Picnic Princess posted:

I think I'll just these

http://imgur.com/T6XKVke

quote:

You want a linguistic kill shot to end DAESH recruiting? I don’t have the details worked out, but perhaps something along the lines of…

If you kill infidels, you will be rewarded with virgins in heaven. But if you kill your own leaders today – the ones holding the leash on your balls – you can have access to women tomorrow. And tomorrow is sooner.

EmmyOk posted:

This one is the most

KILLALLNERDS.EXE posted:

http://imgur.com/X6QlBLP

Paladinus posted:

Peep Show is real.

https://np.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/40q0g0/the_cups_in_our_house_keep_disappearing_turns_out/cywevhi

Nightswimming posted:

This girl is very nice and certainly not A, U or G, but she looks like she's excitedly displaying a massive poop.

goose fleet posted:

At what point do you draw the line between vegan "recipes" and "just salad with a different name"

ServoMST3K posted:

I lifted weights regularly for a few years around 2009-2012 and although I could pick up heavy stuff fairly well I would get winded going up 4-5 flights of stairs at the school I was attending. I don't lift weights or walk nearly as much currently but I can move around much easier. In other words I suck at being fit while trying to be fit.

Also if anyone wants awkward details about my year long squat poop fest I'd be happy to share.

Tetracube posted:

cash crab posted:

But yes. Numbers. Thank God statisticians and sociologists never talk to one another, then we'd have some nuance along with our data.

Mushinronsha posted:

Chiming in to say as a lady goon, if a guy took me back to his place and there was a "pretty big hoard" of action figures, and they were "on every surface", I would be concerned that I've missed some other red flags and would start trying to figure out what those are.

Obeah posted:

When I was working as a graphic designer for PAWS Inc. (SE Asian Market) in Muncie, Indiana, I got stuck in what I can only describe as a triplex apartment between a group of BSU students and an elderly, mentally handicapped man who would tell us all about how he was the last person in his assistance program to still have a helper monkey. Apparently they've mostly been phased out or something?

Anyway, the kids who lived next to me in the triplex were obsessed with seeing this grandfathered capuchin and seemed to be split 50-50 on believing it even existed. I'd been there six months, the students almost a year, and none of us had seen or heard this thing in person. Kenneth - the old man - would stand on his end of the house and "water the grass", which really just amounted to chain smoking and hosing his corner of the lawn down. Anytime any of us went outside while he was doing this, he'd yell conversation to us. "Esquire (the monkey) turned off the TV during Final Jeopardy last night. I got so mad..." and "I caught Esquire eating out of the trash again. Such a pain in my rear end." It was nonstop during the summer months.

So at the end of August, I was helping Kenneth with some legitimate yard work. He asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner, and even though Esquire did not come up in the invitation at all, he was my first thought. A chance to confirm this creature's existence. I jumped at the opportunity.

So that night, I have the worst meal of my life. Reheated spaghetti eaten out of Tupperware. No conversation. Just the sounds of us eating. Feeling weirdly nauseous and wanting to go home, I asked Kenneth where Esquire was.

"In my bedroom. He was acting up earlier. and I didn't want him bothering you during supper."

I should have accepted this, but I pressed on, saying I was full and just wanted to meet him before going home. At this point, Kenneth stood up, walked to his bedroom, slammed the door shut, and was in there for maybe five minutes or so. I was about to leave when he came out.

"He's about to bedtime out, but you can see him before you leave."

Here's my memory of that encounter, as filtered through my PTSD (semi-serious here - I could get diagnosed for sure):

Sock monkey sitting in a wicker chair next to a bed. Withered Cracker Barrel price tag still hanging off. White areas of the monkey stained with nicotine. A hole cut in between the legs. Kenneth behind me. The sinking feeling as I realize his hard cock (still in pants, though) is pressed against my back. I forget the exact words, but he did ask me to touch Esquire, so I half heartedly petted it and he slapped the back of my head. Whispered to me "F-fingerblast this little turd." That part I remember perfectly. And I did.

I won't dwell on the rest of the encounter. Suffice to say that it was a bad night for me, and finishing out that lease was hell. I don't regret anything but accepting the dinner invitation. Had I not become finger intimate with Esquire, he very well could have stabbed me. He'd been collecting knives since Vietnam. I noticed several pocket knives on a drawer in the bedroom alone. This was a scary dude, and it's hard to blame myself for it. But anyway, I ended up getting let go from my dream job right before the end of the lease, so obviously I didn't stick around for long.

All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that you should really, really be careful around this neighbor of yours. What seems and reads as funny on SA or to your friends can be a life threatening, terrifying experience irl.

Hihohe posted:

change my name posted:

It was darksydephil. The stream's still going on but I'm sure someone will put up a video soon.