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Benny the Snake posted:Okay everybody. Here's what's been happening. I've made two major steps in getting myself out of my current situation. A third step that shouldn't need stating but in your case I feel it does... don't motherfuck the guy when it is your turn to cover his shift on Friday.
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Jul 2, 2013 00:14
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ThatBasqueGuy posted:....what the gently caress? The one that was named worst of the bunch was, believe it or not, far worse than Benny's. It's really awful. And the runner up was pretty bad too. And sort of violated the whole theme they had going. Congrats, Benny! You are already a better writer than two other goons! Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Feb 11, 2014 |
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Feb 11, 2014 18:49
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Iron Crowned posted:Honestly I'm tempted at trying my hand at Thunderdome this week, and I haven't written anything since I graduated from high school 15 years ago. You couldn't do much worse than the two that lost. One had several sentences that stopped mid thought, a dump truck full of grammatical mistake and a terrible plot that didn't even really start until the end. Speaking of the end, the story just stops in a VERY abrupt fashion. In comparison, Benny's piece hashed out an idea from start to end (even with a really really really bad ending). It was god awful, but Benny is better than quite a few people in that thread.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:42
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Sitting Here posted:This would a great week for any interested E/N superstars and/or readers, actually, since we are writing about our IRL experiences. I hope he decides to participate again. His last story wasn't good by any stretch, but it was no where near the worst.
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Feb 11, 2014 20:10
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Ms. Happiness posted:New Thunderdrome prompt: He should write about the thought process behind believing it is better to tell your boss you were too drunk and hung over to come to work, instead of just taking the day off or calling in sick.
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Feb 11, 2014 23:04
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Benny the Snake posted:Well I guess I'll have to come clean about "The Bird of Fortune". I wasn't happy with it going in to Sunday when it had to be submitted. I had one person took a look at it and messaged four other people to take a look at it. Why wasn't I happy with it? It was a weak story. It was a point A to point B kind of story with two-dimensional characters and a cliched conflict. I wasn't telling a story, I was leading the reader by the nose. I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people to see. People did not dislike it because it was a 'simple A to B' story progression. They didn't like it because it made no sense. You brought a magical bird into it... why? Where did it go? I am assuming it was linked to the gold somehow but perhaps it had nothing to do with the gold or the plot in any way (so why was it in the story)? Your characters sucked and their decisions made little to no sense. Benny, it wasn't simplistic, it was crap.
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Mar 4, 2014 19:13
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life is killing me posted:Not to be a grammar/spelling Nazi dickcunt since I am positive I do this myself, but I've detected spelling inaccuracies and small grammatical errors in posts made by persons who either told Benny he sucked at writing, or admitted to proofreading his story. Or both. I think the larger problem with his crappy story is that it makes virtually no sense.
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Mar 4, 2014 20:48
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life is killing me posted:Maybe if he had more fucks in the dialogue it would make more sense. Everything makes sense with more fucks. Or pickings... or birds that go no where... or gold that appears and is noticed by no one.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:08
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Croc Monster posted:While we're on the subject of that execrable story, I think Holmes is the most entertaining of the bunch. I imagine Watson/Sherlock 'picking' away with some Mexican dude in this gold-filled bird tunnel.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:16
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Dex posted:Benny, serious question here, what do you want in life? Like assuming you somehow got a book deal because some publisher wanted to share stories written by a retarded sex offender or whatever your deal is, so you actually had money to not mooch off your parents any more, what happens next? Or does your fantasy just end with "wow im a writer with my own tvtropes page and everything"? Benny, I know that people have just sort of made up this sex offender angle but you have never done a single thing to say it isn't true. Can you at least deny it so that people can move on from it? Also, why don't you address the two people claiming they proofread your story?
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Mar 5, 2014 15:31
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Lead out in cuffs posted:He also hasn't told us how long he's been beating his wife. But that's an awful comparison because you can simply say 'no'. The joke about the second is that you can't give a yes/no answer. Did you think that through before posting?
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Mar 5, 2014 16:19
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Are you seriously arguing the semantics of a one-sentence sarcastic parody-comparison? So, I don't think anyone here is afraid of making 'borderline libelous' statements about him, what you said has nothing to do with a parody and I'm not sure you know what the meaning of the phrase you used is. Again, what's wrong with him just saying 'no'? Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 18:31
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Benny the Snake posted:He told me. I showed up waiting for the store manager to interview me and the shift manager who I wrote the card was passing by and he told me. This does not even make sense. On the sixth reading I suppose it does. But, Jesus Christ, who writes like this and considers themselves a writer? Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Mar 10, 2014 |
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Mar 10, 2014 16:49
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He may actually be a sex offender. It's so stupidly simple to just say 'nope, I'm not', but he can't seem to do that.
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Mar 18, 2014 18:07
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cname posted:How loving dumb do you have to be to keep posting this crap? You are literally as useless and stupid as Benny. There are hundreds of things to laugh at, which are (possibly) real and here you are, Donald Trumping up some bullshit to amuse yourself. Not to get into a fight with a guy getting really angry over a stupid thread focusing on a person who is most likely lying about half the things he posts here, buuutt... it's been brought up enough that all Benny would have to do is say 'no' and be done with it. It's not that him being one makes the thread any more 'interesting' or not. If anything it explains why he can't seem to get the simplest of jobs (if he is even actually applying for anything). But hey, whatever, let's ask Benny if he has insurance now for 20 pages and laugh about how he won't address the topic. Meanwhile, asking a question that may reveal why he acts certain ways is 'useless and stupid'. The thread has basically become Benny as it just repeats the same stupid actions (giving mostly bad advice) over and over again, getting the exact same results from Benny (ignoring the advice), but insists that the way they are doing things must be correct so they rinse and repeat. I was also under the impression there was some strong evidence of it as well. But who knows. Let's keep asking about health insurance.
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Mar 18, 2014 20:27
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" really?! You don't have enough? Why do you need this? What if he comes right out and says "yes" does that even make the situation any different?
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cname posted:Benny, you'll need to click the orange "apply now" button. Don't get distracted with stories. You're not there for creative writing, you're there to apply for healthcare. Or he could just not answer because he randomly won't answer things that are uncomfortable for him.
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Mar 20, 2014 21:33
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buteruc posted:THIS IS AMAZING. Benny has abandoned this thread. He is focused on his writing now.
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Mar 25, 2014 19:14
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Over a year in the making, this thread is finally over, I think. Benny is done with being made fun of non stop and, at the same time, done with people expecting results. Those are pretty much the only people in this thread. My guess is that he is done with the writing thread because he realized he sucked.
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Mar 31, 2014 20:26
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Arch Stanton posted:Or maybe he found a mamma to indulge his adult baby fetish and has been too busy with diaper play to post an update? While possible, I think my guess is probably more accurate. Indulging the baby fetish would require a level of commitment that he is probably not capable of. His inaction is most likely due to being incredibly lazy and feeling tired of being criticized for it.
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Mar 31, 2014 21:56
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Jeherrin posted:I've made a note. Tomorrow I'm gonna lean in. Talk to some hire-ups. Maybe send a thank you card.
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Apr 9, 2014 21:43
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Darth123123 posted:What does this even mean? Isn't the job moving boxes or something? I don't think Benny even knows what he means anymore.
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Apr 17, 2014 15:43
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Benny the Snake posted:Lizardman, the lambs have never stopped screaming *hissing* ...yeah, I never saw "The Silence of the Lambs" Benny, what does this job have to do with your degree? You said earlier that it does. It would seem that you are just trying to move crappy inventory on ebay and that doesn't seem like a job that needs anyone with any education whatsoever. I mean I'm glad you have the job, but why do you keep lying to us? Also, it will be pure hilarity if anyone ever allows Benny to make his own schedule.
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Apr 22, 2014 15:50
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Lead out in cuffs posted:He gets to copywrite eBay ads. In English. I think everyone is glad he got a stupid job, no one really knows how it relates at all to his degree, as he stated it does. Posting an ebay ad doesn't seem to really fit the bill (if it does then I, and countless others, have also done copy write work). The job sucks but I am glad you have it Benny. HOLD ON TO IT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER. DON'T TRY AND OUT-THINK YOURSELF. Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 17:54 on Apr 22, 2014 |
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Apr 22, 2014 17:51
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Strategic Tea posted:
No kidding. But Benny specifically said it was related to his degree, that's why people are asking. No one thought he was actually going to get anything related to his degree. I would guess the job that Benny actually got is in the range of jobs that most people thought he could get.
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Apr 22, 2014 18:33
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Hey Americans, most degrees are not job training
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kimbo305 posted:So you did delete them, just not autonomously? I love Benny. I didn't delete them, I deleted them.
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May 2, 2014 15:39
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Strategic Tea posted:It's also possible that none of us have a clue whether Benny is disabled or not because we're random nerds who paid tenbux to jeer at him on the internet. It's probably even more likely that he doesn't actually have a degree.
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Jun 3, 2014 16:31
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VelveetaAvenger posted:This is still my personal favorite Benny moment, although it seems to have been overshadowed by all the other craziness in the past year. He's a writer, lying comes easily, Holmes.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:42
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4th Asclepiadean posted:I'm proud to announce that Benny will almost certainly not reply to this line of inquiry. I really love how everyone points out how that phrase was incredibly stupid to have on a cover letter yet he decided to focus his editing efforts on an almost irrelevant fix (to be fair, it's a cover letter and therefore almost entirely irrelevant but whatever).
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Jun 3, 2014 19:45
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Benny the Snake posted:I passed the GWT. As for the senior project, funny story. I can't remember whether it was the year I declared my major (which was the first) or if it was the year I switched my emphasis from education to lit based on a misunderstanding (long story). To make a long story short, one of those two years made me exempt from the senior project. So no, I don't have a senior thesis. Which was good because Lord knows what I would've done and how big of an embarrassment it would've been. Benny please write out this long story, it seems like it could be really interesting.
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Jun 3, 2014 19:49
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Benny the Snake posted:His typo, not mine. YOUR resume, not his. Spell check it you big dummy. quote:I could do the same with another guy's diploma and pass it off as mine. Seriously, the only way I could prove that I do have a diploma is to post it displaying my real name and verifying that it's mine. Which I'm not going to do because I'm very aware that there's certain people on the internet who are paying attention me and who would dox and harass me if I give out any more information about myself. Benny, you can't even spell check your own resume. Do you REALLY think anyone here believes you will go through the trouble to get another person's diploma? Also, that group of people already has all of your personal info and have posted it for everyone to see multiple times. No one particularly cares. Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Jun 4, 2014 |
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Jun 4, 2014 13:00
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argondamn posted:Benny is literally just quoting a post from this thread, not his resume. Even Benny wouldn't leave "Abigbagofdouche" in his resume. I seriously would not put it past him.
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Jun 4, 2014 14:48
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CravingSolace posted:Which, whether your name is in the system or not, you're a loving adult and can request to be put on your own god-drat plan. Or to be removed from your parent's, at least, you lazy bastard. This will be the one part of the post he won't read or acknowledge. Just like he won't post his god drat diploma because he is supposedly afraid of people finding his real name. Everyone knows his real name already, they know his baby/mother fetish, they have links to his Linkedin page, etc. They already have that and no one gives a poo poo.
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Jun 5, 2014 02:33
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cname posted:[b]Benny, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! I'm serious, your next post better loving be about health insurance. Or else what? Benny doesn't give a crap about you or your opinion. He ignores every piece of decent advice in this thread and I'm sure he doesn't care about you telling him what he better do.
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Jun 5, 2014 17:26
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Benny the Snake posted:I'm not posting my diploma. I just submitted my application to Medi-Cal but I won't hear from them for 30 days. It's pretty obvious you don't have one, Benny. You can come clean about it.
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Jun 6, 2014 14:03
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docbeard posted:I wouldn't post my diploma to appease an internet mob either. In this case, why not? Cover up the name with a piece of paper. What gets me is that he's so stupid he doesn't understand that everyone already knows everything about him, including his weird sexual fetishes. They know all this and no one really cares. I think it's incredibly likely he doesn't have one. People are basing their advice (or at least they were until he has shown he is most likely lying about everything) on the assumption he was telling the truth about having a degree. Why would he NOT just post a picture in this case? Robot_Rumpus fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Jun 6, 2014 |
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Jun 6, 2014 16:11
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Queen Elizatits posted:After what Rhonyn Peacemaker posted earlier about graduation requirements I think most people realize there is a zero percent chance Benny actually graduated. It's kind of funny how committed to the lie he is though. It's weird how ALL IN he is on this particular lie. BENNY, JUST ADMIT THE LIE. Look, we aren't asking you to do any hard work. You don't have to fill out a form or make up a lie about insurance or try and make up stories about how your work day is going at your imaginary job that you got fired from 2 weeks ago. Just admit you never graduated. quote:TO BE TOTALLY FAIR, if I were asked to post my diploma I wouldn't be able to because I have no idea where I put it. And now he doesn't even need to come up with an excuse, you provided him with one.
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Jun 6, 2014 18:33
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Aqua Bear posted:Benny, don't take my loving excuse, you rear end in a top hat. It's too late, he already lost it. It's weird that you have the same excuse but whatever, it's gone and he can't find it now (or a job).
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Jun 6, 2014 18:47
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Magnus Gallant posted:Benny I want to buy your books. What books do you have? Any good ones? You think he honestly knows the inventory?
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Jun 6, 2014 18:54
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That drat Satyr posted:If you had books on hand embroidery, I would so be on this too. But obviously you know you don't want to actually sell things becuase that would go against your MO of being a lazy do nothing. He has no clue of what is his inventory is and no idea how to charge for shipping. Somehow he will get fired from his volunteer job because he screwed this idea up so bad.
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Jun 7, 2014 04:11
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Pope Corky the IX posted:You had me at rectal thermometer. He sort of lost me at 'installed'.
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Jun 7, 2014 16:52
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