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Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Clark Nova posted:

It really comes down to whether you prefer New Mexico purity blowjobs or free blowjobs

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Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky
AITAH my 3 month old baby died and I told my in-laws to F**k off(

quote:

This is the first time I have ever posted, but I am an avid fan of Reddit. My 3 month old baby girl died suddenly (crib death) 2 weeks ago. My husband and I are in a fog. Our first child. While our friends and my family (parents, cousins, siblings, their partners, etc) have been phenomenal, my husband’s family has been a nightmare. Everyone around us has given us space but while making sure our toilet is clean, try to get us to eat/sleep. There have been people with us around the clock in a quiet, non invasive and respectful way. Except... my in laws. My MIL has taken every opportunity to show her grief very dramatically and imo, for show. My husband’s 2 sisters have allowed their children (4 in total- all under 7) to run around, yell and distract. My BIL and FIL have been useless. My family and I are of SE Asian decent, and my husband is white. He has supported the choice to follow Buddhist traditions (alter, incense, 3 day mourning, cremation, monk chanting). My sister and brother explained all aspects of the traditions to my in-laws and asked that they please not wear black or red- white is preferred. That is all which was asked of them. Basically, none wore white, my MIL wore black with a red silk blouse, they all complained about the incense, chanting etc. finally, I caught my sister in law rolling her eyes with some of my husband’s family members while my parents were adding flowers, fruits to our daughter’s alter while monk was chanting. After nearly a week of this behavior, my siblings had enough and asked them to stop behaving so disrespectfully. My MIL started yelling at them and then sobbing. At the moment, my husband was in another room. I lost it. I ran over to them all, screamed at them to F* off and to get out of my house. I understand they are grieving, but they made the most horrible event in our lives even worse. Despite the fact I want to stop breathing and can’t leave the house, I am actually worried that I did an awful thing. My husband is not mad, my family and friends support me but my in-laws are furious at me. Did I cross a line? Thank you.

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky
My (F/25) boyfriend (M/24) has a small penis and I can’t deal with it. Am I shallow?

quote:

My bf and I are together for about a year now. He’s everything I like in a man: smart, funny, athletic, sweet and has good social skills. But, as you can read in the title, his penis is small. Like really small. Of course I haven’t measured it, but to me it seems like a micropenis.

I only had a few sex partners before him, and looking back they were all well-endowed. Or at least average sized. I never realised how it would be to have sex with someone that is less fortunate. But when my bf and I had sex for the first time - a few months after we met - I was shocked. The setting was really romantic and everything seemed perfect for our first time together. But from the moment I felt in his pants, I couldn’t enjoy it. On top of it he whispered “you make me so hard” and I didn’t even realise it was fully erect yet. I went numb and we did have sex, but I didn’t feel anything. I felt extremely sad, because he really tried to make it a special first time, but I just couldn’t enjoy it. I faked my pleasure out of pity.

After this first time I told myself to man up. So I had sex with him on a regular basis, only to find out that it bothered me more and more. He’s good in oral and ok’ish with his fingers, but the size of his penis is a let down everytime. It doesn’t get me in the mood, and the thought of faking pleasure makes me nervous. I also really hate going down on him. Trying to avoid that as much as possible.

I still don’t want to give up the relationship though, cause as I told I think he’s the perfect guy for me. If it isn’t for the sex, we have so much fun and I feel definitely a romantic connection (so being just friends would not be the solution). If only he had an average sized dick, I would be so so happy. Doesn’t have to be big, but just big enough that it could turn me on. He now starts to notice that I’m avoiding sex, cause he made a comment recently about my low libido.

I have no idea how to tell him what’s bothering me though. I don’t have the feeling it’s a problem for him. He never said something about it at least. I did a bit of research online, and everywhere I read that it’s absolutely NOT ok to bring this issue up. But what do I do then? Is there even anything I can do? Something that doesn’t include toys, cause I’m not into that.

Sorry if there are grammar mistakes, English isn’t my native language.

quote:

If you were shallow a small penis would fit perfectly

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Twelve Batmans posted:

"Pedophile village? Sorry ma'am, this is Epheboville."

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

cumshitter posted:

*Girlfriend catches her BF watching porn*

Babe, are you-

No I'm just watching e-sports!! let's play

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Twelve Batmans posted:

It's perfectly acceptable to coach them in knowledge of such things, especially to be wary of hyper-religious people who almost always turn out to be complete shitheads.

Especially hyper religious atheists.

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Pinecone Sample posted:

tired: my wife asking, "would you still love me if I got fat?"

wired: my wife asking, "would you still love me if I got fat but I was unable to control or recall how I got fat because the life-saving medication made me do it in a blackout?"

broke: husband has a feeder fetish

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Khazar-khum posted:

What's the tattoo?

It's not even a swastika, just a tasteful iron cross!

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

DemoneeHo posted:

Out of curiosity, I looked at op's post history and saw she had another update after that. The body of the post was deleted, probably for legal purposes, but here's some tidbits in the comments:

Aww, it's to old for removeddit to have it cached.

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky
Spending a month with a lying sack of poo poo so you can get one over on him isn't something I associate with mental stability. Sure, it's wonderful that she didn't bury him in the forest after an extensive test of her knife collection, but spending that much time and effort on your soon to be ex seems self-damaging to me. I'm not saying "The best way to get over someone is to get over someone" and other empty platitudes like that, but staying with someone like that, presumably having sex and faking intimacy for a month, just to get back at them doesn't seem healthy. Just knee him in the balls and sleep with his dad like a normal person.

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

CheesyDog posted:

There should be a service that connects the men with small dicks and the couples who want mfm threesomes

Small Bulls, for when your husband feels bad and you want to make him feel better.

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Can anyone remember the site which lets you see deleted reddit posts?

I've found a couple of good ones in r/legaladvice which have almost every single post deleted.

Add move to the reddit url and it'll show you removed and deleted posts, eg. removeddit,com/blah

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Beachcomber posted:

An unreciprocated blowjob is the truest sign of devotion. No it doesn't work the other way.

75% of women enjoy anal when done properly.

Don't listen to your mom, she sucks.

Nothing is as empowering as covering your mans expenses.

Is an FFM threesome a good way to spice it up in the bedroom? More likely than you think

The only way to ensure the apartment is up to your standards is to clean it yourself!

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Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

HIJK posted:

Break up with your bf if he plays Fallout 76

If his standards are low enough to play Fallout 76, well....

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