VoodooSchmoodoo posted:

Hamilton is infamous for reusing the same bad phrases over and over again. One of the porn ones was something like 'and then she rolled her eyes up at him' and I just had this vision of Ms Blake removing her eyeballs and rolling them like in a craps game during a tender moment.

An Old Boot posted:

So, there is a story I think I can share, on the basis that the dude in question is actually on the list of sex offenders in my home state now, which means he has a record.

Do rear end-crazy "the moon landing literally never happened" conspiracy theorists who develop a full-on gay crush on your then-fiance and then follow you around your place of work when said then-fiance refuses their advances (claiming you are to blame and that you are basically Jim Jones because you disagree with him) count for this thread?

Or would that go to a different one.

Just checking.

_{As a note, if yes, I will be doing my best to tailor some details since the dude apparently was released and lives only a couple blocks away from us. I don't think he was ever a goon, but I don't want to take too many chances since he did end up being seriously threatening.}

Also jesus christ you guys had way worse classmates than I did in college. Half the teachers I had would have chucked the dude out at a moment's notice.

RazorBunny posted:

During the height of the vampire craze I was working on a short story about a business executive who happens to be a vampire. He comes in to work very early and leaves very late, and never goes out to lunch, and everyone assumes he's just a crazy hard worker. Also: night gardening.

I was never entirely happy with it, because I wanted it to be a horror story and I just don't write horror that well.

Queen of Knights posted:

Buried alive posted:

Sounds a lot like something that could be from Daybreakers, but I don't think that's actually it.

Intoner posted:

Well you're free to choose if you want to believe, you're not the first that don't believe it.
Next time my ex Kasumi, Lee and I meet we'll have a good laugh about this
I guess a story needs furry action or some other disgusting stuff to be true these days

I had another funny story about Lee, when we both were invited to a birthday of a girl from our school, but I'll better keep it to myself then.

I'll keep the thread anime-crazy exclusive then and only write about the narutards soon when I have time.

Mind Loving Owl posted:

Oh, oh God. It's staring into my soul!

Question Mark Mound posted:

Pretty sure it was an anime thing.

Beekeeping and You posted:

I went to an anime convention and met some dude because I was bored and he wanted a pokemon battle. He seemed cool, and had really cool friends, so I met up with him the next day.

He proceeded to tell me all about his fetish tumblr, and when I told him I had a boyfriend he sullenly ran off and proceeded to blow up my phone with questions about why he wasn't at the convention with me. Later, he sent me a selfie with a naked anime wallscroll clearly in the background.

The moral of the story is don't go to anime conventions.

Rexides posted:

Be careful not to trip on any whips or fursuits.


I wanna be friends with that dude.

Brightman posted:

I'd say there's decent odds he lives with his parents, so given the mindset of a 37 year old living in their parent's basement it might make sense.

Alternatively it makes sense if you're rushing things and only living there for the week or two it takes to find an apartment in the area.

Dick Burglar posted:

"Being hella-broke" makes perfect sense to me!

Poison Mushroom posted:

I know you mean "broke" as in "no money", but I at first read it as "broken as a human being" and it makes at least as much sense.

Edit There's also the possibility that one of them is from a culture where 'everybody lives in the same house' is kind of the norm. I know a lot of Mexican-Americans still follow that trend.

I am The Fury posted:

As if that type of person cares whether their parents, or anyone else for that matter, hear them loving (they almost definitely don't )

Whiz Palace posted:

I realized that if Meyers were successful, he'd be Vincent Adultman.

The Saddest Rhino posted:

i did a minor follow up at the AUG thread but i probably should post them here











also the link is now http://www.scribd.com/doc/76780402/Something-Awful-Henriette-Saga?secret_password=h3jrq5kg3tx97rrsipe

Hate Fibration posted:

Maybe the cause and effect is the other way around?

Maybe chronic pain makes people a little loopy.

Poison Mushroom posted:

Better coping mechanism than shooting people.

pookel posted:

Yeah, but no one should be letting their 9-year-olds read Game of Thrones either. I don't care how precocious the kid is, they don't need to be reading graphic, horrifying gang rape and torture scenes.

cptn_dr posted:

Back when I first read Game of Thrones, in the mid-2000s, it was in my local library's teen fiction section.
Teenage me was fine with this, but in retrospect, I'm very glad it's been shifted to adult fiction. It's no harder for teens to find, but at least we can pretend.

Stultus Maximus posted:

A Game of Thrones is a book, though.

Dogwood Fleet posted:

Chill out. What are you, astrally married to one of the unicorns in the series or something?

That drat Satyr posted:

I wish I had a super positive asskicking update to my story, but unfortunately I got what I got.

I have a restraining order against the entire Keister family, which has done little good. I'm still raising the cash to hire a lawyer and go for criminal charges against her for all this bullshit, but donations have really slowed down and I don't really know how else to keep promoting.

I still monitor the dispatch logs from her local sheriff's department. She still calls in every few days. The newest update is that in the past couple weeks she's began calling in using her mother's name as well, making the same claims (repeated calls from unknown number, etc etc etc) that she was before. I wrote a nice long email to that sheriff's department's CrimeStoppers division but I haven't heard back yet.

Sadly, I am almost certain that she is building to something with all of these calls etc. I just wish I knew what.

That drat Satyr posted:

As long as I see her coming, I'm a fair shot with a bow.

I will not deny that I have fantasized about this. ._. Hooray for SCA skills.


Yeah, that.

The thing is I'm pretty sure I'll never get a cent out of her, so my long term goal is to do my best to make her life miserable. IE: asking for her to have restricted internet access (not likely to happen), long term probation and required several times a week therapy (much more likely) and so on.

You know, just the little things.

lemon-lyme disease posted:

I'm assuming this was at least partially a joke (by all means correct me - in detail - if I'm wrong) but I got a real kick out of pondering how one might pursue (period appropriate?) drinking as an actual, measurable skill.

lemon-lyme disease posted:

See, it's the measurable part that gets me. It's a whole day later and it's STILL funnier than it should be:

"Sure, he has some technical skill where sloshing the grog around is concerned, but he consistently gets slightly too little froth on the surface of the table when he roars a toast."

"True, but his slurring technique has really improved since he's been training with Rita. She's really got a knack for teaching controlled incoherence."