/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for telling my daughter that she looks like a prostitute?

I dunno I feel like if every woman in your life is telling you you're a loving rear end in a top hat and you get banned off reddit, known weirdo-cavern, for being too much of a loving weirdo maybe... just maybe, you're an rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2019 13:34

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 06:59

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Jack Trades posted:

What does it take for QuarkJets to go the way of Pick? Asking for a friend.

/r/relationships thread, cumshitter only edition should be a backer reward.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 21:46

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Biplane posted:

135 thousand dollars would literally solve every single problem currently haunting me in this cursed life Im forced to endure.

thirty thousand take it or leave it.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 21:53

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Sir DonkeyPunch posted:

this post doesn't do a great job of explaining why she doesn't want the friend around

I think the early bits about her being weird and erratic at a formative point in their lives are damning enough. Its like a weird wine aunt only way more everpresent and not related??

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 21:57

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Sir DonkeyPunch posted:

i guess, though that doesn't seem like enough to crack that can of worms with her mother though. Like, this person is going to show up, and if it's sans invitation, a scene will be made. Unless wineaunt waves a gun around or tries to grope the groomsmen, who cares if she's attempting to attach herself to her mom's hip.

I get kinda what you're saying but also I think its reasonable to be defensive over your wedding. Its stressful enough without having to compromise with this fuckin' rando whose only role in your memories is 'babysitter who made me feel uncomfortable' and like sure she could just ~let it go~ but forced compromises at a wedding are often a bad omen

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:09

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Yeah like, it feels like there's more its just so long and so weird and so old that its not exactly easy to do a writeup.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:12

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

razorrozar posted:

shut up about the goddamn 135k already jesus christ

AITA for losing my patience with a friend when she's OTT upset over a movie character?

i haven't seen Rise of Skywalker yet but i still have a pretty good idea what this is about

Is this even a parasocial relationship? People going fuckin' ape-poo poo over fictional characters is an epidemic recently.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:31

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

razorrozar posted:

AITA for telling my brother he stinks?

no lmao. hes twenty and smells like poo poo. loving blast him with a hose like a dog till he learns to wash he goddamn rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:35

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

razorrozar posted:

AITA for calling someone the 'CEO of white girls'?

calling anyone a CEO is an insult of the highest order.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:43

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

mind the walrus posted:

It is a douchey, banal drone worker kind-of joke but like... you have to pick your battles before getting in front of some cubicle jockey and picking a fight over it

You'd think that'd be an easy fight but they've got nothing to lose and they fight like it.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:45

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Sagebrush posted:

i remember once when i was a kid i went over to a friend's house with my dad. they had an older son, maybe about 22, who had been into heroin and a bunch of other bad stuff and was living at home as they tried to get him back on track. he was getting into "filmmaking" (had a camcorder) so he wanted to show us his movie on his vcr.

after we left his room, i recall asking my father
"dad? why does his room smell like...like...um..."
"like a large animal?"
"yeah! like a...like a barn with cows"
"i'd say more like a barn with pigs."

and that particular description of extremely dirty human smell as "like a large animal" was so befitting that it's stuck with me ever since

I knew two smelly people, one always had a weird scent I'd describe as 'unwashed chlorine', smoking and hippie poo poo made him smell vaguely chemical the other was a fat moron who smelled just like that story, part man, part mold. One is now an an-cap and the other became a Q-anon.

The moral of this story is don't make friends with people who play D&D

# ¿ Dec 30, 2019 22:50

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

kangaroo makes pretty good jerky, the rest of that poo poo is fuuuuucccckkkeedd

Honestly I'd understand meatdad better if he was just a straight up cannibal.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 17:31

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Captain Yossarian posted:

He is absolutely also a cannibal there is literally nothing else that the "unmentioned" could be lol

honestly I'd have more respect for the dude if he just skipped the animals and went straight to the hard stuff.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 17:48

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Also: Have you considered bodyslamming that racist child through a table like a loving wrestler?

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 17:53

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

thats some real advice for reddit tho.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 18:02

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Mr. Lobe posted:

if you mean racist nephew advice person, I believe that is from an advice column.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 18:07

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

"Nothing satisfies! I've tried it all... Nothing cures this interminable hunger."

you havn't tried everything meatdad, you havn't...

Meatdad gazes at his own quivering hand... coursing with the flesh he had consumed... all of it, in one.

"...I can't..."

you MUST

# ¿ Dec 31, 2019 19:55

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to give "back" a gift that my boyfriend's daughter (13) had already refused to accept?

My boyfriend (37M) has two daughters. A 10 year old and a 13 year old. We've been dating for about 3 years now. I get along well with the younger daughter and she and I'm kind of like a big sister/auntie to her. The older daughter does not like me and makes it clear that she would rather her father not date me (or anyone else from what I gather).

Boyfriend and his ex share custody and this year, since my boyfriend had them for Christmas, I got them both presents (got them both necklaces). 10 year old was very excited and happy with her gift. 13 year old got huffy and said she didn't want anything from me and refused to "accept" the gift. 10 year old also opened 13 year old's gift after she refused to accept it and I could tell that she did like what I'd got her. I decided to keep it for myself.

Fast forward to today, 13 year old calls and she wants the necklace. She didn't apologise for her rude behaviour from before or anything (which I honestly don't care too much about). She asked me to give it to her since it's "hers" and "you already bought it". I told her that it wasn't hers since she refused to accept the gift and that I'm not going to give it "back" to her. She got upset and complained to my boyfriend who told her it was up to me whether or not I wanted to give her the gift anymore.

Am I being too harsh on her? My sister thinks I'm just making my own life more difficult by not just giving it to her. Is it petty of me? AITA for refusing to give a gift that I did buy for her?

oof complicated, I'd probably give it too her just because its leverage in a war you didn't really ask for with a huffy little shitbag whose definitely screwed and only going to get worse.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2020 23:23

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Thats the normal world tho. People who can't believe in something greater than themselves won't believe in socialism either.

Just wanna loop back to explain that you are a loving imbecile

# ¿ Jan 2, 2020 18:25

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

its like minecraft right? If you put the villagers together soon there will baby!!

# ¿ Jan 2, 2020 18:53

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA? I got mad because my sister bailed on my wedding. It's in 2 days and she's the Maid of Honour.

An entire family of the worst people.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2020 19:01

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

zakharov posted:

What the hell

it was acceptable in the europe. It was acceptable at the time.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2020 18:22

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DaveWoo posted:

AITA for telling my GF to gently caress off trying to change me?

The snoring's bad enough, but not brushing his teeth regularly? Eugh.

wow a 21 year old adult, huh?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2020 19:31

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [21F] boyfriend [23M] gets my attention when he does disturbing things in video games.

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and he�s recently gotten into this game called The Division.

You don�t need to know a lot about the game except for that there�s lifelike stray dogs that roam around the city. They don�t attack you or anyone on your team, they just roam around and eat stuff off of the ground and things of that nature.

Well, every time he finds a stray dog in The Division, he gets my attention and makes me look up and he shoots the dog. He doesn�t do it super consistently because he knows I�ll catch on if he did it all the time, but even though it�s fiction, it just makes me sad�and he knows it makes me sad, but he thinks it�s hilarious.

I�ve asked him to stop a couple of times and he keeps doing it. I guess I�m just wondering: what can I say or do to actually get him to cut this out? It disturbs me that he has fun doing things like this.

TL;DR - My boyfriend gets my attention every time he kills a dog in a video game just because he thinks it�s funny.

I mean, obviously boyfriend jerk since 'No I do not like it' 'ok but me do it' BUT

this is pathetic right? like the original definition of pathetic. This is the same pathological roots as the kylo ren people. Who gives a poo poo about a digital rear end dog??

# ¿ Jan 4, 2020 04:27

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Nooooouuuu! Douuuuuun't!! :cry:

# ¿ Jan 4, 2020 05:15

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Refusing To Go On The Last Family Vacation?

THIS TIME its important you attend!!

# ¿ Jan 6, 2020 01:37

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Ya gotta be a real heel to pay for feet pics, nyuck nyuck nyuck.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2020 01:15

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

datajugend posted:

Its off to the lasagna factory for you grandma

This made me laugh like a loving supervillain

# ¿ Jan 7, 2020 17:01

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Xenocides posted:

Internet friends difficult over starwars

Do you know what YOUR child is doing right now?

This is what I will mean when I say I hope my kid doesn't fall in with a bad crowd.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2020 04:42

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Serephina posted:

Ooh, that's one spicy hypothetical conversation to ruin your marriage!

WIBTA for getting an abortion after my husband dies?

Oh. That's no hypothetical! Poor woman.

hoooooooooooooly gently caress.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2020 08:57

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Sjs00 posted:

I know a woman who loves kids and is a nanny and can confirm she's beautiful and intensely Christian

oof. May as well throw it away the whole thing is ruined.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2020 01:58

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

we're supposed to pretend its real and not some fat gently caress's daydream.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2020 11:46

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

welcome to hell posted:

Their entire post history is horrible but I'll just post one title:

Where are the best places to bait creepy men (self.Rapekink)

# ¿ Jan 9, 2020 13:46

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

pfft, fuckin' narc.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 03:44

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

this guys an ingrate dipshit

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 04:12

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Oh the AGONY of my mothers birthday, now a girl is doing my chores that I did not do for myself, for me, UNINVITED no less!! Why must everyone be so inconsiderate and CRU-EL!!

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 04:18

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 06:59

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

wouldnt we call this stalker behavior if it was a guy

Eh, different dynamic. Plus this dude sounds like a reddit issue weenie so I feel less charitable.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 04:25

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