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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim walks backwards into the office. Jim walks into the office but Dwight notices a few things are off. Instead of the bare minimum of office attire (and rumpled at that), Jim is wearing a crisp 3 piece suit. His hair is fixed with gel and not floppy in the least. Instead of tennis shoes (which he often pairs with his birthday suit) he's sporting fine leather footware. "Looking good Jim," says Dwight, honestly impressed. "It's Mij, actually," replies Jim. "It's opposite day." Normally Dwight would reply that Jim would be Mij on Reverse day, not opposite day, but he is too shocked over a new revelation of the change in Jim/Mij's appearance. "Your teeth!" screams Dwight. "Where are all your teeth??" Mij grins a toothless smile. "Jim has perfect teeth Dwight. Not Mij." The camera begins to zoom in for the expected mugging but instead something new happens. Mij approaches the camera, mouth opening wider and wider, Mij growing closer and closer until only his uvula can be seen. And then- Mij gums the camera.
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May 26, 2022 21:25
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Jim "soups up" Dwight's trans am with an ignition-triggered bomb.
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May 31, 2022 21:53
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Jim vows to assemble the Avengers for a prank the likes of which Dwight has never seen. Unfortunately the closest he can get to Tony Stark is Elon Musk dressed as Waluigi. All of Musk's incredibly stupid inventions blow up and kill him and Jim, trapping Jim in an endless cycles of using the Eye of Agamotto to undo their pointless deaths.
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May 31, 2022 21:56
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Jim "soups up" being naked except for a pair of tennis shoes by painting himself blue (except for his arms). Mose inexplicably grows an extra tail and follows Jim everywhere.
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Jun 1, 2022 11:24
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Jim "soups up" Dwight's spirit bomb by replacing all the energy donated by countless sapient life forms with chicken noodle soup. Dwight (in Super Beetan 3 form) throws the spirit bomb only to have it land with the delicate impact of several bowls of Campbell's. After he destroys the universe, MaJim Buu mugs the camera.
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Jun 1, 2022 11:30
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Dwight "soups up" downtown Scranton by building a much-needed soup kitchen for the region's homeless. Construction is proceeding smoothly but Dwight can't help but wonder as he sees Jim drinking incredible amounts of water, becoming disturbingly bloated in the process. On opening night of Dwight's soup kitchen, bloated Jim is first in line. Dwight knows Jim isn't homeless but doesn't say anything, one less bowl of soup won't affect his mission to feed the hungry. Just as Dwight is about to ladle the first bowl, a furious stream of piss bursts forth from Jim's pants. Jim's urine fires with the force of a fire house, covering all the food, servingware, and everyone in line with urine. The beet soup Dwight had planned to serve is now at least 50% piss by volume and totally unfit to serve. Jim, having returned to normal size, mugs for the camera as he is beaten up by several hungry hobos.
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Jun 1, 2022 11:40
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Cosmic Dwight prepares a beet-based unprank that will turn the tides against- What do you think you're doing? What do you mean? If there's a Cosmic Jim, there's got to be a Cosmic Dwight, right? Nope, not how it works. Then who am I?? Maybe the accumulated memory of the thousands pranked, maybe a confused observer of the eternal Prank/Beet war, maybe a belch from the gummy-based lunches of a million JIms. Regardless, you are not my cosmic equal. Then how can anything stand against you?! That's the ultimate prank, isn't it? For all of the talk of the Beetosphere there will never be victory, only infinite sufferers of an eternity of pranks. You are the camera and I mug at thee.
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Jun 2, 2022 03:05
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Jim farts so hard he explodes, covering Dwight in gore and feces. A new Jim walks in from the breakroom, floppy as ever, and quips "What a lovely day, eh Dwight?" before mugging the camera. This is the 3,589,237,123,456th time Cosmic Jim has witnessed this particular prank and is still amused.
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Jun 2, 2022 03:09
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Applewhite posted:(That's because we all understand on an instinctive level that there is no Cosmic Dwight) lol thats what inspired me
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Jun 2, 2022 03:10
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Applewhite posted:Jim, coated with raw egg and breadcrumbs, is brutally attacked by ducks on his way to work. Dwight has the unhappy task of being Jim's emergency contact and must cut short an important client meeting to go and pick Jim up from the hospital. Jim's attending doctor (who has suspiciously floppy hair) keeps telling Dwight it will be "just a little longer" before Jim can be discharged. Dwight, after hours of being told this, is ravenously hungry. Unfortunately the rural hospital where Jim chose to be admitted only has a Chick-fil-A in the food court which Dwight refuses to dine at since he is a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights. He grows hungrier by the hour. In his hospital room, an injured Jim mugs the camera as he chows down on some Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits.
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Jun 2, 2022 06:34
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Also my phone keeps autocorrecting Jim to "Him" which is kind of disturbing in a cosmic Jim kinda way.
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Jun 2, 2022 06:36
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Applewhite posted:Jim shows up to work 1000 hours late and Dwight is powerless to punish him because the drop down menu on the digital report form only goes up to 999. Real talk for a second, my now wife and I had to file for a marriage certificate in Boston city hall. Each of us had to fill out a web form questionnaire. One of the questions was which marriage was this for you, answerable by a drop down that topped out at 10. Made us wonder what would happen if some was filling for their 11th+ marriage. Would the mayor come down and yell at you??
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Jun 2, 2022 15:38
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poisonpill posted:Jim shows up to work 1000 hours late which breaks the logic of Toby’s crappy excel sheet and makes Jim appear infinitely early. sudonim fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Jun 2, 2022 |
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Jun 2, 2022 17:31
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The Awesomesaurus posted:I love how Dwight has become this champion of human rights when he was a total chud in the show. The show was actually one of those "What if?" style spinoffs. This thread is canon.
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Jun 2, 2022 18:53
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim crawls slowly into the office, spreading slime everywhere from his single muscular foot. munching a lettuce leaf, his eyes extend on two tentacular stalks as he slugs for the camera.
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Jun 6, 2022 01:21
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Dwight spends all of Prankmas on high alert waiting for Jim's prank. Jim isn't at the office during work hours so he must be setting up something terrible. Dwight's anxiety steadily increases as he leaves the office, heads home, fixes and eats supper, and watches Battlestar episodes until the stroke of midnight. As Dwight climbs into bed he wonders if anxiety of a prank not delivered was the real prank all along. Meanwhile at the Scranton Dave & Busters, a sweat-soaked Jim feeds yet another token into the claw machine. 17 hours and he still hasn't gotten that drat whoopie cushion.
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Jun 6, 2022 01:26
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Jim is wearing an oversized large Ring Pop candy. When he turns it into the light just right, Dwight’s screaming soul can be glimpsed for a moment. Jim gives the Ring Pop an occasional lick and wears an expression of pure decadence after every one.
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Jun 6, 2022 02:39
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Jim changes everything, completely realigning the fundamental order of the universe. Jim is Pam, stapler is jello, Angela is Mose, paper is clown, and so on. Chaos reigns. Beet Dwights the camera.
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Jun 8, 2022 04:17
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Jim "soups up" Dwight's life by replacing his (Dwight's) blood with pig's blood soup, leaving him (Dwight) with barely enough hemoglobin to live a tortured existence.
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Jun 16, 2022 20:57
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Jim takes over Dwight's mind. Jwight mugs the camera.
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Jun 16, 2022 20:58
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim kicks off another iteration of the "how do you pronounce '.gif'" debate in the office, preventing anyone from getting anything done and making dwight slightly less likely to get his quarterly bonus ...OR DO THEY????
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Jun 17, 2022 19:37
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Applewhite posted:Pizza Jim and Jim are the same person and the rest of the office watch, bemused also do you ever log off this thread ...are you Jim, mugging at us??
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Jun 18, 2022 03:12
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Serge Painsbourg posted:Jim uses his Bungee Gum, which has the properties of both rubber and gum, to glue Dwight's hands to his, Dwight's, crotch. Dwight uses his hatsu, Paper-Beats-Rock, to fire a blast of nen from his palm at Jim. Jim calmly uses his hatsu Prank Hunter to materialize the book Pranker's Secret. He opens to a specific page, waves his hand, and the nen blast is blocked by a suddenly appearing wall of jello-encased staplers.
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Jun 19, 2022 01:26
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Jim uses his time ray to de-age Charles Miner to childhood, weakening him. Charles Minor still kicks Jim's rear end.
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Jun 19, 2022 01:28
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Fun owns for Charles to drop on Jim
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Jun 21, 2022 01:12
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Jim shows up to work totally nude except for a pair of tennis shoes and painted blue from head to toe (except for his arms). He runs speedy circles around Dwight while mugging the camera. "Gotta go fast, Balloon Boy!" he taunts. Charles Miner shows up to work ALSO totally nude except for a pair of tennis shoes, except he has painted himself red, grown long dreadlocks, and is wearing white boxing gloves with strange protruding lumps along the knuckles. "I don't chuckle, Jim," says Charles Miner. Then he punches Jim the gently caress out. sudonim fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Jun 22, 2022 |
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Jun 22, 2022 13:53
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Cosmic Elon also exists but he's too busy getting owned on Cosmic Twitter to get anything done.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:35
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's hemoglobin with hemogoblins, microscopic Tiny Jims that carry oxygen. However, they are lazy and incompetent, just like Jim, and Dwight eventually succumbs to exsanguination.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:38
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Three Jims go into work wearing shirts printed with "Jim," "Jiim", and "Jiiiim". They complete normal office tasks and no pranks are to be had. The real prank is Dwight's paranoia of when Jiiim will enter the scene.
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Jun 23, 2022 22:51
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The Hello Machine posted:Jim apologizes to Dwight for the years of pranking. He says he wants to put all that nastiness behind them and start over. He offers to take Dwight out for beers. Skeptical, Dwight agrees.
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Jun 28, 2022 15:34
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Like yeah it's along the east coast but it doesn't really have a shoreline (jersey is in the way)
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Jun 28, 2022 15:35
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Venom "Punished" Dwight learns that he was never the original legendary salesman. It was a prank set up by Jimcelot so that the real Big Schrute would be unopposed in forming his own paper nation, Outer Scranton (ending the abuse and exploitation of salespeople by the world's governments, based on his interpretation of The Michael's will). In light of this revelation, Kazuhira Miner resigns from Diamond Beets in disgust.
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Jun 29, 2022 01:16
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After Jim died in the gum competition, things changed at Lake Scranton. Every time Dwight went there to relax and enjoy the natural splendor, the local geese would flock toward him aggressively, nipping with their beaks and swatting with their wings. Somehow their feathers began to seem sort of...floppy??
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Jun 30, 2022 06:29
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Dwight takes Angela out to the hottest new bistro in Scranton (NOT a famous original Jim's for once) for a romantic dinner date. She orders the duck and he orders the beef Wellington and their anticipation for the meal is kept at bay with wine and flirtation. Finally the entrees arrive and Dwight's wellington looks divine; perfectly browned puff pastry surrounding rare tenderloin and luxurious duxelle. However, Dwight, stone faced, does not take a bite. "Why not?" demands Angela, who abhors wasting food. Dwight cannot tell her, for as a true gentleman he must spare her his own suffering. At a table in Dwight's line of sight behind Angela: Elon Musk dressed as Waluigi was enjoying his own dinner date with Jim dressed as Bowsette and the two are furiously making out. Dwight does his best not to vomit.
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Jul 5, 2022 05:15
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Charles Miner enters the bistro sporting denim overalls, a red long sleeve shirt, and acred cap emblazoned with an "M." He leaps Impossibly high and lands on Jim's (Bowsette's) head, causing her (him) (Jim) to retract into her (his) (Jim's) shell. Charles Miner then kicks the Bowsette she'll into Elon's (Waluigi's) nuts, causing Elon to bounce backwards, blink, and fall through the floor, defeated. Charles Miner approaches Dwight's table and offers Dwight folded clothing similar to his (Charles Miner) own, save green in the shirt and cap."I could really use a player two," he tells Dwight.
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Jul 5, 2022 05:23
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Upgrade posted:Jim travels back in time and chops off Dwight’s penis
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Jul 12, 2022 23:27
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JediTalentAgent posted:Jim will learn to live with only the memory of his precious anime, but Dwight will never know the personal joy of Battlestar Galactica.
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Jul 13, 2022 17:40
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Jim pranks him.
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Jul 14, 2022 01:09
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Applewhite posted:Dwight keeps getting pulled over because Dogcatcher Jim won't stop putting out Pitbull Alerts for Dwight's Trans Am.
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Jul 14, 2022 14:59
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 07:08 |
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Jim installs a macro o. Dwight's computer so that every keypress produces, instead of a letter, a tiny portrait of Jim mugging.
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Jul 22, 2022 05:44
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