Fast & Furious 7: Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Fast & Furious 7: Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family.

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Fun fact: Iggy Azalea was 11 years old when The Fast and the Furious was in theaters.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 21:27

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:16

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

One tiny, insignificant thing that bugged me:

You're Brian O'Connor. You're trying to bust loose this hacker from a well-funded, well-trained paramilitary organization and you have a literal army's worth of resources, weapons, vehicles, and materiel at your disposal (to the point where one of your teammates orders two different cars fused together). Your job is to ditch your car, leap into a bus full of spec-ops dudes, and fight your way through them solo.

Obviously the right gear to carry is a hoodie, sneakers, and a T-shirt, with your pistol jammed in your waistband. Seriously dude, you couldn't have borrowed a Kevlar vest, at least?

Rest of the movie loving owned, and the Caucasus chase was my favorite part. The finale wasn't as good as, say, the tank chase, airplane chase, or dragging $100 million in cash through the streets of Rio, but I had a gigantic smile on my face the entire time. We now live in a world where I can watch a different Fast and the Furious movie every single day of the week, even if Tuesday might kinda suck.

My ranking:
5
6
7
4
1
3
2

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Apr 4, 2015

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 19:32

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I'll be honest, I was kinda surprised that Kurt Russell DIDN'T betray that at any point.

So at this point, how many times has Dom totaled his dad's car? He smashed it into the train in 1 and then loving WEAPONIZED his signature lift-the-front-end-of-his-car-while-accelerating move to trash Shaw's Aston Martin, but later jumped it into the helicopter.

Not complaining, because it did lead to what was basically a Shaw-Toretto lightsaber fight with wrenches, complete with the Duel of the Fates-esque soundtrack

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Apr 5, 2015

# ¿ Apr 5, 2015 18:52

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

CobiWann posted:

What does it say that in a movie where a car jumps between two (no, three) skyscrapers, a guy who was the biggest race promoter on the East Coast is now a top flight hacker, a drone missile can hit the back end of a car and just cause a spin out, a car can ROLL DOWN AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN and the driver and passenger can walk it off thanks to a reinforced roll cage, and Paul Walker can hang with Tony Jaa in two fights�

�the only part of the movie that completely took me out of the moment was the random five-second Iggy Azalea cameo? That was the sole time during the entire movie where I rolled my eyes.

Yeah, it was pretty loving stupid. If they really were dead-set on having her in the movie, why not make her the start girl at Race Wars instead of the tattooed chick? That's what they did in 6 with Rita Ora... and it was still kinda dumb, but at least there was a reason for her to be there.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 20:45

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I'm still holding out for Helen Mirren as Mama Shaw.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2015 05:37

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

The MSJ posted:

A Top Gear crew cameo really must happen in the next one.

Screw that, I want Ray Magliozzi.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2015 20:55

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

The nonsense nature of all the setups is part of the charm. Like they're trying to rob enough money in 5 to start over... So they plan a heist that uses millions of dollars in vehicles and equipment

If I recall correctly, the only expenses they had in 5 were buying the vault and presumably renting the warehouse where they practiced evading the cameras. All of the cars were either stolen, won in races, or property of the US Diplomatic Security Service.

Still, it would have made a lot more sense if they had kept the money from the first cash house and used it to fund the rest of the heist instead of lighting it on fire.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2015 20:17

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

El Gaucho posted:

I watched this master piece in a lovely dollar theater. Five bags of pop corn.

Try Fatburger from now on. Get yourself a double cheese with fries for $2.95 human being

Anyway, I just rewatched the first movie again. That tiny rear end deli/grocery store that Mia and Dom ran was a money laundering front, right? O'Connor was always the only person there (presumably only to do recon on Dom and hit on Mia, which he may have only been doing to have an excuse to do recon on Dom anyway) and both Mia and Vince admit that the food was lovely. I'm assuming it got shut down when that sweet, sweet DVD player money dried up.

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Apr 14, 2015

# ¿ Apr 14, 2015 04:51

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

WarLocke posted:

Oh this was another awesome bit. That rushed "Too slow!" was great, Brian was just aiting to get the last word in and no way was he gonna let that opportunity slide.

That last Tony Jaa fight, in any other movie, would be worth the full price of admission, but I love that in this it's just another badass scene among dozens and hardly gets mentioned. The bit where they slide down the stairs on the door was beautifully choreographed and foreshadowed.

Someone mentioned earlier in the thread how underrated Paul Walker's stagefighting skills were, but it's worth saying again. It was actually kinda-sorta believable that he could beat Tony loving Jaa in a fistfight.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 04:04

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I don't know if this has been posted before, but here's a short featurette about how they did the tank chase in 6. I had no idea how much of that was practical effects, right down to getting an actual 60-ton tank to run over actual moving cars, and using little RC cars to film it. :stare:

I love this series so, so much.

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Apr 18, 2015

# ¿ Apr 18, 2015 09:44

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

WhyteRyce posted:

I want Channing Tatum in FF8. White House Down was basically a FF movie

I just saw John Wick and now I kind of want Keanu.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 21:14

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I want to see Tony Jaa vs. The Rock.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2015 04:03

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I'm glad they gave up the movie-every-year idea they had for a while. although it's a shame it took their lead actor dying to do it.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2016 03:38

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Armyman25 posted:

Walton Goggins.

I just had a vision of him as the villain of Fast Nine and now I'm afraid I'll accept no substitute.

# ¿ May 3, 2016 05:02

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

GonSmithe posted:

Took me a while to notice that those are the tendons on his neck and not, in fact, the pointiest beard in cinema.

EDIT: still pretty pointy though

# ¿ May 30, 2016 01:06

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

I would be totally okay if the official title of the movie with just F8.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2016 18:56

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

LesterGroans posted:

Helen Mirren confirmed she's in Fast 8.

Holy poo poo, dreams do come true.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2016 17:19

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Dang, that Stingray (?) is hot as gently caress. RIP I guess

# ¿ Jul 20, 2016 19:45

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

The MSJ posted:

New picture of Hobbs aka Iceman.

The shades are covering it up a bit, but I'm glad the man still can fire off a classic People's Eyebrow.

The MSJ posted:

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BIiKsZtD5zG/

I'm the guy burying his face in the wall hoping The Rock doesn't notice he accidentally skipped my rear end-whooping

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 22:11 on Aug 2, 2016

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 22:09

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Cage posted:

Or when he just casually shoots the bad guy in the face.

You mean in Five where he double-taps the dude crawling out of his totaled SUV without even looking? Yeah, that owned.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 15:07

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

gently caress me, that's majestic.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 18:18

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

WarLocke posted:

To be fair, he kind of was. Dom is like a level 17 Muscle Car Driver at that point and would have shrugged off that collision.

Or, well, he drove imports in the first movie so maybe he dual-classed. So Dom is like level 3 Import Driver / level 14 Muscle Car Driver, while Brian went all-in on Imports. Tej is the 'tinker' of the group and Hobbes straight up went Military Vehicles as a class. Whichever goon first pointed out that these movies are basically a superheroes-with-cars D&D campaign, I tip my hat to you because they really are.

Someone could probably make a pretty sweet Apocalypse World hack for this franchise. If I were designing it, every character would have two sheets: Driver, with classes like Brawler (Toretto, Hobbes), Techie (Tej), Face (Roman) and Gunslinger (Brian, Gisele); and then Ride, where your classes are Muscle, Import, Military, Motorcycle, etc and as you level up you add modification and engine upgrades and hood scoops and poo poo. You get a certain amount of bonus dice per session that you can add to any roll, and they're called your NOS dice.

And of course you're not in a party, you're a Family.

EDIT: and there's no dedicated Driver class because EVERYONE is a driver. Once you're in your car, you ride or die. :black101:

ninjahedgehog fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Dec 29, 2016

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 19:44

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

ninjahedgehog posted:

I'm still holding out for Helen Mirren as Mama Shaw.

gently caress yeah.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2017 17:33

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:16

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Saw this earlier today. Like everyone else I was kinda annoyed that they glossed over the fact that the Shaws were directly responsible for the deaths of two of their crew, to the point where I thought I missed a line of dialogue somewhere. Also, I was absolutely 100% convinced that the submarine chase would end with an actual nuclear detonation.

Personal series ranking so far:

5
6
7
8
4
1
3
2

Remember when this series used to be about stealing DVD players?

# ¿ Apr 24, 2017 02:55

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Fast & Furious 7: Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family.