A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Got it. Pudding means dessert except when it doesn't.

Thank you for clarifying that your country isn't whimsically silly.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Who has some quotes from when that goons brother was pudding a bicycle pump where it didn’t belong?

Spicy Soba Noodles posted:

In June of 2015 my brother went to the emergency room. He had urinated blood, thrown up, and his temperature hit 102.4. His fever peaked at 104 and he was transferred to a hospital up the island and placed in PICU for three straight days. His blood pressure, I can't remember, it was like 92 over 60-something. Kid was sick and the antibiotics weren't working for a while. He got moved to the regular pediatrics ward on day 4 and was out on day 6. Turned out that he'd had a urinary infection that turned into sepsis because nobody in my house knew he was showing symptoms. The day before we found blood on the toilet seat and neither my mother, my sister, or myself were the cause of that. We assumed my brother had just accidentally cut himself and was embarrassed. Anyone could have looked at him then and assumed he was completely healthy.

He went into the hospital again this afternoon with a 102 fever and they immediately sent him up island again. It peaked a few hours ago at 103. They're saying it's another urinary infection but seriously how the gently caress does this keep happening??

Garrand posted:

I love blood dessert

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Who has some quotes from when that goons brother was pudding a bicycle pump where it didn’t belong?

Horace posted:

I was going to post a relevant quote. But my quotes folder now comprises 2,500 screenshots going back to April 2007, and they're all called poo poo like screenshot-2010-02-04.png and I can't find anything in there

The Dregs posted:

This thread has inspired me to buy the Into Thin Air audiobook. That was a bit of a mistake. The author decided to narrate it himself for some reason, and he's horrible. He speaks in what kind of sounds like a Californian accent with a droning monotone. Add to this the fact that he never seems to use one syllable where three would do and you've got quite a mess. I am going to finish it up, though, because it is still interesting.

Crackpipe posted:

I'm imagining SNL's The Californians.

"Take the Khumbu Icefall past Camp II to the Western Cwm and then straight up the Lhotse Face. There's a Sherpa at Camp III that will validate overnight."

evilneanderthal posted:

At this time of day, are you crazay?! It'll be tyotally jammed!

Crackpipe posted:

How do you know so much about the Hilary Step?!

Wuhao posted:

Beck Weathers? BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, BRAH?

twit666 posted:

My friend and I wanted to cook Easter dinner for a bunch of her Greek Orthodox friends. Big spread of Middle Eastern dishes with the main attraction being a rotisserie lamb. I dug a pit for the charcoals and had an ancient electric rotisserie that would hold a good size lamb. She picked up the lamb from a farmer's market on Saturday so we could marinate it overnight. She showed up at my front door with a box in her arms, crying, I said, "What's wrong?". When she ordered the lamb she said she wanted a whole lamb. When she got to the stall they handed her a box. She said, "What's this?". They told her, "That's your lamb. We figured we should cut it up in chunks so it will be easier for you to cook.". Irate she told them, "I said I wanted a WHOLE lamb!". Their eyes widened and they said, "Oh! you wanted a wwwhhhooolllleee lamb!". She said, "Oh I'm sorry I thought a whole lamb was a whole lamb. I'm sorry I didn't say wwwhhhooollleee lamb!", took her box and left. I said, "Heather, we can fix this!". We proceeded to the basement and got to work with some bailing wire. The pieces went pretty much where they were supposed to and we rubbed that sucker down with salt, lavender and other good stuff. In the morning I shoved it on the spit and started up the rotisserie. The bailing wire did the trick but there was a lack of rigidity to the legs and head. When the lamb would turn the legs and head would flop around in a hideous and horrifying manner. You could only look at it briefly before your stomach would turn. As the party was getting under way people would ask excitedly, "Where's the lamb!". I'd just point and then they would come back with furrowed brows. We had an empty dog house near the rotisserie (dog died a few months before), a kid asked, "Where's your dog?". I just looked over at the lamb. The kid went running to her parents. I walked a couple people over to it and when they looked at it I yelled, "It's alive!". We then referred to it as "Frankenlamb". It was wonderful when it came off the spit.

stev posted:

https://twitter.com/paparoach/status/1370275885908115462

Finally some Brexit dividends.

Isomermaid posted:

Tell customs to release us
My vinyl's stuck in port

Bobby Digital posted:

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1370070138817548293?s=21

Captain Hygiene posted:

Sadly I don't believe ejaculate travels fast enough to achieve escape velocity

Paper Tiger posted:

Kegel Space Program

PinheadSlim posted:

I'd rather eat a six hour probe than drink a Pepsi and that's a fact, jack

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Captain Monkey posted:

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Since they're not also sending eggs, I'm guessing this is not about reproduction.

It's about finally achieving man's ultimate dream since we first looked up at the stars.

We're going to bukkake the moon.

A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:

Since they're not also sending eggs, I'm guessing this is not about reproduction.

It's about finally achieving man's ultimate dream since we first looked up at the stars.

We're going to bukkake the moon.

Marcade posted:

The rocket's leaving soon
The payload we must prune
So we'll send no eggs
but the question begs
Are we bukakke'ing the moon?

Carthag Tuek posted:

Platystemon posted:

Bukkake, not creampie.

Carthag Tuek posted:

That's an early recording from the archives of the Brs. Lumière. It shows the moon shortly after the landing of the first load, but it should not be considered a landmark.

The moon did not appreciate this incursion. Even if the moon looks kind of funny in this one case, this is not okay. Please do not jizz on the moon any more.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Solice Kirsk posted:

Quick! Someone put this through that AI animate old pictures thing!

christmas boots posted:

What do you think the moon is? It’s just a giant jizz ball

Spanish Manlove posted:

https://imgur.com/EybM3aD

christmas boots posted:

What do you think the moon is? It’s just a giant jizz ball

VinylonUnderground posted:

To be fair, a lot of celebrities are very fake people.

Pre-Captain America, I was at Chris Evan's house. He was really surprised when he walked down the stairs to find me in his kitchen but I explained to him that I had been getting his messages and of course I loved him too. He said he needed to change his clothes and that I should wait outside. Only instead of him joining me, the police came instead. I thought it was a miscommunication for a long time, that people were trying to keep us apart. But eventually I realized that despite him telling me he loved me through subtle cues in his acting, he was just using me to make himself feel better and I deserve better than that.

christmas boots posted:

What do you think the moon is? It’s just a giant jizz ball

Splicer posted:

Captain Hygiene posted:

The Technopranos

ultrafilter posted:

Thread:
https://twitter.com/Fizzygrrl/status/1370209351344922626

CaptainBeefart posted:

Interesting thread but my god the way she writes is extremely annoying.

Mak0rz posted:

This is just to say

I have resurrected

the bird

that was in

my boobs


Forgive me

it is a zombie now

little fucker

all smug

Dareon posted: