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So from an expat forum I frequent:quote:So, I slept with my bosses wife last night, now what? quote:We met today for lunch. Afterwards we went to a 7 days hotel, which has this 4 hours for 100 rmb room rental. She told me it was the first time she ever 'made love' in the shower. I feel kind of strange by the fact that she referred to sex as 'making love.' In any case, I am looking around for a new job. Somebody called him out: quote:Wake up from your dreams and go out and find a girl in real life. And the OP's response: quote:I've had two posts where you have done nothing but talk $hit, where are your stories you dirty old expat? Where are the notches on your bedpost? Let's hear some stories Obi Wan!
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May 20, 2014 01:30
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| # ¿ May 13, 2024 05:04 |
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To end credit card chat I have this toughguy.txt revenge fantasy from an expat forumquote:I spent about a minute beating a man into submission on the sidewalk today- in full-view of an onlooking crowd in Tianhe Guangzhou.
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May 31, 2014 00:45
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Ratspeaker posted:While the forums were down I resorted to getting my daily dose of internet culture from Imgur ( At least it seems that more and more commenters are calling out the STDH.
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Jun 26, 2014 06:02
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), but for some reason
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quote:Do you ever catch Chinese girls checking out your buldge?
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Jun 27, 2014 00:51
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jodai posted:That was hilarious and I'm glad he got the phrase "fug of jazz cigarettes" in there. This article was funny enough to make me want to read the one it is sort of based on again but the author took it down. Here's a recap but the author of this article just sums up the blog and leaves out a lot of the embellishments that are hallmarks of stdh. Still, the paragraph that's there is pretty funny. Soon enough, we were done with our shop and were making our way toward the front. As we passed through the produce section, two teenage girls began giggling and one of them asked, "Is that a boy or a girl?" I smiled and said, "He's a boy." I looked on at him adoringly as they continued to giggle. Out of nowhere a big booming voice rang out. "THAT'S a BOY?!" The man was overly large with a bushy beard and a camouflage shirt with the arms cut off. He had tattered shorts and lace-up work boots with no laces. I could smell the fug of cigarette smoke surrounding him, and there was a definite pong of beer on him. "Yes," I said simply, still smiling. With no notice, the man stepped forward, grabbed the headband off of Dexter's head and threw it to the bottom of our shopping cart. He then cuffed Dexter around the side of his head (not hard, but that is not the point) and said with a big laugh, "You'll thank me later, little man!" At the same time as I stepped forward, Dexter grabbed his head where the man had smacked him and threw his other hand forward, stomping his foot and shouting, "NO!" I got between my son and this man and said very firmly, "If you touch my son again, I will cut your drat hands off." The guy snarled at me, looked at Dexter with disgust and said, "Your son is a f*cking fa***t." He then started sauntering out, but not before he threw over his shoulder, "He'll get shot for it one day." I stood there, shaking, fists clenched, waiting for the man to disappear out the door, and then I fell apart. I was shaking so hard, holding back tears and comforting Dexter. Not a single person said or did anything. There were several people who had witnessed the encounter, but not one of them came over to offer support or console me or my son. I was there with a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old baby, and my kid had been verbally and physically assaulted by a man. And no one did a thing. I made my way to the front, still in shock, and I paid for my items and left. I did not report it to the management nor to the authorities, though I am considering doing both. But as I live in a tourist area, I doubt there is anything I can do to find the man -- he could be anyone from anywhere. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone (and there were a LOT of you) who advised me to contact WalMart for the CCTV footage and the police to press charges. I most likely won’t be doing that. I would like to explain why. When it happened, I wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could. I was in a bit of shock, to be honest, and the fact that no one else came up to offer any support made me wonder if I’d overreacted. The entire thing happened in less than a minute. It was over as quickly as it started, and no one was harmed. My shock at what the man said was worse than my upset about him touching my kid. The truth is that (and I tried to make this clear in the blog post) he did not hurt my son. He cuffed him like you would pat a dog on the head. It was not violent. It was not acceptable, but it was not violent. My two days of thinking on the whole thing has made me believe that the guy saw a woman with two little boys on her own, one of the boys wearing a girly headband, and he thought he was doing me a favor by teaching my boy to be more manly. He may have thought I was a single mom in need of a strong male role model. And when he touched my son, I immediately stepped in to threaten him. His reaction was over the top and completely terrible, but we have all said things in the heat of the moment that we are not proud of. The fact he seemed to have been drinking may have exacerbated his reaction. fish and chips and dip has a new favorite as of 02:31 on Jun 28, 2014 |
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Jun 28, 2014 02:29
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Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras": 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.
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Jun 30, 2014 11:33
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Some Zero posted:the reddit link is NSFW Not to start a derail or anything, but one time my economics professor deliberately showed a picture of a naked man getting dildoed in the rear end to an auditorium full of students to prove a point about fridges.
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Oct 16, 2014 02:13
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Fathis Munk posted:Also goddamn it this story is obviously supposed to be a dumb joke what with the nervous breakdown and all that. Why are they trying to pass this off as something that happened. Who would believe that ? Yeah I remember seeing this joke on various humor websites in the late 90's along such other classics as the poo poo family, the guy who called another guy rear end in a top hat through the phone and made him fight a third guy and so on. poo poo was fuckin' hilarious back then because I was 10.
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Dec 16, 2014 09:14
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So they were learning to ski by going off-piste? 
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Jan 13, 2015 09:11
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When I was 13 I was wrongly diagnosed with Celiac disease by my doctor, I went gluten free for 4 months before the error was corrected. It was such a huge pain in the rear end, I really don't understand these stupid fad-diet weirdos, why would you intentionally go through something like that?
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Jan 23, 2015 03:02
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Das Boo posted:I certainly understand something like cigarettes or alcohol, but the media thing seems strange to me. It never came up for me in the 90's. I think it happened around early/mid-2000's at least in the area where I lived. I remember being 15, in 2004, I went to a game store after school with some classmates because one of the guys wanted to buy a game with 16 year age limit. We were all shocked when the employee refused to sell it to us. But in the end we go one of the kids who already turned 16 to buy the game. fish and chips and dip has a new favorite as of 11:39 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 11:34
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Edit/quote. Have a NAR for your trouble: FAST FOOD, RESTAURANT | BOCA RATON, FL, USA | AWESOME CUSTOMERS, BIGOTRY, FOOD & DRINK, TOP (I’m a customer standing in line behind another customer at a Mexican fast-food restaurant.) Cashier: “How can I help you today?” Customer: “Excuse me, but you gay?” Cashier: “Um…I mean…yeah, but I don’t see what that—” Customer: *menacing* “I’m gonna need you to leave this here store, so a good Christian can take my order. Got that?!” (The manager has overheard all this and walks over.) Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to leave.” Customer: “Are you discriminating on me ’cause I’m a Christian?” Manager: “No, sir, I am not. I am also a Christian.” Customer: “And you, a claimed Christian, hired this sodomite?” Manager: “I hired this man because he does his job extremely well and is a good employee.” Customer: “But he’s a sodomite!” Manager: “You need to leave, now.” Customer: “I ain’t leavin ’til I get my here IMMIGRANT food from a good Christian!” (Fed up, hungry, and in a rush, I speak up.) Me: “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m in too much of a rush to deal with your bulls***. Since you’re being kicked out, I’m going to give my order to the nice cashier over here. You can also go ahead and get something for yourself on my tab, because no one should have to put up with you!” (The four other customers behind me clapped, while the customer screamed, “YOU’RE ALL HEATHENS!” and ran out like he was being chased by Satan. On top of that, I got my order on the house!) fish and chips and dip has a new favorite as of 11:38 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 11:35
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System Metternich posted:Ah, that ancient and treasured Chinese custom of putting random poo poo on the floor Not that the story isn't STDH, but this is a real thing in China. Granted they usually put the stuff and the baby on a table, at least that's what happened at the two "grabbing ceremonies" I've been to.
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Mar 28, 2015 13:40
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Leninboarrir posted:Another glorious user-submission entry from Gawker Media. This one comes from "These Are The Most Outrageous Stories From Dealership Employees": Probably a BMW dealership.
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May 14, 2015 04:36
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ibntumart posted:Man: RRAAAAAGH!
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Sep 20, 2015 15:17
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I'm one of those gosh darn millennials, and I remember at least half of that stuff. Anyway content
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Oct 15, 2015 03:07
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Khazar-khum posted:Candy Wow, that's have to be the single most boring and pointless story I've read so far. At least with the others you can smirk at the stupidity, this one? It's just nothing.
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Oct 22, 2015 14:50
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CombatBonta-kun posted:Basically the guy is a dick who tries to hide it by being "artistic". In the UK during WW2 they had something called a hate academy, where they sent soldiers and showed them horrible things to teach them to hate. It didn't work as the soldiers didn't so much hate as they felt depressed, and also there was a public backlash. If only they had this story back then...
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Oct 28, 2015 03:28
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Invisible Clergy posted:I know this is from a few pages ago, but does anyone have more information about this? It sounds interesting. I couldn't find anything by googling, just general ww2 stuff. I got it off an episode of QI, only other refference I could find is in the book "electrifed sheep" https://books.google.com.au/books?i...demy%22&f=false
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Nov 12, 2015 07:31
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cash crab posted:
Dunno, my grandma loved to tell dirty jokes well into her 90's to anyone who would listen, kids, teenagers, adults alike. Somehow it wasn't awkward when she told them. Anyway content: quote:"There I was at the park, playing Magic with some friends, when suddenly a wild gaggle of sporting jocks stumbled out of the local sports bar with their sorority skanks and started walking over. They said we were a bunch of silly nerds, and started to try and beat us up. Camly, I stood up and informed them I was a 9th level black belt, and whilst they wasted their high school years throwing a ball around and chasing skanks, I had hone my mind and body into a weapon capable of great destruction. I then challenged them to a battle of wits, a debate over Newtonian physics and relativity. Theory. Needless to say, their brows furrowed in anger, but they walked away. Everyone started clapping, and their women left them to tell me how brave I was. All my headmates cheered."
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Jan 14, 2016 02:56
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EmmyOk posted:That is clearly a joke Fine, have the most mundane and boring NAR story I could find instead: 
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Jan 14, 2016 03:11
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I know it's an old joke, but it's getting shared as a real story on FB by more and more people. Source is one of those clickbait sites: This man caught naked women bathing in his pond. His answer is brilliant! 
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Feb 3, 2016 02:51
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Khazar-khum posted:Let's see what's in this category... I don't understand this one.
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Feb 10, 2016 10:34
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Khazar-khum posted:Heroes
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Feb 16, 2016 07:02
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LibrarianCroaker posted:He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Maybe I'm brain damaged but I actually found that sentence funny. Rest of how that story was written was utter garbage though.
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Mar 4, 2016 05:06
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At first I thought it said "Brendan took me out to a skate park with plans to have a picnic".
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Apr 9, 2016 08:02
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