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Seven Hundred Bee posted:Let's start a group fanfiction. his parents thumb pricked it only needed one, oracle wiped on her head and said "wow Benny"
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Feb 10, 2014 05:55
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Also get naked 
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Feb 11, 2014 02:21
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nerve posted:Benny didn't lose the Thunderdome. He wasn't even a dishonorable mention. ....what the gently caress?
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Feb 11, 2014 17:41
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The cult of Benny
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Feb 13, 2014 17:40
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But did you learn anything from them? And will you apply what you learned?
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Feb 14, 2014 04:06
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Arian_Samurai posted:Get a job at a different grocery store and learn to drive. When you apply at grocery stores don't mention your degree or job at target. He's right! Driving is pretty easy once you get the hang of it. And it's something you'll never forget how to do, just like riding a bike or guiding a shopping car.... Oh god Benny, please never get a license.
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Feb 14, 2014 14:39
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No Longer Flaky posted:Hey I posted in this thread, commend me. Good job bro 
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Feb 16, 2014 18:17
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Ursine Asylum posted:Oh well. At least there's progress on the job front. Is that an American thing, or is he just putting his English degree to shame again?
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Feb 27, 2014 03:49
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Does Sears have shopping carts?
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Feb 27, 2014 06:33
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I do for shits and giggles
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Feb 28, 2014 21:11
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Obdicut posted:Maybe this thread will be helpful to the person who realizes they've accomplished less than Benny and the thought so shames them they change their lives. I've just been going to school, does that count 
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Mar 1, 2014 00:49
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Benny the Snake posted:Hey I said lying came natural to me: I never said I was any good at it. We found our new thread title. Benny the Snake: It comes natural to me; I never said I was any good at it.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:04
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Benny can you go near playgrounds?
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Mar 3, 2014 18:46
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life is killing me posted:Oh...right. Yeah. Yeah, we are. Were? Were. My Mass Effect/Vikings crossover fan fiction was hailed by my mother (my publisher/agent) as the best thing she's read, ever. That says a lot, because she reads some high-level poo poo, like Danielle Steele and Fifty Shades of Grey. That's it! Benny needs to write erotic fiction! fakee: I mean the market for self publishing that can't get any lower! No costs!
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Mar 4, 2014 18:18
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Croc Monster posted:Luis picked at the pile of rocks with his pick. Sweat dripped from his thick accented brow. He look up at the person picking next to him and said "yo Holmes, it is hot, is it not?" loving gold right here.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:52
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Benny the Snake is SomethingAwful's own resident CWC
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Mar 5, 2014 15:44
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Robot_Rumpus posted:So, I don't think anyone here is afraid of making 'borderline libelous' statements about him, what you said has nothing to do with a parody and I'm not sure you know what the meaning of the phrase you used is. Because he lies by omission 
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Mar 5, 2014 18:38
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What exactly is a fellowship? Sounds like he was temporarily part of a cult. Speaking of which...
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Mar 6, 2014 04:34
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Quantum Finger posted:Benny you should revisit my crack idea. Maybe you could get into dealing first before you get hooked. Many successful people started by selling crack. Just look at Jay-Z!
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Mar 14, 2014 06:46
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Tyrannosaurus posted:What are the odds Benny didn't actually work on that campaign? One day Benny wandered in with a shopping cart, and no one had the heart to tell him to go away.
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Mar 15, 2014 02:15
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cname posted:This entire thread had been swindled into that stupid loving thunderdome distraction. Don't think you can be swindled into laughing about how pathetic Benny is. I'm a fan of whatever form it takes.
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Mar 15, 2014 18:29
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Benny the Snake posted:The TD incident made me come to terms for the umpteenth time about my habitual lying. The last time was after I was fired from Target, and I swore to myself that this wouldn't happen again and that I wouldn't lie when I was caught doing something wrong. I just hope this time I can finally kick the habit. If I expect to find work and keep it, I have to squash this habit now. Lying to yourself about coming to terms with your lying habit? This rabbit hole goes deep...
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Mar 16, 2014 04:37
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Fugue Stater posted:If we start playing the guessing game of which basic facts Benny has been lying or telling the truth about, this whole thread will get completely bogged down in Usual Suspects Kaizer Soze poo poo. What if Benny is a girl!? 
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Mar 16, 2014 09:09
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quote:...phantom dreams of teaching... 
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Mar 27, 2014 04:17
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Arch Stanton posted:He can't even consistently use the right word twice within a single sentence.
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Apr 9, 2014 20:43
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Croc Monster posted:Because poking a stick at a diaper making GBS threads anchor baby is fun! This but unironically
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Apr 12, 2014 19:16
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Glad you're doing well, but I'd be lying if I'm not a bit disappointed you didn't come back with tales of how you rammed a shopping cart through your house.
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Apr 17, 2014 03:15
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CellarDweller posted:Getting your wisdom teeth pulled really is not that bad, they give you prescription painkillers. If it comes to that don't worry about being in crippling pain or anything. As for expensive the reality is if you have to have it done you have to have it done. Unless you have dry socket in which case you're completely hosed
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May 7, 2014 06:54
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Strategic Tea posted:I love how this thread shits on Benny even when he is making progress Coming to this thread to feel good is a recipe for disaster
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May 7, 2014 22:12
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Toriori posted:And black tea bags. They can really help soothe pain if you wet it, then rest on the extraction area. Be so careful not to get a dry socket. Benny is gonna get dry socket and it'll be hilarious 
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May 8, 2014 16:34
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Benny the Snake posted:I got back from the dentist. I need five fillings for five cavities. I'm also getting a wisdom tooth pulled out because it's giving me pain. All the procedures, plus a cleaning and today's examination, will cost me about $700. It would've cost me about $200 more if I didn't opt for cheaper fillings. In fact, if I was under Medi-Cal, the cheap fillings would be covered. Here's the thing: it was my Mom who applied the whole family for Medi-Cal, so she's the only one who can find out the status of our application. I could've applied on my own and avoided all this but she insisted that we do it as a family so we could all share the costs. It sounded like a good idea at the time, I guess. Benny the Snake posted:One of the things that separates me from Ignatius is that I don't write nearly as much as he does. Speaking of which, what does everyone think about my recent TD submission? Hahahahahahahahaha never change benny.
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May 21, 2014 09:41
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Tipps posted:As a lawyer and an avid reader of this thread, please don't get a job doing legal administration at a law firm if you are having issues with being careless and/or lacking attention to detail. Oh my god I want Benny to work in law so bad
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May 29, 2014 07:38
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Benny should be a cop
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May 31, 2014 18:45
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Haha Benny didn't even graduate from college.
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Jun 3, 2014 08:04
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systran posted:No, I know people on SA who just refuse to get a job and use "depression" as an excuse to put in no effort at all. It's easy to pile onto Benny, but at least he's always trying/lying/making excuses about getting jobs...beats a lot of people who have already given up. Sometimes I think not trying is better than being Benny. At least with not trying your awfulness isn't spread around like an out-of-control shopping cart.
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Jun 5, 2014 00:17
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oval office raja posted:Everyone just quote this
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Jun 6, 2014 01:54
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Benny the Snake posted:I'm not posting my diploma. What diploma 
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Jun 6, 2014 05:29
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oval office raja posted:never, our only hope is to vote it a one and pray it gets gassed voted 5
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Jun 7, 2014 04:15
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Benny the Snake posted:Uhhhh welllll actually guys, I made up the whole thing about volunteering at a library Not even surprised at this point, really.
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Jun 9, 2014 17:15
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Have you considered porn? I'm sure someone else would like to watch you live out your baby fantasies.
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Jun 10, 2014 21:45
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