Asterite34 posted:

Joke's on you, coppers! I only vape stuff that near-instantly denatures any DNA it touches! Try getting evidence off THAT! Ha!

...

Karate Bastard posted:

What are you vaping osmiumtetrachlorocyanide?

3D Megadoodoo posted:

"Hey I beat that butt-collector dude everyone knows did this!"

FreudianSlippers posted:

FreudianSlippers posted:

3D Megadoodoo posted:

"Hey I beat that butt-collector dude everyone knows did this!"

Splicer posted:

Strong opening scene, would you like a critically acclaimed 12 episode EU produced miniseries or a US-produced 8 season run that people swear gets good again around season 7?

Lib and let die posted:

go around the neighborhood with a trash bag, a trash claw, pick up a bunch of poo poo, and no one will question a drat thing.

Lt. Cock posted:

Goddamn I forgot how much I love that cum video

Grassy Knowles posted:

*dna poop test comes back* call animal control, it turns out all the dogs in the neighborhood killed that man. smart idea testing that poo poo the perps left on the scene.

topher2915 posted:

Last night about nine p.m. I was sitting on my back porch having a beer and a cigarette. I stepped inside to talk to my wife, grabbed a beer and headed back outside. I immediately noticed a puddle that had formed on my deck while I was inside. I thought it was odd, and mentioned it to my wife. She came out, looked at it and determined it (by smell) to be piss. I grabbed a flashlight and hopped on a chair to see what the deal was, as we could see that it was dripping from the roof.

It was a big pile of poo poo. (picture taken this morning for lighting purposes)




Figuring it to be either a big animal or a human, I went back inside to get a gun and my wife went to our neighbors house, as they were in their garage, to see if they heard or saw anything. We all met in the back yard, and wandered around looking for signs of trespass. Then, my wife went to go inside to check on our baby, asleep at that time. She found the door to have been locked behind us, and it only locks from the inside. We were all outside. The baby was inside with whoever locked the door.

With gun in hand, I immediately hauled rear end around to the front of the house while my wife followed, screaming at the neighbors to call 911. I burst through the front door and ran to the back of the house and into the baby's room. She was fast asleep in the crib, so I started running around kicking doors open, checking closets, turning lights on. Nothing and no one. We got the baby and went outside to wait on the cops.

They got there about twenty minutes later, we explained the situation, all looked at the poop, and went around the house. At the point where our fence ties into the house, the shingles were smashed down, as if someone was standing on the fence and dragging themselves up. no other evidence was found, besides the obvious leavings.

Possibly a kid playing a prank, but that is a dangerous game to play when in Texas and putting my wife and child in danger, whether real or imagined.

Honestly I don't even know if there was actually anyone inside at any point. It has never happened, but I suppose in the excitement the door could have locked itself, though I have no clue how.

We don't normally lock any doors unless we are going out of town, but I guess we will have to start that now, and it sucks. Sucks to feel violated.

Assuming no one was inside, does anyone know of an animal that can take a human size poo poo, then piss on the poo poo, and do it all on a roof? That would help alleviate our anxiety.

TLDR: poo poo on a shingle

BLANCHES oval office posted:

agh im going to squat on crazy batshit gun mans roof!!! i hope he has children in the home while i squat barefoot onto his badly done roof and push out me colon snakes. his wife is probably cozy in her snuggly fleece wizard looking robe and the man is drinking a beer. they are not expecting something so bizarre as a child like me to be making GBS threads above them. ahaha im a gradeschool kid who is drinking gin out of a gatorade bottle and now im shot in the stomach by a stupid as gently caress person from the worst state in the country. aaaagh im gutshot and me turds are pouring out silly putty like from the birdshot that riddle me full of deathholes. hail satan death to america i was in band and i was learning clare de lune on the oboe and my mother loved me but now im dead because of guns and idiots.

Elissimpark posted:

I'd have to say a UK style 6 episode series full of actors who seem familiar because they were secondary characters on Dr Who in the eighties or in a brief gag on the Young Ones.

EorayMel posted:

Never forget:
Someone poo poo on my roof

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Good, gently caress smokers who don't clean up their drat cig butts.

SubponticatePoster posted:

Even as someone who smokes, I agree. It's a pain in the rear end in that cars don't have ashtrays in them anymore, but I just knock out the tobacco and put the butt in the little coin holder in the console to throw away later, or if I'm on foot I hang onto it/put it in my pocket until I get to a trash can. The worst is when a business cares enough to put out an ashtray and people still can't be bothered to use it, fuckin' slobs.

EorayMel posted:

Never forget:
Someone poo poo on my roof

freeedr posted:

Last time my wife had been out of town I shot off a wiener wiggler that looked like a snake and crashed through the headboard. Felt like my tackle was stomped by a shire horse

Felt like giving dickbirth

Cold on a Cob posted:

nitter still works? I thought they were targeting it specifically or something

jeebus bob posted:

Someone with a blue checkmark referred to it as ni**er and Musk immediately boosted it to the top of the whitelist

Carthag Tuek posted:

Carthag Tuek posted:

EorayMel posted:

Never forget:
Someone poo poo on my roof

Mushika posted:

Biplane posted:

Netflix made Squid Game, Mr beast made his own tone deaf squid game series, now Netflix is making a knockoff mr beast squid game reality show. Get me off this terrible ride please.

I have no idea what any part of this sentence means.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Mr. Beast isn't worth knowing about. Don't waste the brain cells on him.

Thank you.

Karate Bastard posted:

Do you hold other detrimental knowledge to compensate and if so could you please share?

Mushika posted:

Traditional Zoroastrian burials in Towers of Silence are nearly impossible today in India because of the virtual extirpation of vultures due to the feeding of cattle the drug Diclofenac, which is poisonous to the vultures who feed on and dispose of their carcasses.

Karate Bastard posted:

God drat it

Platystemon posted:

* Mazda drat it.

Carthag Tuek posted:

Operator posted:

You know what? You are pissing me off. Not you ML goons in particular, but the group you belong to. Amateur musicians.

There are way too many of you, too many make it through the loophole and get to release mediocre albums in an already oversaturated market.

Life is too short to listen to 100 bands for each genuinly innovative and talented one. It's like a 50 page menu at a restaurant where 90% of the dishes are absolute poo poo.

So are amateur musicians to blame for this? Yeah, you are. About 90% percent of you are mediocre, and have nothing to contribute to the world of music. It is time for aspiring musicians to start realizing this and let music be a hobby instead of making GBS threads around your crappy demo wasting everyones time.

For some reason, being a musician is very trendy these days. You learn to play guitar to be cool. And as soon as you are able to string a couple of chords together, sing a simple cliched melody along to it with some lyrics about emo love, SUDDENLY YOU CAN BE A SUPERSTAR!

no. Fact is, I believe just about anyone can achieve at least mediocrity if they put enough effort into it. You are in no way unique.

It is getting nearly impossible to follow the general music scene these days, it feels like every day you hear about 5 new bands, each with their own magazine article hyping them beyond all good decency. Yet they are all pathetically mediocre. And maybe one of them isn't, but you couldn't give them enough time to realize it, because you had to spend time hearing the other 4 crap bands.

And stop fueling the fire friends and relatives! Sometimes, 'that was kinda cool' suffices when compared with 'WOW YOU SHOULD GET A RECORD DEAL!' when Jimmy auditions his 'AWESOME DEMO' for you.

To conclude: More amateur musicians should come to grips with the fact that their music should never leave their homestudios.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

Musician's Lounge › Everyone's a musician. [THREAD OF THE DECADE]

EorayMel posted:

Musician's Lounge › Everyone's a musician. [THREAD OF THE DECADE]

The Lemondrop Dandy posted:

Read ML as Marxist-Leninist and was confused all the way through.

EorayMel posted:

quote:

BLANCHES oval office posted:

agh im going to squat on crazy batshit gun mans roof!!! i hope he has children in the home while i squat barefoot onto his badly done roof and push out me colon snakes. his wife is probably cozy in her snuggly fleece wizard looking robe and the man is drinking a beer. they are not expecting something so bizarre as a child like me to be making GBS threads above them. ahaha im a gradeschool kid who is drinking gin out of a gatorade bottle and now im shot in the stomach by a stupid as gently caress person from the worst state in the country. aaaagh im gutshot and me turds are pouring out silly putty like from the birdshot that riddle me full of deathholes. hail satan death to america i was in band and i was learning clare de lune on the oboe and my mother loved me but now im dead because of guns and idiots.

Nordick posted:

I remember hearing a very good dramatic reading of this post that someone uploaded, but I have no idea where the link might be or if it's even up anymore

EorayMel posted:

Musician's Lounge › Everyone's a musician. [THREAD OF THE DECADE]

Chris Knight posted:

EricBauman posted:

it has always bothered me that it's on its back

Grace Baiting posted:

but you're not helping. why is that?

Karate Bastard posted:

No I have no idea why this post in particular ticked me off, when there are so many others to rub myself sideways with, and yes I have seen your post history thank you very much

EorayMel posted:

I made Honky Dong Country read it OP
https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/what-is-an-oboe

haveblue posted:

Nordick posted:

I remember hearing a very good dramatic reading of this post that someone uploaded, but I have no idea where the link might be or if it's even up anymore