Weird News Headlines: The male is in the czech

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GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Tony Phillips posted:

Jesus Christ. The idea of being famous enough to be able to short a stock, poo poo talk them on twitter, and then potentially make millions.

I'm old and this world is weird.

(I honestly wonder if there's any SEC rules that doing something like that would violate.)

I ran it by a friend who does compliance for an investment bank. Formatting is of because it was several text messages.

quote:

You could maybe get her on market manipulation if she had put on a short before doing it but not insider trading; she didn't have any inside information.

I'm sure they looked at trading in the stock prior to the tweet

The more I think about it it's not that insane of a question. Someone definitely got told to look at trading in SNAP leading up to the tweet and if anyone put on large shorts or a large Put position, they'd check who it was and for any connection to her/her businesses

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEC_Rule_10b-5

"Employment of manipulative devices" 10b5 is a catch all for a large portion of most Compliance programs

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 00:39

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 06:23

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Samuringa posted:

Good dog

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 04:57

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

The Hard Times is satire.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2018 00:16

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Aramoro posted:

Jaywalking shouldn't be punishable, its a dumb loving law and confuses me everytime I hear about it.

This should probably go to the Traffic Engineer thread in A/T if there's much more discussion, but here's my 2 cents. It's like a lot of things in road design, particularly speeding; people will act in a way that they feel safe and if people are routinely breaking the law, the problem is the design. If people are routinely jaywalking, they feel that the safety risk is worth it for the convenience and there should be more crosswalks plus disincentives to jaywalking like raised medians. If people are routinely speeding on local streets, they're driving as fast as they feel comfortable driving and there should be traffic calming measures like narrower lanes, shoulders with bump-outs, and busy roadsides with things like small trees to make the road feel narrower. If people are biking on sidewalks when they're supposed to be driving on the road, it's probably because the road is a deathtrap and there should be proper bike infrastructure; this goes both ways - if cyclists are rampantly running red lights and hopping curbs despite cycle infrastructure, the bike lanes should be physically separated from car lanes and sidewalks.

GWBBQ has a new favorite as of 11:37 on Mar 21, 2018

# ¿ Mar 21, 2018 11:34

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

mrkillboy posted:

Does he have one of those pens with his DNA in the ink to verify it was his signature?

Platystemon posted:

We all know what Michael Collins was up to while Neil and Buzz were hopping around on the Lunar surface.

The morbid truth is that he spent a lot of the time studying to make sure he could fly the capsule back alone if Neil and Buzz didn't make it back.

GWBBQ has a new favorite as of 05:44 on Apr 9, 2018

# ¿ Apr 9, 2018 05:36

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

AlmightyBob posted:

Morrissey was always a shithead

# ¿ Apr 18, 2018 05:08

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

ultrafilter posted:

Crustaceans on TTC subway seats cause crabbiness in commuters

As a result of being thrown around, the crabs died

# ¿ May 17, 2018 02:26

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

The MSJ posted:

Theresa May's socially awkward curtsy to Prince William has people cringing

Every picture I've seen of Theresa May curtsying looks like one of those compilations of poorly drawn swastikas.

Zil posted:

I don't hate it, cilantro just tastes like soap to me.

You have the gene they're testing for, you're just not going on an anti-cilantro crusade about it.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

More like grasshopper simulator.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2018 00:54

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Intoluene posted:

Worst part is, I know exactly who that guy is and why he's in the news.

He put his public transport pass in his hand so the company stopped the pass ruling something about altering the pass making it void. He won the court case about it.

Still had to pay court fees, though.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 02:30

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

ZombieLenin posted:

Alt-right catholic? They know who the pope is right? And how he said Marxist parties were the types of political parties catholics should support, right?

There are various groups of hardline traditionalist Catholics, and what Pope Francis has said are not considered statements of dogma (spoken ex cathedra and invoking papal infallability.) Some reject Vatican II, and there's plenty of picking and choosing that happens.

Tony Phillips posted:

I'm going to count TV graphics as headlines, since I have no idea where else to put this. But drat me if this isn't important news.

It's an opiate titty ouroboros.

Weird News Headlines, Quotes, & Articles: It's an opiate titty ouroboros

# ¿ Aug 5, 2018 10:26

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Peeny Cheez posted:

Probably complete bullshit.

Agreed. Established and newly cultured yeast strains for brewing are really picky about ideal conditions, and wild yeast/bacteria can gently caress up a batch easily. If the models were even involved rather than this being a publicity stunt, some creep used it as an excuse to molest underwear models and claim it was for science.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2018 01:52

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Man who sent prostitutes to strip on neighbor's porch sentenced for child porn

Also, to balance the soul crushing factor of that Europol photo identification page, there's a thread on the Web Sleuths forums dedicated to it, and there are a few people who manage to find things almost as fast as they're posted. One person seems ridiculously talented at it and, for the hotel spa pictures, identified the exact motel room where the pictures were taken.

Screaming Idiot posted:

this post, sounds like christopher? walken.

Knormal posted:

Boy, paralysed, after tumor, fights back, to gain a black belt.

And this one sounds like William Shatner.

The MSJ posted:

Anish Kapoor is at it again: Man hospitalised after falling in Anish Kapoor installation

This is indeed a real hole, not something he painted onto the floor.

God, I loving hate Anish Kapoor.

ultrafilter posted:

The looming deluge of connected dildos is a security nightmare

Someday soon, connected sex toys will start participating in a massive Denial of Service attack, and I refuse to have news of this delivered to me by anyone but Wolf Blitzer.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 05:33

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Not exactly a headline, but my town's alert system sent out the ominous-sounding "Wormwood situation resolved. Safe to return home," yesterday. Sounds apocalyptic, but it was fortunately a peacefully resolved standoff on Wormwood Road.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2019 01:06

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Sir Lemming posted:

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1165138017251680256

That paywall is killing me

Couldn't read the article but from the headline, photo, and first few linesA huge number of genetically diverse skeletons keep showing up in what's commonly referred to as "skeleton lake" in the Himalayas. Skeletons of genetically diverse people have been found in the high altitude lake near a known Silk Road trail, and more show up from time to time.

The lake is just uphill from what was a heavily traveled Silk Road route, and people who went up there were either looking for a better viewpoint or maybe climbing to do religious things. A lot of them are found with walking sticks that indicate they intentionally climbed, there are no signs of violence between groups or individuals that I've read about. They got lost and starved to death.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2019 00:17

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Knormal posted:

Behold a non-paywalled article about Skeleton Lake:

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/08/dna-study-deepens-mystery-lake-skeletons-roopkund/

The weirdest part is a lot of them were Greeks, who somehow ended up at a Himalayan lake.

Again, Silk Road.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2019 18:38

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1440107864249585670

Weird News Headlines, Quotes, & Articles: an undisclosed quantity of fries

# ¿ Sep 26, 2021 15:42

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Prepare Yourself For an Avalanche of Fake Meat

Scathach posted:

John Wick didn't even use blanks. It was all special effects. There's no reason to use blanks for movies anymore.

The SFX in John Wick were pretty bad, but these guys who exclusively do prop guns and gun effects showed that it could easily have been done much better without needing to use live guns on set
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3_R8nwy5Q

There's one reason (even if it's not a good one) to use real guns and blanks on set, and it's the fact that real guns are far cheaper than prop guns and SFX. I hope this lights a fire under the rear end of the entire entertainment industry and that changes. This can absolutely be forced, if crew won't work on a set where hot guns are pointed anywhere near people and you can't insure a production that allows hot guns on set, these changes will be made.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2021 23:13

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Student-staff lap dance incident at Kentucky high school followed other provocative events, videos show

:crossarms:

Cartoon Man posted:

I refuse to google whether this is Onion or not, I�m just gonna accept it�s true.

It is. Autobrewery syndrome is unusual but real. I don't have it, but I've eaten dough to make sure it had risen properly and gotten a serious buzz an hour or two later if I had something with a lot of carbs in it. Probably because the vast majority of the baking I do is pastries so they're a lot of sugar to ferment, but it can sneak up on you.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2021 09:11

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
North Georgia Overtaken by Giant Spiders
Wait, let me read the article first ...

quote:

November 9, 2021

Giant, yellow spiders from East Asia have taken up residence in northern Georgia over the last few years, and scientists say they�re not going anywhere.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Zil posted:

How many cocks do you have?

This is a highly improper question. Enrique, show this goon the door!

Captain Hygiene posted:

Man gets eaten by piranhas after drowning in lake while escaping bee attack

If it's any consolation, it's the Daily Express so odds are this was completely made up.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 00:21

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

ultrafilter posted:

The Never-Aging Ants With a Terrible Secret

linked from there
This Parasite Drugs Its Hosts With the Psychedelic Chemical in Shrooms

It also makes their butts fall off.
Bonus: it also doses them with amphetamines.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2021 10:56

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Chemtrailologist posted:

https://twitter.com/stereogum/status/1460680412691406850?s=20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U917ou7MWx0

# ¿ Nov 17, 2021 19:06

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

PhantomOfTheCopier posted:

What's your license plate number?
How is the capacity of the fuel tank?
What kind of brakes does it have?
How many cylinders?
How many gears in the transmission?
What is an acceptable tire pressure?
What is the difference between lower and higher octane fuel? (other than the price)
How closely are you legally allowed to follow an ambulance if its emergency lights are on?

That's a complete scam. There's absolutely no way to know how many gears there are in an automatic transmission, even (especially) if you take it apart and count them.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2021 11:42

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/Leo_Puglisi6/status/1468458890052333568

gently caress, I walked by this 2 hours earlier and would have stayed if I knew there would be a show.

Serious note: it sounds like the person who started the fire is homeless and has a history of mental health and drug abuse issues, so I'm sure Fox will hype up something about antifa supersoldiers and the War on Christmas.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 08:53

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

AFewBricksShy posted:

My personal hero is the doctor that was accepting bribes for giving people fake vaccine shots, and then just gave them real shots anyway.

Bizarre Transparent Fish That Sees Through Its Own Head Captured in Rare Footage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Akv36y8WLYA

# ¿ Dec 15, 2021 22:11

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Platystemon posted:

But can it see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

It's because Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a General Mills brand, which is currently the less objectionable cereal conglomerate after the poo poo Kellogg's pulled last week by firing striking workers.

Wait, no, these kids probably haven't fully developed class consciousness, yet, they probably love the taste because it tastes really good.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2021 23:50

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Captain Hygiene posted:

Welp,

I'm pretty sure some old strains of anthrax have already thawed. Fortunately, naturally occurring anthrax spores don't go airborne anywhere nearly as severely as weaponized spores

# ¿ Jan 2, 2022 10:33

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Inceltown posted:

Just like the headline says. It's bathwater girl 2.0.

She's going to invest her fart money in crypto instead of moving direct to Onlyfans.

Was the thing I read earlier today about her selling fart NFTs real or a joke?

I know this is a weird question, but reality is getting harder to distinguish from fiction and nothing involving cryptocurrency was ever rooted in reality.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2022 03:18

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Party like a Sumerian: reinterpreting the �sceptres� from the Maikop kurgan
https://www.cambridge.org/core/jour...F5A0F04CD133184

Discovered in 1897, intricately decorated tubes found at the burial site were thought to be sceptres, or possibly ornamental tent stakes. You can keep saying they were for ceremonial/ritual purposes if you'd like, because a recent analysis of the residue inside them shows that they're actually ancient beer bongs.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2022 03:01

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

If Nixon had his way, we would have had Medicare for All.

That said, Kissinger of all people had to talk his drunken rear end out of a nuclear first strike, so it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2022 23:58

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/CarbieWarbie/status/1494265130183446529/photo/1

While a normal person would wonder whether this list is real or a joke, I've seen at least 8 of those bands live.

Disclaimer: I've also grown as a person and come to realize since then that being offensive for shock value isn't actually funny.

AlbieQuirky posted:

As a former university teacher and administrator, I firmly believe that you have to spell this poo poo out in detail for some kids.

I didn't teach, but I did once get a slight talking-to when I asked a student wearing a Hvis lyset tar oss shirt, "isn't Burzum the band with with the Nazi guy who stabbed the other guy in the band they were in?"

# ¿ Feb 18, 2022 16:59

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

By popular demand posted:

Is there any solution other than killing the poor thing? It's not going to forget that houses are where snacks hide.

Bear sanctuary with prop houses and enclosed viewing areas where visitors can watch Hank break in and eat.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2022 14:22

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Russian Sculptor Arrested for Giant Turd Installation

# ¿ Feb 28, 2022 23:04

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Is he the one having a replica of the Titanic built for himself?

# ¿ Mar 2, 2022 03:35

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

He's using a hand crank to fold up one of those giant flags they bring out on sports fields during the national anthem. At least that's how it was explained to me.

I was on the field holding one of those flags a few years ago and there was no crank involved.

# ¿ May 23, 2022 16:43

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Humerus posted:

This is completely wrong, but the headlines are funny.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2022 01:42

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/kirawontmiss/status/1540876817359425536

We can pretty well see where her center of mass is, how many g's were her head and feet subjected to and can any medical professionals speculate on what the blood pressure differential between torso and head/feet would do to a person? I'm guessing she would need an appropriate type of scan to check for brain aneurysms, would there be additional risks like insufficient oxygenation of certain organs, blood clots in her legs, or anything else?

# ¿ Jun 28, 2022 00:04

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Knormal posted:

https://twitter.com/DallasZoo/status/1613934252969660435
I know they're not exactly lions or tigers, but I'm not sure I'd consider a clouded leopard a "non-dangerous" animal.

Counterpoint: look at this kitty!

MagpieConcept posted:

Also apologies for contributing to a derail, that's my bad for not being more clear about what I was saying.

Here's a neat and short one about lizards evolving to deal with urban environments.

I vaguely remember a similar article involving a moth that was getting more gray patterns to blend in with concrete.

The peppered moth evolved to blend in with increased pollution due to the industrial revolution.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution

# ¿ Jan 14, 2023 22:59

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

It was because they did it at the station while on duty.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2023 10:07

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

trapped mouse posted:

The headline is nothing special. The article on the other hand...

I didn't know the Pope could say that.

https://catholicherald.co.uk/pope-francis-rants-against-delinquent-priests-who-withhold-absolution-2/

# ¿ Jan 24, 2023 04:48

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 06:23

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

freeedr posted:

I only ask for socks and maybe an article or two of clothing each Christmas, so I have like 100 pairs of super nice size 13-16 socks.

Only problem is that I walk a billion steps a day and walk through my socks after only wearing them 3-5 times, or even just 1-2 times for cheap socks

I mentioned this to my orthopedist, who helpfully noted that "the problem is that your toes are too long."

# ¿ Feb 16, 2023 16:03

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