SWOLECEPTION: lift big eat big shit big

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SWOLECEPTION: lift big eat big shit big

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Khorne posted:

Sleep less.

I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible to actually sleep for more than 7-8 hours for me. As in, I've done it 0 times in my adult life besides when they drug me to sleep for a major surgery. Once I wake up after 5-6 hours of sleep I literally can't fall back to sleep for 16-20 hours. It blows, but it also kinda doesn't blow.

that sounds fantastic. my idiot brain has always wanted way too much sleep, but knocking out for 13 hours flat was pretty disconcerting

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 08:55

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:28

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Drunk Driver Dad posted:

My sleep has been utter garbage trash. I work a lot, like I always mention so I'm generally tired as gently caress but my mattress is really a huge pile of poo poo and is likely what caused the latest round of shoulder issues. I posted in the questions thread about good mattresses and maybe I can get a new one soon, I'm really looking forward to good mattress related gains soon.

i have a baller mattress that is comfy yet very supportive, new, crisp sheets, a warm yet breathable down duvet, a soft new mattress pad, and a half dozen big, fluffy down pillows

perhaps my bed game is too strong?!

just go to a mattress store (gently caress an internet mattress) that has a test drive policy and spend a week or two on trying out a handful. it took me 3 tries to find the firmness level i liked best. a great mattress isn't cheap but for something you spend so much goddamn time using, just about any price is worthwhile for a good sleep.
get the right pillows for your style of sleep (back, side, stomach) and shell out for some sheets, and mattress pad, and the rest.

TenementFunster fucked around with this message at 09:33 on Jun 9, 2017

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 09:28

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

the High Intensity Interval Training community is starting a gofundme to buy Gal White Phosphorous Gadot an 18 month cycle of Anavar before the shooting of the next Wonder Wiman

# ¿ Jun 10, 2017 19:39

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

anabolics ARE magic

# ¿ Jun 10, 2017 19:43

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

when old-rear end Robin Wright showing you up,
poo poo is sad

# ¿ Jun 11, 2017 01:49

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Chinatown posted:

ive been eating alot of broccoli and cauliflower lately so it just slides right outta me eazy peazy

how old you gotta be to know "alot" isn't one word? do you not have autocorrect?

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 07:55

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Zzulu posted:

says the guy using "gotta" in his sentences

you loving noob

fight me

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 08:22

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

lol at being 5'9.5"

# ¿ Jun 26, 2017 20:56

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

6'1 garbage person is still better than a 5'7 handsome dude

aint no height augmentation surgery

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 07:51

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

60-90 minutes unless i get too high before and end up in there for two hours because i keep losing track of what set i'm on

# ¿ Jul 10, 2017 10:09

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Defiant Sally posted:

Speaking of drug abuse my doc recently prescribed me some Adderal 30's and holy loving LOL @ when you take them and also take pre workout.

jesus 30? i took 15mg (and i've had a prescription since i was kid) plus some mild pwo with ephedrine once. once. i can't imagine 30.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 15:30

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Drunk Driver Dad posted:

I got called in for my test results today and it was weird. I went in there and they just printed them out and said have a nice day. I was like "uh, so is everything okay?" and she's like "oh hang on I'll get someone" and a nurse was the one who looked at them. She's like, uh, these 2 things are high, but don't worry it just means you eat fatty foods. I was like "okay, I do eat a lot of fast food". As I was walking out the door I didn't see testosterone so I went back to the desk and was like "hey this isn't what I asked for" and they all started looking at it, like they are all experts, the receptionists and everything. Finally I got to talk to a doctor.

Testosterone just hasn't came back yet, so I'll know in a day or two. And like I suspected, the doctor asked me if I've been boozing and I told her yes. She guessed that I drank a 6 pack every day and I told her I used to, but it's been more like 3 recently and that I also lift. She said she knew lifting could raise up the ALT one, but she didn't think it could affect the AST test and that was from my boozing. She actually told me to stop worrying, it wasn't even high enough to worry about coming back to test again as long as I cut the booze down to 1 or 2. She did seem confused about the lifting part though about how much it could affect the AST one, she said in medical school they taught her S for scotch, so that's the one alcohol would make have high levels, but it doesn't really matter because I am cutting the boozing down anyway. She finally decided to take some more blood to test for the hepatitis's just to be safe. So I guess I'll know in a few more days if I have low T or Hepatitis. Although if I had hepatitis, boozed like I do(did), and lifting, I would imagine that liver enzyme test would have been through the drat roof. I think she also mentioned low test could also affect the liver enzyme levels and poo poo but I didn't really make that part out. Also I have low vitamin D.

e: I can't post the actual numbers, since I'm coming back for the other results they still have it and I'll bring it home with me then and post it for that curious guy. I'm surprised vitamin D was the only thing off, but I guess the spinach and carrots I've been blending up in my shakes along with the salads I get from chipotle have been covering my micros.

not reading this but assuming you are broken

# ¿ Jul 16, 2017 11:03

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Zahgaegun posted:

Dude, that's p low. Get that poo poo straightened out toot sweet.

Two minor updates:
I was feeling very vascular the other day:

I came out of the gym this morning and this jalopy wheezed past the front door:

Missing at least half the glass (and it was drizzling), spewing black smoke, with a small child and big dog in the back seat. The mom parked, gave the leash to this big-rear end dog to the kid, and walked into the dollar store while I stood there and gawped. I wasn't the only one, a little old lady was right next to me saying "That ain't right." She went over to talk to the girl, came back and said "She's filthy - will you call the cops?" So I did and that little old lady and I hung out in the parking lot until the cop came. Sad business all around.

stop loving snitching

# ¿ Jul 22, 2017 06:01

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

saw a guy in the gym today with a crossfit shirt on, wearing an ankle brace, with crutches, who hopped from position to position.

just stay home, bro

# ¿ Aug 8, 2017 11:33

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Zzulu posted:

does he seriously claim to be natural lmao

I don't understand the mindset of these obvious roiders who say they're natural. Like why do they do it? Do they have sponsors? Is their ego just too fragile to admit it publicly?

these are deeply unwell people

the most important muscle is ~your harto~

# ¿ Aug 14, 2017 07:44

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

what are we doing instead of upright rows?!

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 06:08

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Dreadite posted:

waaahhh i need an accountability group to stay in shape, i have no self control or dignity so i need constant external pressure to take care of myself lmao

so die already, u gross piece of poo poo

# ¿ Aug 19, 2017 05:01

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Rodenthar Drothman posted:

What's the appeal of uniqlo? I never got that.

Also, hello military press. Been a while.
Good to know i didn't lose any weight on it though.

it's H&M sweatshop poo poo, but for weeaboos

# ¿ Sep 21, 2017 16:26

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

holy poo poo the lunk alarm is REAL? i thought it was a jokey ha-ha thing that didn't really happen, like free pizza day.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2017 20:20

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

lol just pulled a forearm

luv too jerk it

# ¿ Oct 27, 2017 04:09

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

spent the last week in new orleans and at home for two thanksgivings without any concern for what i ate

187->196

help

# ¿ Nov 28, 2017 09:11

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

The Ferret King posted:

God, TenementFunster, you're still here?

~what is that supposed to mean?~

# ¿ Nov 28, 2017 20:43

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

hell yeah down to pre vacation weight

i miss white bread

# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 06:33

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Chinatown posted:

my mind recoils in horror after 5-7 days without any sort of white baked carbs

I MUST HAVE IT!

i ate like three packages worth of Kings Hawaiian rolls that week. it was fantastic.

also the only other rear end in a top hat in the gym right now isn�t wearing headphones and gently caress him if he thinks i ain�t gonna rip and tear rear end regardless

# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 06:39

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

i�m gonna be out of town for the next month-ish and the only work out facility within 30 minutes of me is a goddamn crossfit gym. is there, like, a good routine i can do with a low learning curve that won�t put my rear end in a literal sling with typical crossfit equipment? i�m not gonna learn to do a clean and jerk just for a few weeks

# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 10:02

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

dakana posted:

one time an old guy was trying to get a dumbbell while someone was blocking it, and the old dude said "there's a mirror in the bathroom you know" and I loled

holy poo poo what a burn

# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 10:03

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Gungnirr posted:

Show them crosfitters what's what, and don't do what I did yesterday after a months layoff going back to the deadlift hard then going home (crying, there's only pain now)

my body is lovely and weak, so afraid i�m just gonna grimace through some squats while wishing I was benching or doing tri pull-downs around a bunch of hot trustfunder CF ladies

# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 15:44

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

been on a 2 days on, 1 day off high volume schedule and eating much better for the last three weeks.

haven't felt any adverse effects but my body basically stopped working this evening and I passed out on the couch for three hours. feels gr8.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 04:53

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

my gf just said she was worried my body was starting to look too big for my head

# ¿ Jan 28, 2018 05:01

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Dennis McClaren posted:

Ok I really can't believe this, and I have to tell SOMEBODY. At my gold's gym, we have a guy who is coming in every other day at 8am, during one of the busiest hours. This guy occupies the ONLY power rack we have in this Golds. 3 Squat racks, 1 power rack.

So - what do you think he's doing in our only power rack? Squats? Cleans? Deadlifts? Maybe something stupid like - Curls, Pullups, Shrugs? No. Not him. This guy is doing Yoga, by himself, in our only power rack for 30-45 mins everyday. Yoga loving handstands and backbends and every manner of what belongs in a loving yoga room. Not the VERY MIDDLE of the weight pit in our ONLY power rack.

To top it off, its always the same sweaty gross outfit he wears too - Bell bottom female style joggers, and some flavor of pastel t-shirt. I would never ever film somebody in the gym if it would hurt them - but god drat I am so close because this is just too outrageous to keep to myself.

have you tried... talking?

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 04:53

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

nooneofconsequence posted:

yeah I mean I saw a guy doing ab rollouts in the power rack the other day but I didn't need it. If I did I would have just asked (just kidding he's really hot and intimidating).

dude was totally doing it on purpose

💯 alpha move

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 05:25

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

also has anyone else noticed that after you get noticeably bigger than most people, other big strangers try to get aggo at you for no reason when they are drunk? i was with some people at a bar last night and somebody in my group accidentally bumped into this 6�5� nazi haircut guy and the dude got tilted *at me* over it. what the hell, dude

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 05:37

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

doverhog posted:

The nazi dude wanted to show dominance, and you looked like the best target for that display. There is a difference tho, with how people interact with you. I'm 6'4'' but used to be kind of slumped over and skinnyfat. It's hard to describe, but there is a difference.

i just want them to go away!!

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 10:44

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

do those home scales do an okay job of measuring body fat? i�m not expecting clinical accuracy or anything, but it would be nice to be able to get a ballpark idea for tracking

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 08:25

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

okay good enough because i don�t wanna caliper myself

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 09:30

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Drunk Driver Dad posted:

http://fitness.bizcalcs.com/Calculator.asp?Calc=Body-Fat-Navy Use this as well

will that work if i have always had a bizarrely thick neck?

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 20:38

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

today my dental hygienist told me that protein shakes might be the cause of my recent aggressive tartar production because my body is sweating out all the excess calcium and such

i�m right for thinking this sounds 80% crazy, aren�t i?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 05:40

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

dads friend steve posted:

Idk, what�s your dental hygienist squat?

not enough for me to trust her

also what�s with the skinny fat just-out-of-college dudes who come to the gym, hop on the exercise bike for 45 minutes and go home without ever picking up a weight? biggest mystery in the gym

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 07:38

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

feelix posted:

They don't want to get too bulky

s-surely that can�t be it...

j-just l-l-l-lol if...

i�m...

i�m the one with the problem?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 10:32

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:28

TenementFunster: Feb 20, 2003; The Cooler King

Khorne posted:

Protein Shakes can mess up your teeth just like soda and coffee, but it shouldn't be the cause unless your dental hygiene sucks. As long as you brush thoroughly at least once per day, research actually shows closer to once every 36 hours, nothing should be building up, and as long as you drink some water sometime after your drat protein shake it shouldn't be a big issue.

Did they point out where the buildup was? You're likely just doing a garbage job brushing that area. For me, I struggle to hit the back of my bottom front few teeth well. It's real drat awkward and hard and takes a concentrated effort.

lower front, and it�s only been a recent problem, as in i�ve been getting cleanings every four months now. i brush and floss very often, but scaling has been a problem there for the past four years, which is about as long as i�ve been doing regular shakes. the concept of the excess minerals or whatever leaching into my saliva was kind of a trip. i�ve always had crazy active saliva glands, too. just wondered if anyone else has got the same weird dr oz advice

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 06:31

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