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Deep, deep in the farthest reaches of space, cosmic Jim turns its gaze towards Earth 43, imbuing that world's Jim with incredible pranking energy. As Jim skids his car into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot at 60 mph to try to avoid being late, he accidentally runs over Charles Miner. Jim sits in shock for a moment. Then, as a smirk slowly, slowly creeps across his face, Jim softly whispers " talk about a rundown huh?" Jim then screams as an uninjured Charles Miner gets up and scowls at Jim for being late. Deep, deep in the farthest reachs of space, Cosmic Jim senses a familiar presence.
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Jul 14, 2022 01:22
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 23:07 |
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Cosmic Jim becomes aware of the universe in the center of the multiverse. A place where Dunder Mifflin only exists as a tv show and "Jim" is an actor named John who has no pranking prowess whatsoever. This interference with the central reality sparks the Final Crisis of Infinite Jims, available now as a 10 issue limited series at your local comic shop!
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Jul 27, 2022 14:57
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Jim latches his hands around Dwight's windpipe, squeezing with every bit of manic strength he can muster. Everyone is too startled to intervene as Dwight's face turns red and he starts convulsing. Jim screams, every vein on his face and arms popping from the strain. "It's just a prank man! Just a harmless prank!" Michael watches from his office, trying to decide what to do as Dwight's bladder releases.
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Aug 5, 2022 18:29
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Jim walks into the office and shoots Dwight square between the eyes with a .357 revolver. Jim turns and mugs the camera, taking a few minutes to think of a gun related quip since he got up late and didn't game this out beforehand. Michael takes notice of this and stealthy looks at his watch. After 3 full minutes have passed, he clears his throat. "Uh Jim? You didn't say this was a prank". Jim looks horrified as he realizes his mistake. Pam starts screaming that Jim murdered Dwight, while Oscar moves quickly to disarm a stunned Jim. Michael is crying as he calls the police. " Finally. Finally it's over".
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Aug 5, 2022 18:38
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The assassination of Jim by the coward Michael Scott.
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Aug 5, 2022 19:11
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The Awesomesaurus posted:Jim makes a deal with God, and gets him to swap their (Jim and Dwight’s) places. Dwight, having anticipated this, leaves Shrute farms to Jim Halpert in his will before God does the body swap.
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Aug 17, 2022 18:15
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Jim announces the he's going to be calling the Schotts from now on. Dwight appreciates Jim finally taking some initiative and taking care of thier largest east coast client.
Fell Mood fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Aug 23, 2022 |
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Aug 23, 2022 18:51
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The Hello Machine posted:Jim finishes the coffee and doesn't start a new pot! I've seem some twisted poo poo in this thread, but only just now did it hit home what a loving rear end in a top hat Jim is.
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Aug 24, 2022 05:07
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Dwight, a man who stands outside of society and is tortured by an unyielding moral code and who exerts the full exhaustive effort of his will every waking moment to try to make the world a better place, a place that makes sense. Jim, who believes that trying to make sense of this fallen, prank filled world is a fundamental act of arrogance and hubris, who has embraced the absurdity of pranks and desperately wants Dwight to understand the futility of his (Dwights) efforts. And of course, Commissioner Michael, who's supposed to be in charge of this mess but is pretty much useless.
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Aug 25, 2022 13:30
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jazzyhattrick posted:Commissioner Michael, craven, feckless and wearing an I'm with Harvey T-Shirt. Pam sits at her desk watching the scene in front of her as she idly strokes the leaves of the potted plant on her desk. Plants never lecture her. Plants never spend all her money. If only plants could be her friend. She thinks it's time to reinvent herself, change her name, but nothing too extreme. Maybe Pamela?
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Aug 25, 2022 13:42
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Phyllis is the Harley Quinn of the office, but Jim just had to have Pam didn't he.
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Aug 25, 2022 13:48
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poisonpill posted:I just want to make sure my tally is right. Remember that you live in the extended Jim multiverse. The pranks outlined in this thread aren't all about a single Jim. There are infinite Jim's pranking infinite Dwight's across the dimensions.
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Aug 26, 2022 16:01
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Charles Miner is visiting the office and goes around shaking everyone's hand before he gets down to the days business. When he reaches Jim's desk, Charles offers his hand, only to jerk it back and say "sike" as Jim misses the handshake. "What do you think Jim? I thought I'd try my hand at pranking and see what all the fuss is about. " As Charles Miner makes uninterrupted, unblinking eye contact while waiting for a response, Jim can see no way out. He slowly presses his tounge against one of the cyanide capsules embedded in his wisdom teeth.
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Aug 31, 2022 17:08
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Jim wakes up 3 hours later lying on the table in the conference room. A makeshift IV bag is hanging from the back of a chair, with a line going to a needle in Jim's arm. SODIUM NITRITE is written on the bag. Suddenly Jim feels a shadow looming over him. "So, do you have that rundown?"
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Aug 31, 2022 17:13
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Stuffguyman posted:Jim designs an elaborate Rube-Goldberg machine that kicks Dwight in the balls. After three years, the lead engineer (a former Tesla employee who thinks even this poo poo is better than working for Musk) has come up with a Rube Goldberg design where every third step in the chain involves the machine contacting or grazing Dwight's balls, until the cumulation where a mechanical leg kicks him full force dead center in the ball sack. He confidently informs Jim that this is the best they, or any other contractor, will be able to do. Jim reviews three years of work that cost him over a million in engineer salaries and sighs. The next day a dejected Jim comes in super early and simply kicks Dwight in the balls as Dwight is unlocking the office.
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Sep 1, 2022 17:44
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Everything on this page from A Fancy Hat has been great.
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Sep 16, 2022 18:38
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While rummaging thru the office fridge for a lunch to steal, Jim noticed that Dwight had brought a bowl of Jello from home to have for an afternoon snack. Jim ponders this for a moment before realizing what he must do. When Dwight opens the refrigerator that afternoon, he discovers a single stapler placed neatly on top of the bowl.
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Sep 28, 2022 18:13
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After years of being called balloon boy, Dwight starts calling Jim Jimmy so they both have a nickname. Jim gets real quiet and goes to file an official HR complaint.
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Sep 28, 2022 22:11
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I check this thread every day. The insane world of Dunder Mifflin gets more and more fleshed out. Surely this creativity flows from the wellspring of some ancient archetype and folklore. Anyway just like Snow White and Cinderella, the old folk tales are more interesting. I barely remember the TV show that was inspired by the stories being recounted here.
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Oct 14, 2022 14:16
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim straps dwight into a sinister machine Dwight, a man of culture and taste, compliments Jim on his handiwork, commenting on the effort required to design and build a machine from scratch. Jim blushes slightly as he starts pushing buttons and levers. The machine starts to emit a sinister hum.
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Oct 14, 2022 16:41
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Jim starts calling Dwight Jwight. Afterwards Jim jams jello into Jwights jowls.
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Oct 25, 2022 07:01
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Jim nails the Probert Enterprise to Dwight. It's very painful having the model nailed into his back, but still Dwight feels like the ultimate Trek fan until a nacelle snaps off as he tries to maneuver thru a doorway.
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Oct 25, 2022 14:00
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Dwight wears a diaper to work as it's just too risky to leave his computer for the bathroom.
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Oct 31, 2022 19:49
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Jim, a member of a powerful race of paper salesmen, is sent to earth as a child to corner the market on galactic paper. He unfortunately hits his head on a rock, the brain damage changing his naturally serious nature into that of a unrelenting goofball. To make matters worse this orphaned alien is found and raised by a powerful prankster. Twenty years later, Charles Miner and Dwight travel to earth to see why no sales reports have been coming in, and to investigate legends of the mysterious rundown.
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Dec 21, 2022 16:27
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LaserPrinter69 posted:Jim faces Dwight and yawns deeply. He starts slowly by opening his jaw, then squints his eyes and shuts them as he takes in a deep breath in a full yawn while making the yawning sound. Jim knows that seeing another person yawn, or even visualizing someone yawning deeply, will cause that person to also yawn. Sure enough Dwight begins to yawn. Jim mugs the 4th wall at the reader who's attempting to stifle a yawn of their own. It worked and I'm kinda mad about it.
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Jan 8, 2023 03:31
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While Dwight is in his yard practicing his archery hobby, Jim uses a slingshot to fire his real, actual glans into Dwight's crossbow.
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Jan 9, 2023 20:51
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The next day Dwight comforts Jim telling him he's the world's greatest living prankster as far as Dwight's concerned.
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Feb 5, 2023 07:10
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Jim dies intestate. This isn't a prank he was just inconsiderate.
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Mar 17, 2023 05:39
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Dwight tells a small lie and confides to Michael that as a child he was always creeped out by mimes. Jim of course has the entire office bugged. These bugs are connected to the office network, and the data is downloaded to Jim's computer where a fairly advanced AI called H.A.L.P.E.R.T. (Human Assistant Logical Pranking Expert for Rapid Tricking) assists Jim by searching for keywords and logging timestamps. Jim receives notices and a short voice clip everytime Dwight mentions something that annoys or frightens him. Dwight doesn't care about mimes one way or the other, and the office experiences blessed silence for a month as Jim pretends to be a mime. (Trivia note. This is one of the earliest appearances of HALPERT on the show. Astute fans will recall that in later seasons the AI could determine if a person was lying to avoid false positives.)
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Apr 5, 2023 13:40
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Applewhite posted:Jim summons "Captain Pepperoni" to "pep up" Dwight's safety presentation. Jim sees Toby walk to the bathroom and follows in after him. While standing at the urinal beside Toby, and making direct eye contact, Jim pisses in his pants since he can't take his sausage out.
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Apr 7, 2023 18:33
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LaserPrinter69 posted:(Jim knows the side gate is left unlocked, but he prefers cutting the fence) A pure distillation of who Jim is.
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Apr 12, 2023 15:02
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Applewhite posted:Jim breaks the coffee machine then gathers everyone in the office together to ask who broke it in the hopes of causing a big fight. For several days now, everything Jim touches is encased in jello, from door handles to computer mouses. Everyone assumes this is a prank. Jim sadly smirks as he attempts to eat his lunch.
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Apr 20, 2023 00:00
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I feel a little disturbed, like I've read a good horror short story from a real author.
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Apr 27, 2023 21:11
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Dwight steps out of his house one morning, and looks up to see that the sun has been replaced with Jim's head. The bright yellow flaming head appears to be screaming, but no sound is heard. A familiar wave of utter existential dread washes over Dwight, like an ant looking up at the crushing foot of an elephant. From long experience he forces the feeling down and shows no emotion, or any indication that anything is wrong at all. Stealing a second glance at the sky, Dwight can't really tell how big or far away Jim is. Jim's head might be a few hundred feet wide and far away, or he might have actually replaced the sun and now Jim is thousands of times larger than earth. Dwight looks for the real sun for a moment before deciding it doesn't matter and heads to work. Later in an interview segment, Jim is gushing to the camera crew about his "Rick and Morty" prank harassing Dwight all day, when the camera man tells Jim that there is no air between the earth and the sun, so they couldn't hear Jim's screaming and just stayed inside all day until nightfall.
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Jun 1, 2023 16:19
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"Wow! This city's really gone to the dogs huh?" Jim screams as he is ripped to pieces. Dwight watches the grizzly scene from the 3rd floor of Dunder Mifflin while sipping his coffee. He knows that Jim won't respawn until the morning, and idly ponders leaving early to get some uninterrupted work done at the farm. Fell Mood fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Jun 1, 2023 |
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Jun 1, 2023 18:21
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poisonpill posted:Dwight is a lawful good dual-classed Paladin/Druid, though?? As Dwight reads out his character sheet, Cosmic Jim realizes he's in the wrong universe. He departs for another dnd game elsewhere, but not before giving this Dwight a wedgie.
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Sep 20, 2023 20:24
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When Jim gets up to go to the bathroom, Dwight looks over at the notebook Jim was scribbling in all morning. There's a couple of prank ideas, but circled at the bottom are the words "use beets as anal beads?". Dwight is still staring at the page with a deep frown as Jim walks back to his desk.
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Dec 5, 2023 20:10
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Erasable Penis posted:Even more concerning is the check mark next to it. You got an actual laugh out of me. gently caress my coworkers can never know what I'm reading about.
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Dec 5, 2023 23:03
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It's Christmas morning, and Jim carefully watches the clock while Pam and the kids open their presents. At 7:30 he sighs and heads out to his car. He must be at the office by 8 to give Dwight his present. Jim pulls into the almost deserted parking lot then steps into the building. Inside Dwight and Charles Miner are standing in the lobby. The three men are the only ones there. After a moment of awkward silence, Charles Miner asks "Jim, do you finally have that rundown?" Jim grits his teeth and slowly nods his head from side to side. Solemnly, Charles Miner turns and tells Dwight "Merry Christmas". Dwight then walks up and kicks Jim in the balls.
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Dec 25, 2023 08:11
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Capt. Jim pushes a button on his chair and teleports Dwight outside the ship for about ten seconds.
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Jan 16, 2024 05:26
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