PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

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Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

magic pantaloons posted:

Does anyone have a link to some scans from a British Women's magazine that had a handy hints section mostly with using menstrual pads and tampons for live hacks (like Christmas ornaments and padding on your hips to make curves)? It had two employees from the magazine trying them out and being photographed while approving of them.

The two of them went by one combined name. It was something like Chezzy (Cheryl + Lizzy), although I'll be surprised if I've actually remembered it correctly. I'm pretty sure one of their tips was the frozen toothpaste as mints one.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 12:26

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 05:57

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Trip Daddy X posted:

Lol whut

Board games can be really expensive. There are a lot of novelty chess sets on that page, but even excluding them there are a bunch of ordinary board games that are $100+.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2014 14:07

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

FutonForensic posted:

What does this even achieve that an ordinary kettle doesn't?

trickybiscuits posted:

This is hilarious.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2014 09:44

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Hollismason posted:

That bury a dead dog over someone you bury is pretty clever but who's going to believe 16 dogs all got buried in the same area?

Bury your victims in a pet cemetery.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2014 05:49

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

walkinginmysleep posted:

Every once in a while I'll be waiting for the elevator in my building and it'll just completely skip my floor. Whenever that happens I remember that elevator express mode lifehack and just silently curse whatever selfish prick is inside the elevator.

People are generally just terrible at lifts. I work on the fifth floor of a building so I use the lift a lot and see people doing it wrong almost every time.

At busy times (lunch, end of the day, etc.) they'll press both the up and down call buttons because that makes the lift stop at your floor no matter which way it's headed. It also means that if it's going the wrong way you'll go that way first, stop back at the floor you started on, then go the right way, saving you absolutely no time and slowing down everyone else.

When a number of people are getting in, the first person will immediately press the button for the floor they want, making the doors start to close on the people still entering. The doors stop closing and reopen when they sense the people, of course, but it makes the lift delay before it will let the doors try to close again so everyone has to wait for that.

There are a lot of people on the floor so sometimes one of the two lifts will fill up with some people still waiting. As the doors start to close, someone will press the call button because they want the other lift to come. This doesn't work. The lift can't tell how full it is, so what happens is the doors of the full lift just open again, and you have to wait out the delay before they start to close again. You have to wait for the first lift to leave before you can call the second one.

Also, people taking the lift when the stairs are the quicker, easier option. At the end of the day you're on the fifth floor, going down, and there's already a crowd around the lifts. By the time the first lift has arrived, filled up, and started moving and you can call the second lift, you could already be on the ground floor if you just took the stairs.

darkhand posted:

Can't imagine being so much of a pussy that a mosquito bite stays on your mind longer than "oh well."

They affect different people differently. I'm like you, I barely notice them. Some people have much stronger reactions though. It's really not the same experience for everyone.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2014 07:11

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 06:55

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Choco1980 posted:

Seriously, has nobody seen spoon holders/plates/whatever in their lives? Hell, just put down a square of paper towel if you don't have one.

Or just put the spoon on the bench, then wipe the bench down when you're done (which you should be doing anyway). Then you won't even need to wash an extra plate or waste some paper.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 05:19

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Lifehack: If you hide your booze inside a brown paper bag, no one knows you're drunk on the train.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 16:26

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

dino. posted:

There are a fair few schools that require first years to live in dorm units unless they are married, have a kid, or are living with parents. It's dumb.

Where are these schools? Salt Lake City? And how could they possibly know whether students are living with parents or by themselves?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2014 16:06

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Sagebrush posted:

Most supermarkets will somewhere have a pile of loaves of bread that come in paper bags instead of plastic and aren't sliced. These breads were baked that morning, have no high fructose corn syrup or preservatives in them, and only as much sugar as is needed to feed the yeast for the style. This is the kind of bread most of the world eats.

You will have to deal with slicing it yourself *gasp* and it will go hard after three days and moldy after five *gasp* because that's what bread does when it's not loaded up with propylene glycol and BHT.

The time it takes bread to go stale or mouldy depends on the climate and how it's stored.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2014 10:00

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

ShrimpToast posted:

Ice cube tray hacks
http://www.top-food.net/the-23-genius-ways-to-use-an-ice-cube-tray

12. Make ice cubes with leftover wine.

What does this even achieve? :psyduck:

quote:

17. Use your ice cube tray to portion out homemade cookie dough.

Again, why? :confused:

ShrimpToast posted:

The herbs in frozen olive oil seemed pretty gross to me.

I think the idea is that you're going to use the herbs and the oil in whatever you're cooking anyway so it doesn't matter if they're combined ahead of time. It still seems pretty pointless though.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2014 06:43

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

My Lovely Horse posted:

If you forgot to chill your wine, you can pop in some wine ice cubes and not water down your wine.

That's a great hack if the only thing you know about wine is NEEDS TO BE CHILL.

monkeytennis posted:

I think the wine cubes are for using in cooking. I could see me throwing a couple in the spag bol for instance instead of opening a fresh bottle to add some. The only problem is I never seem to have any left over wine.

Why wouldn't you just buy some wine, use some in the food and drink the rest with the food?

# ¿ Aug 14, 2014 13:36

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

AlbieQuirky posted:

I can only drink one glass of wine, pretty much, and my husband doesn't drink it. So we freeze the leftover wine and it is great in spaghetti sauce and the like. Got that trick from a Nigella Lawson cookbook.

Here in the US, it's difficult and/or expensive to get a decent wine in splits or a minibox.

You can just leave it in the bottle and drink it another day. I don't know what splits or miniboxes are, but an ordinary 750ml bottle is only seven or eight standard drinks. Even if you're only drinking one standard drink's worth every other day it'd only take you a couple of weeks to get through the bottle, and a glass is usually more than a standard drink anyway (plus you already used some in the food). And wine's not the sort of thing you have to use up immediately.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2014 06:47

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Wandle Cax posted:

You've clearly never used wine in cooking, each recipe calls for a specific type of wine which may not be suitable for drinking, you can't just pour in whatever bottle you happen to be drinking that night argh

We're not talking about having a recipe that calls for rice wine and just going "gently caress it, I'll use merlot instead. Wine's wine!"

Fathis Munk posted:

Also throw some corn flakes in there for some reason. Whatever.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2014 10:28

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

stratdax posted:

What the hell are you even talking about. There absolutely is Cooking Wine, as opposed to just wine you drink. Cooking Wine is usually crappy, which is why you cook with it (mixed with herbs and tomatoes or whatever) instead of drinking it. Wandle Cax is absolutely correct when he says you don't drink Cooking Wine (because it's poo poo to drink, you see). What the hell!

http://winefolly.com/review/choose-cooking-wine/

Here's an actual related LifeHack: Teens can buy cooking wine to drink because it isn't controlled by the Liquor control board, it's a viewed as a sauce or vinegar (in some countries I guess).

I feel like this is maybe a location-specific thing, because here in Australia you can buy perfectly good wine for $5 or less for a bottle, but I guess in some places cheap wine isn't a thing? Nobody would buy "cooking wine" here because every supermarket has cheap wine you can buy to drink, and there's no "wine that's too poo poo to drink that you can buy under-aged" because that's ridiculous.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2014 20:56

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Rick_Hunter posted:

He's got chili powder right in the 6th pic, dude. It's got some chili in it at least.
Basil in chili, on the other hand....FUUUUUUUUCK THAT!

Basil goes in everything. But who dumps crackers on top of their food? Why? :psyduck:

# ¿ Aug 17, 2014 17:30

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Dirty cutlery lying all over the place? Store it in empty yoghurt containers!

Want to watch a film, but can't be bothered showering? Due to a loophole in the law, you can actually go to the cinema in your pyjamas. They can't stop you!

# ¿ Aug 19, 2014 16:34

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Send your kid to an overcrowded, underfunded public school and he or she will probably come home with lice at least once. All it takes is for the dirty kid to hang his coat next to your kid's

Head lice have nothing to do with being dirty or what type of school you go to. Although they can survive short periods on clothes or furniture they don't jump or fly and generally spread directly from hair to hair, and kids playing together get pretty close. That's why they're far more common in children, and two coats hanging next to each other are not a likely way for them to spread.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 17:14

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Stottie Kyek posted:

This has been going around my Facebook friends. http://www.viralnova.com/eating-foods-wrong/

It's got a few familiar ones in it, like cutting a cupcake in half and smashing it together again, cutting up ice-cream tubs and doing various things with Oreos, but there are some extra stupid ones in there too. Like threading chunks of hot dog onto raw spaghetti strands before boiling them, heating pizza in a waffle iron and smearing a mango all over the inside of a beer mug.

The spaghetti hotdogs one is obviously incredibly dumb if you're an adult doing this to eat it yourself, but I can see it being a fun thing to do for children.

quote:

14.) Store-bought pastry dough can be filled with pretty much anything, then baked.

This is the best one. Go to the supermarket, buy a thing, then use it for its intended purpose. Lifehack! :downs:

# ¿ Aug 24, 2014 08:03

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Kalos posted:

Also hotdogs (at least everywhere I've ever lived) are sold pre-cooked so cooking them all the way through is not even in the tiniest bit an actual concern. The beginning and end of hot dog cooking is making them edibly warm because they're loving hot dogs. So the whole point of the Lifehack is meaningless.

But they look so cool. :downs:

# ¿ Aug 24, 2014 08:37

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Organza Quiz posted:

I'm Australian and this is the first I've heard of it. A hot dog is a sausage inside a bread roll. A sausage without a bread roll is just a sausage.

Where in Australia are you from? Because I've always understood hot dog, frankfurter and saveloy to be synonymous (except that a hot dog in a roll is also just called a hot dog). And I've never heard anyone say "sausage" when they meant a hot dog.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2014 16:21

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

eddoghetto posted:

FYI- Amazon has a free download today of "Real Clever Ideas and Solutions" for Kindle. I couldn't be bothered to setup a kindle account or whatever nonsense it required to view it, but it sounds ripe for the picking for this thread.

Mostly seems to be simple stuff that everyone already knows (generic products are cheaper than name brand, etc.). There are some that are just way more effort than they're worth and some that are useful only in unusual circumstances, but nothing that's particularly humourous or bizarre. And there are no pictures, so that's a disappointment.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 05:23

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Karma Monkey posted:

Need to cut ingredients up really small for scrambled eggs? Try a knife! The sharp "blade" cleanly slices through most foods with ease, and it's much more convenient to wash than a pizza cutter.

Squallege posted:

I've only ever ate scrambled eggs with ground pepper. It's never occurred to me that you could add anything else to it.

Tired of bland food? Try combining foods you like with other foods you like. WARNING: Some foods taste fine separately but do not go well together.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2014 14:05

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Pomp posted:

The problem with this isn't that it's beef (I can't actually remember the last pork sausage I had), it's that you're gonna have a crumbly dog that's a pain in the rear end to cook with none of what actually makes a decent dog good, while also offering zero advantages over a hamburger.

It's a skinless sausage. Have you never heard of skinless sausages before? The dumb thing isn't the end result, it's the fact that someone would think it necessary to use that ridiculous device to make them.

New Leaf posted:

I never knew that thing existed, but I'd love one for my house. I have limited counter space and that would save a lot of room.

Surely you could just put a normal microwave oven in the space where you would install that and have all the advantages with none of the disadvantages.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2014 05:32

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Cat Hatter posted:

Lifehack: Need more counterspace? Stop living like a college student and buy an over-the-range microwave from anywhere that sells appliances to replace the range-hood you already have instead of tearing out a cabinet to install some stupid abortion of a microwave drawer that nobody sells because its a solution to a problem nobody has.

I've literally never seen a microwave installed above a stove and it sounds like it would destroy the microwave before too long. I don't see why you can't just put a normal microwave under the bench in place of a cabinet (which I have seen done) rather than getting a drawer-style one though.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2014 09:44

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

RillAkBea posted:

To be honest I just kept everything loose in my pockets until I was 25, which I guess is kind of a life hack?

Life hack: Tired of digging around in your pockets looking for your driver's licence, credit card, library card, student ID, etc? You can buy a wallet for a few dollars that has separate compartments so you'll always be able to find everything! You can even keep other things, like money and photos in there.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2014 17:16

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Lifehack: Most pizza places will deliver pre-sliced pizza right to your house, no knives, scissors or pizza cutters required.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2014 06:57

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Picnic Princess posted:

I had a half loaf of wonderbread in my cupboard for 5 months and it never went moldy. I'm sure that's perfectly healthy to eat.

It definitely is. I mean, it doesn't provide a lot of nutritional value, but there's nothing wrong with it. The reason it lasts so well is because it contains salt, sugar and vinegar, which are preservatives.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2014 10:34

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Hirayuki posted:

I think if they're specifically asking for whole milk right out of the gate, they've pretty much thrown "healthy" out the window.

I've never been able to understand how anyone can think that getting low-fat milk is noticeably healthier. Full-cream milk is between 3.2% and 3.8% fat. Low fat is generally 2%. Even if you go for no-fat milk, how much milk are you drinking that this even matters?

# ¿ Sep 25, 2014 05:09

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

http://imgur.com/gallery/L9qL6

Includes:

Taping a roll of tape to your car seat

Taping an empty can to your lawnmower

Sitting on top of a pile of garbage

And many more!

Bonus: In the comments you'll find people who actually think some of these are good ideas.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 06:54

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

No tubes are being joined. It's a weird perspective down a lawnmower handle. Our hero has duct-taped a can to the handle to act as a bottle/cup holder.

It's another one from the same gallery

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 11:22

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Present posted:

Need a faucet for your bathroom? Lets install a super short one so that when you're washing your hands you're grinding your knuckles on the far wall of the sink the entire time.

This is the worst. At least with separate taps there is a good reason why they used to be done that way, but why would you ever install a tap that's way too short for the sink? It's just crazy. Although not quite as crazy as the sink in my friend's laundry where the tap is too long. It's one of those ones that can pivot and extend, but the only way you can use it is diagonally and at the shortest setting, because anything else will put it past the edge of the sink.

walrusman posted:

Three knobs, one actual hole-where-water-comes-out. That's what I grew up with and that's what makes the most sense. You can get the right temperature of water before you turn on the shower.

How does this work? How can you tell what temperature you're going to get if the water isn't running yet?

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 07:30

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

walrusman posted:

This. You get the temperature all nice and toasty by adding the right amounts of hot and cold, and it all runs out of the lower faucet. When it's just right, turn the middle knob to divert the water from the normal faucet to the showerhead. No guesswork involved.

How is that more convenient? It's just adding a step to the process for no reason. It's no easier to get the right temperature with water coming out of the bath tap than if it's coming out of the shower head.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 11:42

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Trent posted:

Except you aren't standing in it getting frozen or scalded while it heats up or cools down, or you aren't standing outside of the shower with the curtain/door open reaching inside to try to fiddle with the temperature.

Have you never used the two knob plus diverter configuration? It's definitely superior to any single-knob configuration I've ever seen in a shower.

My shower is over the bath. There's one set of taps to turn the water on, and a button on the bath tap to switch between it and the shower head. If I want to have a shower, I set it to shower, stand in the bath (but not under the shower head) and turn the hot water on. When it heats up I turn the cold tap on gradually until it gets to the temperature I want.

When I used to live in a place with a stand-alone shower the procedure was much the same, except there was no ability to switch between bath and shower because there was no bath. I'd stand in the shower (but not under the shower head), turn the hot water on, wait for it to run hot, then add as much cold as necessary.

In my current situation, setting it to bath while the water heated up and cooled down would just mean I'd have to bend down to feel the water temperature. How could that be more convenient?

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 15:03

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Kajeesus posted:

Wait, how the gently caress DO you eat corn, then?

I slice the kernels off the cob and eat them with a fork.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2014 05:04

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Actual goony life hack I learned about.

If you are camping, you can use doritoes for kindling for a fire!

If you're camping, you are surrounded by actual kindling. Sometimes it's hard to find larger logs, but when are you ever going to be in a situation where you have everything you need for a fire except kindling?

# ¿ Oct 28, 2014 06:09

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Screaming Idiot posted:

hot dogs are the worst meat

I guess you've never heard of spam, then?

# ¿ Nov 10, 2014 13:26

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Wandle Cax posted:

You might have a computer hooked up to your TV for watching Youtube, and a couch far away enough for a remote to be useful.

I actually have such a computer/TV setup, so I tried it and at the first step (going to youtube.com/tv) it just told me "YouTube on TV is not supported on this device." :confused:

# ¿ Nov 13, 2014 04:56

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

DrBouvenstein posted:

There's a beer store near me that does something similar, but it's not a "make your own" 6-pack, they make it for you. From beers where maybe a pack got damaged, or someone stole one bottle from a 6-pack in the display case, etc... The same price range as the build your own ones at the grocery store, but 99% of the time it's better beer.

Can you not buy one beer out of a six-pack where you live?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 03:41

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 05:57

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Bogan Krkic posted:

Who only wants 1 beer anyway?

I dunno why, but I see people buying one or two beers all the time at my local supermarket. I guess if you just want a single beer and have really poor self-control, so you know that you'd drink all six if you had them in your fridge?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 05:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Stupid Lifehacks: Oh, so that's how you smoke a jay.

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