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Why does it even matter how obtrusive they are if they just neuralise everyone? Motherfucker could wear a sandwich board all "YO I AM THE LIKEABLE FISH-OUT-OF-WATER EVERYMAN WHO WORKS FOR A SECRET GOVERNMENT ORGANISATION THAT MANAGES EXTRA TERRESTRIAL AFFAIRS ON EARTH" and it wouldn't matter.
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May 19, 2014 00:49
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You know the bit in Pirates of the Caribbean where that one pirate is going to cut Orlando Bloom into handsome kibble and he's all "ARR I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU THE MEANIN' OF PAIN" And then Keira Knightley is all "YOU LIKE PAIN?" and hits him and then is all "TRY WEARING A CORSET" and the audience doesn't laugh because Keira Knightley is a terrible actress and has no comedic timing? Well the dude doesn't even like pain. He just says he's going to teach Orlando Bloom the meaning of pain. Like, if someone asks me the meaning of "costermonger" it doesn't mean I'm all ker-razy for fruit barrows, it just means I know that word. If the pirate dude REALLY liked pain he'd be in some brothel someplace throwing dubloons to whichever wench was able to most ruthlessly stomp on his salty balls.
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May 21, 2014 09:03
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We have Budweiser in the UK you clown. People here even drink it sometimes.
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Aug 31, 2014 22:57
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It's the Marvel Universe. Anything in space has a week, tops before it's blown up by the Kree, eaten by a giant planet or Galactus, pierced by an errant Mjolnir throw, used as a club by the Sentry, laser beamed by Captain Marvel, the site of an X-Men brawl or hijacked by Forge and rebuilt as a toaster oven. You won't bother making your fancy pants space prison nice, you want it cheap and easily cobbled together.
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Nov 30, 2014 23:10
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One of the major themes of Looper was how all the criminals actually sucked rear end at being criminals. They were all trained in a single role [Looper, Gat Man et cetera] and all of them loving sucked. The Looper couldn't do his job as soon as a dude was ready for him, the Gat Men couldn't actually shoot anyone who was trying to not be shot. Jeff Daniels is a loving dolt, and only has any kind of clout as a Crime Dude because OMG HE'S FROM THE FUTURE. They all suck balls at it. They have a time machine, and they use it for an incredibly convoluted corpse disposal system, and only one guy in the history of crime has the smarts to put some money aside and plan for his old age. So, when they go to whack Bruce Willis, and the nice Asian Wife appears holding a thing that looks kind of like a gun, they panic and shoot her on instinct. Because they suck and are stupid. That's a recurring theme. Stupid dumb criminals.
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Feb 12, 2015 00:09
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I always thought it was kinda funny that Mel Gibson ranted about The Jews controlling everything and then to show what a deluded racist he is The Jews cast him out of Hollywood.
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Feb 18, 2015 11:15
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Gordon Shumway posted:flintknapper. That you know and use this word makes me want to wedgie you, but I'm scared if I try you'll shoot a magnificently fluted arrow through my face.
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Mar 15, 2015 23:14
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Speaking of Event Horizon, when they find the video log of everyone murder-loving everyone else and the previous captain being all HERE'S MY EYEBALLS MAYBE Y'ALL SHOULD RUN who the gently caress filmed the video? Everyone else has been perverted into being a mutilating rapist except one dude who just wants to get that poo poo on Vine?
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Apr 7, 2015 15:07
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Man they had no cameras back then and I doubt woodcut artists could go quick enough to chip out an accurate rendition of the action. We basically dunno how the gently caress any motherfucker fought For Real. Goddamned LARP nerds. Anyway, fuckin' Home. He drops off Rihanna in the new human spiral town place, and she can't find her mother so she just...sits in a shed like a hobo for a while? It never occurs to her to ask around, leave notes, get up high and yell, any of that poo poo? Immersion ROONT.
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Jul 7, 2015 20:35
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Nutsngum posted:There are these things called books where things are written down in. Things like medieval era martial arts and weapon training... Often people write things down and this does not reflect reality. For example, the mermaids that supposedly lured sailors to their deaths. Or the heroic deeds of Heracles. Or Prester John's Nestorian empire. Or the various martial arts manuals through the years that say "Oh yeah in a fight just do x, then y and if he does z then just do..." and then expect dudes to pull that poo poo off in a crisis situation.
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Jul 7, 2015 20:55
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And Hank Pym the strongest mothafucka in the world cause he can carry around a full-weight tank on his keyring. Why didn't he just punch everyone with his SUPERMUSCLES?
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Dec 10, 2015 01:37
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Clerks 2 was on, and I was too lazy to get up and get the remote. Film bad. But the irrationally irritating things- when they leave to go go karting and then they come back Rosario Dawson is all WAHHGHHGHGHGHG GUYS WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WE'RE SO BUSY and there's 4 people at the counter. I used to work in a burger place, 4 people at the counter is absolutely nothing. Fuckin' Kevin Smith no idea lazy man. Also when Dante goes to punch Randall and hits the drive-thru thing, he's all "YOU DUCKED?" and Randall's all "BECAUSE YOU SWUNG AT ME!" except Randall didn't actually duck. Also she apparently got mayo on her cooch from having sex on a prep station after hours. Who the gently caress still has mayo on their prep station after closing time? Lazy rear end motherfuckers.
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Feb 19, 2016 19:57
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Speaking of head trauma, didn't they do a fire extinguisher on some mook's head last season? Speaking of fire extinguishers, have they ever actually been used to extinguish fires in any movie or show ever? They seem to be the go-to for beating people unconscious, finding laser tripwires or occasionally providing pressure for an improvised bomb or jetpack. Not so much the fire thing.
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Mar 23, 2016 14:08
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Also the fact that Roland's supposed to be this linguistic genius who knows 4000 languages and is an ambassador to other cultures yet whenever it's a word from Earth he's like "gently caress you thankee sai commala come your language is bullshit de ye ken the bullshit of the 1999 chassit?"
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Sep 20, 2016 12:40
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WampaLord posted:poo poo, just write Tarkin out of it. He's away on Empire business and his next-in-command is the effective Tarkin. Look Who's Tarkin Too.
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Dec 29, 2016 02:27
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Oh cool nerd fanfiction.
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Jan 31, 2017 22:29
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Blue team: Buncha moralising hippies who sleep in a tree in a hippy love in and use their hair penises to sex up dragons and ponies. Red team: He has a gigantic robot and the gigantic robot has a gigantic robot knife come the gently caress on that rules.
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Feb 2, 2017 14:29
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Panfilo posted:It was an unintended side effect of cuttlefish DNA added to accelerate growth. Wong mentioned it. End of the film should've been a swarm of parakeets sharpening their beaks on the MEGASAURUS WRECKS until there was nothing left, before making eye contact with Chris Pratt, giving him a respectful nod and then flying off into the sunset carrying the corpse of the assistant woman.
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Feb 2, 2017 21:10
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Also being a CRAZY VICIOUS SAVAGE REAVER makes you dangerous and terrifying even to trained military types and not, say, a dead person floating around in the husk of the spaceship you never bothered to maintain because you were too busy eating skin and cutting yourself and listening to Linkin Park.
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Mar 13, 2017 15:27
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I was too lazy to get up when Clerks 2 was on, and the bit where they come back from go-karting and Rosario Dawson is freaking out is some bullshit. The queue's only 4 people! When I worked as a burger monkey 4 people wouldn't even wake me from my coma. Also when they're all "YOU SWUNG AT ME!" "YOU DUCKED?!" "BECAUSE YOU SWUNG AT ME!" he didn't actually duck, Dante just straight-up missed and hit the plaster cow. Fuckin' Kevin Smith yo.
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Jul 29, 2017 22:42
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Scrubs was a good show until you started keeping track of the time in an episode and it suddenly became beyond bizarre.
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Jul 30, 2017 17:59
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You folks are buying into the robot's propaganda and are gonna regret it. All "hmmm well if I set off this EMP I am basically Hitler" while Killbot XL rampages. Make Humanity Great Again, folks.
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Nov 15, 2017 21:04
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Yeah man, Muscular Biting Tube seems like a fairly basic evolutionary stop and one that has legs in many environments. Except it doesn't have legs in any environments.
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Nov 18, 2017 00:47
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You know who does a poo poo Scottish accent? Kelly Macdonald. Which is weird, cause it's her actual real-life speaking voice as an actual Scottish person from actual Scotland.
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Nov 28, 2017 17:48
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Milo and POTUS posted:Wait I thought Galactus was the big bad motherfucker of Marvel? That's why every hack writer has him job to their OriginalCharacterDoNotSteal. SEE ALSO: Juggernaut, The.
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Dec 5, 2017 15:19
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JT Smiley posted:I loved how the show addressed how insane Rebecca's spending habits were and then she's out of debit like an episode later. And then less than a season after that she pays a woman 10 Grand to switch the date of her wedding like nothing. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend does another thing I like - the main character's actually competent at some things. There's too many comedy shows where the protagonists are useless schlubs who have no skills, aptitudes or abilities - yet they can still goof off at their job and have seemingly endless money. Rebecca Bunch might be a loon but she's also been established as an absolute monster of a lawyer, and the firm gives her a lot of license since she basically prints money. So it kinda makes sense that she'd be able to rebound from poverty pretty quick - smash a couple of lucrative cases, make mad bank, gently caress off out the office for another couple of days.
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Dec 18, 2017 01:36
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SiKboy posted:I'm pretty sure it is, yeah, but honestly I cant remember if thats from a batman comic, movie, cartoon or video game.... I mean, we all know the real reason is branding, but I do appreciate the minor nod to making it have some sort of logic. 
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Apr 16, 2018 18:27
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Inspector Gesicht posted:I always thought Rent was about some heroic guy called Benny who holds out for his friends, despite them being a bunch of useless freeloaders. Also puts up the cash to bury Angel, despite Angel being an rear end in a top hat who killed his dog. Benny Coffin 4 President.
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Nov 12, 2018 14:33
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Hey there square, sorry you can't keep up with their freak lifestyle. I bet you don't even ride a bike, listen to the Sex Pistols or eat huevos rancheros you fuckin' suit. Now if you'll excuse me, I am gonna write ONE GREAT SOOOOOONG MIIIIMIIIIII *farts out weaksauce dad rock riff*
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Nov 12, 2018 20:29
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Screaming Idiot posted:A black man with Downs syndrome who speaks in an insultingly racist stereotypical patois with troubling sexual anecdotes who is also a successful writer with substance abuse problems living in Maine in the 1960's is basically the ur-Stephen King Character. His house is lit entirely with arc-sodium lights, his palms are covered in crescent shaped scars and he recently took up with an inappropriately young and hot woman.
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Dec 24, 2018 01:05
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Hobbits would have a base 20 number system and everyone would hate them.
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Apr 2, 2019 20:38
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Pope Corky the IX posted:So did you somehow not like John, Sofia, and two armored dogs taking down dozens of armed guards? Guy runs forward, obligingly waits to be shot, two second pause until dog bites him. Repeat fifty times.
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May 31, 2019 16:50
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