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Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Bars and pubs shut down midday monday.

Haven't heard anything about QLD yet

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Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


ili posted:

Yeah the lack of info about what's going on in QLD is frustrating. The ex wife works/worked in a food shop so she's not sure if her work is still open or if she still has a job at this stage as all the businesses nearby are shuttering so customers are drying up. No idea if our schools are done as of Tuesday too or there's still two weeks to go. Without any concrete details it's hard to work out what to do tomorrow.

I'm trying to get some loving solid yes/no answers on what my rights are with my paid time off before I go into work tomorrow. Anticipating a full lockdown.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Turns out we are staying open as we aren't really public facing and even if we close, all leave will be paid out first to lessen the risk of staff going under financially. I've got quite a lot of holiday and medical leave banked up so its nice to feel semi ok - boss even said it's a perfect time to do some serious internal audits/stocktakes on our warehouses which I've been screaming for over the last few years. Also some IT and machinery infrastructure upgrades/services. A lot of that will also involve other local companies keep staff employed as we contract them to us.

Godspeed goons in not as good a position!

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Infinitum posted:

Fired an entire manufacturing division today.

Then I got in my car drove around the corner and just cried my eyes out.

Literally don't even remember driving home today.

Likely to be out of a job by weeks end.

I'm so loving tired.

We sent a few home too. Boss keeps saying we are quiet, but gently caress off I've been too drat busy to even take a lunch break. Although I did overhear owner and his son saying they are going to break out the BBQ on friday morning. I've been with this company for 5 years and they've never held a BBQ on site. Who knows whats happening.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Megabound posted:

Just voted, gently caress the QLD government for not postponing or moving to postal.

I'm still voting in person for the sole satisfaction of telling the wankers who have the flyers to gently caress off out of my personal space. And scrawl over the ballots.

We had to let the new guy go today, is a shame as he is a nice bloke. The boss is just playing it safe and getting rid of new extras it seems now. I went over the stats for my department and I'm busier than over summer which is odd, also my projections are still going up.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Raged posted:

drat near cried when I went back to Bathurst to and the Woolies there had big roll.



Move into the new house and the last fucker who lived here took the NBN HFC modem with them even though it had a big ole label saying "PROPERTY OF THE NBN".

Now I have to wait for NBN tech and pray they get here for NSW goes into total lockdown. Dont make me go through lockdown without the ability to stream TV 24/7. Free to air is sooooo bad.

My neighbours are experiencing the wonders of my Plex server. I'm experiencing user management and bandwidth allocation. Yelling out "oi no 4K oval office" out the window is helping,

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


We commisioned an app dev to make a tracker app for the virus:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1aNBIxsTQPEWrUwusG94P5NXWV_re8cyF

Download at own risk obviously. Only works on Android. When Antarctica gets a red dot it's game over.

EDIT: It uses John Hopkins data, we have a non map version that actually works with provinces/states too

Humphreys fucked around with this message at 09:47 on Mar 28, 2020

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


iRend posted:

I saw a bag of rice on sale for $50 at the Easy Convenience store. Seems a bit gougey.

You can report that poo poo you know?

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Infinitum posted:

Breathe Deeper quickly becoming my unofficial pandemic theme

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs-MtItyOFc

This is my low effort one. Been cranking it all arvo. I THINK I have the lyrics down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OyBtMPqpNY

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Lolie posted:

About time. Now let's see if they enforce it. The PM's statement implied that it's up to the states whether or not they enforce it. It's kind of pointless if they don't.

I had a cop car pull up outside my house for whatever tehy were up to and yelled out to gently caress off now there's 3 of us. Got a laugh and thumbs up from the cops.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


well why not posted:

yeah this part is key. Wahl clippers and a power lead beat anything. You should have an extension lead long enough so you can do it outside so you don’t have to clean up.

I have a battery Wahl and stand in the shower when trimming my beard. then I have a shower and no mess no fuss!

Speaking of mess and fuss:

LOL Virgin Australia asking for a bailout.
It's owned by Nanshan Group chaired by billionaire Jianmin Song,
HNA Group - a chinese company that owns 25% of Hilton worldwide with equity of over $22 billion,
Singapore Airlines which has a net income of $789.3 million
Etihad Airways - chaired by Mohamed Mubarak Al Mazrouei (CEO of the Abu Dhabi Crown Prince's Court).
The company's founder Sir Richard Branson still owns a 10% stake.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


McSpergin posted:

I'm interested too now tbh, that sounds good as

Made big batch of ragu, splash of good fish sauce at the end really lifted it to the next level

Watching bad boy bubby for the first time

What a loving thing this is. No idea how it won any awards tbh, weird as gently caress.

It's supposed to be a black comedy but it's not actually that funny

I enjoy it in a completely bullshit 'how did it get greenlit by anyone?' way.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule



Context? Cos that quality of a screengrab looks like an old Tom Green skit

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

They’re shuttering something like 60 local papers, I don’t think the fassifern guardian is news corpse thank god

Yeah the local printing press company has lowered their staff to 3 days per week. Not sure what the situation with the 1500 a fortnight poo poo for the staff though.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


I still have a job, and overheard the owner saying it's ok to pause their lease on other commercial property he owns to the tenant. So by that I'm figuring we are going to be ok at work.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Kharnifex posted:

I can't hangout on there all day, PM me next time tho! It'll email me :) I woulda paid you 50 bucks too

What dastardly thing are you up to?

~Coxy posted:

In the 90s at whatever xmas concert was in Shellharbour we got to see The Hooley Dooleys perform on the back of a flatbed trailer!

You rear end in a top hat, I had forgotten this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp7FF7H5mlU

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


naeka posted:

Watching tv shows from The Before Time yelling at the tv WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE STANDING SO CLOSE DISTANCE FOR FUCKS SAKE and cringing when people have physical contact.

This is truth!

"How can Marty operate a casino with only 2 people in the room?"

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


A little silver lining to all this COVID poo poo is I haven't had a single telemarketer/scammer call in weeks!

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


UnfortunateSexFart posted:



Local Woolies was overflowing with tp despite being a busy Saturday afternoon.

Yeah I was pleasantly surprised to get an 8pack of TP today, it was the good 3ply stuff too! I've lasted a month on a single roll of single ply so this should last until the heatdeath of the universe. Also got some normal spaghetti, that stuff has been constantly missing at my local!

I was driving and couldnt take a photo but local bottlo had a hand written sign "I assure you we are open" - great clerks reference.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


well why not posted:

loving real estate agent running an open house in my building this morning. Against the rules, loving irresponsible as.

Called the cops. Wouldn’t normally but there’s heaps of old people in this building and signs up from management everywhere. Cop said he would have to look up the rules because “they change every day” but was pretty sure it was not on.

I didn't want to be a Karen but in this situation I had to be. 3 cars worth of people I've never seen rolled up across the road and entered the house for a few hours. Cops asked me to get licence plate numbers... gently caress off, get over here and police. I'll all for visiting a mate, but having that many people over including the suspicious bit of blocking two driveways might have made the cops actually respond.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Not Evans posted:

Just got done marathoning every Ken Block Gymkhana video, who is the Australian equivalent I should check out? I can tell you more facts about slot cars than real cars but I might actually be into this motorsports thing, doing burnouts is actually really fun and cool.

It's not aussie and not slot cars but you might like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZwc0BlAvzQ

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


zubraman posted:

AFP recruits busted over late-night party in breach of coronavirus social-distancing rules

lol

Funny that those AFP knobs are in the poo poo, double funny that the dude taking the video sounds like such a weiner.

I have a clue on who's gonna be in the surveillance van the rest of his career.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


The gently caress is going on this year? Now George Pell is released? loving hell. Hope someone who still has a gun and ammo gets busy.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


well why not posted:

empty quote this if you would fight the pope

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Raged posted:

For the love of Zod. Don't go shopping today. I had to for work and it wasn't even the 45+ minute lines to get in the shop. It was the old people. They just don't give a gently caress. Anything from getting in your personal space over and over to congregating in big groups in shopping isles to talk to each other. The woolies I was at was really organized and had a nice sectioned 1 person wide line to leave the building. I was leaving and the line just did not move for a few minutes due to an old couple deciding to stop the whole line to chat with friends.

There was some pearl clutching when I told them to move or get run over. Normally I would feel bad, but gently caress them.

I lie I still feel bad, but I know I was right.

The dose of BoomerRemover will cull the herd soon enough

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Kharnifex posted:

Hooooooo boy

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Caesar Saladin posted:

Thanks man. Tbh a piece of nicotine gum made me feel a lot better. So spicy though.

I wasn't told the last time I tried to quit about how to use the gum. Pro tip is to chew it until the spicy comes out then store it in your gum like a squirrel with an acorn. This releases the nicotine faster into your system. And don't get a piece when you want to smoke/your old break times. Constantly change it out when it looses that spice. I was a smoker for 16 years and getting that advice on how to use the gum properly knocked my cravings in maybe a week.

As for the physical associations with smoking I still went out on my 'smoko' but sat and checked phone etc. So I got that mind-reset that a smoke break used to do.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Infinitum posted:

If less than 40% of people download the tracking app, we're going to recommend it be compulsory

Cause I'm sure a hastily put together ramshackled app won't have any data breaches or vulnerabilities in TYOOL 2020

Get fuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkeeeeddddddddd

Or we just use our currently factory installed tracking apps (find my phone etc), and the data is 100% owned by ourselves and only available via warrant and only a specific window of time of logs which the authorities can prove is for back tracing?

I found my phone after a terrible drugged night out using the built in breadcrumb trailing my phone does via my google account.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Blow posted:

Same.

loving air tanks are so heavy on land.

loving gravity man.

When you get in the water it's all cool.

Like cold.

Also kinda weightless.

I was always cold as gently caress when diving. lovely hired wetsuits. They lose their insulation properties after a while. I'm also skinny as gently caress.

Do you know what it's like to dive on a tugboat wreck at Eden whilst shivering underwater at 20 metres?

All I wanted to do was to get back in the dive boat, go back to the hotel and have a long hot shower.

The tugboat was covered in jewel anemones.



I remember being a kid throwing stuff at the SCUBA trainees on GKI in the Wreckbar pool on the day Daryl Braithwaite was running about at low tide filming a song about horses.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


America right now going for the high score:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMhwddNQSWQ

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


the cool posts kid posted:

if the aus gov sends somebody out to eat my entire fucken arsehole, then yeah, ok, i'll install their stupid fucken tracking app. otherwise, they can eat both of my arseholes

Is there a link yet to the app? Cos I haven't done fun GPS/GLONASS realtime spoofing in a while. Also jonseing for a new reason for the feds to have a repeat visit.
The moment it's out theres gonna be some fun reverse engineering going on.

Humphreys fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Apr 17, 2020

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Aussie thread is lacking our juice.

I'm triying to find my way to my lord and savior but I don't trust google:

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule



gently caress you. I need this. Pity its in the USA only

Humphreys fucked around with this message at 09:03 on Apr 19, 2020

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Infinitum posted:

It's also $140AUD once you factor in shipping /w no return policy

And it'll take 6-8 weeks to get here.

Yeah total bullshit.

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


My local AusPost bloke is almost in a meltdown over how busy they are. It's like the XMas chaos but consistent and isn't going to end any time soon. I'm poo poo outta luck getting Airfreight through my TNT account all ETAs are *shrugs shoulders*

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


The Kins posted:

Looking at a sea of "Unavailable Online", "Out of Stock" and "Est. Delivery Date: June" and coming to the too-late realisation that this might not be the best time in human history to look into buying a new office chair, on account of the entire country going into home-office mode...

Same with webcams. Everyone getting their pornhub community account fired up!

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Megabound posted:

Hey Maxe, I own a medium format enlarger now and we can make your dreams a reality.



you know you be enlarging that poo poo right here

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


McSpergin posted:

It's a Samsung top loader, 8.5kg one. Not sure on the model exactly but they only sell one in that size


Normally I would take them up on that but the woman I got the old one off on gumtree is giving me a refund because I got two bung washers off her. Both had door locking issues (front loaders)

I was a service agent for approx 5 years spanning pretty much every brand under the sun except Bosch (cos gently caress them for being difficult to their own agents). I had to giggle at the mention of 'appliances online' then when you said a Samsung it changed to :vince: You literally bought something worse than a Turkish made frontloader (Beko). Put a smoke alarm in the laundry. Seriously.

At least you didn't buy it from 'The Good Guys' and got suckered into the concierge bullshit.

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Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule


Airstream Driver posted:

Interested in what's wrong with the Goodguys concierge service because I just had a pretty good experience with it. Bought a Samsung tv from them over 3 years ago, 3 weeks later when the price dropped lower at a different store they refunded me 120% of the difference. I got $20 store credit every 4 months for the duration of the concierge period. 3 months ago when the tv had a fault they organised to have it taken away and looked at. They then offered a full store credit refund and extended the warranty on the new tv I chose for another 5 years for free.

From a service agent side they lie through their teeth. Say the customer will be contacted within 24 hours for in home support. We didn't even get the job for a few days. Then the customer calls us bitching why we aren't at their house. We have no Idea who they are because no job lodged yet.

TV repair under Samsung though is easy peasy. Customer calls Samsung and says its screwy. The agent gets shipped the parts the Samsung rep believes will fix the problem usually overnight and sometimes beats the email sent to us. Then fingers crossed the rep got it right or customer rages at us thinking we decided the wrong parts.

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