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Benny the Snake posted:This game is so full of grammatical errors that it's comical. Oh, Benny, it is...it really is 
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Feb 4, 2014 00:24
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 12:16 |
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 You have to be loving kidding me, Benny. Really? When I was about 17 I was convinced that I had a wonderful novel in me (as the cliché goes). I started writing it. It was awful. The difference between you and me is that I quickly realised that and did something else instead. It was still better crafted than this poo poo (and don't doubt for a moment that my writings were utter poo poo). You are in your mid/late 20s, still convinced that your piss-poor writing will one day set the world on fire. I was firmly in the "ROOTING FOR BENNY" camp for a while, but, honestly, gently caress you for not listening to most of the suggestions that people have given you here in good faith. Stop fannying around in goddamn thunderdome like that's a good goal to be working towards - if you think that is anything other than avoiding what you should be doing then you are lying to yourself. Shovel poo poo, Benny. Surely you can manage that? Oh who am I loving kidding. You'll be here, February 2015, pissing on about how you are really, really, REALLY, SUPERREALLY following up on this one great lead you have (definition: doing gently caress all). There are people who have had pubic hair for a shorter time than this thread has been running that have a nice little Saturday job for pocket money where they don't ram carts into cars. Think about that.
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Feb 10, 2014 07:28
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Benny the Snake posted:He told me that he won't start hiring 'till May when all the summer movies start coming out. He told you that to semi-politely get you to go away, you loving oblivious idiot. THERE IS NO JOB IN MAY FOR YOU. This mañana bullshit is unbelievable. It's always "i'll maybe call next Monday or something". Do it loving NOW. I had some sympathy for a while because I know what it's like to be unemployed and passed over for being over/under-qualified, but no amount of "boo-hoo the economy" can excuse your putting everything off bullshit, Benny. I'd recommend you suck cocks in shady back alleys for change, but you'd probably just bite the glans off and then whine in this thread that you didn't know one shouldn't do that. And ask for compensation. In comics. Also, realtalk, stop trawling for good vibes in thunderdome, you stupid twat. Edit: ONE HUNDRED PAGES OF INACTION. franco fucked around with this message at 01:52 on Feb 27, 2014 |
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Feb 27, 2014 01:38
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Shelf Adventure posted:The guy at the movie theatre probably brushed him off and there is no job I'm May So, exactly what I said?
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Feb 27, 2014 01:59
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Maybe you need to take a break. I possibly do. I apologise for my outburst. I'd remove it, but it has been quoted anyway, so I'll leave it as a monument to why one shouldn't post angry.
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Feb 27, 2014 09:51
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echopapa posted:Do it well and they'll give you a good reference. Easy as that. I think I've spotted a major flaw in your idea. "I have a better way to stuff an envelope!" and many bird deaths will occur. e: although I do yearn for him volunteering at an alcohol abuse support group and calling in hungover one day 
franco fucked around with this message at 12:01 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 11:55
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From 3 pages ago, but I felt that this bon mot deserves its moment in the sun that it never got...Sigma-X posted:
 I feel I'm going to regret this serious advice (please don't use bleach on that priceless Persian rug), but have you looked into any cleaning jobs yet, Benny? You have talked a lot in the earlier stages of this thread about the problems of fitting work in and around your potential studies/schedule - depending on what kind of gig you go for, there will be a tonne of options from doing the earlybird shift for a couple of hours at a corporate office or the like to privately scrubbing for a busy working family etc etc. The former requires little to no human interaction and the latter will often be cash in hand. Win...win? I know I have definitely not been the kindest about your plight in this thread, but surely that's something you could do for a while to save some cash and move on? Hours could be flexible as hell. Anecdotal support for the idea: I'm a dealer in a casino and one of our cleaners is the sperglord to end all sperglords - lank, long, greasy hair; pubebeard; too loud quavering voice; no idea of when to stop oversharing his thoughts - the works. But he's a nice/harmless chap and gets on with the job and does it splendidly. Understand that I'm not saying that that is exactly YOU, Benny, just that if the epitome of awkward can do it, then...hopefully, so can you? You've implied that you chore it up at mom's house so surely you can wipe a skirting board or operate a vacuum without running it into a car, yes?
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Mar 4, 2014 12:50
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Croc Monster posted:Aaaahahahaha. Magic 8 Ball says "outlook not so good." I know, man, I know. I'm trying so hard to be positive. Maybe Benny could write a thank you card to the bereaved owner of the cat that he hoovered up and turn it all around (scribbled in the bathroom and presented to them as they're crying over that bloated appliance and lack of cat, of course)
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Mar 4, 2014 14:55
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Tasty_Crayon posted:I feel compelled to address the person two pages back who suggested house cleaning. That would be me. I really didn't think that part through, did I? Do you think literally "shovelling poo poo" would be gently caress-upable? If so, I'm all outta ideas. Ah, I forgot the "Can you reliably travel to the manure farm Y/N?" question. I got nothing. happyflurple posted:If anyone in your family owns a car, lay down behind it, get them to back over your legs, claim disability, sorted. ^^^ go with this instead.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:58
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t3h z0r posted:Granted I would love to come back to this thread 5 years from now and see that nothing has changed. Unless 'tax shuts up shop within that time, I'm pretty sure your wish will be granted.
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Mar 6, 2014 12:59
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The main tragedy in all of this is the glaring omission of a review of The Hangover on Benny's film blog. Or even Hard Target 
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Mar 7, 2014 22:19
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Mar 7, 2014 22:21
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 It all makes so much sense now. The circle is complete. Go get them Grammas, Benny! Diapers don't change themselves! Aqua Bear posted:A loving grown man. This is essentially the thread, distilled.
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Mar 17, 2014 00:40
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almightyerin posted:Edit: Aah never mind. It's not worth it. Pure Benny-channeling right here. Would make a good new thread title.
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Mar 21, 2014 22:57
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Colorfinger posted:I recorded this, I hope you don't mind.  CellarDweller posted:I assume it has to do with everyone finding out about the adult baby fetish. Darth123123 posted:Adult baby. That's why he left. He's posted five times after that particular revelation. Are you just forgetting about his superpower of being able to cherry-pick only the things he wants to respond to? He's had similar gaps in the past, I wouldn't read too much into it. A little speculative fetish mudslinging isn't going to stop ARE BENNY. Ursine Asylum posted:There's not been an influx of hugboxing, so Benny's got no reason to post. That's more likely the case. Y'know it just dawned on me - Ben deserves props for bucking an e/n trend - 127 pages and a year+ later and he still left his OP intact. Of course that could merely be down to  , but I like to hope he's committed, if clueless.
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Mar 25, 2014 11:07
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Lolie posted:All we need now is a Benny animation by Everdraed to go with this and e/n can give all their golden manbabies 555. Veskit posted:Well it won't get much better than this until everdraed posts a benny gif with this song attached. Well played, goon sire. Jesus, Everdraed is a talented animator, but this "summoning" bullshit is embarrassingly goony poo poo. You gonna ask for a bigpeeler/hakan story about Benny, or maybe a Game Quoter appropriate screen cap next? Even Benny has managed to not pre-emptively rip the arse out of a joke 
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Mar 25, 2014 16:27
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Aqua Bear posted:We're all going to feel really silly when Benny puts a link to this thread in the acknowledgements section of his future bestseller. We all know he'd put that in the foreword by means of an accidental cut-and-paste in the middle of an unrelated sentence. Other writers would go "oops, silly me!" and clean up the mistake. Benny will see the mistake and go "oh well I know that that's wrong but I wasn't meaning for this to be my best book" and leave it right there.
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Mar 25, 2014 21:19
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Well Benny may have had limited success in the job market, but I just discovered that he HAS finally "made it" in one way...his very own ED article (which I won't link)!
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Apr 9, 2014 23:21
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It's going to be closed tomorrow (one of the hire-ups will probably do it).
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Apr 12, 2014 17:49
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Schmeichy posted:This is the second time I've seen this in this thread. It's higher-ups. Congrats - you're as stupid as Benny!
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Apr 12, 2014 21:00
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Sure you were 
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Apr 12, 2014 22:53
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Palisader posted:Goodbye Benny the Snake. May you long fuel terrible jokes about runaway shopping carts. 
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Apr 14, 2014 18:11
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Coffee Wolf posted:Here, just in case you left this out too: And in case you have to deal directly with your Chinese merchants at any point I made you a little something to help you showcase your cultural sensitivity and firm grasp of human interraction   Gotta agree with those saying it sounds fishy as gently caress, but maybe I'm just naturally skeptical and it's going to be legit awesome for you  Edit: 宿醉 (suk zeoi) is a hangover in Mandarin and Cantonese if you ever need to know that for any reason. franco fucked around with this message at 13:16 on Apr 17, 2014 |
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Apr 17, 2014 13:12
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Thank god you corrected that! What a terrible faux pas might have occurred!
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Apr 17, 2014 13:30
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docbeard posted:I now desperately want, nay, NEED, to see a Chick-style tract authored by Benny The Snake. Your wish is my command.     (Once I've phoned in with a fake hangover)  Benny, you know what to do. E: "How do I get in Christ? And should I send a thank-you card if I work out how?" franco fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Apr 24, 2014 |
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Apr 24, 2014 23:32
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Benny the Snake posted:but I was too busy. Benny, you're the best Benny the Snake posted:I got an excuse note If only you could get one for everything. Brb - gotsta make the most of my 18 hour downtime - it's a wonder how anybody has the time to wash, eat or hang out with friends!
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May 8, 2014 14:05
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To go back to the cover letter for a moment, it'sBenny the Snake's cover letter posted:I look forward to becoming a member of your corporate team. that gets me. Why are you writing as if you've been offered, and accepted, the position you are only just applying for, Benny? 
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Jun 3, 2014 08:11
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Toriori posted:PLEASE ANSWER STARTER WIGGIN WHO HAS MADE LEGITIMATELY GOOD SUGGESTIONS! Blitter posted:Answer Starter Benny, you loving coward. Starter Wiggin posted:Please just any answer will do. Even if it's your usual "eh, can't be bothered" schtick, JUST loving ANSWER. Just say that you looked into it and didn't feel it was for you if that's all you can muster. I KNOW you have read Starter asking multiple times so don't even pretend that you missed it. 
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Jun 11, 2014 20:25
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 12:16 |
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Jun 11, 2014 20:39
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