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ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for walking out of a dinner party with my boyfriend's family, because of something his Uncle said to me?

I went to a dinner party with my boyfriend's extended family last weekend. I've met a lot of the family already last year at Thanksgiving.

At the dinner, I was talking to my boyfriend's Aunt and Uncle about what I do (systems engineering for nuclear power plants) and then his Uncle said something pretty gross about how the guys there must like having a pretty young lady to look at.

Now I admit that hit a sore spot for me. I have had some crappy experiences with coworkers not respecting me because I'm a young woman.

I firmly said to my boyfriend's Uncle "I don't care for how you just spoke to me; I better not hear anything like that again". I was trying to be firm but respectful; speaking to him in the same way I'd speak to someone at work who said something I didn't appreciate. And he got kind of stubborn, saying he was just paying me a compliment. By this point, everyone was staring.

I was feeling pretty mad and I realized it would be a better call to walk away rather than escalate. So I said "excuse me, I'm going to take a walk before I say something I'll regret." And I went and grabbed my shoes and purse and went for a walk.

I'd already been having a really bad week before this, my best friend moved out of town and I missed her a lot, my apartment had been partially flooded by a plumbing issue, I was exhausted from the long drive the night before. And this thing, that should have been a little annoyance, was like the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I started crying when I walked. I texted my best friend to tell her I missed her. She called me right away and could tell I was upset, and we talked for a while as I wandered. Talking to her made me feel a lot better, and after catching up for about 20 minutes, I noticed my phone was dying, and I ought to have been getting back, so I said bye.

My phone died right after we hung up, and I started making my way back to my boyfriend's house. But I must have taken a wrong turn as I tried to backtrack my steps; I was lost in suburban sprawl.

I saw the church steeple in the distance, and I realized that if I went to the church, the train station was close by. And I knew my way to my boyfriend's family's house from the station. So I took that roundabout way back. By the time I got back, I'd been out for about two hours.

I got back and my boyfriend was upset with me for being gone for so long, not answering calls, and generally for walking out rather than doing something less dramatic. I told him about my phone dying, about getting lost, and he was still upset with me. I'd made things very uncomfortable at the party when I was gone.

I apologized and said I'd tried to walk off to deescalate things, and it wasn't my intention to end up doing the exact opposite. But he was still upset with me for being a drama queen, which I don't think is fair.

AITA for what I did at the party?

This person was not as calm and collected as they think they were, and good for them. gently caress that uncle, and gently caress every jackass who thinks like he does.

Oh the misogynistic prick feels awkward? And that's her problem why?

Also, dump the boyfriend, life's short.

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ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

DemoneeHo posted:

My (26f) maid of honor (26f) is transgender and my BIL (19m) told my in conservative inlaws. My fiancee (28m) is debating about kicking them out of our wedding.

It would be handled long ago if they would stop insisting on involving his trash family. He doesn't want them there, honour the husband's wishes.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

She's a lawyer and posted this:
So whatever her plan is I'm sure the twitter posts were a considered action (possibly ill-considered, but considered none the less). Also #2 has so many layers coming from a lawyer.

Yeah, I gotta say, even if it's an easy case, and you are a strong person, it's going to be work to take them on. So get paid for it.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Coredump posted:

Even in a pretty causal office environment a tank top is pushing it.

Why? Unless they are going into the office fully nude, how is coming to work clothed and able pushing it?

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Pinecone Sample posted:

WIBTA if I don't attend my sister's $2800 per ticket destination wedding? *I do have enough money.

For any person who wants a destination wedding, even if you pay for the whole thing, it's imposing the other person in a huge way. So if you want one, you live with the fact that not everyone is coming.

As someone who has a sister who is exactly like the one in the Stan Lee story, take the hint now that your mom is trash, along with your sister, and when you move away, don't look back, not to spite them, for your own mental health.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend that her roommate dresses inappropriately?

My girlfriend's new roommate is her friend from college, and they're very close to each other. We're all 24 years old. Sometimes, when I go over to my gf's house, her roommate is dressed in very little clothing, sometimes she's wearing just underwear or she's in a sports bra and shorts. The most she wears is a tank top which is very thin, nothing beyond that. This is not just when the roommate is in her own room, it's also the case when she's in the kitchen, or the living room, or if we're all doing some common activity together.

I told my girlfriend that I found this very inappropriate and that it made things very awkward for me. My gf got very upset with me and told me that it's her house, and that she gets to dress however she wants, as long as she's comfortable. I understand that, but don't people change when they're expecting company or when there are guests in the house? For example, whenever my roommate has friends, family or his girlfriend over, I make sure that I'm dressed appropriately, if I come out of my room to meet them. I would never do that in just my boxers or briefs or while just wearing undergarments like a vest.

My girlfriend didn't agree with any of this and is still pissed off with me. AITA here?

Lol then leave. You are the one who is uncomfortable. It's her place. Jesus, how entitled can you get?

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Pinecone Sample posted:

I(24f) met my gf(22f) through her mom(48f) whom I used to be intimate with......

Lol this will work out well I'm sure. I hope we get an update on it.

Edit: Disney dad is an idiot and can gently caress right off.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.
Since we are living in a world where there are serious problems with men and boundaries, maybe not everyone likes that idea being so normalized?

People can have loving relationships where that can happen, but some people don't want to be put in that position, and don't know how to say they don't like it as the partner is just "trying to be sexy", etc.

Also, for people who read this thread daily, seriously, why would you assume that this guy is not a creep, have you not actually read any of the stories?

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Straight White Shark posted:

topical!
My [27F] sister [30F] said something concerning to me

This right here is something I'm just finally coming to terms with in my life. I had a neighbor who was an HR person for a larger international company. She was always very talkative, so we had a friendly enough relationship, until she started to talk about how much she hates Somalis. The day it came to a head is when she told me she turned a guy down for a job who even she said was a great fit, because she doesn't trust him, because he is Somali. It's always great when you know someone did something that is straight up illegal, yet there will be no repercussion for it, it just really makes sure your faith in humanity takes a real dive.

What I think people should do is call it out. When you hear it, stop being polite, tell them it is racist, tell them it is homophobic, etc. Let them know that they are being terrible. If they don't like it, guess what, you don't need to talk to them, you owe nothing to anyone but yourself. Maybe when the person has been ostracized by their friends and family they will consider looking at themselves as the problem.

All this is to say, let your mental health be your #1 priority, and stressing and fretting about your terrible family/friends can be solved easily by telling them to gently caress off.

Oh and when someone lets you know their beliefs in a nice hushed tone, that's cause they know that it's wrong deep down, but just can't help being terrible.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Pinecone Sample posted:

Update: Husband loves to suck guys in public toilets

Pretty loving telling how terrible reddit is when the person who was literally being cheated on, who has multiple kids, is telling them to gently caress off with the gay shaming.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Power Khan posted:

Parents put a child lock on my (22M) laptop
My parents were always a bit overbearing or strict growing up. Nothing so ridiculously out of the ordinary. They are pretty religious and overprotective but it's not like I wasnt allowed to leave the house or anything. That being said, I had a good relationship with them.

We would have arguments and disagreements a lot but it never truly hurt our overall relationship.

And what a relationship it was. Boy, I hope you can get back to it soon, it sounds like a great time.

EDIT: Though I know it just sounds bad, I get what they're saying, but when you say that as a positive you were allowed to leave the house, great, one step above kidnapping victim.

ScentOfAnOtaku fucked around with this message at 19:59 on Nov 9, 2019

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Power Khan posted:

Just Found Out My (27M) Fiancé’s (27F) Ex Boyfriend (53M) Was Married and Almost Twice Our Age.


This one sure takes some turns. Don't know what to think about it either.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

DemoneeHo posted:

And then there's this comment from OP


I guess these comments explain why the SIL hates the family

Lol just had to leave the trump loving dad stuff out, wonder why?

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for marrying a man who is technically , my stepbrother , and as a result , hurting our parents?

Their stepmom and father are trash people, and people who agree with them are also trash people. They should stop talking to them, and not dealing with their trash.

Why keep people around who just make you feel bad, how does that help anyone?

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

HazCat posted:

Car culture is insane, and the weird obsession with driving as a benchmark for adulthood is incredibly stupid.

This right here is the exactly it.

I want less cars on the road, and there are plenty of people who do not need a car who drive one.

Also, plenty of idiots get a license and should never be allowed to drive a car. I'd rather they not be on the road.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my dad "I don't owe you anything" and not letting him meet his grandchild?

Please, even for just the sake of the kid, I hope they never talk to this man again.

Tell all the people on Facebook to mind their own loving business, or even better, get the gently caress off of Facebook, like every person in the world should.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.
^^^^^^ This should happen more often. Hold your terrible relatives accountable for being poo poo, don't be nice to them because they are family, they only care about themselves.

DrBouvenstein posted:

(FL) Hospital Security Guard Tried to Deny Me Access Because I Didn’t Smile

Just happened to find the update to this.

quote:

(UPDATE) (FL) Security Guard Tried to Deny Access for not Smiling
First of all, thank you so much to everyone who responding to my first post and gave me the courage to approach HR!!

Update: my sister (hospital physician) actually spoke to HR first. She went to them this morning (she was off yesterday) and then spoke to the head of the security team. I was asked to come into the hospital this morning to meet with hospital administration. My brother went in with me and corroborated my story. HR was appalled! They said that they’d heard rumors about this specific security guard but no one had ever escalated their complaints to administration. They brought in two more security guards who have worked with him to verify some of the rumors they’ve heard (apparently the guard in question has been caught lingering in front of the women’s restrooms on his breaks, and he denied a doctor’s wife entrance because she didn’t know the room number for the cafeteria where she was meeting her husband for lunch.) The final thing HR said to me was, “Today will be the last day you will see him. We do not support this type of behavior at our institution and he will not continue with us.”

At the end, the HR director told me that it is SO IMPORTANT to report inappropriate behavior. She said that so many times people will gossip amongst themselves about situations but no one will actually take it up with administration, which subsequently makes HR’s job more difficult to complete because then they don’t know about happenings within the organization.

Again, thank you thank you thank you!!

ScentOfAnOtaku fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Nov 27, 2019

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Power Khan posted:

AITA for how I handled catching my roommate's friend stealing my stuff?
I got a message from a guy saying that he recognized the girl, he told me her name and asked me if I could take down the picture in exchange for having my stuff returned, it was causing a lot of drama and embarrassment. The girl was going through a rough time and was sorry.

I said yeah, I'd take it down as soon as my things were returned.

He asked if I could sooner and I said sorry but no.

Then my roommate called me, mad I didn't wait for her to identify her friend quietly, because it was honestly tearing their social circle apart, having me put this up so public. She also was mad because she knew my bags were fake but I was letting everyone believe that this was about authentic bags which are worth a huge amount more.

If she's going through a rough time, why not lend her some money, and not make excuses for her stealing?

Why the hell would it matter to the social circle if it's fake or not? That's just the funny icing for us in that they aren't worth much.

Move out, cause that relationship with the roommate is done.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Pinecone Sample posted:

WIBTA if I sent my ex an email warning her about changing our son's appearances and calling her out on lying?

What in the hell is wrong with people? Only thing I can think is that this person is bald and projecting.

Heaven forbid a child get the haircut they want.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Lucrece posted:

A lovely snipe. Have this story as penance...

Should i confess my interest/crush to a man when I am in a relationship? Please read its deep,and very important.

Someone needs to explain to this person that cheating is like an elevator...

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

muscles like this! posted:

The brother was bad but the OP probably should have been up front about the whole "going back home" part.

Why?

Especially after the brother fessed up to it, at that point it's all on him. You don't like how anything that night went? Blame the person who did it, not the person who was immediately put in a terrible position the second the door was opened.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Transmogrifier posted:

AITA for telling my friend she got an STD from sleeping around?

Like three weeks ago she called me crying to take her to the clinic because she had painful itchy blisters on her groin, turned out to be herpes. I did it without judging her at the time

Oh I'm sure you did, I bet there wasn't one ounce of judgment at all.

Definitely went a bit far on the callout, but I am also tired of people spouting off insults as just joking around, especially when you focus it on something stupid like if you date enough. What's enough? Should I be Zack Morris and date everyone, but also kinda have a steady girlfriend? Should I just look for the one? It's almost as if everyone has their own feelings.

ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Licarn posted:

AITA for giving my stepdaughter candy for Christmas but consciously choosing not to give any to my stepson?
James’s doctor has advised me to change up his diet and portion sizes because he often complains of being tired/ sluggish and the doc would like him to lose some lbs, so I try and stay away from giving James candy and empty calories.

I have a stepdad, never knew my real father, so that would change some of the dynamic, but I just call him dad, to me that's what he is. Even when I hate him, he will always be my father.

That said, that line right there makes me very suspicious about this. I don't think this person is as nice and thoughtful as they think they are, but that's just my read.

If they knew they were going to trade up anyway, just give the same things, and no one would have to think, "I got no candy, they must think I'm fat".

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ScentOfAnOtaku
Aug 25, 2006

I have no control, I just keep eating, and eating.

Cockmaster posted:

AITA for absolutely refusing to pay my ex girlfriend and her child after I came into money?


How could anyone rationally argue that he would have any duty of care towards a woman who'd betray him like that?

You know, they never once say if the kid is theirs or not.

Wonder if that's on purpose?

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