Navy Thread: SUBJ/TRANSMISSION OF STEAMY BITS//

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Navy Thread: SUBJ/TRANSMISSION OF STEAMY BITS//

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Red Crown posted:

I've been avoiding this thread - I put in my separation papers months ago. I figured I'd come back when I was safely on terminal leave. Now?

I'm ready to make a really bad decision. All I have to do is hit the "cancel" button on NSIPS. When times are good, they're great. I can make this work. It's scary out there, I know I can always go home to Navy - the bad times, they weren't so bad, I think.

Yes they were.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2023 21:08

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:28

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

If I had stayed in, I'd now be one year away from making more money sitting on my rear end and drinking scotch than I currently make at a worthwhile job.
I still don't regret not making it a career.
In hindsight, getting out right as the recession hit meant that my retirement savings was reset and didn't start building up until my late 30s so staying to 8-10 would have been a decent financial choice.

Still, FTN. I'd rather be pinching pennies and doing good in the world rather than living high on the MIC hog and spending my prime years having done nothing worthwhile for anyone.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2023 15:59

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

AlternateNu posted:

Y�all should�ve become reserve officers, instead. This poo poo is great!

It actually isn't.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2023 00:33

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Hm� should I take up my entire back with a sick full color battle of Trafalgar? Nah. BLOCK TEXT!

# ¿ Mar 21, 2023 13:25

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

I�m super tired of the Navy (even the reserves) but I�m still contemplating a kickass ship tattoo when I retire because ship tattoos fuckin� rule.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2023 14:55

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Elviscat posted:

As always the Brits have us beat on everything Navy related, Astute, Artful, Ambush, Audacious, those are ships to be feared. Like "oh poo poo the Brits have sent the motherfucking Ambush to hunt us down" vs "oh my, the Americans have sent the, uh USS City of Corpus Christi to find us".

Counterpoint: HMS Daffodil.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2023 11:39

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Cerekk posted:

I like the thematic naming. Like the OHIO class:

State
State
State
State
U.S. Senator (deceased)
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State
State

How about

Fish
President
State
gently caress it we're out of money.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2023 01:46

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Flyinglemur posted:

There's also the story of The Dead Man living in my berthing but that's a whole different thing

Mudd?

# ¿ Apr 1, 2023 14:37

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

FrozenVent posted:

It�s a stability textbook for merchant marine deck officer, not exactly riveting materials.

Don't kink shame.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2023 19:53

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

FrozenVent posted:

DO YOU WANT A PROBE? THIS IS HOW YOU GET A PROBE!

According to his rap sheet, this is how he's gotten a probe at least seven times already.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2023 02:11

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

FrozenVent posted:

I�M MERCHANT MARINE THE ONLY JUSTICE I CARE ABOUT IS THE CBA

I think this is where we start talking about flag fringe?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2023 02:52

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

quote:

Kim was pinned by his wife while his three children watched from close by.

Gonna go out on a limb and say that the kids only recognize him from pictures.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2023 02:24

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Grip it and rip it posted:

Oooh do infantry next - I want to see how efficient spending money on them is.

Did you know we keep nuclear ICBM silos manned at all times? We don't even launch those! It costs hundreds of millions of dollars! We could have that as tax breaks!

Not a great line because decommissioning our silos would actually be a great way to save money.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2023 17:05

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

King of Bees posted:

My son and i were discussing it and we can't decide if navy or air force junior officers are more likely to buy a tesla. The other services arent in the running imho.

poo poo i forgot about the space force

Space force is most likely to buy a Tesla with Bitcoin.

# ¿ May 16, 2023 21:48

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

TheWeedNumber posted:

So I talked to flyinglemur via pm while I was probed. And between that discussion and this, the world will never know what happened.

I think it was the loving CMC though. At XOI the XO told me �this was nothing, just talk to me, we can make it go away.� And, at mast, the CO was drilling me on what I thought I�d do out the navy. So maybe they were trying to scare me straight. Or maybe they wanted to gaslight me before sticking the knife in.

Idk. All I know is poo poo changed from the moment I said those words, in the room, in that moment. Of course, my COC def hosed me behind my back and they did it to my face too, all down the line. And that me remaining silent until I voiced my right to remain silent by agreeing to talk to the CO was probably a mistake.

But I didn�t care anymore. Command gave up on me and I on them. gently caress the Navy. Shoulda went Army 11b and called it a day. I�d have been happy, even if I died out there.

e: found this motherfucker. never thought to look before today.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenpachuta/ (the CO)

i wish i never looked

You just about gave an irregular heartbeat. My first CO was a psychotic named Pachuta, but different first name. gently caress.

# ¿ May 22, 2023 01:27

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

TheWeedNumber posted:

im so sorry fam. on my end im just tight he got a star before he went. and that i got hosed by a dentist

I know mine got a bird and I don't want to find out if he got more.

MFer cussed out sailors on tiger cruise.

# ¿ May 22, 2023 01:45

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

In the last month, a couple of my students have talked to me about the academy. One asked for a recommendation. I think he deserves it.
The other, I'm talking out of it, because he deserves better.

# ¿ May 26, 2023 01:37

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Mr. Nice! posted:

My first skipper as an officer would always have an ensign using a stadimeter to shout out distances between us and our unrep ship until we got close enough for the laser distance readers to work. Those things were nifty, and you could accurately measure distance on the fly with them.

Do they not still do this?

# ¿ Jun 12, 2023 16:41

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Geizkragen posted:

Bad news folks, even being a noble isn�t enough to keep away the sad anymore:

https://news.usni.org/2023/06/19/surface-warfare-tackles-persistent-problems-as-more-than-half-of-jos-say-they-dont-want-command

I'm retiring (reserves) this year and this will never be fixed. When I was commissioned they said that all the horrible SWO culture was part of the past. It isn't. It won't be. It's self selecting. Nobody wants to stay in unless they're part of the problem. The Pentagon brass can't fix it because they never understood the problem.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2023 16:33

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Nick Soapdish posted:

The only happy SWOs I met were those that lat transferred to IW communities

I tried but SWO wouldn't let me

# ¿ Jun 21, 2023 18:20

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Man, they really used to teach the hell out of handwriting.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2023 00:33

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Elviscat posted:

You don't even have to do that, you can just stop showing up to the reserves.

Just hit da bricks.

Acrually I dunno if that'd be smart for a GS to do, but for non government workers it works, and I think you can just opt-out of the reserves any 'ol time you want?

I had an AF reserve guy who I hot-potatoed to another supervisor the second I could, that dude converted some of his active duty time to reserve time, then just went AWOL, they 100% could have recalled him to active and NJPd his rear end, but no one cared enough.

After a few months of no contact they just ADSEP you.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2023 18:58

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Flyinglemur posted:

I only got one reenlistment bonus my whole career. I was a little salty about it until I remembered that every time we pulled into a port I was walking down the pier in civilian clothes watching the nukes hook up shore power. I was also coming back from Liberty when they had already been working forever. All of them.

Something's in life are worth more than money. I know they get great training and fantastic job opportunities when you get out, but all things considered you can keep your money.

Do they?

# ¿ Jul 15, 2023 14:32

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

I've seen two overboard. One was a petty officer in port who went to mast. Before mast he was telling everyone "if they take my stripe, I'm leaving."
They took his stripe. He about faced, walked off the bridge and just kept walking. Didn't try to swim to shore and run off, just treading water in gross Norfolk water until they fished him out.

Other one was in Chesapeake Bay during sea and anchor. Line handler, claims he tripped and fell but I'd bet money that he was napping and fell out the cargo doors.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2023 14:39

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

PneumonicBook posted:

When I flew on orders (no passport) to Italy it was way smoother than I thought it would be, but the airport was right next to a naval base so I assume they saw that a lot.

I work with a guy who was flying on orders and got detained in Saudi Arabia for 14 hours and didn't have a pleasant experience.

Happened in de Gaul, once. Not 14 hours, but the customs guy was like "gently caress your ID and orders that isn't a real passport"
That's why I always carry my official passport, just in case I run into that one official who decided to gently caress with the GI that day.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2023 22:30

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

PneumonicBook posted:

Three more are on their way to decomming on the Freedom side.

Looks like they're just doing it in a hurry:
https://twitter.com/mercoglianos/status/1693325969224765762

# ¿ Aug 20, 2023 22:33

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Flyinglemur posted:

We deployed to West Africa twice and I tried very hard to make a Dead Milkman song that is not cool to say anymore our song but the rest of the first class mess voted Africa by Toto because they all suck

Does the song involve going to the zoo?

# ¿ Aug 31, 2023 17:40

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Flyinglemur posted:

I did two surface ships and three subs and when people ask me which one is better I always answered "shore duty"

After my second sea tour, slate for shore duty came out. Unless I signed up for DH, the only shore duty available was poo poo like ATG. Best option: drop letter, leave Navy.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2023 20:26

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Crab Dad posted:

MY FRIEND HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE RESERVES?

lol j/k

I dont even drill monthly anymore and am forgetting so much. May only have to serve a month at a time twice a year to fulfill my requirements but man am I going to get rusty. And fat.

Retiring from the reserves at the end of this year. Virtual drill is pretty cool.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2023 20:57

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

AlternateNu posted:

You should've poked your detailer more. There are a lot of random billets that have been gapped long enough that you might've been able to find a blood money waiver. I did for mine.

Of course, that was over a decade ago.

I left the Navy and finished my degree right into the Great Recession. I couldn't find a job, I was getting suicidally depressed about that and my wife was liable to leave me because of that when I finally found a career. It was a dark year or two.

Still better than staying in.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2023 03:24

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

pmchem posted:

I�m sad they�re only doing the court martial! Most of the book is outside court and the best parts of the book are on the ship leading up to the mutiny. Great book.

Wouk adapted his own book into stage play, which this movie is based on.

E: I�ve seen the play and the Bogart movie and they work in different ways. The play gives the audience the same information that the court gets, which makes the perspective change.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2023 17:42

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

babyeatingpsychopath posted:

His plan is to activate for his last two years directly into a sea tour. His TSP account is fully bonkers.

Navy doesn�t like to let you do that. Guard will though.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2023 03:07

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Nick Soapdish posted:

That's fair, I think we've all had someone like that in our work center

https://twitter.com/CavasShips/status/1714237120796144084

Looking back to post-9/11, I would like to know the comically low percentage of big decks that actually departed and returned as scheduled. I know when I did my Bataan afloat in 2011-12, we left early due to Arab Spring and Libya and returned on the scheduled time.

When I was with Kearsarge in 2005, our deployment went as schedule. Same on Reagan 2006, but this was followed by a surprise 90 day deployment at the start of 2007.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2023 22:29

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Wingnut Ninja posted:

The PAO should definitely be able to point you in the right direction; you'll probably want either the facilities office (NAVFAC) or the base safety office.

Specifically the Public Works Department (PWD).

# ¿ Oct 21, 2023 16:23

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Jimmy4400nav posted:

The classic muffin-top hull form, its an elegant shape built to mirror the physical appearance of the fleet khakis.

While there is already a USS Chief, surely there are enough highly decorated CPOs to name a new class.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2023 00:31

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Mr. Bad Guy posted:

LMFAO they just killed HYT.

And kept NavFit98 alive.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2023 01:55

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Crab Dad posted:

Y�all real navy are wild.
We don�t even have covers in indopacom and there�s 4 stars running around.

Back in the day, bridge watch was in SDBs.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2023 02:10

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Crab Dad posted:

Seems rather small for a tug. Did no mention of mechanical issues get announced?

That's what she said?

# ¿ Jan 20, 2024 20:17

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

shame on an IGA posted:

genuinely not sure if that's supposed to be a crusader or a boba fett

I only see mandalorian armor, no crusader at all.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 03:00

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:28

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Nick Soapdish posted:

https://twitter.com/paulmcleary/status/1787592297099481525?t=yx3KFv9wFA-ivBuC96BaiQ&s=19

A buddy from the Bataan ARG 2011-12 long deployment is on their right now as a Senior Chief. I have to imagine being a khaki underway is better than as a blueshirt. During that deployment, they stuffed us staff and augmentees in Snipes Castle. Every shower and toilet worked but man was that a culture shock

Good thing we have like a thousand DDGs so we can... keep the same one on station month after month.

# ¿ May 6, 2024 23:12

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