Trump Thread II: The man make a tweet

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Trump Thread II: The man make a tweet

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

We're building up a tolerance for big news bombshells. By july, even though this shitstorm will be far from over with a daily rain of breaking news, we're going to be scouring city council reports from rural backwaters looking for any bits of drama to share, and then scratching our necks up in frustration when it isn't enough to get our fix.

# ¿ May 23, 2017 23:21

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 10:21

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Rigel posted:

"JAPAN BOMBS HAWAII!"

pfft, weak, come on what's the real news?

* INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE FROM MULTIPLE TRUSTED SOURCES CONFIRMS TRUMP IS AN ALIEN LIZARDMAN *

Uhhh that's close but I need a pre-election tweet of him condemning all alien lizardmen :f5:

# ¿ May 23, 2017 23:26

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

In those photos the pope has the same demeanor dogs get when they instinctively know a human near them is abusive and evil.

# ¿ May 24, 2017 10:49

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

I am the ineffective middle manager who is for the 3rd time today emailing the CBO and CC'ing a few random higher ups asking when the report will be delivered.

# ¿ May 24, 2017 20:08

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Captain Monkey posted:

Ok.

This is a weird hill to die on though.

As someone who didn't go east of the mississippi until 18 I can confirm that for most of us out west here, "east coast" starts somewhere around Indianapolis.

It's not that we're dumb (well, it's not the reason we're dumb), we just don't care about useless trivia. It's east. Oh it's not directly on the water? okay

# ¿ May 24, 2017 22:54

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/867502909591826432

:allears:

# ¿ May 24, 2017 23:21

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Sheriff says this rates only as a misdemeanor

https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/867601331288248320

# ¿ May 25, 2017 05:45

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Thaddius the Large posted:

Hot take: Cold Smoke is better

It's better than moose drool but where it's at for montana booze is Orphan Girl

# ¿ May 25, 2017 07:00

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

I really really hope Quist's campaign runners are on the ball enough to message this in reference to the AHCA and CBO score. Instead of just the attack because that alone can parse into a lot of off-message stuff and a lot of Montanans won't give a poo poo if they think all the fuss is because their rep punched a nerd.

The quantifications and conclusions in that report are harrowing, and they've been given the mother of all opportunities to tie it around this guy's neck. After talking about the realities of the bill, just roll the tape and point out the question he was being asked.

Bhaal fucked around with this message at 08:24 on May 25, 2017

# ¿ May 25, 2017 08:11

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

If I ever ~~have the opportunity~~ receive the extreme punishment of having to shake DT's hand, I'm going to stay off balance so that the cameras will unequivocally capture him yanking me to the ground.

In my statement I'll say with confusion that I've shaken hands with thousands of people and never once had that happen, so I had no idea he would pull me in so hard.

# ¿ May 25, 2017 17:56

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

WeAreTheRomans posted:

Well, he's made no secret that he sees trade deficits as a bad economic thing, because ???????????????

I have a HUGE trade deficit with the grocery store down the street and those BASTARDS won't let up :argh:

# ¿ May 25, 2017 22:50

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Holy poo poo my mom just texted me, her sister / my aunt went to school & graduated with Quist. I just looked him up and he was born in the same small rear end town that my mom's family is from.

That explains why said aunt has been a complete firebrand on facebook comment threads the past weeks and especially last night. I feel dumb for not noticing that earlier

# ¿ May 25, 2017 23:35

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Propaganda Hour posted:

All politics is local

Cut Bank, MT is a great example of a dying rural town. It had an oil boom a long time ago and by the time my mom was coming of age that industry was already on the decline, and now it's long gone. I remember around ~1990 we were visiting and everyone there was really excited & a little proud because a McDonalds decided to open a shop there. They closed it out due to slow business a handful of years later.

My mom visited there last year and she didn't like to linger on describing how empty and quiet it was because it made her so sad to see the environment of her youth turned into that.

# ¿ May 25, 2017 23:53

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

I would write/call this week but my senators are:

- Jeff Flake, 100% behind trump, and who was tragically bludgeoned over the head by large sacks of money and doctors fear he is no longer able to comprehend criticism

- John McCain, whose concern for the righteousness of my appeals would be second to nothing in this world, save only to his unwillingness to do a single thing about it.

# ¿ May 26, 2017 01:20

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

ZorajitZorajit posted:

e: Dog tax

IMO it's bullshit that we have to pay a dog tax while dogs themselves get to remain blissfully ignorant of the political hell we are in.

# ¿ May 26, 2017 22:11

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Hastings posted:

Also, I want to punch Kushner so so unbelievably hard in his smug face.

Run for office first or else you could get in trouble for that

# ¿ May 27, 2017 00:41

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

In the Trump/Bluth fiction Jared is definitely, 100% Tobias F�nke.

I'm imagining a classic misunderstanding scenario where some russian agent was making conversation with him and started dropping all circuitous language and had a more direct exchange like this:

Agent: So I can--how you say, 'scratch your back'...?
Kush: Oh yes, I could really use that! My lumbar is killing me, do you use hot stones?
Agent: Uhh, am not certain what 'hot stones' is, but *looks around* I can get you back channel in Russia.
Kush: Oh, I don't know if I've heard of those, are they the curved stick things?
Agent: *uncertain stare*
Kush: Nevermind, I've probably never seen one if they are only available in Russia. Oh, what the hell, yes!! I'd be very interested in this back channel

# ¿ May 27, 2017 01:21

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Krispy Kareem posted:

Edit: where did the 'nothing matters' start? Was it SNL or did someone say it before then?

I love this part. You're gonna love it too.

Are you ready?

https://twitter.com/bencjacobs/status/692155362552778752

# ¿ May 27, 2017 01:23

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Arturo Ui posted:

This one's a little older and I remember it getting posted in this forum

https://twitter.com/EricTeetsel/status/689120119989997568

Dang I didn't know about this one. Though he might have begun it, I'd argue the expression got refined and picked up speed by Jacobs' tweet.

"Nothing Matters" coming from Jeb's(!) camp is really poetic as well. It's a win/win

# ¿ May 27, 2017 01:43

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Kekekela posted:

oh god lmao "the president and a small group of people know exactly what it meant"

spicey doubling down on #covfefe

Good lord the amount of insecurity they have is mesmerizing.

Why not just make a statement like: "The president obviously meant 'coverage' and had more to write but, as we've all experienced, he had a little fumble with the phone after being interrupted because of (afghanistan news, or really any excuse they care to make up that's more important than loving shitposting on twitter) and was occupied by that for a while before he could find time to go back and realize the erroneous tweet was actually sent out"

How hard is that?

# ¿ May 31, 2017 20:06

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Yeah maybe just the locations near me were top notch or something but in the spectrum of fast food you can do a lot worse than Arby's, i've always been a little miffed with the Daily Show's weird infatuation with giving them poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2017 01:02

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Covok posted:

That Italian Prime Minister who hosed all the super models and had 100 mistresses probably ranks up there.

I don't know too much about ~~Burlesque Pony~~ Berlusconi but I'd say he was more your garden variety fella who was highly corrupt and overindulgent and just found himself into way too much power. He definitely ranks but I think his delusions are at least 2 orders of magnitude lower than Trump.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2017 20:46

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

https://twitter.com/realpresssecbot/status/872085930890338304

https://twitter.com/realpresssecbot/status/872087188841701376

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 14:48

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Our president, within 5 months of entering office, will live-tweet public testimony about his own obstruction of justice, presumably heckling, starkly gainsaying, and generally making GBS threads on what's being said in realtime. Testimony being given by the former director of the FBI who refused to participate in said obstruction and was fired likely because of that choice (another instance of obstruction?)...And the obstruction is aimed at a multi-faceted investigation dealing with his election campaign and transition team, and their deep ties to our nation's largest enemy and possible manipulation of our election.

If I went back in time 4 years and published a book on the above I would be rightly panned as a lovely left wing self-indulgent hack of a writer.

Bhaal fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Jun 6, 2017

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 18:00

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

gregday posted:

https://twitter.com/jonkarl/status/872217811120160769

# ¿ Jun 6, 2017 23:30

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

What are the chances that Trump is under an investigation, but Comey would have maintained otherwise?

Also I started to re-watch The Thick of It. It is really cathartic right now and we are blessed that there is no Malcom Tucker running around to do damage control on the WH's endless fuckups. Even if you've seen it before, I recommend it. it has matured very well in light of our daily circus of political insanity.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 23:41

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

America.txt

quote:
and she trusts that Rogers, whom she has also voted for, knows what he�s doing. She gets most her news from his weekly emails to constituents

Sometimes I fantasize about coming up with a series of uncontroversial books for children up to young adults that have whatever stories and settings will appeal to a generation or three of youngsters, but also subtly teaches fundamentals of critical thinking that will hopefully serve as a levy against them giving in to loving idiocy in their adulthood.

To teach about considering sources:

The lovable protagonist--A bunny named Hoppers McFluffikins--hears widely different opinions from his 3 best friends about the new neighbor that moved into the Happy Hills warren. Friend One says the neighbor had a basket full of carrots that he shared with everyone. Friend Two says the food was stolen from other rabbits, and poisoned, and so we shouldn't trust his goodwill. Friend Three says the new neighbor is actually working for the foxes, and will soon lure other bunnies out of the warren with trickery and promises so the foxes can stay fed!

Through the story Hoppers discovers that Friend Two only heard from someone else that the food was stolen/poisoned (and later Hopper discovers that bunny was jealous of the attention the new neighbor got for their largesse), but Friend One was there for the food being shared, and ate some. And they never got sick or know of anyone that got sick. And it turns out that Friend Three got the details of the frightful plot about the foxes from Old Hare Harrison, who everyone in the warren agreed doesn't ever make much sense and was never the same after that day when a horse stepped on his head and put him in a 2 moon slumber.

In the end Hoppers McFluffikins decides to befriend the new neighbor, who it turns out is a very nice fellow who is not dangerous at all. And so he learns to be cautious of what he hears, because it turned out Friend Two and Friend Three were full of poo poo and believe anything they hear.

Bhaal fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Jun 8, 2017

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 02:20

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Testimony had the expected impact on the few brokebrain trumpers on my FB wall:

quote:

Comey is a freaking idiot puppet... fired for his inability to do his job when it meant investigating the "hand that feeds him" ... and now crying sour grapes like a disgruntled employee.... lmao !!! I'm just waiting for the "but he started it" like a kid in front of his parents!!!

quote:

First Comey broke the law making his July speech because that is not his job and he protected Lynch, Clintons ect. They called for a special prosecutor but HE said there was no case. Now he is saying he was in fear of Trump. What an absolute joke. Double Standards is amazing.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 18:58

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Dogwood Fleet posted:

Okay, I read through the last several pages and may have missed this, but why did Eichenwald even bring up tentacle porn in a long series of tweets?

This loving timeline...

Late last night he posted a screenshot of his browser, it was in reference to some other drat thing but people noticed he had another tab open to hentai (and it took all of 4 seconds for the internet to track down the exact stuff he was looking at)

Instead of ignoring it or just saying "yeah well the internet does strange things to one's curiosity, whoops" or anything else sensible he has come up with an elaborate story about how he was winning an argument with his wife/family that tentacle porn exists and forgot to close that tab after said argument was concluded (even though there's a considerably tame wikipedia page talking about the industry of tentacle porn, and plus the hentai he had open had no tentacles in it)

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 19:07

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Fitzy Fitz posted:

I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering why Kasowitz double-spaces after periods.

If you formally learned to type during/before the 90s that was drilled into your skull. I still do it and will probably never break myself of it.

cr0y posted:

For us laypeople what happens next?

Legally this was a nothing burger with a kid's sized side of mattering fries.

Politically this was a pretty strong success and will be mined for compelling narratives to further erode the public image of trump, his cronies, and the GOP. But we aren't likely to see the rewards from that until midterms.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 19:48

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Lemming posted:

If you edit this post, you'll see there's a double space in what you wrote. If you look at it on the normal page, you'll see there's only one.

That's because the browser knows you're wrong but doesn't want to embarrass you.

I'm feeling kind today so I think I will send a copy of my browser to Kurt Eichenwald

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 19:54

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Nah.

I did professional fundraising work and the most effective asks for people who are already supporters are always: "Something unstoppable is coming. We're doomed."

To motivate them to go "OH YEAH? I BET WE CAN STOP THE UNSTOPPABLE THING!"

Went to facebook shortly after reading and immediately saw this ad.

Granted it is a very close race, but I'm 2000+ miles away!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 20:27

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Filthy Hans posted:

This image was from the tab Kurt had the presence of mind to close before taking that screenshot.

Dude likes what he likes

# ¿ Jun 8, 2017 23:52

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Spaced God posted:

https://twitter.com/CNNPolitics/status/873242291904946176
yes yes yes yes

"In your estimation, a well-made bed in a high end russian hotel would be structurally able to support approximately how many russian ladies standing on it at once?"

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 19:26

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

botany posted:

an hour ago mate

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/874309930232184833

I can't find anything but appropriateness from this so I'm going to assume it was a staff tweet.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2017 19:26

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

I do not like to think about what would happen if he did fire Mueller and congress decided to do nothing about it. Our dark timeline has recently been taking a few turns through a few of the hopeful / humorous forks in the road, but that would set us back down a pretty dark branch again.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 00:56

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Sessions saying he won't get involved with Mueller firing. Does that mean it would have to be Rosenstein?

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 20:24

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

So is the basic game here that he is hiding behind a combination of (1) his recusal, (2) semi invoking executive privilege of what he discussed with POTUS, (3) his swiss cheese memory and �\_(ツ)_/�?

Dang the elf has been angered!

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 20:54

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Madkal posted:

Anyone else smelling grilled elf?

It's alternating with handjobs and then being compared to a confederate hero so I don't think he gives a poo poo.

What even is the procedure if he refuses to answer with flimsy pretenses? I would assume there's a contempt-like rule you can run afoul of

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 21:02

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 10:21

Bhaal: Jul 13, 2001; I ain't going down alone; Dr. Infant, MD

Heck Yes! Loam! posted:

Did he just connect the russian intelligence to the campaign?

Yaaaarp god I wish these guys got more time because he is juggling too many falsehoods to keep them all straight if grilled long enough.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 21:20

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