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Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Sagebrush posted:

science has shown that using baby talk with babies delays their development of verbal skills. talk to your babies like they're miniature adults and they will grow into that role.

this isn't true at all

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Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


baby talk for talking to babies is an important part of child language acquisition. we don't do it for no reason, it helps introduce babies to simple syntax and pronunciation.

when not talking to literal babies obviously yeah that's incredibly annoying

case in point:

My [24F] boyfriend [22M] baby talks at me a lot and it makes me feel like a dog. Am I in the wrong?

quote:

My boyfriend is a caring, wonderful human being and we've been together for about 8 months. Our relationship isn't perfect, but its always developing and improving despite some very rough twists and turns in our lives.

I feel so bad about this, but his baby talk kills me. It's like nails on a chalk board. When he's being what he calls "affectionate" he talks to me the same way that he talks to his mother's 10lb shitzu. His voice gets extremely high pitch and he tells me how I am "soooo darn cute!", and how he "loves me sooooooo muchy much!", and also just throws in odd, high pitched sounds.

I absolutely hate it beyond words. To me, he sounds like a raving lunatic and creepy. He does it in public, in private, over the phone, and in front of family. My sister brought it to my attention (without me having to say anything about it), saying that it sounds very disrespectful and degrading.

I knew he respects and loves me. It's just his way of being affectionate I guess, but it's embarrassing and makes me uncomfortable. I've talked to him about it multiple times now. Mostly he gets defensive and tells me that it's just how he expresses his love, but occasionally will take my cues to tone it down.

Am I bad for not liking it? I guess some women like baby talk and find it endearing... I'm just not one of these women. It's horrible, and I really just want it to stop. It's three a better way to talk to him about this that he won't get defensive and might actually hear me?

TL;DR - bf's baby talk makes me feel uncomfortable and disrespected. We've talked but he still does it. Am I bad for disliking it? How do I end it?

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


how is hitting up complete strangers to ask questions about their friend's relationship status less awkward than just asking the person out and maybe getting turned down?? jesus

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Pirate Radar posted:

That user’s name is Captain Seawhores 45m?

yes, what of it?

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Pinecone Sample posted:

Okay, bananas cost like a quarter, and they are not a proper name.

but what if i apply some wild assumptions to this story and say that it takes place in Australia in 2005 after a hurricane destroyed our banana stocks and they went up to $15 each, huh? what would you say then!!

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Barudak posted:

"She makes me watch Frozen every day and when I asked for a change she put on Pocahontas 2"

This is the work of a revenge master.

lol I did this to my dad for a while due to his crimes of a similar nature but then it started wearing at my soul

disney revenge is a double-edged sword

edit: actually i just remembered that what killed this plan was when I made him see that hugh jackman circus movie and I hated it but he, sick man that he is, loving loved it

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 12:34 on Nov 16, 2019

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


What do you do when your husband tells you to “get a life” but him and your son are your life...?

quote:

My(26F) husband(29M) wants more alone time. Me and our toddler son want more quality family time. My husband views when he’s home or when we’re running errands as family time. I guess thats true and I totally get needing alone time. However, I’m always alone and never alone at the same time. I have a love/hate relationship with the dynamic in our house. I love being a stay at home mom but it’s literally all I do. Stay at home and watch Netflix, clean, and care for our toddler. He always has the car for work so aside from an occasional walk to the market or park, I am always stuck at home. We also aren’t from the area so I haven’t really gotten a chance to make friends. When my husband gets home from work he eats dinner with us and then wants to do what he wants to do(like video games). At this time of day I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’ve already cleaned the whole house, done 20 toddler activities, watched 10 Netflix episodes. Like am I really supposed to just watch more Netflix??? By myself?? What am I even here for?

I’ve been trying to talk to him about this for a while and on multiple occasions he has basically told me to get a life. I know he’s in love with me and would be devastated if I left so that’s not really the answer I’m looking for. I know he needs more alone time, I just genuinely don’t know what to do with myself anymore or how to “get a life” when I have a toddler 24/7 and no friends or family in the area.

tl;dr My husband wants me to get a life so he he can have more alone time but I have no time or resources for that because my life is dedicated to him and my son.

:smith:

this poor woman

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [32M] asked my girlfriend [33F] of 12 years to marry me, and she said no, now she is being extremely distant and i am really confused

There are only two possibilities:

She cheated on him and the proposal triggered extreme guilt

She was diagnosed with a terminal illness and doesn't want to make the guy marry her when she's just going to die soon anyway

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Also if the expiration date guy had just dumped his girlfriend when she cheated the son would have easily gotten over it by now but now as an 18 year old he has to deal with the realisation that his dad absolutely hates his mother and stayed with her for him, which I'm sure will not affect him at all.

Dealing with huge betrayals by one of your parents as an adult due to actions they took to "protect" you as a child is absolutely not emotionally difficult, just ask me!


This is standard depressing teenage relationship so I'm not including the body but it introduces a fun new modern term:

I am [18F] struggling with instagram insecurity with my boyfriend [19M] of 10 months

What do you guys think is better? Instacurity? Insta-insecurity?

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Nov 17, 2019

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


r/relationships: this is about my human girlfriend

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


I am become a youtube

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


AITA for banning everyone who critiques our parenting from meeting our son?

quote:

My wife has minor anxiety and ocd. She has been on meds for a long time, but had to go off them when she got pregnant. None of the pregnancy safe meds worked for her. Pregnancy was really tough for her, she spent a lot of time reading about what foods and activities and such could harm a fetus, and she was basically paralyzed by fear that she was hurting our son whenever she did anything. It was really rough for her and she hated being pregnant. She had a mental breakdown and confessed to me that she didn’t want to breastfeed, she was feeling violated by the pregnancy and wanted her body back and to go back on her meds, but she was worried that our son would be terribly harmed if she didn’t. I talked her out of breastfeeding because the pros were far outweighed by the cons and she clearly didn’t want to do it.

After the delivery, I was using the bathroom and my father was in the room with my wife. A lactation consultant came in and asked my wife if she was ready to breastfeed. My wife said she wasn’t going to breastfeed and the lactation consultant started pushing and reminding her of the benefits of breastfeeding (which to my wife, was reminding her of all the ways she was harming our son by not breastfeeding.) my father also started pressuring her. She said she just kept saying “I don’t want to,” but was very close to capitulating because she was so tired and anxious and she just wanted it to end. I came back into the room and kicked out the lactation consultant and my dad for not listening to her when she said no.

Things got considerably better when we left the hospital. My wife was able to get back on her meds and was happy. This was the first part of the pregnancy/birth process that she actually got to enjoy. Her meds can take up to a month or two to have full effect, so the anxiety and ocd issues are still there, but much less.

The conflict comes in because I told my dad he couldn’t be around my wife and son for the time being because he participated in pressuring her when she said no. I’ve also run into an issue when sending pictures of the baby to family. A number of people wrote back nitpicking how my wife my holding the baby, what she was feeding him, the crib we’re using and so on. I stopped sending photos, but my wife and I talked and she said she was still feeling fixated on everything she was doing wrong as a mom, and these critiques would make it worse.

So I told everyone who critiqued our parenting that they can’t come meet the baby. They probably can in a month or so when my wife will be more secure mentally and as a mom, but until then, no one can come. Thus far, the only people who have met my son are my wife’s parents, her sister, and my mom.

A lot of my family is saying that this is unfair because they have good intentions and are just trying to help. My mom told me I should give them a chance, but I think the risk is too big. Am I the rear end in a top hat for banning them?

Good husband and dad looking out for his wife. Extremely lovely family. People are just so obsessed with correcting every little detail about mothering!

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wanting to cut off contact with a friend and the widow of a late friend because they're dating now?

That's like ten months after the husband passed away so I dunno, that's fine. And not that surprising, really, if this guy is a longtime friend of the husband, so he was important to the two of them and so they can share that grief. How long do they think this woman should've been in mourning before she's allowed to date again?

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


guys this argument just isn't working for me, can we open the relationship to new topics?

Open/poly relationship with my girlfriend(22) I am a guy (23)


So I am a 23 year old guy , last night my girlfriend mentioned she is confused in life and is having an identity crisis. We have been together almost 2 years and still loves me very much. She told me last night she wanted to try stuff with girls, I'm not really into guys so I said I would gently caress another girl but now she saying if I gently caress a girl she should be able to gently caress a guy. I'm not sure how I feel about her having sex with another guy. I am the type of person who is always down for a group activity but she didnt seem to want that at the moment.

If anyone can give an insight to this situation it would be appreicated.

Tldr; complicated situation

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Lucrece posted:

[FL] Can I make family member sell their house to me if it was part of the estate?

delicious

uh oh snipe here have some content:

Uploaded some porn to my cloud backup... found questionable content tried to delete it. Seems to be 'locked' don't know what to do.

quote:

I just wanted to start by saying I made a stupid mistake and I feel like I will pay for my actions. I don't really know what to do and I am writing this just so I can figure out how to deal with my family/friends/fiance. I feel sick, stupid and dumb and at this point figure I will just have to face consequences.

I have a popular could based drive, and been using it for a bit. I recently thought it might be a cool idea to back up some porn to it so I can have it on the go. I am an adult and at the time didn't think it would be a big deal. I don't really keep porn on my PC anymore and all I had was this old flashdrive i found from college. I used to browse image-boards and just save random pictures. I went on ahead and started uploading the pictures to the drive.

On second review of the files I realized I might have made a super bad mistake. The drive was over 10 years old at this point and I didn't feel comfortable with what I saw. I deleted the pictures and formatted the drive. I saw some had uploaded and just deleted those as well.

I went about my day and before going to bed I reviewed what files I had online. My heart sank, around 5 images could not be deleted and are in the cloud. I can rename them and move them, but I cannot delete them. I think they had been flagged and my account might have been reported.

The major issue I had was some of the girls looked like they are on the edge of 18 or under. I don't really know what to do at this point and I am pretty sure my account has been flagged.

I feel like all is lost right now, and I am just a super dumb guy and made a super dumb mistake. I already reviewed what I could be charged with in my state and it is possible 3-10 years in jail and 10,000 fine.

This is my fault and I should have never had those pictures in the first place, but don't know what I can do to protect myself and my family. Allot of people depend on me and I just feel like I let them all down if I have to go to jail... I know you guys can't fix this situation but if you have any advice I would appreciate it.

Thanks

TL:DR - I think I uploaded underage content and can't delete it and think that is on purpose. I am basically waiting for the FBI at this point :\.

compounding his initial mistake by immediately publishing what he did on the internet. a genius.

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Nov 30, 2019

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


really love learning about american culture from reddit, for example now I know that in american households it's perfectly normal to let your dogs piss and poo poo under the dining room table and leave it there for someone else to clean up

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Batterypowered7 posted:

But why so much derision for the white ibis? Why is it called a bin chicken?

they are named for their habitat

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


monkeytennis posted:

I actually do use this expression every day (and am English. Well, Yorkshire, the best bit of England).

You're saying that every single day, you see something that's just not cricket?

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


There's a whole pile of buried ledes in there, wow!

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Power Khan posted:

AITA for hiding the toilet paper, body wash and shampoo from my BF?
My BF does nothing around the house. Literally nothing. I've asked and asked for him to help out, even just taking the rubbish or mow the lawns, but he can't even manage that. Anyways I decided if I was going to be doing all the house upkeep, he could buy the cleaning supplies. But he won't even do that anymore. He either doesn't have time or forgets whenever he is at the shops.

So we have run out of toilet paper and body wash. I've just bought my self some and hid it my closet sneaking it to the bathroom when i need. I plan on doing the same with the shampoo. He's on day three using paper towels for TP and handwash for body wash. He hasn't mentioned anything about it.

Our relationship is great otherwise.

But, AITA for hiding supplies from my bf to try get my point across?

he is not going to get the point. he is going to continue using the handwash and paper towel until they run out, at which point he will start using tissues and tap water, and when the tissues run out he'll just start making GBS threads in the woods like the animal that he is

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Pinecone Sample posted:

Ashley Madison extortion

whenever I see ashley madison stuff I think about what hopeless, pathetic, spineless men must have signed up for it

including my dad lmao

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Barudak posted:

Hoooooooold up there pardner. Were gonna need this story if youre comfortable sharing it

lol let me think about it. it's pretty thread worthy. maybe i'll write it up as if it's an actual relationships poster.

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


please tell us the cat is ok

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


noooo do not start up this argument again!

here let me find something to try and distract you all

I (26M) am uncomfortable with my partner's (23M) career goals

(I don't want to go into details about what those career goals are so as to avoid debate about that instead...)

My partner and I met at university, and we started living together as just friends after I graduated in the summer of 2018. He's still studying, while I am on disability benefits. I started to get a crush on him after we'd been living together a while, and we started dating this last summer (so about 5 months ago).

His area of study and eventual career goals are related, and yes, they're something I knew about and was uncomfortable with before we got together, but at that time, I hadn't expected the relationship to get that serious. I realise the idea of casually dating someone you already live with may seem odd to some, but we're already pretty unconventional people, so we weren't too concerned.

Now, though, we're really in love, and he's started including me when he talks about the future. In a lot of ways, I'd like to think about a future together, too... except. Except his future involves the aforementioned career goals. I don't want to be the life partner of someone in that career. When he talks about it, I withdraw and get sad. I don't mean to, I just don't know how to respond.

I don't feel like I can bring it up because it's obviously not fair for me to want him to change something that he's been working towards since before we got together, but I also wish he wouldn't talk about his future in that career and me in the same sentence. I feel bad for not wanting to hear about a lot of his current work. I'm sure he'd be willing to avoid the subject around me if he knew, but it just doesn't seem like something he should have to do in a relationship!

But I also don't wanna break it off, at least not now... any opportunity for him to actually join his dream career is still years off, and at the moment it only gets mentioned every now and then, and otherwise we're really happy. We get on, we agree about most other things and are comfortable with our disagreements on others, we enjoy a lot of the same things and support each other in those we don't, we have great chemistry...

I just don't know what to do about this. Should I bring it up? I certainly wouldn't be doing so with any expectation for him to change his goals, that's obviously not my place, but does he have a right to know my feelings on the matter?

TL;DR 5 month relationship with a housemate is getting more serious than originally expected, and now I don't know whether to bring up that I was never personally comfortable with my partner's long-term career goals

what's the career

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


My Wife Dumped Me Because I’m Huge and Last Forever in Bed


quote:

After 26 years my wife kicked me out. She gave me many reasons, sex being one of them. Her biggest complaint: My penis is much too long and thick. It takes me over two hours to have reach climax, and I usually want it again right after. She used to tell me I should be a porn star, but she doesn’t seem to like my size and stamina anymore. Here’s my problem: I’ve been madly in love with her for over 26 years. When I fantasize, it’s about her. If I have a sexual dream, it’s always about her. I’m only sexually attracted to her. It wasn’t that way before I fell in love with her, but has been for over 26 years. She says she still loves me but has to be alone for now. I’m in my 50s, but women have always flirted with me, and that hasn’t changed. I have no interest in them. I don’t want to have relations with other women; I made lifelong vows. But it seems stupid to keep only fantasizing about a woman who doesn’t want me around. I try to incorporate other women into my fantasies, but my mind switches the images into my wife. She’s not even my wife anymore; I can’t quit calling her that. What should I do?

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Well I've learned something today! I would also have thought it expected that you would know your parents' ages, but I guess different families are different! Deep down, though, we're all the same: we all demand a non-stop supply of weird people making deranged demands of their relatives.

AITA for not wanting to wet nurse my 3 month old nephew?

quote:

The title isn't what it seems to begin with. My sister had tested out how he would do with a bottle, and she only tested it once, last month. He took it that one time. So I get to my moms and she's babysitting my 3 month old nephew. My sister decided to go to her husband's SpaceX holiday party 1 hour away from home. What I didn't know is that my mom and sister discussed between themselves that if he didn't take the bottle I would be there to nurse him if I had to. So time comes for him to eat, my mom gets his bottle ready, he isnt having it. She looks at me and says "poor baby, you should nurse your nephew." I replied with I'm not comfortable doing that. After that she continued to ask me to nurse him 4 more times each time me responding back with no. Also, I have a one month old who was born at 6 lbs so I felt that the milk I make is solely for my newborn. I felt I was getting guilt tripped and that I should've fed my nephew but also felt that it wasn't my responsibility. My sister chose to go to a holiday party instead of stay home and tend and care to her 3 month old. Sorry if this is all over the place, it's my first time posting and I'm still getting used to reddit. So AITA for not wanting to nurse my nephew?

I really want to know if SpaceX birthday party is a theme, or a party at SpaceX offices.

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Dec 15, 2019

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


My parents' age ends in the same number as mine so I never have trouble remembering -- just add 40! My siblings, on the other hand, I can never get right on the first try.

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


The girl must learn the ways of the theater.

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Barudak posted:

Mod [3 months] is very embarrassed about Thread [1 year] derailing about airline seat reclining.

is this thread really only 1 year old??? I feel like it's existed for years

but at the same time, you've been a mod for three months now?? time is a lie

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I asked my partner to propose again?

I am 28 weeks pregnant with our first child and my boyfriend (now fiancé) proposed to me last night while we were out to dinner. Unfortunately, I was feeling a little queasy and considering running to the bathroom right before he did. I didn’t and I ended up throwing up on him in the middle of the restaurant mid proposal. He played it off well and I did say yes and he gave me the ring.

I know this is the kind of thing we’ll laugh about and tell our children about, but I also would like to have that happy romantic proposal experience, which I missed because of pregnancy sickness.

I would like to ask my fiancé to propose again. It doesn’t have to be anything big, I’d be happy if he just did his little speech on one knee in our apartment. I just want to have that happy memory without it being tainted by sickness and embarrassment. However, several of my friends told me it was selfish for me to ask him to go through that stress again and that I should just live with it and chalk it up as a funny story. WIBTA if I asked him to propose again?

Edit: I get it, I’m the rear end in a top hat, but I’m still going to tell him how I feel. Also, just to reiterate, I only want him to redo the speech so I have something happy to reflect on now. I know many people find the story funny, but I still feel the humiliation and would like a happier story until I get to a point where I can laugh about it. For those of you commenting and sending messages about how I’m a crybaby because I didn’t get my “fairytale” proposal, I never once said I wanted that or asked for that. I think there’s a big gap between an extravagant fairytale proposal and a proposal you barely remember because you were nauseous and that got cut short because you vomited on your partner in the middle.

this is a completely reasonable request why on earth would anyone be calling her the rear end in a top hat?? I'm sure he would also quite like to redo the proposal, this time ending without him being vomited on!

edit: i should have kept reading the thread instead of needing to respond immediately, I see people are in agreement

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Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Of all the crazy things in this thread, the thing that has blindsided me most is people not knowing the name Llewellyn.

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