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Blue Train posted:Man I dunno I was at the park with my son and his mom and some random rear end woman came up to me saying her daughter said I pinched her and calling me a molestor and poo poo until I called my son and his mom over, then she just kind of wandered off you cockblocked a feminist. if you opened your mouth to yell about your innocense she'd stab her eggs into your brain with her strapon. thats hella rude dude feminists need willing slavemeat to support their chittering young. dont be a clamjammer. edit- wow.wWOW. everyone calling me sexist obviously doesnt understand the years i spend studying colonies of vespid feminists in dracula's lunar crater. im the worlds leading expert on social dynamics and if you continue to make trouble for me you will never present at the greater new england social dynamics conference ever again.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:26
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Clark Nova posted:Tell the fiance so he can prep the bull, while sobbing.
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Apr 12, 2017 19:08
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:All she needed to do was say "I'm not comfortable with saying grace right now" or the like. She had absolutely zero reason to denigrate their religious beliefs. Its 100% okay to denigrate Catholics because they're part of the lunar plot to unseat the moral authority of Christ.
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Apr 13, 2017 13:44
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Zzulu posted:we dont do prayers at dinner in this country because we're not medieval loving villagers or whatever lmao at this basic rear end baka gaijin who doesnt salute his ancestors with a perfunctory Itadakimasu before eating his breakfast goku.
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Apr 13, 2017 15:26
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hey, HEY. Poe is a LOVELY human being and you WILL NOT insult her via proxy. She played a set at my hometown and we got boneless bbq wings after and she helped me chase down varmints in a jeep. ALSO her label hosed her over in the HUGEST way and a predatory lawyer jackass in her life loaned her a bunch of money and stole her music so only after A LITERAL DECADE has she started making music again. Don't be mean or you'll scare her off.
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Apr 13, 2017 22:38
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Clark Nova posted:You'd probably make more money sperging out and going all moneyball about how much to overcharge for miller lite than you would by inventing the science of titty phrenology. howwww do you double blind survey male sexual preferences. did the models wear bags for a week. "okay now on THIS dance i want you to shake the LEFT titty only. ONLY the left. if i see ANY right titty shakeage it will upset the WHOLE model trains."
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Apr 14, 2017 14:35
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Vaginismus is caused by feminist chemtrails designed to trigger white genocide (69,420,000 upboats)
PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Apr 14, 2017 |
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Apr 14, 2017 15:26
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new phone who dis posted:i'm really mad about my exes and bring it up every chance i get. it's weird that the hindenberg of human sexuality that i am has more than one ex, but much of this world is shrouded in mystery and diesel exhaust.
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Apr 18, 2017 15:53
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new phone who dis posted:You're just mad you got stuck with a wife and a tiny making GBS threads machine. my copromagus is full sized, and not robotic in the least. unemployment is doing a number on your memory, hombre.
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Apr 18, 2017 16:01
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They did some nude modeling together while they were studying abroad in Finland.
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Apr 18, 2017 18:36
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Maybe the ancestral rape wasn't so bad. Maybe the grandfather was Noah and we're all figments of a dream being had by some lemur, watching Noah's granddaughters work his wrinkly shaft. edit: I've been sent back from the future to prevent a 300 page derail to say, once and for all, that YES lemurs dream, YES their dreams frequently involve biblical allegory, NO that offers NO PROTECTION from ANY kind of Freddie Kreuger style Nightmare Incursions. PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Apr 19, 2017 |
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Apr 19, 2017 18:05
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Mirthless posted:Cons of his clowning career: hello i have Relevant Information: 1) all the Pro Scary Clowns I know are also heavy on the renfaire/con circuit for summer gigs, many of them live in colony-vans that truck south during the winter. 2) there are basically two classes of fiscal clowns, one is the Sub ICP spraypainted meth-hobos largely responsible for the Spooky Clown Sightings. the OTHER group has fuckin Cirque Du Solei money and basically act as hired entertainment for week long drug orgies held by the decadent rich. 3) well yeah clowns are awful. Anyway there's a dude I know called Dollar Jim cuz for a dollar he'll punch anyone you know. His favorite thing is to get high school kids to give him beer cuz he has a trick where he does pullups with most of the bottle shoved into his mouth. He was lost in the woods from one Halloween Hootenanny dressed like a clown and spooked a whole tribe of cub scouts. AFAIK he was the Alpha Clown. Clown Zero. He Whom Started the Fear.
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Apr 19, 2017 19:59
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chernobyl kinsman posted:how....many professional scary clowns do you know 3, which is a tiny fraction of the professional clowns i know. worth noting that i know an equal number of Scary and Sexy clowns. Sexy clown livestreams fare WAY better, probably because my city is a Hellmouth for Juggalos. edit: these venn diagrams do not intersect in any way. none of the scary clowns are the least bit sexy, THOUGH the sexy clowns are terrifying, in their own way. edit edit: one sexy clown won some kind of award for her pro nude aerial silks skills with a routine set to some Skinny Puppy b-sides so, uh, interperate as you will.
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Apr 19, 2017 20:49
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Bonzo posted:I worked with a guy that was a "Christian Clown" on the weekends. the industry term is Pope, thanks.
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Apr 19, 2017 21:35
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I only make love to my wife when my infant child and the beetles are in the room with us. Beetles are inherently atrocious lover and i won't let my inescapably caucasoid lovechild grow up not knowing how to slang dick like a short order cook at a gently caress buffet.
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Apr 20, 2017 17:13
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YeahTubaMike posted:why did he think even for one second that this would be appropriate *mirthless voice* Sharing in-jokes at the expense of outsiders is a fast way to build in-group solidarity. In this case, the dad is trying to bridge a troubled relationship by drawing attention to some stonkin' great titties. "How'd you like to see those funbags?" Is probably how HIS dad expressed it to him, and even though consciously he knows what he's doing is wrong, he finds himself in the position of Dudejoke Arbiter, where he can hand down ancestral misogyny to the next generation.
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Apr 21, 2017 14:50
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i say this because it happened to me. as a young lad my crazy uncle took me to strip clubs and taught me how to drive stick after he got tanked on ale and crabcakes. he worked as a government spy for the IRS and used to tell war stories to the strippers he'd pick up. eventually my dad, who was a pro weight lifter until he hernia'd so bad all his insides fell out, caught wind of how many strippers had given 15 year old me handies and punched my uncle so bad his face caved in like a november pumpkin. there are a lot of reasons to not ever have kids, basically. edit- i lied about my age to my uncle and the strippers, which worked out because i had the beard of a grizzled pershmerga hardass by 14. photos of me from the age look like i taped a racist wig to my neck
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Apr 21, 2017 15:20
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I was with a librarian from Oxford for a while and her main thing, like the #1 thing that got her cranked more than anything, was holding my wan while I peed. Every time. EVERY TIME. We would be studying or doing homework and I'd hop up to use the bathroom and just feel her eyes BORING through the back of my skull. Like a god drat cat prowling outside the door. Eventually I learned to fake IBS and started peeing sitting down but she caught wind of that and got hurt & eventually I said gently caress it & rolled with it such that we'd spend entire weekends in cycles of loving -> post gently caress pissing -> enthusiastic post-piss loving. it took me like 4 months with my wife to figure out that wasn't her thing & I was just a weirdo encouraging a piss fetish neither she nor i really had. librarians will gently caress you up man, don't gently caress librarians if you cant handle it. god drat.
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Apr 23, 2017 22:24
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Tiny Deer posted:Lifehack: don't keep things in your oven and avoid the issue altogether like a non-hoarder. *posted psychically from my featureless cube floating above the ceaseless expanse of nothing at the heart of entropy* don't own an oven. don't own anything at all. spurn the material plane. open your root chakra with vigorous soul-plugging.
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Apr 23, 2017 23:41
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Rough Lobster posted:Hahaha why do you people keep outing yourselves as weird porn watchers? the trick is to have a search history SO terrifying, SO disturbing, that if it were leaked to the social pages, no one would believe it was you. In order to avoid the corporate-techno-nazi future, you must watch nothing but BBC Hypno, Sissy Subversion, and Forced Gay Mindfuck styles.
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Apr 24, 2017 13:27
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*I emerge from the Pornodome preternaturally slick with lubricants, the sounds of megaporn shattering the stillness of the sensory deprivation tank. Stacks of impossible porn surround the dome, hand-scrawled titles like SISSY FORCED SUCK- 3 HOURS, PROSTATE GENTRIFYER 2 HOUR, ASSBOI FUCKMEAT TRAINING #6-9, BBC MASTER HYPNOSIS (hatsune miku remix). A thick vapor of nitrous poppers flows out past my ankles* The rear end is but a door, gender is but a window. I'll be back!
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Apr 24, 2017 16:37
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boner confessor posted:i just want white northerners to stop loving moving here Bwahahaha! NEVER! Build yourself a white nationalist compound over it, why don'cha? Then you'll be able to kiss your guns in peace, while me and the rest of the Yankees put vinegar in your BBQ sauce.
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Apr 25, 2017 21:06
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Blotto_Otter posted:Please feel free to move to North Carolina, those idiot fuckers already think vinegar is BBQ sauce so there's no way to gently caress that place up any worse than it already is I would but I'm kind of busy trying to reclaim Burlington VT from tourists. I'm loading New Yorkers into a giant catapult and launching them into Lake Champlain but they don't drown because poo poo floats.
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Apr 25, 2017 21:22
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:all the twisty poo poo our spines do is because we sort of jury-rigged bipedalism off a quadruped frame (where the back is more like an arch) and it is not how a halfway intelligent engineer would design things, no. The "modern lifestyle" doesn't have a ton to do with it, except in that now you can just keep on being alive for decades after a serious injury. *i adjust my glasses all dramatic as a shitton of cherry petals blast the gently caress out of my rear end* ahem, ACTUALLY, scars on ancient skeletons indicate that ill or enfeebled members of most protohuman tribes were well cared for by other members of the tribe. Even individuals with mental or physical damage that would have made them "dead weight" socially speaking lived decades after their encripplement, because "loving thy neighbor" is a loving superpower and altruism is the ONLY REASON humans SURVIVE ANYTHING. plus neanderthals ate flowers for its medicinal benefits. but you won't learn that in Honkey College, no sir.
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Apr 26, 2017 17:27
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just LMAO at any man who doesn't exploit capitalism's inherent hirearchies to pit their friends against each other in a battle for gossip and beachfront vacations. LMAO I say!
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Apr 26, 2017 18:32
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new phone who dis posted:No dudes I know seriously respect me enough to blow me.
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Apr 26, 2017 18:49
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Ensign Expendable posted:Caricatures of a penis in a suit and top hat walking around on its own were all the rage in 19th century St Petersburg. Haha, yeah! They're called Стройный мужчина.
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Apr 26, 2017 18:57
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i knew a kid named DICK KING JUNIOR and he was so hapless and goofy that i started calling him FRED and it stuck so much. when i went to his house to help him delete anime porn popups from his computer i heard his parents calling him FRED condescendingly (he was hapless, which means he had no haps) i felt bad for him. then he voted for trump years later and i threw him into a lake
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Apr 26, 2017 20:45
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:Totally full of it i was & know jackass bouncers at lovely bars and nah eventually you get inured to scenes of violence and all that really does it anymore is watching a jackass get the trouble he looked for. Also OP admits to being on the spectrum, and everyone knows the Indigo never lie.
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Apr 27, 2017 02:41
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I dated one bogwitch who could only tolerate vaginal rodgering every 2-3 days because the intensity of her orgasms would throw her back out of alignment. "objectively better" my rear end. Some things are worth the effort. edit: i'm not bragging, her orgasms were that strong with or without my involvement. we were neighbors and she masturbated so good she hosed up her neck and started yelling for help, that's how we met. PHIZ KALIFA fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Apr 27, 2017 |
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Apr 27, 2017 14:25
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Really looking forward to this next tangent on divorce and alimony so we can learn which Trump avatars copy and paste whole ideologies from MRA blogs.
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Apr 27, 2017 15:58
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My mother forebade the eating of pimento-stuffed olives because she considered them Sinful for their Representation of the Sphincter.
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Apr 27, 2017 22:17
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If any badass muscly feminist wants to string me up and go 30 minutes in the octagon on my family jewels that is A-OK with me. in order to make the 'jewels more accessible i'll dress up like a sexy french maid with an enormously ruffled skirt. that way i will be aerodynamic.
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Apr 28, 2017 16:43
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putrid aidsman posted:a subreddit for posting cute pictures of pets. what could go wrong??? oh no i read the comments. oh no i'm going to go hug my foolbaby and nuzzle him till he's annoyed.
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Apr 28, 2017 20:33
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the key to all human relationships is it's easier to make other people happy than it is yourself. Economics of scale. Me and the wife could be trapped in a box & still happy cuz we laugh when we fart and then the box fills with gas and we die giggling edit- haahahahahah hjoylk gently caress i just remembered two of my exes both modeled for torrid at one point. they didn't know each other until after things with the later woman ended up, the first overheard the latter complaining about "some hobbit-looking lunatic with crazy-mad pussy game" and recognized me from the descriptions
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Apr 30, 2017 22:24
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ok just a heads up to all the het dudes legit confused why "i would gently caress her" is not a compliment: male sex appeal is not a metric that women are concerned about. "social acceptance" and "not being shamed 24/7" are." these concepts are not interchangable, even if they might seem so from your perspective
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Apr 30, 2017 22:29
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Sheen Sheen posted:I understand that. Her life, her existence, and all her accomplishments, just like anyone else's, has worth in and of itself that has nothing to do with how I or any other person, man or woman, gay or straight, perceives her. i mean yeah in this case it's an odd choice for a point to make when the subject was a model designed to physically appeal to sex drives but capitalism does weird things to human interaction
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Apr 30, 2017 22:47
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Everyone shut the gently caress up about Pick. There are real life women near you to go make miserable. Post more Reddit posts or I swear to Christ I will PM you obscene Harry Potter fanfic.
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May 1, 2017 00:03
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i didn't send elsa the good stuff because i knew they would turn on me in this thread, like some kind of even less handsome Internet Judas. now Axqu is promoted to Best Friend, and only Axqu will read of wizard boners and boi pussies. ten thousadn blessings for Axqu
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May 1, 2017 14:22
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Ouhei posted:It's just so odd that she somehow never pressed the issue enough before that point. "what do you mean one of the guys?!" seems like an obvious follow up to some of those times she was getting angry about it. I'm hoping we're missing how obvious the whole thing was, because the way she writes about it, it was a little odd how they'd essentially say Jamie was a guy, but were always coy about it too? It's just so weird to me that they had several conversations on the topic before it was made clear to her that Jamie was indeed a dude and even that was done in weird way (bf says nothing while getting him to come over to explain). Again, not taking her side at all, the whole thing just seems weird. A lot of liberals thing "being polite about gender" means "never mentioning it ever except coy wink-nudge acknowledgements of the status quo" and that's what this reads like.
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May 1, 2017 19:59
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