google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

infernal machines posted:

my fav is when they blur out the numbers on buildings, defeating the entire purpose of having a maps integrated 360 virtual view of a location.

this

streetview is also good at bluring out roadway regulatory signage

which means that i actually have to drive out there and check what the posted speed limit is for roadway projects instead of just using streetview

google earth is good as a quickie GIS tool if you need to measure an approx roadway length or w/e tho

# ¿ Apr 29, 2014 17:56

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:13

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Fuzzy Mammal posted:

(actual) mid six figures

calling someone out for taking an entire bunch of bananas home.

what

bananas are like the cheapest food

# ¿ May 1, 2014 14:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

I would not want to work at goog

esp their mountain view satellite offices

# ¿ May 1, 2014 14:33

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

lol forever at the idea that communism has actually be tried before by anyone anywhere

# ¿ May 5, 2014 21:03

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

check out how much server-class solid state drives cost sometime

# ¿ May 6, 2014 23:30

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

sund posted:

at google kitchen staff, facilities and security ARE engineers

l�l

# ¿ Jun 4, 2014 06:34

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rotor posted:

I think wearables will eventually be a thing but i'm sorry, the head will not be where we wear them. Around the neck maybe, or on the arm watch-style maybe but not on the head. People - and here I'm talking about real people, not silicon valley people - are just not going to tolerate that.

you'd think that the nerds over at google would've been all about making a pipboy seeing as how google wave was a firefly thing

# ¿ Jun 5, 2014 17:38

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

cremnob posted:

they probably only do it when you're a sex writer who shares a legal name with a porn star

# ¿ Jun 9, 2014 19:27

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

The Management posted:

bloggers aren't journalists. also tech "journalists" aren't journalists.

that's why i called her a sex writer

# ¿ Jun 10, 2014 03:16

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Rufus Ping posted:

In August 2009, Violet Blue and Ben Metcalfe launched a URL shortening service with the domain name vb.ly, which was described as "the Internet's first and only sex-positive URL shortener."[23] The site was hosted on the .ly top-level domain, and the main page showed Violet Blue holding a bottle of beer.[24] In October 2010, the site was shut down following a letter to Violet Blue from Libya Telecom & Technology, saying that the site was contrary to the principles of Sharia law

lol

aaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

# ¿ Jun 10, 2014 04:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Snapchat A Titty posted:

the countdown to skip button

countdown till this practice vanishes entirely

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 17:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shifty Pony posted:

lots of industry publications about exactly this, also talking up how you don't actually pay for those views. won't be shocked if ads start being reasonable for 5 seconds then going full "Head ON! Apply Directly to the forehead!" for the remaining 25 in an attempt to drill the name in while also trying get people to skip them so they don't pay.

also this. the industry is a leech upon humanity.

give me free samples of your product instead of spraying ads into my orifices

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 20:20

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

cremnob posted:

engineering incentive structure

lol

# ¿ Jun 18, 2014 06:58

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rotor posted:

not in a "just saw an ad, gonna go buy a thing now" way, no

advertising is extremely effective if your decisionmaking gland is fatigued after around 20 minutes of shopping or if you're at all hungry

the resultant impulse purchasing holds for everything from candybars to electronics

younger men (teens to 20s iirc) are particularly susceptible to visual advertising and apparently respond best to reds and blues and black and metallics

women are supposed to respond best to high saturation colors (so-called "gem" colors) and lots of white space

modern ad psychology is terrifying

get 24/7 urkel cosplay in here that's his jam

# ¿ Jun 18, 2014 07:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

remember when you could throw your schedule of classes into facebook and see who else was in there with you

that right there was a pro tool for pussyhunting

okcupid needs to update they stats blog

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 17:35

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

in post-obama's cyberpunk america amazon would simply enslave the comcast emissaries within its warehouse arcology to toil in darkness

when amazon mobilizes the drone army against the comcast obelisk their execs would choose suicide over capture

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 17:55

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Avenging Dentist posted:

the thing that always gets me is that this poo poo is actually worse in a way than drab, lifeless office buildings since it's just insulting your employees' intelligence

yes, please take fat stacks of cash you could have been giving me and instead put it into a poorly-rendered simulacrum of a college campus, only, you know, without the college girls

or have they figured out a way to trick college girls into being seen within a mile of SV tech nerds now too

look at the little babby who's never done whitecollar work for a huge multinational corporation before

companies like this do stuff like have an office cafeteria and sleeping space and showers and on-site everything because they want to minimize the amount of time you spend being at home and not working

h t h

the ball pits and slides are there because most of their employees are under 25

boomer-dominated companies are the norm and usually do things like have a bar in all the big conference rooms

# ¿ Jun 29, 2014 01:31

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

who was that company that got slapped down recently for claiming a bunch of employees as exempt (from labor act overtime) because they "used computers"

# ¿ Jun 29, 2014 03:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

born on a buy you posted:

this is actually semi legal. if you're a salaried employee that does anything directly related to software/it, you're overtime exempt where other positions have a chance not to be

yep it's p dirty

but this was a company attempting to classify helpdesk/tech support employees as exempt and the department of labor was all LOL NO

i wanna say it was a corp in new york

# ¿ Jun 29, 2014 05:08

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rotor posted:

no it was during the late 90s a bunch of companies went to washington and made the case that software is special and we LIKE working 60 hour weeks and please don't do anything that might harm the biggest economic run up in American history ... and they DIDNT!!!

computering requires a rare keen mind and nimble fingers capable of maintaining 70 words per minute for hours at a time and some specialized training

such essential personnel clearly should not be subject to overtime pay requirements

and if the workplace has lost electricity or is otherwise inaccessible due to weather conditions then these exempt employees may even be required to burn PTO for time not worked instead of simply being given their salary during an office closure even with a declared disaster area

# ¿ Jun 29, 2014 07:10

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

i want my driverless car to drop me off at the restaurant and then just circle the block until i'm done eating so that i don't hafta park

# ¿ Jul 3, 2014 19:10

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

i have here in my hand a list of card-carrying yosposters

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 17:34

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Ludwig van Halen posted:

communism failed, friend

cuba's doin ok

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 19:44

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

it's me i'm the google font engineer

# ¿ Jul 17, 2014 07:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

# ¿ Jul 19, 2014 09:19

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

how long is that gigantic expensive prius battery supposed to last

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 16:34

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

duTrieux. posted:

so what?

the problem is that we owe it in dollars and if they feel the need to print or inflate their way out of the debt then those who owe me and my company money will be significantly less poor not to mention what will happen to my gigantic pile of money

so plz keep interest rates and inflation as close to zero as you can thx

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 21:31

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

how is stymie not hellbanned yet

or can they do that anymore

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 16:21

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Emptyquoter posted:

NICE!

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 21:33

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Fabricated posted:

does anyone at yospos actually do anything for a living interesting besides that one dude who worked at the north pole and suspicious dish

*raises paw*

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 04:31

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

PCjr sidecar posted:

actually, now it's more about not having a ton of delinquent debt, or a being an unrepentant whorefucker, drugtaker, foreign, or boozedriver:

http://www.dod.mil/dodgc/doha/industrial/

In April 2008, Applicant was charged with underage possession of alcohol, but the charge was continued for one year and then dismissed. He was convicted of driving while intoxicated in November 2008 and was sentenced to 60 days in jail, with 55 days suspended. He served his five days in jail on weekends. He was cited for public intoxication on New Year�s Eve, 2011, and he paid a $100 fine. He was accused of grand larceny in October 2012, but the charge was dismissed as unfounded. He has been employed by a federal contractor since October 2012 and has earned the respect and support of his supervisor. Clearance is granted. CASE NO: 14-00461.h1

lol that dude sounds like fun

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 04:37

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Necc0 posted:

man remember when everyone was angry at the word 'blog' becoming a thing

sorry just reminiscing

fox news would report on blogstorms in the blogosphere

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 15:55

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

whoa rad someone extracted the entire outside-area from the game data

yessssss

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 16:32

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Cardboard Box A posted:

http://www.theverge.com/2014/8/5/5970141/how-google-scans-your-gmail-for-child-porn

i'm the database of known child pornography maintained by a googler

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 21:57

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Cold on a Cob posted:

tbf i'm sure they just keep the hashes

didn't someone post an article about the people that work for facebook that go through all the reported stuff. sounds soul crushing

i wonder if it works like livestock slaughtering where if you don't switch out the captive bolt pistol operator once in while then they develop sadism

:gay:

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 22:01

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

FMguru posted:

also:

teledildonics moves into butt stuff

gently caress google before it fucks you

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 17:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

conversely apple is a consumer electronics company whose brand was virtually unknown ten years ago. they're engaged in a pitched battle for a saturated market in a few rich countries.

i don't think it's likely but apple actually could pull a 'sony' and just kinda fade away in its current core markets and lose shitloads of money. consumers are fickle and apple just doesn't have many magic network effects working for them

dude you're forgetting a key fact: apple has the affluent lady market loving cornered

granted this is an understandable oversight for you

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 04:53

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

sony cornered this in the 80s with the walkman

you see a lot of 2014 affluent ladies with walkmen?

yes

also polaroids and record players

kinda scratching my head as to why betamax and minidisks/archos players aren't more of a thing now tho

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 05:02

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Boxturret posted:

as an affluent lady i

go on

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 05:21

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:13

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

Too many women?

the silicon valley call of the bean s�dhe

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 06:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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