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Pretty sure I've got my next Dungeon World character, you excellent bastard. Muy bien.
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Mar 14, 2013 16:11
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I can't decide whether this 4e game was good or bad, but I know for sure I loving hate my party. Here's who we had the other night: Goblin sorcerer that has rogue powers for some reason, who only ever uses Acid Orb and gets big damage on it. Dwarf paladin of Maglubiyet who thinks she's a goblin who rides an otyugh into battle and is still the worst party member because she doesn't ever mark anything. Hengeyokai avenger. Aramil, eladrin enchanter wizard (me). Kobold blaster wizard, fairly new. Lazy dragonborn warlord. We were in a shrine to the aberrant god Yzor inside a giant stronghold. We'd found a holy symbol of Yzor and decided to use it on the altar, turning it into a small orb of awful Far Realm energy. For some reason the DM seemed to be implying that there was more to do so I tried to use the pearl of madness, as it was called, on the colored glass wall at the back of the room with the awful tentacle beast in it. Bam! I'm save-ends dominated and plinking people with magic missiles left and right. But does my party attempt to grant me a save? gently caress no. I'm brought down to 19 HP (out of 71) before I save. Then the kobold tries to disable the evil wall and is dominated himself. By the time we all snap out of it, the warlord and both wizards have glowing purple tattoos of Yzor on their faces, all because we just needed one more encounter to hit level 14. At that point the DM took pity and let us level up on the way back to the camp of the tribe we were supposedly assisting. After some exposition, during which I bought a Curse Eye Tattoo and put it over the symbol of Yzor, we were sent off to the stone giant thane's castle to find out why he'd allied with the other, less friendly giants, and what had happened to the last diplomatic envoy. The kobold and goblin got to do a midair dogfight with a roc-riding giant sentry with their jetpack and ebon fly while the rest of us sat on our asses. Surprise, the fucker got away despite the goblin cutting his saddle off and the kobold pushing him through the air. We entered the castle via a secret entrance, snuck inside, encountered some stone giant kids, and instead of murdering them all, left a note: "Meet us outside the secret entrance. Signed, Dartak the Terrible" (that's the kobold). The giant queen and a fairly large contingent of guards arrived, and I watched in horror as, while the goblin hid in the tree, the kobold, warlord and avenger surrendered their weapons and agreed to go along with the giants. Granted the avenger was in dog form and had his weapon but for gently caress's sake, party. So it was down to me, the goblin and the paladin. Oh wait: the goblin takes off on his ebon fly after the hostages that were once my party. So it was down to me and the paladin, infiltrating the castle through the secret entrance. Oh wait: at the first sign of trouble, the paladin loving cuts and runs, leaving the wizard alone with half a dozen ropers, foulspawn, and vortex wraiths. It gets better: as I try to run past them who do I run into but the rest of my party, being escorted by the giants, demanding an explanation for this. "Drat," I cry, in character. "They've discovered my plot to derail the peace negotiations by assassinating the thane." 39 Bluff. Then I'm hit with 10 ongoing psychic damage and fall unconscious, and someone eventually CDGs me. But it works. The surviving party members are brought before the thane and share their news of the assassin Gargamel and his allies, a dwarf and a goblin. The thane declares that "it does not matter. The will of the Chained God will guide me." Surprise! He's being loving mind controlled by Yzor. The kobold remembers that he has a goddamn mark of Yzor on his face, previously covered by a bandage or something I don't know, but with 9 Charisma he bluffs the thane into retrieving my corpse and performing a special Speak with Dead ritual that will prevent my dead rear end from lying. "I spit on your faith, disciples of Yzor," says dead Aramil. "All shall be conquered. Glory to Bane!" Then I bugger off this mortal coil and refuse to come back for any reason, because while this was all fairly hilarious out-of-game, in-character (and to some extent in-person) I'm so done with these assholes. Apparently the party subsequently walked right out of the fortress, but as a final gently caress you, they forgot the warlord. I'm torn because my only options for local play and basically the only paragon-tier games I've seen anywhere are this clusterfuck and an all-drow, all the time PvP-enabled Menzoberran clusterfuck that's farther away. Captain Walker fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Mar 25, 2013 |
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Mar 25, 2013 19:58
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quote:Gorilla tactics Your DM has good taste Fake e: normally would post some content here to compensate for my trolling, but I haven't been in a group outside these forums since the last story I told you guys ;_;
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May 25, 2013 15:03
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Well at least Blink made out ok 
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Jun 4, 2013 14:41
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Doesn't the builder keep your dudes for as long as you have a login even if your DDI sub lapses?
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Jun 6, 2013 14:59
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mmj posted:Yalborap ran me through a one-off set in the mass effect universe and it was a really good first experience. He helped me out with character creation, gave me a fun mission to play through and was really good with helping me to understand the whole thing. He also made it easy for me to get into character a bit and play around in the world. It was a lot of fun and I'm definitely going to try and find a group I can play with now. It's hard to get mad about the cranky grogs I'm stuck with when reading stories like these 
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Jun 14, 2013 15:17
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E: Nvm
Captain Walker fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Aug 22, 2013 |
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Aug 22, 2013 03:16
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the_steve posted:This sounds like a pretty cut and dry case of "DM didn't like your character concept and decided to be passive aggressive about it." The DM was forcing multiple rounds of Athletics-or-die checks, I figure they didn't like anyone's character
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May 18, 2021 02:32
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Trying to find a specific villain write-up (I think it was a 4e stat block) from a former incarnation of this thread. Do the words "libertarian Batman" ring any bells?
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Jun 8, 2021 00:42
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Yawgmoth posted:Just because you like a certain kind of puzzle or riddle or even encounter design does not mean their rest of your group will. There's always gotta be an option for "roll a thing, move on". I played a Night's Black Agents game that was great right up until we actually got the Dracula Dossier. It died almost immediately after, because the dossier is a million plot threads waiting to be pulled on, and the momentum slowed to a crawl while our crack team of former spies tried to figure out "what do now" Unrelated, but since I asked about the Libertarian Batman: here is the hero Sharn deserves
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Jun 8, 2021 07:03
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JustJeff88 posted:it can be very hard to differentiate between 'there's nothing here, try something else' and 'there is something here, we just haven't found it yet'. I read this phrase in relation to organized play, but it's great for general use too: "It is obvious to you that nothing of use will be found in this chamber." Or: "You recognize the shoddy limestone used in this sculpture, and it is obvious to you that the great ugly thing really is just for decoration." Or: "There are thousands of of fingerprints on the pillar from those who explored these halls long before you. Since none found a secret, it is obvious to you that the pillar has no secrets to find." Or even: "A previous adventurer carelessly left 2d6 + 4 gold in the alcove, but it is obvious to you that the painting itself serves no purpose beyond creepy ambience."
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Jun 9, 2021 00:58
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Tunicate posted:Cool. I loot the painting. The ancient frame breaks as you take it down--something is drawn on the back of the painting!! ...a crude sketch of the male genitalia, in thick ink visible from the other side of the parchment. Nice going, Peruggia. Railing Kill posted:four minutes of silence Didn't realize it when I played but Earthbound recycles this concept for the Mu training later on, only because it's Earthbound the game escalates in the weirdest way, gradually adding a threat that you cannot do anything about. You start to wonder "am I in actual danger here? Is this guy gonna take my soul and my save file??" Earthbound was one of a kind, man.
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Jun 9, 2021 01:21
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Agrikk posted:On that thought, now I'm curious: How many of us play by the [game system of choice] rules as written vs how many of us pick and choose and alter and delete rules, turning [game system] into a more customized thing? late to this discussion, but my DM philosophy is "I don't make the rules, I just choose what to enforce and when" E: CobiWann posted:According to my DM, I'm not allowed to refer to the Monster Manual as a Waifu Guide. Hephner's Instructions for Seduction reveals the secrets of creatures that think they're immune to charm, with new spells like detect hot singles, expanded rules for increasing an intelligent monster's attitude beyond just "friendly", and ok fine it's just an in-world PUA manual Captain Walker fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Jun 18, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 23:54
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Canuck-Errant posted:Wouldn't Locate Hot Singles be more useful than Detect Hot Singles? more effective, sure, but it requires 499 gold worth of material components, consumed every week as long as it's in your spell list
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Jun 18, 2021 17:42
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How pure is your dungeon crawl, exactly? If you expect to encounter puzzles or negotiate with NPCs, Legend Lore. If ability checks in your game are limited to "bend bars, lift gates, disarm traps" etc., Greater Restoration is more useful than a higher-level healing spell imo, especially because it's one of the only ways to remove exhaustion.
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Jun 18, 2021 23:44
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Railing Kill posted:It's not all combat and traps. We run into puzzles/mysteries, and have non-combat interactions regularly with NPCs. (We just ran into a friendly Ettin last time, for example. They tried very gently and sheepishly to shake us down for a toll, but we just had a friendly chat with them instead and then spent our long rest having a picnic with them. I love your game
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Jun 19, 2021 04:33
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Thank you for reminding me that Double Cross exists
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Jul 8, 2021 22:07
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Agrikk posted:To The Jailbreak If your world survives whatever in the gently caress is going on here, you've ruined the hero business. After graduating from goblins and giant rats, zombos and skellies are a crucial next step before the plot kicks in and heroes trained mercenaries. Generations of adventurers will see their careers hit a dead end at 3rd level* and they'll have to go back home, cursing your names all the while. *by traditional D&D standards, even though it seems like you're playing another game ZZT the Fifth posted:I will sum up this exchange from my hursday night Curse of Strahd game I'm running with a piece of art one of my best friends drew. At least everybody has the decency to look suitably chastised, except Jason Vorhees over there. Which one of these beautiful idiots is speaking?
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Jul 11, 2021 07:59
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I can't say I ever really understood what the hell was going on in these stories, but it was always entertaining as hell to read them anyway, partly because of their sheer scale. Thank you for posting this epic-in-the-classical-sense tale. I hope the Archmage's garden is doing well 
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Jul 16, 2021 16:54
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Just when you thought it was safe to play a Paladin again, Lay on Tongue becomes a real thing you can do
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Aug 4, 2021 16:59
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Space Kablooey posted:Is it vegan, though? Material components: milk and eggs, bitch.
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Aug 31, 2021 08:29
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Night10194 posted:the smug medic demanding to see death's manager and impressing the Watcher, the father of all necromancy just to clarify, the manager and the necromancer were the same person? definitely stealing this line and building a whole character concept around it
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Sep 14, 2021 16:35
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"Your mission is to infiltrate the enemy keep and disrupt their operations. Sabotage equipment, eliminate personnel, and breach defenses so the party can walk right in. This is a solo infiltration mission, and if you're captured, the Circle of Druids will disavow any knowledge of your existence. Do you accept the assignment, Agent?" "HONK" Captain Walker fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Sep 23, 2021 |
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Sep 23, 2021 17:46
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Yawgmoth posted:My squirrel anima mage has a +26 intimate check and every time I have rolled it I have been successful at menacing something far bigger. It's been amazing and I am going to miss playing him (our final encounter is this Sunday). the picture of Dorian Green
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Oct 6, 2021 18:50
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Ichabod Sexbeast posted:This is a really good story and I appreciate your game, but I like the idea of the wizard tower just being in the middle of Bristol or Manchester or something Ever ask yourself why you never see anyone actually riding the London Eye? It's obviously a glamor obscuring a wizard's tower from casual observation
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Oct 21, 2021 17:19
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if there aren't warforged it isn't Eberron
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Nov 16, 2021 02:35
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The Something Awful Forums › Discussion > Games > Traditional Games › Notable Gaming Experiences: The Gospel According to CobiWann's DM
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Nov 23, 2021 18:35
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Emptyquote + new page snipe in the same post? That's so stupid I'm definitely allowing it
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Nov 23, 2021 18:41
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Cobalt-60 posted:In Kobolds Ate My Baby! it is...or at least was, at once point. With others such as "awful stupid," "chaotic awful," and "blonde." blonde axis: legally blonde, basic blonde, illegally blonde
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Dec 6, 2021 17:19
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CobiWann posted:My DM says "heh." Would he care to weigh in again?
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Dec 14, 2021 17:51
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for the unfamiliar:CobiWann posted:I’ve been playing in a 5th ed D&D campaign for the past few months with a homebrewed setting.
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Dec 15, 2021 19:15
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CobiWann posted:According to my DM, dice don’t need to roll well. Dice need to roll dramatically. that guy is thread title material, all right
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Dec 19, 2021 20:44
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JustJeff88 posted:Let's not get ahead of ourselves. When talking about the pantheon, Who's on first. Warlock When? Why's he care about the gods all of a sudden?
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Jan 17, 2022 17:46
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CobiWann posted:No, there's no game Tomorrow. poo poo, I can't play next week because rolls 2d6 my cousin's stepdad's kid is rolls 2d10 having a bat mitzvah, and I can't get out of it because rolls 4d6, drops lowest I can't convince them they're not Jewish just because they saw Alfred Molina in Fiddler on the Roof the one time.
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Jan 20, 2022 18:32
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Tunicate posted:Personally I think nobody likes the Designated Hitter Rule and he should be fired. You're thinking of No One. Nobody is outspoken about the Designated Critical Hitter Rule, where whoever's had the shittiest rolls all night can be given one encounter of rerolls on successes, potentially resulting in a crit. It's popular in the minor leagues, anyway.
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Jan 21, 2022 21:38
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Grey Hunter posted:Default on your loans, lose your bones. My current setting is recovering from an apocalyptic event and doesn't have much use for centralized banking, but there's absolutely a world where Fourth Circle Savings and Loan is a major power. Any warlock will tell you that their collateral is unusual but their rates vey reasonable, and that you can easily earn your soul back by 14th level. For those not interest in power, coins and other valuables you store with the bank can be accessed from anywhere on the material plane from your obsidian card.
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Jan 31, 2022 19:05
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Fantasy mimicking technology is funny and all, but the opposite leaves a much stronger impress if your setting supports it. In Shin Megami Tensei IV, the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado hosts an order of elite demon-fighting warriors called Samurai, chosen by powerful relics called Gauntlets by the sages of the Monastery. Each Gauntlet is inhabited by a sprite named Burroughs, who calls her master by name and assists Samurai commanders in scrying on the knights under their command. It's obvious to the player that the Gauntlet is some kind of high tech device; "being chosen" literally involves touching the bottom screen on the 3DS, which then reads USER RECOGNIZED in "the mystic script" (presumably hiragana and modern kanji, as opposed to the more archaic written Japanese seen elsewhere). Burroughs is a built in AI capable of distinguishing between users and transmitting their positions. A major plot point is that the characters have no frame of reference for these things; all printed material approved by the Monastery is history, liturgy, praise of God, or all three. A big plot beat early on is the introduction of "Literature" to Mikado, including a story about a female knight in a fictional kingdom called France. When you later descend to the country of the Unclean Ones, those not chosen by God to live in Mikado, series veterans will quickly recognize Tokyo, post demon apocalypse. Anyway, back to infernal financial institutions: CobiWann posted:"This is *tortured screams of the damned* Sending from the Second Bank of Dispater," The browser game Fallen London is so named because it takes place in a London that has been swallowed into the underground by enigmatic Masters of the Bazaar. One of my favorite item descriptions is Nevercold Brass; Hell is literally just up the river, and it's described as their chief export. "You thought that was souls? No, they don't export souls."
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Feb 1, 2022 18:01
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Haschel Cedricson posted:had absolutely no side quests planned so I ripped off the episode of Star Trek DS9 where Jake and Nog buy a ton of packets of a condiment called "Yamok sauce" from Quark and keep on trading until they end up with a plot of land that they sell for a ton of money. I think there's a Japanese folk tale along these lines. Multiple JRPGs have a trading duel sidequest where you and a rival start with something like a pair of chopsticks, useless to you but valuable to someone else, and after enough trades you end up with something worth big ¥¥¥.
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Feb 18, 2022 18:26
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Ichabod Sexbeast posted:They used to, but the Rakshasa overton window has been sprinting towards lawful evil so drat hard that ORNN is more of a problem now had to google "Overton window". and they say games can't be educational!
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Apr 20, 2022 19:37
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CobiWann posted:According to our Cleric, you pronounce it ”MOTORHEAD!” while taking a shot of Jack Daniels. Abyssal pronunciation: mix 1 1/2 oz whiskey, 1/2 oz mead, and 2oz boiling water in a large clay mug. When the whisky is almost settled on top, light it on fire. Consume immediately. As an action, you can drink this cocktail and belch out a swear word. For 1 hour, you can correctly pronounce words in the Abyssal language. This does not grant you proficiency in spoken Abyssal, only the ability to pronounce it without accent. If the effect of the Abyssal pronunciation ends before you take a long rest, make a DC 20 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, you gain one level of exhaustion as you suffer the literal hangover from hell. On a success, you are instead poisoned for 1 minute as you suffer a figurative hangover from literal hell.
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May 23, 2022 18:46
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