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Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Urdnot Fire posted:

Speaking of good games, Bonkey Trek just went free.




Get it, you know you want to.

I don't know what this is but it looks to be right up my dumb rear end alley.


And speaking of actual games, I have to say I'm a little disappointed in Riptide GP. It looks nice and controls okay I guess but coming from the developers of the most recent Hydro Thunder I expected more out if the physics. Wave Race or Splashdown this isn't. It's a rather shallow package as well with only a small handful of tracks and crafts.

However their free to play endless racer Beach Buggy Blast is a lot more fun. The physics and handling are dead on even if the art style is really offputting.

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Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
My Bonkey just cut his lip and mouth on a tin can and died 4.5 miles from my destination. That being said Bonkey Trek is probably has probably the best implementation of IAP and this thread could learn a thing or three from it.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Yes and from what I can tell there are two good endings.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Is there anything worth getting? I guess this is the full list here: http://www.technobuffalo.com/2013/03/27/ea-games-for-ios-sale-easter/


Holy poo poo Snood and Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3?

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

SuperHappy posted:

.....maybe it's time for me to start playing actual games?

This. Pixel People entertained me on a long plane flight but as soon as I realized there was no actual game other than "how do I avoid the paywall" I deleted it. Awful.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
So I saw from TA that SEGA iOS games are on sale. Are the ports of Crazy Taxi, House of the Dead Overkill or After Burner any good?

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Bummey posted:

Crazy religious nutbar MDickie's Wrestling Revolution (Pro, full version) just went :siren: free :siren: It's really weird.

http://www.appshopper.com/games/wrestling-revolution-pro

You should probably experience this.

How well do the controls work in this? I remember the PC version being complicated as hell which was part of the charm I guess.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Raveyyy posted:

Also, yes the game does cross-platform with PC and eventually Android when that version comes out.

Oh poo poo what. Does the iPad version contain the content from the Red expansion?

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Wouldn't the final fantasy race be like golems or some other construct that's not natural?? Those always seem to be lingering around for thousands of years after their makers. Sure as hell wouldn't be elves, seems like in fantasy stories they're always dying out for one depressing reason or another.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
It's a very neat little puzzle platformer with some good jazzy music. I liked it.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

robodex posted:

Temple Run 2 is particularly bad for this and is part of why I stopped playing it very quickly (the challenges get really hard after awhile)

Nothing about Temple Run 2 is hard but boy is it tedious. I stopped playing when all of my challenges became grinds instead of actual goals you can do in a run. It's lovely and lazy as hell.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Yeah the progression in 10,000,000 is handled really well.


Also holy poo poo Dead Ahead is actually a good endless runner.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I don't understand the car jumping objective in Dead Ahead. I've jumped over hella vehicles in one run but since there's no counter or any sign that they're registering I have no idea if it's being picky about cars vs vans vs busses, really finicky about what it counts as over or if it's just broken.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I've been playing Dead Ahead a lot whilst pooping and it's great for that but it's a shame that the game just kind of peters out. It doesn't get any harder after the third location and the last area is just marked as "coming soon."

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

Jump 10 cars? Check.
200+ combo? Check
Survive for 4:00 minutes?



:suicide:

Most of the challenges can be trivialized with the double ammo and quick reload perks but the one that's a motherfucker for me is Kill 300 Zombies With Any Machine Gun because the ones I have access to are worthless. The game is just a grind now, there's no more actual challenge besides "play this for a long time" anymore. :\

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I can't stop playing Super Hexagon.


Help.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
It's Punch Out with swords and touch screen controls. They're not bad games, a little repetitive and grindy but still fun.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Coldrice posted:

Hey guys my first ever game just hit the market today:

https://itun.es/us/46VqN.i

It's COMPLETELY free. It's called bitcrobes- it's a microorganism game. Kinda like physics based pacman with upgrades. Even if you just download it then delete it after 1 minute I'd still feel good that you took the time to play my little game.

Gave this a shot, I guess you're still working on it as it seems completely broken on my iPhone 5. Seems like a neat idea but kind of unplayable at the moment.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

duckfarts posted:

Sprinkle is currently free; it's a kind of neat water physics game.

Neat! Thanks for that. But in other news, uh http://toucharcade.com/2013/06/26/colin-mcrae-rally-breathes-new-life-into-a-playstation-racing-classic/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHjtnhsuY9w

:psyduck:

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

DIEGETIC SPACEMAN posted:

Don't drink and drive, kids.

If this game really is the predecessor of the Dirt series, then its focus is on being as realistic as possible. I played Dirt 2 on the 360, and it's basically the Gran Turismo/Forza of rally racing games. It was hard enough to play with a joystick and analog triggers (I was only slightly better than whoever was playing in that video), so playing on an iPad sounds like a terrible idea.

I only started playing Colin McRae with 3 but that game was pretty brutal but loving rad as hell. 4 was great too and if you have any interest in rally driving you owe it to yourself to track them down.

Eegah posted:

A terribly-controlling port of a 15 year old PS1 game that was 2nd of a like 30-game series named after a guy who's been dead for years? Christmas came early.

Yeah it's real weird. Honestly if they were going to port rally-ish PS1 games to the iPad I'd expect this to be a much better fit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkPbuzODOcw

:allears:

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Fallom posted:

Non-freemium games seem to be surviving ok on iOS. Hell, you might even poach some customers who play timer-based games and suddenly realize "Wait, for $5 I can build my own city on my own time without being asked to buy energy crystals every 5 minutes to keep playing?"

That might just be a dream I have, though.

I'd hope the concept of "I can actually control things and play a loving game instead of spending money on an energy meter to do nothing" appeals to some people. Maybe not enough though.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I kind of don't want to play Alpaca 2 in the hopes it gets translated at some point because I feel like I'm missing out on so much. Also I have no idea what the new red bar in the top right is supposed to do.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
That's a great app icon but something about Titan Evolution just seems worse.

Also that dude seems to have made like five of these drat games.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I bought and supported King of Dragon Pass. I will become the King of Dragon Pass if that's even a thing you do in that game.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Helmacron posted:

What I do have trouble with is that the game has too much superfluous stuff. I don't want to watch the crappy unskippable cutscenes after my first playthrough. I guess what I'd like is more like a prettier original X-Com. And I'm waiting for the patch that means I can play more than one mission before the game crashes.

What cutscenes are unskippable? I seem to remember that option for all cinematics in the PC version.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
But then you have to carry a controller around with you which is equally balls.

e: along with a way of standing the iDevice up at a comfortable viewing angle

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Straight up locking that functionality out of pre-5 models (especially the 4S which I believe still has the market share) would be a real kick in the dick for any game developers hoping to support that functionality.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
No I can't say I have.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

tut posted:

Dungeonism is a really fun new turn based/roguelike. Great gameplay and graphics to match. It's got a lot going for it. Had to grind a bit but once I did it really opened up.

App Store link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/dungeonism/id659907714?mt=8

I really like the art style going on here.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Welp I beat Peggle again on iOS. I think that makes the third time I've played through that stupid game.



please don't make peggle 2 ftp tia

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
So I finally got a chance to play Infinity Blade 2 and...man I don't know. It looks great, I love the armor and enemy designs and it's still mostly fun but for something so repetitive it's so sloooow. Thank goodness for that fast forward button because I'll be damned if I'm watching my dorky dude stagger around a castle over and over again.

I kinda wish there was more different from the first game though. I still hate that there's no way to be on the offensive and the fact that everyone just speaks English now takes away from the mystery of the first game's setting. That and your character is just some boring bald space marine looking dude now. Eh.

Chair is obviously a talented developer but I just hope the next thing they do is a bit more ambitious. I'd like a game like Infinity Blade with a proper combat engine and more freedom to explore but I know that wouldn't work worth a drat on a mobile device.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Can I raise rent on Pop Tate to force him into a life of poverty and despair while I turn his beloved Chock'lit Shoppe into a Starbucks??

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I bet Apple's reasoning for not allowing apps to lock certain devices out is that they don't want to encourage developers to target certain platforms but on the other hand they'll easily let apps through that are completely broken on one device or another. They've really got to get their poo poo together if they're planning on further fragmenting their lineup.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Bus Derby is pretty much the best iOS racing game I've ever played.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozwxa11GBLQ

I'm not even kidding. Maybe there's better poo poo for the iPad but on an iPhone it's perfect, like some PS1 relic that was never released and resurfaced in a Wal*mart bargain bin. Play it.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Bonkey Trek is amazing. Sadly just about every other one of his games was unplayable.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
I guess Warping Warpig was okay. It was no Bonkey Trek but really what is.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Safari Rescue Pro Tip: shoving animals down into the core of the Earth apparently counts as rescuing them

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Bummey posted:

Bad Piggies is a good game.



Fuckin Rovio.

Yeah even though Angry Birds' breakout into other bits of culture is stupid I don't think anyone can fault Rovio for making genuinely good games.

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Captain Matchbox posted:

Copying old flash games = genuinely good

Yeah well I can't play Flash games on my iPhone whilst pooping so :colbert:

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Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch
Here's a game involving trains made by the dude who wrote Futile: http://trainyard.ca/

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