Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

CAustin posted:

Just came across this one: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2053509224/new-unique-bottle-for-maw-n-paw-bbq-sauce-go-natio

At first I thought it was stupid. After watching the video it's just goddamn depressing. These people are trying to raise money to create a single product: a plastic bottle shaped like a pig's head. Actually, that's their own description, but it really gives the whole thing too much credit. You might get the idea that this bottle will look like a realistic, detailed pig's head. Strange and grotesque, sure, but probably an interesting knick knack for someone out there.

No. Instead, this is what they have planned:

BBQ sauce not included. Yep, that red thing on the right is this family's ingenious new product. And let's be clear here, just in case. It really is just a plastic bottle. It doesn't have any special features, moving parts, or really anything that makes it any different from any other plastic bottle other than, of course, the lazily rendered cartoon pig face. Hell, I'm pretty sure there are already bottles in existence somewhere out there that have reasonably similar pig faces on them. And they probably didn't need kickstarters.

Back to the video, I don't know if I've really seen anything as awkward and pathetic as this 2 minute clip. The little girl is clearly uncomfortable with having this string of inane questions yelled at her over and over, and in the end they couldn't even get her to endorse the product. They literally cut the audio and switched it out with a recording of her saying she likes it. When even a 5 year old girl who is probably (read: hopefully) related to you seems entirely unimpressed by your bullshit, you know you've got a problem.

Oh, and the funding goal for all this? $42,000

So far they only have $25, but hey, they just started.

My god. This has to be one of the most bizarre, schizophrenic projects I've ever seen. $42,000 for a lovely plastic bottle? And all they have is a goddamn RENDER? :psyduck:

# ¿ Mar 5, 2013 20:07

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:12

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

That Cali Flick dude has got to have mental issues. That site is all kinds of wtf.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2013 18:47

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

Gackt posted:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1489592731/storytellers-the-series

Youtube vlogger wants $100,000 to film a show, has ridicuouls rewards like:

$175 for a Skype call
$400 to be friended on facebook
$8000 to go to Disneyland with him
$10,000 for a speaking role

The thing is people are actually buying these rewards and 75% of the money is coming from the higher tiered stuff rather than sales of the web series itself.
I don't understand.

From a few pages back, but uggghh, the character names all sound so forced.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2013 15:36

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

Guavanaut posted:

I remember the remote control roaches being an actual thing in EE and entomology a few years back. Applying direct electrical stimulus to cockroach antenna and 'steering' it is an already proven thing, and even reached the stage of homebrew microcontroller kits maybe a couple of years ago.

Unless I'm missing something, there is nothing left for this kickstarter to prove other than selling the same equipment as a home hobby kit.

edit: The people running the kickstarter are the same people who published the kit instructions for the homebrew version a while back.

The thing I mostly don't get about this roach thing is how many people could realistically use it? You're pretty much restricted to places where those bigass roaches live, and on top of that, how does the attachment procedure work? I'm assuming you'd need tiny tweezers, scalpels and a magnifying glass or something. I don't see how this kit is practical outside of a laboratory.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2013 19:25

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

Gaspy Conana posted:

http://gementerprisemedia.com/ <- This guy is one of them. He has a ton of confidential secrets that he wanted me to help him develop. I was just a support guy for a DIY website building application.

Oh lord. It seems he was reasonably successful doing print ads back in the 80s but couldn't transition into modern times at all.

Zybourne Clock posted:

Bizzler.com belongs to my favorite type of crowdfunding campaigns, namely for services that address problems that don't exist. If I'm a big company that sells car insurance and I want everyone to know my product is the cheapest, I'll find someone to make me a commercial in which a bright green CGI cricket sings about my low monthly rates. If I want the ad to also be funny or clever, I'll hire people who can make funny or clever advertisements. They're not that difficult to find. What I don't do is write out a competition on a third party website where every random Joe can enter a camcorder-made submission, and hope for the best that one of the contributions is exactly what I was looking for.

I always find it weird how often I see media companies - who ostensibly should have some degree of media saavy - with the most awful graphic design and low-quality branding.

Cyril Sneer has a new favorite as of 18:25 on Sep 22, 2013

# ¿ Sep 22, 2013 18:21

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

deadly_pudding posted:

I have been educated

Also, couldn't they have just like glued a mood-ring to the side?

Hell you can get sticker thermometers from a pet store for like $5.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2013 17:49

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

SpoopyMonkey posted:

While those wouldn't really be suitable for this range of temperatures

Okay not those ones you find in aquarium stores, but they do make ones with extended ranges. I've used them in product testing before:

http://www.omega.ca/shop/pptsc.asp?ref=RLC-80

# ¿ Oct 28, 2013 18:55

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

DoctorPresident posted:

loving magnets in my loving shoes.

What is it with all this people and their obsession with mounting all their possessions to a wall, anyway?

This is from a few pages back but these are both good ideas and I would probably buy them, though not at the listed prices.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2013 19:21

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

BattleMaster posted:

I want to also point out that he uses the word "electrogravitics" which was made up by pseudoscientists who think that the Biefeld�Brown effect is actually altering gravity somehow.

No, it has nothing to do with affecting gravity somehow. It's "anti-gravity" in the same way a rocket is, by using Newton's third law to push against it. The difference is that with an ion lifter or whatever motion of the working mass isn't as obvious as with a rocket.

The sad thing is is that people actually did experiments to show that ion lifters don't work in a vacuum in an attempt to shut these people up but in typical conspiracy theorist fashion their excuse is that it was faked because "they" don't want you to know about UFO technology

I love when these lifters things show up. Back in university I worked in a lab that published some papers on modelling the thrust produced by ion lifters (the actual mechanism is called electrohydrodynamic flow), and surprise, the downward force generated by the EHD is enough to lift the device!

# ¿ Feb 28, 2014 20:57

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

Oh man, this is just sad and stupid:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1101275509/15-funny-celebrity-photoshops

# ¿ Aug 4, 2014 01:03

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

Found this local kickstart that is just completely :wtf:

UFO MUG https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/icreatemyidea/ufo-mug

The entire description is just one single, giant, image.

Also, lama-nator. Obviously a gimmick but gave me a chuckle.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/387431724/llama-nator

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 18:47

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:12

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

AntherUslessPoster posted:

Bold claims of efficiency aside, who in sane mind thought that having a cord going from wall socket right to a bowl of water is okay?

Submermisible pumps/aquarium pumps/filters/heaters....its not really that big of a deal. It's not pumping mains AC into the thing.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 14:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?