is “Labes for days”, in case anyone was wondering.