EorayMel posted:

Plumtree posted:

Everyday I wake up and discover problem in my penis Why? first day it was small pain and swelling and touching onto myp enis. Day 2 = more pains in my dick and confusion: people say "what is wrong with dick?" " what is it" now it is day 3. i have no doctors. my penis aches for treatment and it needs to be healed by a medicine man or a "GOON doctor. where is the dcotor is he in ?.. is there a doctor in the house (little joke) my problem is a serious problem please do not troll my thread or mistreat me. I am serious about this.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Bags Fly at Noon posted:

The worst sin here is they didn’t even spell it right. It’s “chipolte”.

Yestermoment posted:

That's not really that funny. Just racist.

Hedgeclipper posted:

Alrighty. I'm in high school. I'm rather popular and not totally awkward. I have plenty of friends and I'm pretty happy and stuff, but jesus, why is everyone so loving stupid? I bought some Technics a few years ago and got interested in mixing, now, all of a sudden everyone I know is called DJ Vienna or DJ OnFire or DJ RandomPants or something like that and they have mixes of crappy radio hip hop on and bad European techno on facebook, with the names spelt with multiple repeating letters. "DJ EdHardyItalyOmggg Awesommeeee mixx! invited you to join DJ EDHardyItalyOmggg is the besttt!!11! group" and all the words are spelled with no spaces, with EveryNewWordCapitalized, because ItLooksCool. And what the gently caress is Ed Hardy? I saw it in a store once, and on the head of one of those assholes from Keys to the VIP. They are like $200 hats with terrible looking designs and sequins. Why do people wear this? And can't people hold down the shift key while they type exlamation points? What does this mean?
υя му вαву.му ℓα∂у,вυт мαву υ нαтє мє,υя мα ѕнαмραιη мα ˘σ˘αηє,вυт вαву ωнєη ωє мαкιηg ℓσνє ι ˘αηт єχρℓαιηє ♥
And does anyone know how to make facebook quizzes not show up in your email? I don't care if you found a dildo in a mystery box or your best sex position is doggystyle or reverse cowgirl or whatever it may happen to be. Also, since when did Disney market to kids older than tweens? Everyone (from Montreal) is excited about the Jonas Brothers...
A few "highlits":
-this is what i live forrrr(L) (Pictures of a whole bunch of kids hugging each other and holding empty bottles of Captain Morgan)
-death * (emo kids with webcams)
-RAndOm (I don't know. The title pretty much says it all. What's wrong with your shift key, people?)
So what is wrong with this here decade? This is virtually everyone I know, save a few of my closest friends. Aren't the kids supposed to be cooler than the adults? I can say that I'd seriously prefer to hang out with mostly people a lot older than me. To name a few, my neighbour, who is in a band that has recorded at Dischord, my other neighbour who is a professor and has showed me some really interesting stuff about pyschology and statistical analysis, my mom is a journalist and always has something interesting going on, my dad can tell me about music that was actually good, before autotune, when FM radio was cool and taught me to plat the guitar, etc. Aren't I supposed to think adults are boring and backward? This isn't right! Most of you goons are probably older than me. What do you think of my terrible loving generation?
[End of Rant]

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

christmas boots posted:

Lot was a shepherd at one point so maybe it was basalt

Splicer posted:

RFC2324 posted:

Jesus. I misread it as someone getting banned for saying lowtax is a good lover(which seems like a good ban to me lol)

bobjr posted:

https://twitter.com/jimmfelton/status/1462807790154661895?s=21

smellmycheese posted:

Lol. I read through this expecting it to end with it being a metaphor for Brexit

Robobot posted:

It’d be a bad metaphor. STDs show that you’ve had sex with someone else, brexit only shows that you’ve hosed yourself.

Rampansam posted:

So, every night I can hear these assholes screaming in the room next to me... Like ridiculously loud, in the wee hours of the morning. I realized this was due to a small crack in the wall that leads to their room. I took advantage of this and sent a note through which read "Dear assholes, kindly shut the gently caress up so we can get some sleep. Love, Civilization". They took it. I was crying with laughter. Then I sent one with a picture of a cock going up someones rear end. Arrows made it clear that the rear end was their collective rear end and the cock belonged to someone named Buba who is in jail with them. Now they are knocking on the wall. What is my next course of action?

Devor posted:

Write some more loving love notes. Or go talk politely to them?

Rampansam posted:

no

AFStealth posted:

Yeah, why the gently caress would a goon do something rational.

Fuhrer posted:

I can't work out if you're a bigger loser or I'm a meta-loser by replying to your post.

The Bloop posted:

Infrateal posted:

i'm goign to take a drug that makes me appreciate mcdonald's hamburgers. i'm going to replace my tastebuds with nematocysts and sting Grimace the purpble blob mascot like a poison-dart-cone-shell and drag him to my pulsing translucent bell. I'm going to comb his dead fur with a Murex shell and burn a mcnugget in a corncob pipe, thoughtfully. i'm going to break the hamburgler out of jail and drink weak coffee and eat a pancake stamped from albino wheat

EorayMel posted:

pro starcraft loser posted:

How does Wisconsin not have the death penalty?

YeahTubaMike posted:

They already have a death trip, no need to push it further

Spanish Manlove posted:

Nazzadan posted:

Gimme poo
gimme pee
take a poo poo inside of me
ooooah

I. M. Gei posted:

I have heard that sperm can survive stomach acid and penetrate the walls of the digestive system, although it's very rare. In any case they can occasionally get past the walls of the anus and find their way to the reproductive organs one way or another.

It's also possible to get pregnant from oral. Again, it's super rare, but I remember there's at least one case of it happening a few years ago that got mentioned on the news.

I cannot say for sure how much of this is lies and ignorant stupidity told to me by my lovely abstinence-only high school sex ed.

Captain Invictus posted:

Captain Hygiene posted:

I guesstimated this was a post from 2006 and I was wrong

Captain Invictus posted:

symbolic posted:

my perfect rectal wall clip lands me as the world champion for the conception speedrun (any%, wrong warp)

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Shame on anyone who didn't properly guess the subforum, though.

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Shame on anyone who didn't properly guess the subforum, though.

Baron von Eevl posted:

I'm just glad it wasn't GWS

Nordick posted:

Jimmy Two Times posted:

This is too funny for words.

quote:

u may have beet me with Priest Holmes, but u got lucky dum gently caress. i now were u live jerk. if u bring him alive again i will stab you're poo poo.

oh no!

Nebuchadnezzar posted:

The best thing about this is that he manages to gently caress up a usage of "your" that your average moran has no problem with.

teh funnay posted:

404: funny not found. Stop trolling this otherwise funny thread

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

numberoneposter posted:

you've heard of leftovers, but get ready for leftunders

Endorph posted:

https://streamable.com/a18ar6

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Three Olives posted:

Water finds it's own level.

HootTheOwl posted:

Great, now there's a TERF coin!

please knock Mom! posted:

£ has been around for a while mate

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Captain Invictus posted:

a followup to the incredible oral pregnancy post, the entire saga has been collected in glorious Phoenix Wright form by goon Endorph

Oxxidation posted:

*gulpgulpgulpgulp*




rear end cum

Oxxidation posted:

*gulpgulpgulpgulp*




rear end cum