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Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Squashy Nipples posted:

Stern's story about ordering food at a restaurant with Ben Stern will never get old. :allears:

I order the halibut much more often now after listening to Howard do his impersonation. Ben Stern is a natural treasure.

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Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Crotch Bat posted:

Jackie was never a hard drug user. He boozed a lot, sure, but he's also been dry more or less since he left the show if I remember right. He also never ate like Artie either.

I'm pretty sure Jackie quit drinking after he left the show and now has pretty much become Jack LaLanne.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I'm working on some joke involving eating meatballs in heaven with Grandma Caprio.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Just want to say thanks for posting this link. They sound great.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Look Out!

The OJ drops are probably my favorite Norris sound effects.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Seaside Loafer posted:


Im just hosed off I cant find a replacement with the same level of output. There are some radio shows and people I find funny but I dont want any loving music and I dont want hour long podcasts to download and faff around with. Just want 4-5 straight hours goofy rapping where it can act as white noise when you arent interested in whats going on, it makes the day go by which I just cant find a replacement for.

I've come to terms with the fact that there will never be anyone that comes close to the level of talent and sheer output that the HSS created over the last 30+ years. For a lot of reasons it will never happen again. Most of the podcasts out are poo poo and the few I like only last an hour for the most part. I've kind of resigned myself to best of complications because there's nothing like the HSS to entertain me for as long and as often.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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JD needs a Mom to take care of him. Hopefully this one doesn't leave him for a Hawaiian.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Yep. He also stole money meant for tipping a waitress at Nobu. Complete scumbag.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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cumshitter posted:

Wait isn't DePace married to a writer from the Daily Show? How the gently caress did that work out?

I wonder if the stuff he said on the show was a put on just because it's hard for me to believe DePace can he such a hardline conservative and be married to a producer on one of the most liberal shows on TV. Unless they just never discuss politics ever. I mean, I think at one point DePace said he would abort his child if he could find out he/she was going to be gay. How can someone be married to a person like that?

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Sand Monster posted:

He was also doing a lot of gigs on the road as an emcee and things like that to supplement his income, plus I'm sure his book deal wasn't too shabby.

We will know if he's having a rough time if he every puts on the monkey suit again. Or if he writes a tell all book.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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JB50 posted:

George Takei has been a creepy weirdo since day 1. How is this surprising to anyone?

Exactly, George is a total horn dog. He got a free pass because he had to be in a closet for so long. Honestly as long as you're not messing with anyone underage I don't think it's a bid deal. It seemed like it was pretty dangerous to be gay until about 15-20 years ago. Before that you had to worry about someone either arresting you or beating the poo poo out of you for making a move on them. It genuinely was a different time.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.

Crotch Bat posted:

It's nothing short of a miracle he's made it this long. That guy was like a top .1% smoker for DECADES.

People like Scott are the reason insurance premiums keep skyrocketing every year. The guy must have beat every actuarial projection of his life span by a decade by now.

I do have to give Howard credit for keeping Scott around even with all his issues. K-Rock would have found a way years ago to kick Scott to the curb.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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prefect posted:

Ooh-gah!

I miss Out of the Closet Stern.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Sand Monster posted:

I think I put the OJ call ahead just for the circumstances -- a spontaneous call during a live broadcast of an event that everyone in America was watching. I mean, they interrupted the NBA Finals to cover it! I think the guy who made it "retired" from prank calling after because he knew nothing would ever top it. The Sour prank was prerecorded and compiled over months. Certainly genius and a classic call, but nothing can edge out the OJ call.

I see OJ is all time. They even had Al Michaels on to talk about it after. I think everyone watching on TV knew it was a crank call except Peter Jennings. The OJ chase was the biggest story in the US when that call happened.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Sand Monster posted:

Does anyone recall the fight between Gary and Howard where Howard was saying that Gary should be "thinking about the show" instead of doing <whatever it was that they were fighting about>? I'm trying to remember what the argument was about.

Playing sporcle?

Bathing Jackson and Lucus?

They’ve probably have a million fights about this. Howard used to bust Garys balls constantly about having any kind of life outside the show whenever Gary forgot to do something or screwed up.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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DeadBonesBrook posted:

Alright Rodney am gon ask ya ketchen, if you can anser den you can gets your diploma and you can gadgit.

What be nine times four?

Give Rodney a chance

Give Rodney a chance

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Grant DaNasty posted:

No way Joey Boots is a wackpacker. No disability, no funny voice, no crazy outbursts. He’s just a regular caller like Bobo or King of All Blacks.

Joey Boots was definitely a wack packer. He's dead BTW. Of a drug overdose. The guy was on military disability for PTSD from being a cook in the army +20 years ago. He was nuts, randomly came out as gay, and was in a contest against HPE over who could produce more poo poo. A wack packer through and through. Also Bobo is a wack packer because the guy is unhinged. KOAB barely qualifies as normal because he could keep a steady job and has a family. Though the guy is very odd. How does having Moen faucets make you wealthy?

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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an adult beverage posted:

The Gossip Game was probably the worst recurring bit in the show's history. Surprised he had it on so long

The only good things from the Gossip Game were the Fart and Artie always making fun of Mike and how awful the bit was. I'm also including whenever George and Mike spoke to each other in Japanese because I enjoyed that. Otherwise it was terrible filler.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Lifespan posted:

Did he do Charlie Chaplin? That is my favorite impression where I have never actually heard the original person...

Old Groucho is still the greatest.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Anyone know what’s going on with Scott and his wife or when they talked about it? Pretty bummed if it’s true his wife is ill.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I have to hope that Howard helped Scott privately and doesn't want to get a huge influx of people asking for money because he took care of Scott. Just like if he made it public he helped that kitten suddenly everyone with a sick pet would be writing Howard for money. It is something that rich people do have to deal with. Chris Rock told Howard on the show that people come up to him and ask him for $10,000 like they would ask a regular person for lunch money.

If he really is not giving Scott anything then I think I've lost all my respect for Howard. He has helped Scott out a lot by keeping him employed at Sirius for so long but for how much Scott has gone above and beyond for the show in the past I think Howard could reach into his wallet and give Scott a couple thousand.

But who knows what kind of guy Howard is at this point? The way he unceremoniously seemed to drop all the Howard TV guys so coldly and suddenly makes me think at this point that he's just not a nice person anymore.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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DeadBonesBrook posted:

I think Artie might be skinnier than Benjy at this point.

I never thought that Artie would outlive Benjy but holy poo poo, he’s the size of a house now. He must be seriously depressed and not give a poo poo anymore.

Also is it just me or is that new set depressing at hell? Generic. No Fred. Just two old yentas in horrible wigs (Robins is at least justifiable). Even the studio from the E show was better.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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What a phony. The guy used to make fun of Gary because he drove a 3 series BMW.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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People give Artie poo poo for being a fat heroin addict and then bust his balls when he loses the weight. The guy can’t win.

Maybe he’s just back on coke. Or took some meth and walked to St. Louis.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I don’t think Fred has recorded a song or bit since Sam Kinison died. I love the Martian but he’s been coasting since the mid 90’s. What a gig.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I really hope his account got hacked otherwise he probably needs to be locked up for his own personal well being at this point. Bad move to try and publicly extort someone when you're about to go up in front of a judge. Somebody move the Artie death clock a few more minutes to midnight.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Artie might just be missing a part of his brain or something. This is a guy who as a teenager pretended to try to rob a bank as a joke.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Parking for the mature man only.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Wow. Jackie looks way better. Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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He vapes now. He’s developed popcorn lung.

Who’s more likely to show up at the wake/funeral Howard or Lexington Steel?

Better hope Beth doesn’t trip over one of her 30 cats and break her ankle again.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Bonzo posted:

The best Artie moment is when he was toward the end when he was obviously high during the show. Al Roker was the guest and in that Ed voice he said, "Did Katie Couric ever call you a friend of the family?" and the air just went out of the room.

Haha. That was so great. That was one time on hear I could hear Howard get actually angry at Artie on air and was basically telling him to shut the gently caress up.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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“Mr. Pre pre pre President, have you ever farted in your hand and smelled it?”

Two Kings fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Jun 29, 2018

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I hope Trump sends John to Gitmo.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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When’s the last time they played the Fred song?

“He’s a Fred He’s wonderful Fred”...

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Astro7x posted:

I would think that Fred and Robin combined probably have a $20 million/year salary.

I think it’s far less than that. I’m sure Robin does very well but I wouldn’t be surprised if Fred makes only a mil a year. Artie was making about 800k at the end. That was less than Baba Booey.

Two Kings fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 29, 2018

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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an adult beverage posted:

JD was on the cutting edge of paying camwhores. It's pretty well known and common now, but he was doing it back 10+ years ago in the wild west days of camwhoring. I remember Howard being shocked at the existence of chicks who will put peanut butter on their pussies for money on the internet.

I don’t know how much he makes now but it was especially incredible the amount of money he spent on porn when he was making almost nothing on the Stern show.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I know Dominic basically destroyed his life with drugs but what happens to Vinnie?

Is he still at CBS? Vice President of late night entertainment east coast or some crap like that or did he loose his gig when Letterman retired?

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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Only Richard would be more excited to meet Peter North than Jenna Jameson in her prime.

Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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I’ll just wait for the audiobook.

Richard and Sal’s version.

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Two Kings
Nov 1, 2004

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That’s one of the meanest things Howard has ever down on the show. At least he let Gary off after only a couple minutes. Still not as bad as the rainbow room incident where he tortured Fred on air for over an hour and almost drove him to quit. Miserable, angry pre-divorce Howard remains the most entertaining Howard.

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