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Caufman
May 7, 2007
I like rice and mayonnaise, mixed together.

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Caufman
May 7, 2007
I hold that it is mayonnaise.

edit: Or anything mixed with mayonnaise, like ketchup.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
My penis is plenty big enough.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I don't like Let It Go, especially because Love is an Open Door is way catchier.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I cried during the first twenty minutes of Frozen. Do You Wanna Build a Snowman was powerful, yo.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Religion and spirituality are frequently very cool in the many forms they take.

If people did not have a common desire to connect with things of ultimate meaning and supreme importance, we'd all be less interesting to engage with.

This is only unpopular on the internet, I'm pretty sure.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I can still agree with that.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

The Saddest Rhino posted:

People who identify as gamer, yet do not have all three of the Dark souls game installed in their system of choice, are the reason a Trump presidency is imminent.

Yeah, I try to be straight up with people. "I play a lot of video games, but a lot of them are nonsense."

Caufman
May 7, 2007

doverhog posted:

Alt right is the right except they are honest about being nazis.

Sorry, neo-Nazis.

I only Hail Mary!

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Even as an NPR nerd, I don't listen to Prairee Home Companion.

Aramek posted:

Commercialism is good. You all should buy things for your friends and loved ones this time of year, and be cheerful and enjoy spending time with one another.

*hug*

Commerce is good. The peaceful trading of goods and services is often very good.

Commercialism, a belief that the concerns and measures of commerce should dominate other spheres of life, is dangerous.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
We should do more executive things by sortition.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
You can hate all the gravy, all the over/undercooked cow parts, all the dishes you want. More food for me. If you're not going to eat that, can I?

The smell and taste of most seafood makes me literally gag, but I wish I enjoyed seafood. The idea and sight of seafood do not bother me in the slightest. Wishing has not been enough to coach my gag reflex, though.

edit: and it's not genetic or cultural. I was born to a seafood loving family in the seafood loving country of Indonesia. My reaction to seafood puzzles and disconcerts me.

Caufman has a new favorite as of 16:57 on Jan 6, 2017

Caufman
May 7, 2007
That's nothing.

I support the benevolent dictatorship: Ayatollah Khomeini.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Ranch is adulterated mayonnaise. Aioli is nice, and I've never tried Miracle Whip.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
The best response to terror is neither to be afraid nor jaded.

The best response is to stand by your better angels even when terror and violence are used to break your resolve.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Horizontal nipple piercings are preferable to vertical nipple piercings.

This is true for male and female bodies, lest any of you think I'm some kind of pervert.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
My favorite drinking game is finding a dark room to drink alone in.

My favorite reefer game is wake 'n bake.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

I have never seen or heard of a vertical nipple piercing.

You're one image search away from a whole new visual experience.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Mu Zeta posted:

Bring back Celestial instead of Asian

I'll meet you half way with Asiatic, Oriental, or Chinaman.

No, never mind.

I will meet you there at Celestial.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I like and prefer anal.

I'm not particular who pitches first as long as we go the full nine innings.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Joey Freshwater posted:

He says, in the Post Your Personally Held Unpopular Opinion thread

Too easy.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
A person is as a person does, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, or None of the Above.

If you want to get really good at prejudging populations, avoid any relations or contact with them.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Broccoli done right does a good job of soaking in flavors. I would never take peas over corn, though. Grilled corn is the best vegetable dish of the New World.

Cabbage is edible. Brussels Sprouts are nearly not.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Tiggum posted:

Did you forget that potatoes are from South America? Because you can't possibly be saying that corn is better than potatoes. Baked, mashed, fried, they're just great. :colbert:

I'm saying it, Tiggum. I'm saying it to your face. I'm saying to your dog. I'm saying it to your mom's cavernous gape: though delicious, potatoes are second to corn. And corn is second to none.

You know one lame way to eat potatoes? Raw.

EvenWorseOpinions posted:

Mayonnaise hate is undeserved. It is the best condiment for anything you would normally put condiments on

Yes. And ranch is adulterated and inferior mayonnaise.

Wheat Loaf posted:

I like sprouts.

Morally, there is nothing objectionable with this. But you will never be popular in my house.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Mu Zeta posted:

Ethanol is ruining america

Stop talking about my drinking problem.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

starkebn posted:

Charity is mostly about making you feel better, not doing good for someone else. Almost all charity is completely bullshit.

I don't know about ice cube challenges and speed runs, but charity does not just mean giving to a corporation that files its taxes as a non-profit. Caritas is the expression of love you have for someone without expecting a return. Caritas can be like you standing by a friend when they're dying. Your with them in their last moments, even if it's frightening and unpleasant. You're not going to see them after that day, but you're still there when they asked you to be, and you didn't have to.

Performing charity for friends and family is easier to do than it is for strangers. That's reasonable, you're not expected to sacrifice yourself. But you can practice no-strings-attached kindness even in small ways: by looking your server in the eye and smiling, by driving with respect and courtesy, by saying please and thank you.

And if performing acts of friendships with all makes you feel better or increases your human capital, that's all fine. We are the social primates of apex complexity. We need to conceive of harmony so that we can survive mundanely.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Sunswipe posted:

Trans women with or without the penis? Because without the penis might as well be a cis woman.

The only thing as attractive as a woman with a penis is a woman without a penis, and vice versa.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Ketchup is good on most savory things. I get there are things it's dumb to put it on, especially if it's so much ketchup that the flavor of some expensive/well-crafted food is drowned out, but gently caress, ketchup is good. On eggs, on steak, on hot dogs, on fried rice... Mayo is pretty good on everything too, and both are are improved with sriracha/tobasco/frank's red hot

Hot dog partisans are the loving worst though. Ketchup kind of interferes with the other things I mention above but a loving hot dog is bland meat and bread. Put whatever poo poo you want on it.

Also I'm fairly convinced that 95% of "UGH MAYONNAISE" or "UGH RANCH" is hyberbole from folks who want to sound not-fat, bc no one in real life says that, regardless of how healthy their diet is. Fat and some spices is so basic a taste that goes on so many things well.

I enjoy mayonnaise quite a bit, but I'd pass on the ranch 4/5 times. The spices in ranch don't improve the flavor in my mouth. I'd rather have the simpler mayo.

Other then that, I agree.

*puts mayo and chili oil on rice, to the horror of many*

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I literally cannot understand people who eat anything other than purestrain mayonnaise.

I just pulled two mayo popsicles out the freezer and I'm ready to spitroast myself.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Solice Kirsk posted:

Well, in this scenario you'd also be letting them out once the Allies got into Germany. At worst, people could only accuse you of being overall neutral.

In one and only one respect do I agree with Zapp Brannigan: neutrality is the greater sin. Say what you want about our Nazi enemies, but they had ethos.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I could stand to hear out a new social contract.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I'll touch whatever I god drat feel like.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I would never walk out on a movie.

If I'm not enjoying it, I start screaming and masturbating until I'm having a good time.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

Jerry Cotton posted:

A multitude of people still are.

Don't look at me. I pay my employees a (slave's) wages.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
If you want me to step through the teleporter, you're going to have to pay me a lot more than nothing

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I have an uncontrollable gag reflex to most sea food except sea weed. I cannot help it, as much as I want to. I get offered a lot of seafood when I'm back at old country. I have to politely decline, because if I try their sea food, I will likely gag in front of them and might even vomit.

I have no problem with the idea of sea food. I envy people who enjoy it, because they look like they really enjoy it. For whatever reason, my body won't let me be near it without an impolite reaction.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
Yeah, shunning a Nazi is preferable to a situation of ultima ratio: killing them in warfare.

The only thing it takes to stop being a Nazi is to stop being a Nazi.

Caufman
May 7, 2007
I prefer to drive against traffic than with it.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

lemon-lyme disease posted:

I don't know if I'd attach it to voting rights, but working retail is a crushing experience everyone should have, if only to gain perspective. Really, any service industry would probably do the trick.

e: Although part of what is crushing about it is knowing it's a necessity because there isn't another option if you want to afford a place to live/food to eat. It's pretty hard to mandate that particular set of circumstances.

Compulsory national service, citizen. Would you like to know more?

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Caufman
May 7, 2007

lemon-lyme disease posted:

I get that you can compel somebody to do it. You just can't compel them to be poor and/or desperate. Unless they maybe already are, I guess? but then you wouldn't need to.

Everyone will be made to feel poor and desperate in my Mobile Infantry, trooper!

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