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hihifellow posted:I've made a bridge for everyone to join to discuss and collaborate on the ongoing issues around the thread migration. I won't be joining as I have other duties to attend to committing boardroom seppuku I've delegated this call to one of my team who knows nothing about this project so I have plausible deniability, please forward the invite to them as I'm too important to do it myself.
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Jan 1, 2018 17:49
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Knormal posted:Tell them you did as requested and ordered the biggest computer you could find. Insufficient computer.  Please note that this computer also replaces the break area.
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Jan 2, 2018 12:00
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Knormal posted:Just set up hundreds of wi-fi networks in your own building so the odds of the one across the street showing up in the first screen of results on anyone's device is really low. This is clearly the best plan. Just present it to HR along with the cost for 500 access points, an appropriate number of power strips, potential electricity costs and note that microwave radiation is different to WiFi and so there's no risk of liquifying everyone's internal organs and you should be good.
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Jan 28, 2018 12:18
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# I killed a goose today / oh boy # kicked out it's guts and beak and poop and skin
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Dec 21, 2018 17:40
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vibur posted:Well, that explains the feces. Perfect.
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Dec 21, 2018 23:54
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Weatherman posted:I had it mentioned this evening that infrastructure is a cost centre unlike those SalesForce wizards who generate revenue. I used to get this when giving Finance the number of people we needed to run all our call centre and processing/email handling operations. Yeah, you know what, it costs a lot for this multinational company to deal with all these customer contacts. Unfortunately the product is, essentially, the advice we offer over the phone, so unless you want to change the entire business either pay for the people you need or sell less of the product so you need fewer people. Yes this is a cost centre but it is also your goddamned product.
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Jan 11, 2019 15:26
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:All these 24 standards are poo poo, we should make a new standard that addresses all the previous issues. There are now 25 competing standards. I am in favour of removing Shodan's ethical constraints to deal with robocallers. The inevitable destruction of humanity is a reasonable price.
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Mar 13, 2019 12:25
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bell jar posted:One of my old jobs was fun because of all the people who'd insist when they were talking to our Indian employees that our call centre was outsourced, only to have one of our non-Indian managers take over the call and tell them to stop being racist. When I worked at a bank, we had one guy, literally one, with an Indian name and accent and the poo poo he had to deal with was unreal. So many people going "Oh yeah, what's the weather like in NOTTINGHAM then if that's where you are" and making out they couldn't understand him to try and get to talk to someone less brown when he was perfectly comprehensible. His line manager ended up terminating at least one customer's account because they were so racist towards him. In conclusion, people are awful.
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May 14, 2019 10:02
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Schadenboner posted:I mean, bleak and post-industrial? I mean we were bang in the city centre so it was actually quite nice
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May 15, 2019 12:38
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GreenNight posted:We have zero log retention so we’re saving all the money. Who was it who was accused of entrapment for turning on logging?
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Jun 4, 2019 15:38
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Zereth posted:I can't figure out how to get it to accept my password It's just ten characters with a capital letter and a number, oh and you have to have one letter in your password from your email address. That's logical passwordery.
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Jul 10, 2019 10:22
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Zereth posted:It just says my password is not unsafe in red when i try to proceed Your password not being unsafe should be fine. Did you make sure to uncheck that you don't accept the T&Cs (this site really is glorious)
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Jul 10, 2019 14:04
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MF_James posted:Ticket metrics are useful, but you can't look at them in a vacuum. This is the same for literally every productivity metric ever and it's infuriating to me that managers almost always just go "faster equals better, kick the slow people in the teeth until they game the system" instead of going "hey why is Steve doing three million widgets an hour when the median is forty, maybe we should look at what he's doing"
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Jul 25, 2019 19:12
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Schadenboner posted:Except that the median will invariably be (re-)set to Steve. It's funny, the only place I've seen productivity metrics used remotely smartly is sales areas. Who, of course, ignore everything apart from money generated but will absolutely question people who could have made MORE money if they'd gone at the average pace.
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Jul 25, 2019 19:16
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Thanks Ants posted:I gave up fighting the uphill battle that was trying to get people to put agendas in meeting invites I had a boss who just didn't show up to meetings without an agenda. I wish I had enough fucks left to do this instead of just going to to the meetings and then using the wasted two hours as a reason I've not finished another piece of work.
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Jul 30, 2019 08:34
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I bet it's that teacher holed up in the store cupboard Edit: this was about the larches thing. Stupid me didn't check for extra pages
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Aug 12, 2019 19:21
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Test wise, I'm not strictly speaking the target audience for this thread, but at my last job I had to do a simple forecasting test (here's five datasets, pick one and forecast it out for three years. Dead easy, I did all five because I'm a show off. I found out after I got the job that they introduced that test because the previous guy aced the competency based interview and then once he started couldn't do the actual job AT ALL. We're talking "could barely do sums in excel" bad. He was gone inside of three months, hence the vacancy.
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Nov 16, 2019 12:21
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I find it weird that I seem to be the only person I know who uses Shift-Delete/Ctrl-Insert/Shift-Insert for cut/copy/paste. Was there some point where those were the only way of doing cut/copy/paste or something because I can't think why I do that instead of Ctrl-X/C/V.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:06
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Arquinsiel posted:Mech-based affinity for the right hand side of the keyboard? Nah, Mechwarrior 2 was like 95? I would have been using Windows 3.0 and 3.1/11 before that.
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Nov 20, 2019 16:25
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My last but one employer had someone with the login ID "poologs". That one always made me giggle because it's so childish.
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Nov 7, 2020 11:21
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RFC2324 posted:I am extremely fond of the script command. Record every drat thing I do for CYA purposes? yes please! Sounds like entrapment to me
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Feb 27, 2021 18:24
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kensei posted:Someone today tried to print a 2.2GB 3,667 page document. Of course, since that ran the printer out of paper, everyone else tried to print their jobs multiple times too. FFS. When did this person think they were going to have the time to actually read this document
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May 22, 2021 15:12
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Slate Slabrock posted:I did not get paid on Friday. Well, I did I guess, but my direct deposit got deposited directly into someone else's account. An HR manager (not even my HR person, one from a different site) forwarded an email thread where "I" requested a direct deposit change. Please god let this have consequences
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Jul 5, 2021 12:11
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Arquinsiel posted:I used to get that on LinkedIn all the time for some reason. I had an actual in person friend of mine do this. Dude started working at a b2b telecoms company and gave me his card, said if my company (a big six energy firm where I was, at the time, middle management at best) was looking to get new mobile phone or land-line contracts or change phone platform to let him know. Dude, I barely get to decide what my own six direct reports do, why would you think I could make any decision on those sort of purchases for a multinational with tens of thousands of employees?
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Aug 5, 2021 14:22
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A ticket came in. It looked oddly familiar so I checked the user's previous tickets and she had submitted a near identical one a month ago. She was informed at that time that the thing she was reporting was working as intended and as requested at the design phase, that she what she wanted was a change request and she should submit it as such. So she just waited a month and asked for the same thing again. Fucks sake.
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Aug 11, 2021 19:34
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El Jebus posted:I hope your reponse is "Objection: asked and answered." It was a link to the original ticket, a copy/paste of the previous response and screaming "for fucks sake" into the void. Yours is better.
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Aug 11, 2021 19:39
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Arquinsiel posted:Next month reply with "see previous two responses" and CC her boss. Oh her boss and my boss are both well aware of all this nonsense, and this isn't the only grief she's given the team either. Tiresome. Incredibly tiresome.
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Aug 11, 2021 20:17
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A ticket finally came in. A user has been doing his damndest to circumvent our feature addition process (which is as simple as submit ticket, we prioritise the work, then we do the work) because he doesn't want to wait. He's gone as far as contacting the business partner at our supplier who we kind of need doing other things right now. Yesterday he finally submitted a ticket. Unfortunately instead of submitting it for the changes he wants he's spat his dummy out and submitted a ticket saying our system is not fit for purpose and needs to be replaced entirely.
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Sep 15, 2021 13:43
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Sywert of Thieves posted:Sounds a bit like my kid, who has to practically be forced to sit on the can before we have dinner, then refuses to sit on it for longer than 5 seconds, comes to sit at the dinner table, and then runs to the bathroom again 5 minutes later because now he has to pee for real and it's all our fault. Yeah, I'm still relatively new here but I'm going to kick this to my boss to have a word with HIS boss. I mean I've seen unprofessional behaviour before but I genuinely stared open mouthed at the ticket. Imagine being an adult human being with a long career and thinking THIS is how you should behave. nexxai posted:holy gently caress this would be an instant client termination everywhere i have ever worked The business partner was OK with it, he likes to be helpful. But ooof, no, don't do that.
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Sep 15, 2021 18:25
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Fil5000 posted:A ticket finally came in. A user has been doing his damndest to circumvent our feature addition process (which is as simple as submit ticket, we prioritise the work, then we do the work) because he doesn't want to wait. He's gone as far as contacting the business partner at our supplier who we kind of need doing other things right now. Yesterday he finally submitted a ticket. Unfortunately instead of submitting it for the changes he wants he's spat his dummy out and submitted a ticket saying our system is not fit for purpose and needs to be replaced entirely. Update - apparently he's now raised a support ticket directly with the supplier. This is ridiculous. How is this happening
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Sep 29, 2021 10:55
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AlexDeGruven posted:Management above him is failing and he now knows he can get away with poo poo like this. One of my coworkers is in the office with his manager and has forwarded this whole thing on to her, and she's VERY apologetic and it's all going to be actually dealt with. Apparently. I'm not holding my breath.
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Sep 29, 2021 11:21
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Sunblood posted:Total call/ticket count from users calling about Facebook being down yesterday: 14. Was it affecting production
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Oct 5, 2021 16:19
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Fil5000 posted:Update - apparently he's now raised a support ticket directly with the supplier. This is ridiculous. How is this happening Update update - it doesn't appear anyone's spoken to him. After his ticket raised directly with the supplier didn't get the result he wanted they closed it. And sent him a survey. Which he responded to with zeroes. So now our business partner's director is getting involved. A genuine cluster gently caress, I've never seen the like.
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Oct 5, 2021 16:25
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I entirely agree
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Oct 5, 2021 18:10
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duffmensch posted:People like that are why I was so happy to find out that pressing F3 would cause Aspect to disconnect the call without recording that you hung up on them. The notion that you're not allowed to hang up on people is sheer madness. I worked in debt collection for a while and if I'd been banned from terminating calls I would have had a breakdown I think.
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Oct 23, 2021 19:13
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GreenNight posted:There are few things I won't do for a job and I think debt collection is one of them. Yeah, I think I'd rather shovel poo poo than do it ever again. At the time it got me out of a really crappy retail job and into something with reasonable hours and a pension though.
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Oct 23, 2021 19:40
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I spent basically an entire day in meetings and working on an issue for the system I support that turned out to be pretty much entirely a) issues with the data loaded into it and b) someone having made an accounting entry they shouldn't have done. A day of trying to work out what had suddenly broken when the answer was "nothing, some people made some mistakes". Despite everyone affected treating this as a critical systems failure guess how many tickets have been raised
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Nov 12, 2021 08:48
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larchesdanrew posted:This is my first time being contacted by recruiters and I’ve learned that recruiters are loving awful. I’ve had the same person contact me 4 times since yesterday for basically call-center jobs because no one understands hierarchy I guess? Unless you're dealing with a boutique recruiter for the specific elements of your industry they're going to be garbage. They don't understand who you are or what the job involves, they're just yelled at by management to put a warm body in the job hole so they can get their commission and bollocks to whether or not its a good fit.
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Feb 1, 2022 17:37
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"why does nobody send thank you notes after interviews any more" gently caress you, that's why. I'm not going to be pathetically grateful that you'd even consider me, either employ me based on my demonstrated skills or don't.
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Feb 19, 2022 19:07
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sixth and maimed posted:Sending a 'thank you' note after interviewing (or expecting one as a company) establishes a weird power dynamic where I should feel grateful and blessed for being considered for a job. Rather than say a meeting between people that want to see if their need for a professional to help achieve their business goals aligns with my need for money. Yes, it's this. We have moved beyond the idea of a company as a 50s style fatherly figure that knows what's best, takes you in and will look after you from cradle to grave provided you behave. People expecting thank you notes are wanting to cover the nasty cracks in modern day capitalism (ie that businesses are inhuman monoliths that consume employee labour to excrete profit and will throw away people the second their cost outweighs their utility) with a veneer of decorum. I have come to accept that if I want money I need to exchange my time and skills for it, and that companies will ditch me as soon as someone needs to make some lines on spreadsheet balance. This relationship is entirely transactional, and I refuse to pretend otherwise.
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Feb 21, 2022 10:48
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