|
the future is WOW posted:Being allergic to cats doesn't necessarily mean you break out in a rash when you touch one. Seriously, how can you go through life believing that being allergic to animals always causes an instant reaction, especially after the cat saliva or whatever was on his hand has been drying for a while? I'm allergic to animals and I don't collapse into anaphylactic shock when I touch one, I just get very sneezy if I'm around them for more than a half hour or so. also I'm shuddering trying to imagine how seedy (pun intended) a club that allows unprotected sex would be. You would think they'd ask for recent STD test results prior to entry if they want to even pretend like they are a place a normal person would ever want to go.
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 08:54
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 15:43 |
|
|
"I have to be careful when money comes up" what the gently caress are you talking about, nobody cares how much money you have, let alone cares enough to comb through your posts for hints of "possibly being wealthy".
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2016 20:31
|
|
|
My favorite thing is how oblivious cat owners are to how bad their home smells. Cats smell better than dogs close up, but a cat house 99% of the time smells a ton worse than a dog only house unless you are ultra-diligent about cleaning tge shitbox, and goons arent exactly known for diligence and general hygeine.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 1, 2016 19:40
|
|
|
Coucho Marx posted:I'm impressed that goons didn't bite on the pedophilia-treatment-defender post To be fair it wasn't great bait, just "i'm a troll u guys lol but also I kind of believe it" which isn't exactly something new. You hear it all the time from 4chan types. Anyway re: ballshroom guy, I've heard the brown listerine thing for anything from toe fongus to dandruff but I'm pretty sure like most home remedies, the success stories you hear about, the problem just went away on its own and had little or anything to do with the remedy. Still, if you want to try soaking your nuts in listerine before going to the doctor, go for it, but I'd schedule an appointment anyway. 2 embarrassing minutes of someone looking at and swabbing your infected nuts and a prescription later and you never have to worry about it again.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 2, 2016 07:45
|
|
|
Considering what else people get tattoos of typically, a semi-colon is very far from the bottom of the list of lovely tattoos. I guess you could call it attention-seeking, but you could say that about pretty much every tattoo in a highly visible part of your body. You wouldn't have gotten it there if you didn't want to talk about/be asked about it. So they like talking about how they overcame their mental illness instead of how much they love mom, or how they totally identify with some random chinese letters - whats the big deal?
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2016 16:40
|
|
|
loquacius posted:My confession comes in now, Everything after this definitely did not happen, and everything before it is at least plausible, but almost certainly exaggerated.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 7, 2016 13:23
|
|
|
KomodoWagon posted:Thanks for reminding us all that Germans are autistic garbage people with no sense of humor. How real human beings growing up in that loving god-awful country don't kill themselves before reaching adulthood is beyond me. For real, every time I'm with people and there's a German there, the German will, without exception, take offense to someone's super tame joke and make a giant stink about it. Bonus points for when you're with a bunch of your old friends with whom you've always sworn like sailors and someone brings their "cool new friend, he's from Germany" and within ten minutes the loving kraut angrily demands you all clean up your language. This isn't accurate for pretty much every German I have met over here. I guess they don't curse a lot in comparison but the only time I've ever seen a German get offended and put a stop to a conversation is when someone asks them about Hitler/nazis.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 15, 2016 14:13
|
|
|
I'm sure that story is written intentionally to make people mad about MRAs or whatever but if it's true, it's been one drat day, calm down. If you want someone to do nothing but cook, clean and let you put your dick in them hire a bangmaid, wives are allowed to do things other than serve you.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 16, 2016 18:11
|
|
|
loquacius posted:Is this a thing? asking for a friend The demand certainly exists https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L44fwkfx4ag so I'm sure there is someone out there that will clean up after you and let you bang them, for money.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 16, 2016 19:04
|
|
|
Even if Hillary was making sacrifices to Moloch, to find that disturbing in any way beyond "wow she believes in some stupid poo poo" is to think Moloch is, in fact, real and is controlling our world leaders. People like you (the confessor) are what makes it so easy for people to get away with the real "conspiracy theories". You believe literally everything you hear on 4chan or whatever and make yourselves look like idiots when it turns out to be nothing at all, so when you stumble upon one that actually has substance to it, people dismiss it just as much as your "Hillary is a lizard person sacrificing children", "miley cyrus was murdered and replaced by a body double by the illuminati", etc garbage
|
|
#
¿
Nov 19, 2016 16:15
|
|
|
loquacius posted:South Korea was literally being run by a secret cult until very recently so it's technically not beyond the realm of possibility but still That's the thing though, conspiracy nuts lend credulity to literally everything they hear because "it's true sometimes". If it hadn't been confirmed and you said a few months ago that South Korea's leader had a personal shaman that made her decisions people would call you nuts, because the 1000 prior times people like that were very wrong and just making poo poo up.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 19, 2016 16:23
|
|
|
Also it is 2016. Phones dont really "act up" and nobody your age is going to believe neither of the cameras are working on it. Just tell her youre busy instead of using lame excuses nobody is going to believe for long.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 22, 2016 04:06
|
|
|
food court bailiff posted:lol this isn't true at all It has been in my experience unless it's a particularly old office  Most places with public/work bathrooms seem to be going with the kind where it's just the bowl sticking out of the wall.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 22, 2016 07:39
|
|
|
Maybe you really are a pedophile, but to me it sounds like because of your experience which was not pedophilic (is that a word?) in any way has screwed you up into thinking you are one, just like people who drink too much one night and are convinced they are an alcoholic. You need to realize that while it would be incredibly wrong and weird for you to touch a 13 year old now, it's part of growing up when you're both kids and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it at all. If you really are attracted to kids then yeah keep staying away from them, but your evidence of your pedophilia seems pretty weak and if you come to terms with the fact that what you did wasn't wrong maybe you'll realize the "urges" are some self-fulfilling prophecy to let you continue to beat yourself up about it.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 3, 2016 17:03
|
|
|
Unctuous Cretin posted:Godparents are supposed to ensure a pious upbringing, but in reality, it's just a title and about as religious as Christmas is for most people. It's like an extra aunt/uncle. In my experience it's just a thing people say to make a friend feel good with the small print being that if you forget to buy their kid a gift they'll make you feel extra bad about it.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2016 17:43
|
|
|
How do you gently caress up discretely throwing a cup out the window so badly? Like he explicitly was waiting for a place where nobody would see it happen, then for some unexplicable reason he spikes it at a joggers feet+dog? Why couldn't you just wait until you got home and dump it out in the sink and throw the cup out after? If you didn't act weird/sneaky about it you could even do it in the same room and your parents (assuming they weren't close enough to see/smell it) would just assume you're dumping out leftover soda.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 7, 2016 16:33
|
|
|
loquacius posted:cleaning ritual goon That guy's future: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSJSWy2o_1I
|
|
#
¿
Dec 8, 2016 16:53
|
|
|
Incel girl goon, it's not that guys don't want to talk about those things (except magic, nobody wants to talk about that), it's that you're probably incredibly insufferable about it and try to force it into every conversation with no consideration of whether it is appropriate or not. Normal couples will talk about those things on occasion, but it's not what defines their relationship and the vast majority of the time is probably just small talk which you probably don't know how to make. Your whole post is basically "gently caress guys for having standards, all they want are 10s" on one side and "no guys I have a chance with meet my standards, why aren't the 10s flocking to me" on the other.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 9, 2016 15:02
|
|
|
Does anyone else have the dream where nobody ever tries to tell you about their dreams? That's the best dream.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2016 10:11
|
|
|
KomodoWagon posted:What if it's a sexy dream and they're really good at telling stories They almost never are though. 99% of the time the dream you are going to hear describes is either over the top ~wacky~+weird or over the top violent, and 100% of the time they are embellishing or flat out fabricating things when they notice you are losing interest.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2016 10:29
|
|
|
Charging friends or even friends of friends to stay at your place (as long as it's a reasonable amount of time) is ridiculous, let alone family. If they are staying a while and eating your food just ask them to chip in for groceries. You're like one of my former roommates who tried setting up a bring your own beer party with a "door fee" and guess what, hardly anybody came and nobody thought he was serious about the door fee because charging money for being allowed to enter your house temporarily is something only assholes do.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 14, 2016 17:04
|
|
|
Thats just his rationalization. He is in denial. Nobody is going to think it is a woman when they find out they won't get naked and will only do anal. They might say he passes for a woman in the moment but deep down they know they are loving someone who has a dick.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 18, 2016 08:16
|
|
|
Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:I dunno that doesn't sound super committed or enthusiastic about her upcoming lesbian wedding. Yeah I mean best of luck and all but that just screams of "I will play along and hope this is just a phase". In the end either she is straight and will eventually leave you since shes not into women or she will play along but always consider you a man deep down.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 23, 2016 22:17
|
|
|
Atlas Hugged posted:There's a really simple way to test if you are the strongest man in the world and that's to sign up for a local MMA competition. Or, you know, the competitions that are explicitly designed to find "the strongest man in the world", those things where they pull trucks around or whatever. You could be strong as hell and be awful at fighting.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 25, 2016 11:32
|
|
|
runupon cracker posted:I can't speak to the rest of the organizations you tried to join, but I can tell you that the Freemasons tried to dissuade you because it's not an occult organization. It's merely occult-adjacent, because some notable occultists were Freemasons, and some occult organizations have co-opted some of the symbols of Freemasonry. Yeah this is true. My dad was a member when he was younger and he said it was essentially a drinking club for older men who occasionally liked to play dressup. He said the most interesting topics of discussion during meetings were such spooky topics as whether to have lasagna or spaghetti for the dinner next meeting. Or maybe that's just the cover story they gave him 
|
|
#
¿
Jan 9, 2017 17:57
|
|
|
loquacius posted:I'm gonna be honest with you, this sounds believable both as a story and as a family legend and I'm not really sure how your conclusion after hearing everything is "ok SOME possessions are real though". I dunno, I'm not Catholic and haven't really spoken to any serious Catholics about demons, maybe it's A Thing for them There are apparently college courses and people that "research" demonology, but it's not clear whether they believe in them in a literal sense or if it's more of a metaphor or something and consider things like alcoholism to be a "demon". Getting an actual exorcism seems to be a big pain in the rear end and they make you jump through a lot of hoops to make sure you aren't just looking for an excuse to tie your mentally ill grandma to a bed and throw water at her, so to me it seems like it's the kind of thing where they don't want to outright say there aren't demons, but they also don't want to waste time on something they know is just a placebo. If true possessions were real and exorcisms could drive them out and make them do supernatural stuff, there would be non-faked video of it by now. If it is real I guess it would be a terrible ordeal you wouldn't necessary want to remember, but at least one relative would be thinking of how many youtube bucks they could rake in and whip out their phone.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 10, 2017 19:12
|
|
|
The idea-stealing confession sounds bad on the surface, but I suspect it's being told from a misleading perspective. Companies use their employee's ideas all the time. It sounds like that kind of thing is part of your job description. What did you expect, that you'd get the millions of dollars because it was your idea? If they aren't giving you any credit at all then yeah it's wrong, but it could be that they do appreciate your idea and will reward you for it in the form of a raise or a promotion in the future. Absolutely bring it up next time you're under review and try to use it to give you leverage for the raise/promotion but beyond that I don't know what you want them to do. Going to a lawyer would definitely torch your career and it's not even clear if you have a valid case.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 14, 2017 15:02
|
|
|
Wizzle posted:Or put it on your resume and find a new job that pays really well and put your new found talent to work for someone else. That wouldn't work very well if it's the case that they aren't giving them any credit at all and would deny it if asked. It's so vague though that who knows what actually happened.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 14, 2017 17:00
|
|
|
VanSandman posted:IANAL but many companies have explicit employment documents that say anything you do on company time that benefits (or could benefit it, in the case of inventions) the company is the owner of said work, no questions asked. Yeah this is basically what I was trying to say. It's your job. Aside from possible raises/bonuses and promotions there's nothing you are entitled to for doing your job well.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 14, 2017 19:18
|
|
|
How was he pointing a "gun" at your head after you said you disarmed him? Where did he pull it out of if he was only wearing a darth vader mask? This is just a poorly thought out fake "I'm a cop and killed someone for a stupid reason and didn't get in trouble for it" isn't it?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 16, 2017 15:52
|
|
|
Hardly any of that is "scamming", it's just plain old petty theft. The dead dad thing definitely didn't happen though. Who isn't going to notice a guy digging a human sized grave in his yard and report it? Nobody does that aside from i guess murderers so if you really did do it I hope you enjoy being investigated for killing him on top of the social security stuff.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 19, 2017 10:27
|
|
|
Honestly to me it sounded more like a guy fantasizing about his therapist typing it with one hand than a story that actually happened. If it is real I'm sure it was down out of pity more than anything and if you try and pursue it you'll likely end up destroying both your personal and professional relationship with her, leading you to whine that once again all the women you like abandon you when it was you who sabotaged it. If she pursues it then fine, but don't date her or anything while you are her patient, even if she is willing to risk her job doing it. And no offense, but you have to consider how healthy the relationship would be considering your self-professed issues. Relationships where one partner tries to fix the other rarely have a happy ending.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 31, 2017 11:41
|
|
|
That murder story doesn't even hold up to even the most basic logic. How could there be no prints on the ID? It was snowing so he could have been wearing gloves, but have you ever tried to get your ID out of the wallet with thick snow gloves? Was he wearing them when he put it in the wallet too? How did he sleep through the inevitable screaming and bashing as the door was kicked in? Honestly if it really happened, if I were the police and I heard that story the husband would be my #1 suspect and I would be searching the guy's properties for where he stashed his daughter, not looking for some mystery man.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 31, 2017 21:56
|
|
|
How is that even a confession, and why is it anonymous? People post about their boring spooky dreams all the time. If you go to see someone about it they'll just say something about breathing like the post above me and maybe do a sleep study but in the end if there's no physical cause like the way you sleep will just shrug and say it's just a dream, because that's all it is. Dream analysis to me is like fortune telling/horoscopes/etc anyway - you will see whatever "meaning" you want to see, when there probably isn't one.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 4, 2017 07:13
|
|
|
Second goon who wants the lower sex drive - try looking in the mirror whenever you think about jacking off.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 5, 2017 15:36
|
|
|
While that conspiracy theory (like most of them) could theoretically true, it's far simpler and there's far more evidence that Trump is just a racist and did it just because he's wanted to do it for so long. If there was truly a terrorist threat that this would have been a solution for I'm sure they'd have handled it far better/more covertly so it wouldn't get almost immediately overturned.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2017 15:41
|
|
|
Torquemada posted:
I'm no TFR goon but I would think in addition to that a bullet that big would probably go through the guy and the next couple of walls, so even if the police ruled that situation self defense the confessor would probably still get charged with reckless endangerment or whatever charge I can't remember from law & order in similar situations. There's not really a valid self-defense reason I can think of for needing a gun that powerful (e: unless you regularly encounter large bears or something) and the public is probably safer with it out of the fat hooker goon's hands.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2017 15:51
|
|
|
Now-single dad goon, if I learned anything from movies I've recently seen, maybe consider buying a zoo and using it to bond with your kid. It worked for Matt Damon.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2017 22:53
|
|
|
That first one seems like he deep down thinks his girlfriend isn't enjoying the sex considering how often he repeats "we have good sex" or some variant of it. He does it like 4 times just in that confession.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 8, 2017 12:10
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 15:43 |
|
|
There is no such thing as rape without some form of sex/penetration of something. Like the other goon said at worst it's sexual assault. You're in a no-win situation and the relationship is probably going to end. You can either stand your ground and say it wasn't rape/whatever which will just make her mad and she'll probably start spreading it around to other people, or you can be the weepy mess you are now and she'll gradually get tired of it and lose whatever respect she has for you left and leave you for someone else. Also what's a furbag? A furry I guess?
|
|
#
¿
Feb 11, 2017 17:25
|
|